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1. Why did the stalker break up with their GPS? It kept giving them directions to restraining orders.
2. What’s a stalker’s favorite game? Hide and freak out!
3. Why did the stalker become a gardener? They love to plant themselves outside your window.
4. How does a stalker like their coffee? With a little bit of creeping cream.
5. Why was the stalker always calm during storms? Because they’re used to weathering restraining orders.
6. What’s a stalker’s favorite type of music? Stalk ‘n’ roll!
7. Why don’t stalkers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding from them!
8. What did the stalker say to the doorbell? “Stop ringing, you’re giving away my location!”
9. Why did the stalker take up painting? So they could always have a portrait of their crush.
10. How does a stalker exercise? They do a lot of lurking lunges and creeping crunches.
11. Why did the stalker get a job at the bakery? So they could always have their eyes on the buns.
12. What’s a stalker’s favorite movie? “The Silence of the Lambs” – because they love to watch.
13. Why did the stalker refuse to play poker? Because they always fold under pressure… and restraining orders.
14. What’s a stalker’s favorite holiday? Halloween – the one day they can blend in with the crowd.
15. Why did the stalker go to therapy? To learn how to give people space… from across the street.
16. What did the stalker say to the mirror? “Stop reflecting on my stalking habits!”
17. Why don’t stalkers ever get lost? Because they always have their eyes on you.
18. What’s a stalker’s favorite accessory? Binoculars – for that extra close-up.
19. Why did the stalker join a book club? So they could always have a peek into someone else’s life.
20. How does a stalker like their steak cooked? Medium rare, just like their alibis.

1. Why did the stalker break up with their GPS? Because it was too clingy!
2. Did you hear about the stalker who got lost? They couldn’t find themselves!
3. Why did the stalker bring a ladder to the bar? To stalk the highball glasses!
4. What did the stalker say to the jogger? “You really run away with my heart!”
5. Why did the stalker become a gardener? Because they love to plant themselves outside someone’s window!
6. What did the stalker ghost say to Casper? “I’ve been following you since you were transparent!”
7. Why did the stalker apply to work at the bakery? Because they heard they knead to be persistent!
8. What did the stalker say to their mirror reflection? “Stop following me everywhere I go!”
9. Why did the stalker take up painting? So they could always have a portrait of their crush!
10. What did the stalker say when caught in the library? “I was just browsing through your life story!”
11. Why did the stalker enroll in a dance class? To perfect the art of following!
12. What did the stalker bring to the picnic? Surveillance sandwiches!
13. Why did the stalker become a magician? So they could disappear whenever things got too intense!
14. What did the stalker say to the mailman? “I’ve been tracking your every move!”
15. Why did the stalker start a band? So they could have a groupie following!
16. What did the stalker say to their therapist? “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about our sessions outside your office!”
17. Why did the stalker become a lifeguard? To save their crush from drowning in love!
18. What did the stalker say when asked about their favorite hobby? “I’m quite good at shadowing people!”
19. Why did the stalker bring a map to the party? To find their way into everyone’s personal space!
20. What did the stalker say to the fortune teller? “I already know everything about you!”

1. Why did the stalker refuse to play hide and seek? Because they’re already too good at finding people!
2. Did you hear about the stalker who got a job at the zoo? They’re now the expert in tracking animals!
3. Why did the stalker become a detective? Because stalking is just a fancy word for investigation!
4. What did the stalker say to the crossword puzzle? “I’ll find you, even if it takes all the clues!”
5. Why did the stalker enroll in a coding class? So they could hack into their crush’s social media without leaving a trace!
6. What did the stalker say to the chess champion? “I’m the master of predicting your next move!”
7. Why did the stalker become a chef? So they could perfect the art of stalking without being noticed!
8. What did the stalker say to the detective? “You think you’re good at tracking? You should see my skills!”
9. Why did the stalker join a debate club? So they could argue their way out of any suspicion!
10. What did the stalker say to the crossword puzzle? “I’ll find you, even if it takes all the clues!”
11. Why did the stalker become a locksmith? So they could always have access to their crush’s heart!
12. What did the stalker say to the locksmith? “I’ve been following your work for a while now!”
13. Why did the stalker enroll in a foreign language course? So they could eavesdrop on more conversations!
14. What did the stalker say to the meteorologist? “I don’t need a weather forecast to know where you’ll be!”
15. Why did the stalker become a tour guide? So they could lead their crush on a journey of unexpected encounters!
16. What did the stalker say to the detective? “You may have a badge, but I’ve got intuition!”
17. Why did the stalker become a hacker? So they could track their crush’s digital footprint!
18. What did the stalker say to the hypnotist? “You can’t make me forget how to follow people!”
19. Why did the stalker become a crossword puzzle designer? So they could leave secret messages in plain sight!
20. What did the stalker say to the puzzle master? “I’ve been solving your riddles long before we met!”

1. Why did the stalker bring a ladder to the concert? To get a better view of their favorite band… and their crush!
2. What did the stalker say to the electrician? “I’m shocked by how easily I can find you!”
3. Why did the stalker go to the art gallery? To admire their crush’s portrait… from a safe distance!
4. What did the stalker say to the tailor? “Can you make me an invisibility cloak? It’s for a friend.”
5. Why did the stalker become a delivery person? So they could always find where their crush lives!
6. What did the stalker say to the optometrist? “I don’t need glasses to see where you’re going!”
7. Why did the stalker become a DJ? So they could always follow the beat!
8. What did the stalker say to the Uber driver? “Follow that car! But quietly.”
9. Why did the stalker take up photography? So they could capture every moment with their crush!
10. What did the stalker say to the park ranger? “I’m just here to admire the wildlife… and maybe a certain someone!”
11. Why did the stalker become a florist? So they could always have an excuse to leave flowers on someone’s doorstep!
12. What did the stalker say to the flight attendant? “I’ll take the seat next to my crush… even if it’s in the cargo hold!”
13. Why did the stalker become a librarian? So they could always check out their crush!
14. What did the stalker say to the GPS? “Take me to where my heart desires… and where my crush lives!”
15. Why did the stalker join a cooking class? So they could perfect the recipe for love!
16. What did the stalker say to the lifeguard? “I’m just here to swim laps… and keep an eye on someone special!”
17. Why did the stalker become a pilot? So they could follow their crush to new heights!
18. What did the stalker say to the tailor? “Can you make me a cloak of invisibility? It’s for a friend… or maybe for me.”
19. Why did the stalker become a masseuse? So they could always be close to their crush… without them knowing!
20. What did the stalker say to the florist? “I’ll take the bouquet with extra roses… for my secret admirer!”

1. Why did the stalker enroll in a time-traveling class? Because they wanted to make sure they never missed a moment with their crush! They figured if they could go back in time, they could be there for every smile, every laugh, every moment their crush looked their way. But things got complicated when they accidentally traveled to the future and saw their crush with someone else. So, they decided to focus on the present and just follow their heart!
2. What did the stalker do when they found out their crush was moving? They didn’t panic; instead, they saw it as an opportunity for a grand adventure! They packed their bags, grabbed their binoculars, and embarked on a journey to follow their crush to their new destination. Along the way, they faced challenges like disguising themselves as a mailbox to blend in with the moving truck, hitching rides with migrating birds, and even learning to navigate by the stars. But in the end, they realized that no matter where their crush went, they’d always be there, silently watching from afar.
3. Why did the stalker start a podcast? Well, they figured if they were going to spend all their time following people around, they might as well make it entertaining! So, they launched “Stalking Stories with Steve” where they regaled listeners with tales of their most daring escapades. From hiding in bushes to sneaking into exclusive events, each episode was filled with suspense, humor, and the occasional run-in with the law. And while some might call it creepy, Steve preferred to think of it as a public service – after all, everyone loves a good story!
4. What did the stalker do when they accidentally bumped into their crush at the grocery store? They panicked, of course! But instead of running away, they decided to seize the moment and turn it into a romantic comedy-worthy encounter. So, they quickly grabbed a bunch of bananas and staged a hilarious slip-and-fall routine, landing right at their crush’s feet. And as they looked up with a sheepish grin, they realized that sometimes, fate has a funny way of bringing people together… even if it involves a little stalking!
5. Why did the stalker become a tour guide? Because they realized that their stalking skills weren’t just creepy – they were marketable! So, they started offering “Stalker Tours” where they’d take groups of eager adventurers on a behind-the-scenes look at their favorite stalking spots. From the best bushes for hiding to the most inconspicuous alleys for lurking, they shared all their insider tips and tricks. And while some might question the ethics of it all, the tourists couldn’t deny that it was an experience they’d never forget!
6. What did the stalker do when they accidentally sent a text meant for their crush to their mom instead? They panicked, of course! But instead of pretending it never happened, they decided to lean into the embarrassment and turn it into a comedy routine. So, they invited their mom over for dinner, whipped up their famous meatloaf, and regaled her with tales of their awkward dating misadventures. And as they laughed together over the mistaken text, they realized that sometimes, the best way to deal with embarrassment is to embrace it and share it with the people you love.
7. Why did the stalker start a YouTube channel? Because they figured if they were going to spend all their time following people around, they might as well document it for the world to see! So, they launched “Stalker Cam” where they live-streamed their daily adventures in pursuit of their crush. From stakeouts in the park to surveillance in the coffee shop, they broadcasted it all, complete with commentary and analysis. And while some might call it invasive, they preferred to think of it as a modern-day love story – after all, everyone loves a good rom-com!
8. What did the stalker do when they found out their crush was getting married? They didn’t despair; instead, they saw it as a challenge! So, they dusted off their detective hat, sharpened their stalking skills, and embarked on a mission to sabotage the wedding. From swapping out the bride’s bouquet for a bouquet of weeds to releasing a swarm of bees during the ceremony, they pulled out all the stops to derail the nuptials. But in the end, they realized that love can’t be forced – it has to come naturally. So, they decided to let go and move on… to their next crush!
9. Why did the stalker start a support group? Because they realized that stalking can be a lonely business! So, they gathered together a group of fellow stalkers and formed “Stalkers Anonymous” where they could share their stories, vent their frustrations, and offer each other support. From tips on how to avoid getting caught to strategies for dealing with rejection, they covered it all. And while some might question the ethics of it all, they knew that sometimes, the only people who truly understand you are the ones who are just as creepy as you are!
10. What did the stalker do when they realized they’d been following the wrong person for weeks? They didn’t despair; instead, they saw it as an opportunity for personal growth! So, they dusted themselves off, adjusted their binoculars, and set out to find their true target. Along the way, they learned valuable lessons about perseverance, determination, and the importance of double-checking your GPS coordinates. And while some might call it a waste of time, they knew that sometimes, the journey is just as important as the destination.

1. Why did the stalker bring a magnifying glass to school? Because they wanted to get a closer look at their crush… from a safe distance!
2. What did the stalker say when caught peeking through their neighbor’s window? “I was just checking if they needed help with their homework!”
3. Why did the stalker join the soccer team? So they could always be close to their crush… even if it meant following them around the field!
4. What did the stalker say to their friend at the playground? “Let’s play hide and seek… and I’ll always know where you are!”
5. Why did the stalker become a detective for Halloween? So they could practice their sleuthing skills before the real stalking begins!
6. What did the stalker say when caught trailing their teacher? “I was just trying to figure out what they like for Teacher Appreciation Day!”
7. Why did the stalker bring a disguise to the birthday party? So they could blend in with the other kids while keeping an eye on their crush!
8. What did the stalker say when asked about their favorite hobby? “I’m really good at following people… on social media!”
9. Why did the stalker enroll in ballet class? So they could gracefully tiptoe around their crush without being noticed!
10. What did the stalker say to their parents when caught eavesdropping on their conversation? “I was just practicing my listening skills for school!”
11. Why did the stalker become a magician’s assistant? So they could perfect the art of disappearing whenever things got too intense!
12. What did the stalker say when caught rifling through their sibling’s diary? “I was just making sure they’re not planning a surprise party for me!”
13. Why did the stalker bring a camera to the family picnic? To capture every moment… and every move their crush makes!
14. What did the stalker say when caught following the ice cream truck? “I was just trying to see if they have my favorite flavor in stock!”
15. Why did the stalker join the school choir? So they could always be close to their crush… even if it meant singing from the back row!
16. What did the stalker say when caught peeking into their neighbor’s mailbox? “I was just making sure they got their mail on time!”
17. Why did the stalker become a lifeguard? So they could keep an eye on their crush… and rescue them from drowning in love!
18. What did the stalker say when caught spying on the school play rehearsal? “I was just trying to see if they need any help with their lines!”
19. Why did the stalker bring binoculars to the park? So they could admire the scenery… and their crush!
20. What did the stalker say when caught following the pizza delivery person? “I was just making sure they find our house okay!”

1. Why did the stalker bring a telescope to the bar? To keep an eye on their crush… and the drink specials!
2. What did the stalker say when caught lurking outside their ex’s house? “I was just dropping off their mail… and reminiscing about old times!”
3. Why did the stalker enroll in a wine tasting class? So they could always be close to their crush… and indulge in a little liquid courage!
4. What did the stalker say when caught scrolling through their crush’s social media profile? “I was just doing some market research… for potential dating prospects!”
5. Why did the stalker become a private investigator? So they could turn their creepy hobby into a lucrative career!
6. What did the stalker say when caught snooping through their neighbor’s trash? “I was just trying to see if they recycle… and maybe find some juicy gossip!”
7. Why did the stalker join a yoga class? So they could practice their downward dog… while keeping an eye on their crush!
8. What did the stalker say when caught peeking through their coworker’s office window? “I was just admiring the view… and brainstorming some innovative ideas!”
9. Why did the stalker bring binoculars to the gym? To get a better view of their crush… and their workout routine!
10. What did the stalker say when caught following their boss to lunch? “I was just hoping to discuss some important business matters… over a sandwich!”
11. Why did the stalker take up painting? So they could create a masterpiece… of their crush’s face!
12. What did the stalker say when caught lurking in the shadows at the party? “I was just enjoying the ambiance… and blending in with the decor!”
13. Why did the stalker join a book club? So they could discuss literature… and discreetly observe their crush!
14. What did the stalker say when caught eavesdropping on their neighbor’s conversation? “I was just practicing my active listening skills… and enjoying the neighborhood gossip!”
15. Why did the stalker bring a notepad to the coffee shop? To jot down their thoughts… and sketch their crush’s silhouette!
16. What did the stalker say when caught lurking in the bushes outside their crush’s house? “I was just enjoying nature… and contemplating the mysteries of love!”
17. Why did the stalker enroll in a cooking class? So they could perfect their culinary skills… and impress their crush with a romantic dinner!
18. What did the stalker say when caught following their ex on vacation? “I was just coincidentally traveling to the same destination… and reliving our memories together!”
19. Why did the stalker start a blog? So they could share their insights… and anonymously document their obsession with their crush!
20. What did the stalker say when caught lurking in the dark alley? “I was just taking a shortcut home… and enjoying the ambiance of the night!”

1. Why did the stalker bring a map to the family reunion? So he could always find his relatives… and their secrets!
2. What did the stalker say when caught peeking through the window at the barbecue? “I was just checking if the grill was hot… and if my steak was ready!”
3. Why did the stalker enroll in a gardening class? So he could always have an excuse to be outside… and keep an eye on the neighbors!
4. What did the stalker say when caught snooping through his daughter’s phone? “I was just making sure she’s not texting boys… and that her data plan is being used wisely!”
5. Why did the stalker bring binoculars to the school play? To get a closer look at his kids… and their performances!
6. What did the stalker say when caught following his son to the soccer game? “I was just making sure he’s staying hydrated… and that he’s not hogging the ball!”
7. Why did the stalker join the PTA? So he could always be involved in his kids’ education… and subtly keep an eye on their classmates!
8. What did the stalker say when caught lurking in the bushes at the park? “I was just birdwatching… and enjoying the scenery!”
9. Why did the stalker take up photography? So he could capture every moment with his family… and document their every move!
10. What did the stalker say when caught eavesdropping on his daughter’s sleepover? “I was just making sure they’re not staying up too late… and that they’re not planning any mischief!”
11. Why did the stalker bring a disguise to the school dance? So he could chaperone incognito… and embarrass his kids without them knowing!
12. What did the stalker say when caught trailing his son to the mall? “I was just making sure he’s not spending all his allowance… and that he’s not hanging out with the wrong crowd!”
13. Why did the stalker enroll in a cooking class? So he could surprise his family with delicious meals… and keep an eye on their eating habits!
14. What did the stalker say when caught spying on his daughter’s date? “I was just making sure he opens the car door for her… and that he brings her home before curfew!”
15. Why did the stalker bring a tape recorder to the family dinner? So he could capture every conversation… and play it back later for analysis!
16. What did the stalker say when caught lurking in the garage? “I was just checking if the car needs an oil change… and if there are any tools missing!”
17. Why did the stalker enroll in a self-defense class? So he could protect his family from danger… and discreetly follow them around!
18. What did the stalker say when caught browsing through his son’s browser history? “I was just making sure he’s using the internet responsibly… and that he’s not visiting any questionable websites!”
19. Why did the stalker bring a notepad to the family vacation? So he could jot down memories… and secretly keep track of everyone’s whereabouts!
20. What did the stalker say when caught lurking in the backyard? “I was just checking if the lawn needs mowing… and if there are any suspicious footprints!”

1. Why did the stalker break up with their GPS? Because it kept telling them where to go, but not where their crush was!
2. What did the stalker say to their crush? “Are you a surveillance camera? Because I can’t stop staring at you!”
3. Why did the stalker bring a ladder to the art gallery? Because they heard their crush was hanging around!
4. How does a stalker keep their hands warm? By holding onto their binoculars while watching their crush from afar!
5. Why did the stalker get kicked out of the grocery store? Because they were caught checking out their crush in the produce section!
6. What did the stalker say when they finally met their crush? “I’ve been following you… on social media!”
7. Why did the stalker get a job at the bakery? So they could always be near their crush’s favorite pastries!
8. What did the stalker say to their crush at the coffee shop? “I like my coffee like I like my stalking… with a hint of obsession!”
9. Why did the stalker become a locksmith? So they could always have a key to their crush’s heart!
10. What did the stalker say when caught hiding in the bushes? “I was just leaf-ing you love notes!”
11. Why did the stalker enroll in a dance class? To learn how to cha-cha closer to their crush without being noticed!
12. What did the stalker say when asked about their hobby? “I’m into extreme birdwatching… I mean, people watching!”
13. Why did the stalker start gardening? So they could plant themselves outside their crush’s window!
14. What did the stalker say to their crush’s pet? “You must be pretty special… your owner is my main pursuit!”
15. Why did the stalker join a theater group? So they could practice their role as the leading character in their crush’s life!
16. What did the stalker say when caught taking pictures of their crush? “I’m just developing… I mean, developing feelings for you!”
17. Why did the stalker take up jogging? So they could keep up with their crush’s pace without raising suspicion!
18. What did the stalker say to their crush at the bookstore? “I must be a bestseller because you can’t seem to put me down!”
19. Why did the stalker buy a telescope? So they could reach for the stars while spying on their crush!
20. What did the stalker say when caught rearranging their crush’s furniture? “I was just trying to find the best angle to admire you from!”

Share a laugh !