“100+ SCP Jokes That’ll Secure Your Laughter Containment”


“100+ SCP Jokes That’ll Secure Your Laughter Containment”

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In the enigmatic realm of “Secure Contain Puns,” where the lines between humor and containment breach blur like a disoriented D-Class personnel, we’re about to embark on a laughter-laden journey through the cryptically comical confines of the SCP Foundation. Buckle up, folks, as we breach the humorous anomaly, exploring jokes that defy containment, chuckles that breach the boundaries, and puns so perilously peculiar, they’d make even SCP-682 crack a smile.

“20 Startlingly Clever Puns in the SCP Universe”

  1. Why don’t SCPs ever get invited to parties? Because they always bring the containment breach!
  2. How do you organize a party for SCP-999? You just let it get the giggles!
  3. Why did SCP-682 become a chef? Because it wanted to try a taste of everything, and everyone!
  4. Why did SCP-173 apply for a job at the art museum? It wanted to be a stone-cold sculpture!
  5. Why was SCP-914 so good at math? Because it always knew how to refine its calculations!
  6. What do you get when you cross SCP-049 with SCP-999? The world’s friendliest plague doctor!
  7. Why did SCP-096 get kicked out of the movie theater? Because it just couldn’t keep its cool during the previews!
  8. What’s SCP-682’s favorite game? Hide and seek. It’s never been found!
  9. How does SCP-173 stay in shape? It does a lot of “statue-robics!”
  10. Why did SCP-999 become a motivational speaker? Because it could always turn a frown upside down!
  11. Why did SCP-914 start a fashion line? Because it knew how to take things from “rough” to “fine”!
  12. What’s SCP-096’s favorite type of music? “Screamo,” of course!
  13. Why was SCP-999 always picked first for team-building exercises? Because it was the ultimate “trust fall” partner!
  14. Why did SCP-049 go to medical school? Because it wanted to “cure” everyone!
  15. How does SCP-682 like its coffee? With a little bit of “acid”!
  16. Why did SCP-173 get a job as a security guard? Because it always had its “eye” on the prize!
  17. Why did SCP-999 never make a good lawyer? Because it couldn’t stand the “suspicion”!
  18. What’s SCP-914’s favorite type of sandwich? A “fine-tuned” one!
  19. Why did SCP-096 get into photography? Because it wanted to capture the perfect “shy” moment!
  20. Why did SCP-682 start a landscaping business? Because it could “grow” anything!

“20 Hilarious Anecdotes from the ‘Otherworldly Anomaly Archives'”

  1. Why did SCP-682 become a chef? Because it wanted to serve up some really tough meals!
  2. SCP-173 tried its hand at stand-up comedy, but its act was just stone-faced humor.
  3. SCP-049 tried to start a fashion line, but it could never find the right “cure” for bad style.
  4. Why did SCP-096 get kicked out of the movie theater? It couldn’t handle the “face” on the big screen!
  5. SCP-999 decided to become a motivational speaker, spreading happiness and goo-od vibes everywhere.
  6. SCP-914 walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, “Rough day? Do you want a ‘very fine’ drink or a ‘coarse’ one?”
  7. SCP-096 and SCP-682 went on a road trip together. It was a smashing success!
  8. Why did SCP-914 start a music band? Because it knew how to turn “rough” sounds into “fine” tunes!
  9. SCP-173 tried to play hide and seek, but it was always caught because it couldn’t “face” the consequences.
  10. SCP-682 attempted to write a book, but it couldn’t find an editor willing to work with something so “hard” to handle.
  11. SCP-999 walked into a haunted house, and suddenly, all the ghosts felt warm and fuzzy inside.
  12. Why did SCP-049 become a gardener? It wanted to cure the world of its plant problems!
  13. SCP-096 started a YouTube channel, but every video was just 10 minutes of static and sobbing.
  14. SCP-682 joined a support group for misunderstood creatures, but it just couldn’t relate to the others.
  15. SCP-914 tried its hand at art, but its paintings always came out as “very fine” abstract masterpieces.
  16. Why did SCP-999 get a job at the library? Because it wanted to help people find their happy endings!
  17. SCP-173 applied for a job as a statue model but was turned down for being too “stone-faced.”
  18. SCP-049 decided to become a barber, but every haircut turned into a “cure” for hair.
  19. Why did SCP-096 go to therapy? Because it needed help dealing with its “emotional outbursts”!
  20. SCP-682 tried to learn to dance but could never find a partner who could keep up with its “unpredictable” moves!

“Another 20 Startling Anecdotes: The Secretly Chuckle-Inducing SCP Chronicles”

  1. Why did SCP-682 apply for a job at a bakery? Because it wanted to become the ultimate loaf of bread!
  2. What did SCP-049 say to the researcher? “Don’t worry, I’m just here for a routine check-up… with my scalpel.”
  3. Why did SCP-999 bring a ladder into its containment chamber? Because it wanted to make friends on a higher level!
  4. Why did SCP-096 go to therapy? Because it couldn’t keep a straight face anymore!
  5. How does SCP-173 like to dance? Rock and statue roll!
  6. Why did SCP-914 get kicked out of the art gallery? Because it turned all the paintings into “abstract expressions”!
  7. What’s SCP-682’s favorite type of music? Reptile rock!
  8. Why did SCP-999 refuse to play hide and seek with SCP-682? Because it knew that seeking him would be a pain in the gelatinous butt!
  9. What did the SCP Foundation say when asked about their vacation plans? “We’re going to an undisclosed location… as always!”
  10. Why did SCP-294 get banned from the coffee shop? Because it kept ordering “liquid luck”!
  11. Why did SCP-049 start a cooking show? Because it wanted to turn everything into “The Perfect Recipe for Pestilence”!
  12. Why did SCP-096 become a gardener? Because it wanted to cultivate its emotional growth!
  13. How did SCP-682 become a motivational speaker? It said, “If I can survive the SCP Foundation, you can survive anything!”
  14. Why did SCP-999 get a job as a therapist? Because it had a talent for “emotional goo-ism”!
  15. What’s SCP-173’s favorite type of game? “Statue-quo”!
  16. Why did SCP-914 apply for a job in the fashion industry? Because it knew how to “elegantly refine” any outfit!
  17. What did SCP-096 say when it discovered it had a twin? “Two faces are better than one!”
  18. Why did SCP-682 become a comedian? Because it wanted to “crack” some jokes for a change!
  19. Why did SCP-999 start a daycare? Because it wanted to spread joy and happiness to the littlest anomalies!
  20. Why did SCP-049 join a singing competition? Because it thought it had the “cure” for a winning performance!

“Another 20 Startlingly Comical Parables of Secure Containment”

  1. Why did SCP-682 refuse to play hide and seek? Because it can’t stand containment breaches!
  2. SCP-999 and SCP-682 walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve anomalies here.” SCP-682 replies, “I’ll have a drink anyway.”
  3. Why did SCP-173 apply for a job at a sculpture garden? It wanted to feel at home with its kind!
  4. SCP-914 tried to fix a broken toaster, but now it toasts everything into “Very Fine” or “Coarse.” No more perfectly toasted bread!
  5. SCP-049 went to the doctor. The doctor said, “I’ve got just the cure for you: it’s a little thing called ‘normality.'”
  6. SCP-999 once tried to tickle SCP-682. The result? World’s shortest tickle fight!
  7. SCP-096 decided to take up acting. Its first role? A hide-and-seek champion in a horror movie!
  8. SCP-173 joined a dance competition. It won first place for its impressive “staying perfectly still” routine!
  9. Why did SCP-682 become a gardener? Because it wanted to work on its anger management by tending to roses!
  10. SCP-914 and SCP-426 walk into a café. SCP-914 says, “I’ll have a coffee, very fine.” SCP-426 says, “I am NOT a coffee!”
  11. SCP-682 tried its hand at stand-up comedy. The audience’s reaction? Petrifying laughter!
  12. SCP-999 and SCP-096 went camping. SCP-999 tried to make s’mores, but SCP-096 refused to show its face around the campfire!
  13. SCP-049 tried to write a self-help book. The title? “Curing What Ails You: One Plague Doctor’s Guide to Better Living!”
  14. Why did SCP-682 start a rock band? Because it wanted to be known for its “killer” performances!
  15. SCP-173 went to a yoga class to work on its flexibility. It excelled at the “statue pose.”
  16. SCP-999 and SCP-914 went on a road trip. SCP-999 kept asking, “Are we there yet?” while SCP-914 kept adjusting the radio to “Very Fine” stations.
  17. SCP-096 took up painting. All of its artworks were just blank canvases with a signature at the bottom!
  18. Why did SCP-682 become a chef? Because it wanted to perfect its recipe for “indestructible stew”!
  19. SCP-049 went to a costume party dressed as a regular doctor. Nobody recognized it, and it had a great time!

“20 Unearthly LOLs: Another Round of Startlingly Comedic Phenomena”

  1. Why did SCP-081 refuse to play hide-and-seek? Because it didn’t want to be the “hide” part of the game!
  2. SCP-082 walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” SCP-082 replies, “That’s okay, I’ve got my own containment chamber.”
  3. SCP-083 tried to be a stand-up comedian, but its jokes always fell flat. Literally.
  4. SCP-084 asked for a pet rock for its birthday. It got a containment breach instead.
  5. Why did SCP-085 get kicked out of art school? Because it kept bringing its drawings to life!
  6. SCP-086 walks into a bakery and asks, “Do you have any cake that’s not alive?”
  7. SCP-087 went on a date with SCP-682. It didn’t end well.
  8. SCP-088 decided to start a rock band. Their first hit single? “Containment Breach Blues.”
  9. SCP-089 tried to join the SCP Foundation’s basketball team but was disqualified for using telekinesis to dunk.
  10. Why did SCP-090 bring a ladder to the containment breach? It wanted to escape the hierarchy!
  11. SCP-091 tried to become a gardener, but every plant it touched turned into a carnivorous monster.
  12. SCP-092 has a secret talent – it can do the best impression of SCP-096’s face when you look at its picture!
  13. SCP-093 went to a costume party dressed as a rainbow. Everyone else at the party was colorblind.
  14. SCP-094 is really into cooking. Its specialty? “Anomalous Appetizers.”
  15. SCP-095 decided to become a therapist for other SCPs. It’s all about helping them open up!
  16. Why did SCP-096 cross the road? To get to the person who looked at its face, of course!
  17. SCP-097 tried to start a fashion trend by wearing its containment suit everywhere. It didn’t catch on.
  18. SCP-098 is a master at playing hide-and-seek. It once hid so well that even the Foundation couldn’t find it for a week!
  19. SCP-099’s favorite movie? “The Blob.”
  20. SCP-100 walked into a bar with SCP-173. The bartender said, “We don’t serve your kind here.” SCP-100 replied, “That’s fine, we’ll just stand here.”

“SCP Jokes: Laughing in the Face of Containment”

So, as this SCP-inspired humor anomaly reaches its containment’s end, remember that laughter is the ultimate SCP: Spreading Cheerful Parodies. Delve deeper into our repository of wit and chuckles, for within the shadows of humor, countless SCPs await your discovery, each more hilariously enigmatic than the last.

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