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1. Why did the scissor go to therapy? It had separation anxiety.
2. What do you call a scissor that won a race? A cut above the rest!
3. Why was the scissor always invited to parties? It knew how to cut loose!
4. How does a scissor apologize? It says, “I’m sorry if I’ve been cutting you off.”
5. Why did the scissor break up with the tape dispenser? It felt too boxed in.
6. What do you call a scissor that’s a great dancer? Shear talent!
7. Why did the scissor bring a map to school? To learn about all the cut-offs!
8. Why don’t scissor-like small talk? They prefer to cut to the chase!
9. What’s a scissor’s favorite game? Rock, paper, scissors—wait, never mind!
10. Why was the scissor such a good student? It always aced its cut-tests!
11. How does a scissor cheer up a friend? It gives them a little trim of happiness!
12. Why did the scissor refuse to fight with paper? It didn’t want to cause a rip in their friendship!
13. What’s a scissor’s favorite song? “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles—oh wait, wrong kind of cutting!
14. Why did the scissor go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a suitable plus-one!
15. Why did the scissor get promoted? It always knew how to make the right cuts!
16. What did the scissor say to the pencil? “Let’s draw a line under our differences and move on!”
17. Why did the scissor bring a calculator to work? To figure out the cut-off point!
18. Why did the scissor go to the comedy club? It wanted to sharpen its wit!
19. What’s a scissor’s favorite type of movie? Suspense—because it’s always on the edge!
20. Why did the scissor become a musician? It wanted to be in a cutting-edge band!

1. Why did the scissor refuse to run for office? It didn’t want to get caught up in all the paper cuts!
2. What did one scissor say to the other during an argument? “Let’s snip this in the bud before it gets out of hand!”
3. Why did the scissor break up with the ruler? It just couldn’t measure up!
4. How does a scissor stay in shape? It does lots of cutting-edge exercises!
5. Why was the scissor so bad at telling jokes? It always got too snippy!
6. What’s a scissor’s favorite mode of transportation? A cut-omobile!
7. Why did the scissor get a job at the bakery? It wanted to slice through the competition!
8. What did one scissor say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “You’re the cut above the rest!”
9. Why did the scissor blush? It saw someone undressing behind a curtain!
10. What do you call a scissor that’s always on time? Punctual blades!
11. Why did the scissor go to the party alone? It didn’t want to get too attached!
12. What’s a scissor’s favorite board game? Snip Snap Snorem—because it’s always ready to cut!
13. Why did the scissor get kicked out of the library? It kept cutting in line!
14. What did the scissor say to the hairbrush? “You’re such a cut above the rest!”
15. Why was the scissor always the life of the party? It knew how to make the cut!
16. What’s a scissor’s favorite type of music? Rock—because it’s always ready to roll!
17. Why did the scissor get detention? It was caught running with scissors!
18. What’s a scissor’s favorite movie genre? Snip-horror—because it’s always on the edge of its seat!
19. Why did the scissor go to school? It wanted to be a cut above the rest!
20. What did one scissor say to the other when they couldn’t agree? “Let’s just compromise and split the difference!”

1. Why did the scissor refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to get caught in a cut-throat game!
2. What did the scissor say to the pencil during an argument? “You draw your line, and I’ll cut mine!”
3. Why did the scissor bring a map to the party? It didn’t want to get lost in the cut and thrust!
4. What’s a scissor’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Cutting!”
5. Why did the scissor enroll in cooking class? It wanted to learn the art of precise cutting!
6. What did the scissor say to the paper airplane? “You think you’re fly, but I’m the one with the sharp edge!”
7. Why did the scissor win the spelling bee? It always knew how to make the right cuts!
8. What’s a scissor’s favorite type of tree? Cedar—because it’s always ready to saw through!
9. Why did the scissor go to the concert? It heard there would be cutting-edge music!
10. What did one scissor say to the other during a heated debate? “Let’s cut to the chase and trim down the arguments!”
11. Why did the scissor become a detective? It was good at cutting through red tape!
12. What’s a scissor’s favorite social media platform? Snipchat—where every post is brief and to the point!
13. Why did the scissor become a teacher? It wanted to show students how to make the right incisions!
14. What did the scissor say to the ruler? “You may measure up, but I’ll always make the final cut!”
15. Why did the scissor refuse to take up knitting? It didn’t want to get entangled in yarn!
16. What’s a scissor’s favorite holiday? Thanksgiving—because it loves slicing through turkey!
17. Why did the scissor get a job at the factory? It wanted to be part of the cutting-edge technology!
18. What did the scissor say to the saw? “You might have teeth, but I have the finesse!”
19. Why did the scissor go to the art gallery? It wanted to see some cutting-edge works!
20. What did the scissor say to the tape? “Stick with me, and together, we’ll make a cut above the rest!”

1. Why did the scissor never get lost? It always found its way to the point!
2. What did the scissor say to the tape? “Stick with me, and we’ll cut through any problem!”
3. Why was the scissor always happy? It had a cutting-edge sense of humor!
4. What do you call a scissor with a cold? Snip-sick!
5. Why did the scissor get a medal? It was outstanding in its field of cutting!
6. What’s a scissor’s favorite movie? “The Cutfather.”
7. Why did the scissor break up with the ruler? It couldn’t measure up!
8. How does a scissor greet its friends? “Cut it out! How are you?”
9. What did the scissor say to the hairbrush? “You’re quite a cut above!”
10. Why did the scissor go to school? It wanted to sharpen its knowledge!
11. What’s a scissor’s favorite sport? Fencing—because it’s all about the point!
12. Why did the scissor go to the party? It heard there would be cutting-edge music!
13. What’s a scissor’s favorite dessert? Snip-cream!
14. Why did the scissor become a musician? It wanted to be in a cutting-edge band!
15. What do you call a scissor that’s always working? A busy cut-ter!
16. Why did the scissor go to the gym? It wanted to stay sharp!
17. What’s a scissor’s favorite fairy tale? “The Princess and the Shear.”
18. Why was the scissor always happy? It had a sharp wit!
19. What did the scissor say to the paper? “I’ve got the edge.”
20. Why did the scissor break up with the stapler? It felt too attached!

1. Why did the scissors take up gardening? Because they wanted to see how long they could grow.
2. What did one scissor say to the other? “I bet I’m longer than you when we measure up.”
3. Why did the scissors go to school? To sharpen their knowledge and lengthen their reach.
4. Why was the scissor long-distance runner so successful? Because it always had a leg up on the competition!
5. How does a scissor keep track of time? By measuring the length of its cuts.
6. Why did the scissor go to therapy? Because it had a cutting-edge personality.
7. What did the scissor say to the paper? “I’m long enough to handle you!”
8. Why was the scissor a terrible comedian? Because it always cut the punchline too short.
9. Why did the scissor become a musician? Because it wanted to play long notes!
10. What did the scissor say to the ruler? “You may measure up, but I cut through all obstacles.”
11. Why did the scissor enroll in a stretching class? To become even longer and sharper.
12. Why did the scissor become a detective? Because it always cuts through the mystery!
13. What did one scissor say to the other in a race? “I’ll run long and cut to the finish line!”
14. Why was the scissor great at math? Because it could make even cuts every time!
15. Why did the scissor break up with the stapler? Because it was tired of being in a binding relationship.
16. What’s a scissor’s favorite exercise? Cutting corners!
17. Why did the scissor join the circus? To showcase its incredible balancing act!
18. What did the scissor say to the rock? “I’ll cut you down to size!”
19. Why did the scissor refuse to play cards? Because it didn’t want to deal with the cutting remarks.
20. Why was the scissor always the life of the party? Because it could always cut a rug!

1. Why did the scissor go to school? Because it wanted to learn how to cut class!
2. What did one scissor say to the other? “Let’s stick together and never cut ties!”
3. Why did the scissor bring a ladder to school? To reach new heights in cutting-edge education!
4. Why was the scissor afraid of the ruler? Because it heard the ruler was going to measure its sharpness!
5. What did the scissor say to the glue? “Stick with me, and we’ll be a cut above the rest!”
6. Why was the scissor such a good student? Because it always followed the “cut and paste” instructions perfectly!
7. What did the scissor say to the crayon? “Let’s color outside the lines together!”
8. Why did the scissor refuse to play hide and seek? Because it was tired of being the one who always got “cut out”!
9. What’s a scissor’s favorite subject in school? Cutting-edge mathematics!
10. Why was the scissor always in detention? Because it couldn’t stop making “cutting” remarks!
11. What did the scissor say to the pencil? “You draw the lines, and I’ll make the cuts!”
12. Why did the scissor bring a compass to school? To make sure its cuts were always on point!
13. What did the scissor say to the eraser? “Thanks for always helping me fix my mistakes!”
14. Why did the scissor win the spelling bee? Because it could always “cut” through the competition!
15. What did the scissor say to the ruler during recess? “Let’s measure our friendship!”
16. Why did the scissor get an award? Because it was always a cut above the rest!
17. What did the scissor say to the notebook? “Let’s make some sharp notes together!”
18. Why was the scissor so popular in art class? Because it could always “cut” through the creative clutter!
19. What did the scissor say to the tape? “Let’s stick together forever!”
20. Why did the scissor join the school band? Because it wanted to be a cut above the rest!

1. Why did the scissor apply for a job at the hair salon? Because it wanted to make a cut in the industry!
2. What did one scissor say to the other at the office? “Let’s cut through the red tape and get to the point!”
3. Why was the scissor so good at negotiations? Because it always knew when to make a clean cut!
4. What did the scissor say to the envelope? “Let’s seal the deal with a precise cut!”
5. Why did the scissor refuse to join the poker game? Because it was tired of getting “cut” out of the pot!
6. Why did the scissor break up with the ruler? Because it wanted a relationship with more depth!
7. What did the scissor say to the tape measure? “You measure up, but I make the cut!”
8. Why was the scissor such a hit at the cocktail party? Because it always knew how to “cut” through the small talk!
9. What did the scissor say to the chef? “Let’s slice and dice our way to culinary greatness!”
10. Why was the scissor considered the life of the party? Because it could always “cut” a rug on the dance floor!
11. What did the scissor say to the wine bottle? “Let’s uncork and cut loose!”
12. Why did the scissor enroll in the yoga class? To find its center and achieve the perfect cut!
13. What did the scissor say to the tailor? “Let’s sew together a masterpiece!”
14. Why was the scissor always invited to the brainstorming sessions? Because it could always “cut” through the confusion!
15. What did the scissor say to the rubber band? “Let’s stretch our limits and make a powerful cut!”
16. Why did the scissor invest in the stock market? Because it knew how to make strategic cuts and profits!
17. What did the scissor say to the paper shredder? “You may shred, but I’m the one who makes the final cut!”
18. Why did the scissor join the debate team? Because it knew how to make sharp arguments!
19. What did the scissor say to the wine opener? “Let’s uncork and cut loose!”
20. Why was the scissor such a success at the law firm? Because it knew how to cut through the legal jargon and get to the point!

1. Why did the scissor become a stand-up comedian? Because it always knew how to cut up an audience!
2. What did the scissor say to the lawn mower? “You may have blades, but I’m the one who can really trim things down!”
3. Why did the scissor go to the barbecue? Because it heard they were serving “cutting-edge” steaks!
4. Why was the scissor always chosen to carve the Thanksgiving turkey? Because it could always make the perfect cut!
5. What did the scissor say to the hammer? “Let’s nail this project with a precise cut!”
6. Why was the scissor so popular at the office? Because it always had a sharp sense of humor!
7. What did the scissor say to the screwdriver? “Let’s tighten things up with a clean cut!”
8. Why did the scissor win the baking contest? Because it knew how to slice through the competition!
9. Why was the scissor always invited to movie night? Because it could always “cut” to the chase!
10. What did the scissor say to the lawnmower? “I may not have blades, but I’m a cut above the rest!”
11. Why was the scissor terrible at playing cards? Because it always got “cut out” of the game!
12. What did the scissor say to the garden shears? “Let’s trim the hedges and make the yard look sharp!”
13. Why did the scissor go to the beach? Because it wanted to see if it could make a “cutting-edge” sandcastle!
14. What did the scissor say to the drill? “Let’s make a hole-in-one with a precise cut!”
15. Why was the scissor always the designated driver? Because it knew how to make the sharpest turns!
16. What did the scissor say to the paintbrush? “Let’s create a masterpiece with a precise cut!”
17. Why did the scissor join the bowling team? Because it wanted to see if it could make a perfect “cut”!
18. What did the scissor say to the tape measure? “You may measure up, but I’m the one who makes the final cut!”
19. Why did the scissor start a garden? Because it wanted to see if it could “cut” it as a gardener!
20. What did the scissor say to the woodworker? “Let’s carve out something amazing with a precise cut!”

1. Why did the scissor break up with the cheese grater? Because it felt too grated!
2. What did the scissor say to the cheese? “Let’s cut a slice of life together!”
3. Why did the scissor refuse to eat the cheese? Because it was lactose intolerant!
4. What did the scissor say to the cheese slice? “You’re looking sharp today!”
5. Why did the scissor go to the cheese factory? Because it heard they needed a cut above the rest!
6. What did the scissor say to the cheese platter? “Let’s make this party grate!”
7. Why was the scissor so good at cutting cheese? Because it was whey ahead of the competition!
8. What did the scissor say to the cheesy joke? “That’s gouda one!”
9. Why did the scissor take the cheese to the dance? Because it wanted to have a brie-lliant time!
10. What did the scissor say to the cheese lover? “Let’s make a sharp cheddar-ful day!”
11. Why did the scissor become a cheese connoisseur? Because it wanted to cut through the curd!
12. What did the scissor say to the cheesy pickup line? “You’re grate, but I’m looking for someone with more edge!”
13. Why did the scissor join the cheese club? Because it wanted to be a cut above the rest!
14. What did the scissor say to the cheese wheel? “Let’s make some slices and dice!”
15. Why did the scissor bring a cheese platter to the party? Because it wanted to cut the cheese!
16. What did the scissor say to the cheesy movie? “That’s so cheesy, it’s feta-stic!”
17. Why did the scissor invite the cheese to the picnic? Because it wanted to have a grate time outdoors!
18. What did the scissor say to the cheesy joke? “You’re making me feel gouda!”
19. Why did the scissor take the cheese to the concert? Because it wanted to have a melodious cheddar time!
20. What did the scissor say to the cheeseburger? “You’re notched up to be as sharp as me!”

Share a laugh !