240+ Robin hood jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Robin hood jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did Robin Hood open a bakery? Because he wanted to steal the dough and give it to the kneady.
  2. How did Robin Hood fix his broken bow? With a bow and arrow patch, of course!
  3. Why was Robin Hood always good at math? Because he knew how to rob Peter to pay Paul!
  4. What do you call Robin Hood’s favorite music genre? Sherwood Rock!
  5. Why did Robin Hood become an archer? Because he couldn’t find a job as a tree hugger!
  6. How did Robin Hood cheat at poker? He always had an ace up his sleeve… or in his quiver!
  7. Why was Maid Marian always by Robin Hood’s side? Because she couldn’t resist his arrow-dynamic personality!
  8. What do you get when you cross Robin Hood with a computer? An arrow-logic program!
  9. Why did Robin Hood never get lost in the forest? Because he always had a compass-rose!
  10. What did Robin Hood say to Little John when he lost his hat? “You better Robin-find it!”
  11. Why did Robin Hood refuse to play hide and seek with Friar Tuck? Because every time he hid, Tuck would “cellar” him out!
  12. Why did Robin Hood go to the doctor? Because he had an arrow-ache!
  13. How did Robin Hood propose to Maid Marian? He gave her a ring, of course, and said, “I’m Robin you of your heart!”
  14. Why did Robin Hood become an actor? Because he was a natural at “stealing” the show!
  15. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite type of tree? The one with the most “loot”!
  16. Why did Robin Hood bring a ladder to the archery competition? Because he wanted to aim higher!
  17. Why did Robin Hood refuse to play cards with the sheriff? Because he was always “decking” the halls with stolen goods!
  18. How did Robin Hood’s merry men stay in shape? They did “rob”ics every morning!
  19. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite dessert? Sherwood pudding, of course!
  20. Why was Maid Marian always cold in the forest? Because Robin Hood always had the “hoodie”!
  1. Why did Robin Hood refuse to use social media? Because he didn’t want to be tagged!
  2. What did Robin Hood say when he accidentally shot his own foot? “Looks like I’m a-sole survivor!”
  3. How does Robin Hood make his coffee? He uses his trusty bow and arrow to “espresso” himself!
  4. Why did Robin Hood never get sunburned? Because he always had his hood up!
  5. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite dance move? The arrow shuffle!
  6. Why did Robin Hood get kicked out of the library? Because he was always “borrowing” too much!
  7. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite social activity? Robbing Peter to pay Paul… and then inviting them both to dinner!
  8. How does Robin Hood keep his hair looking so good? He uses a bow and arrow as a hairbrush!
  9. Why was Robin Hood such a good cook? Because he always knew how to “spice” things up!
  10. Why did Robin Hood become a referee? Because he was an expert at calling fouls in the forest!
  11. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite bedtime story? “The Adventures of Little John and the Beanstalk”!
  12. Why did Robin Hood always carry a dictionary? Because he loved to “define” justice!
  13. How does Robin Hood pay his bills? With a little “coin” and a lot of “steal”!
  14. Why did Robin Hood never get invited to formal events? Because he always dressed in “robin” attire!
  15. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite holiday? Christmas, because he gets to play Santa and redistribute the presents!
  16. Why did Robin Hood go to the pet store? Because he wanted to adopt a little “robin”!
  17. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite movie? “Robbin’ Hood: Men in Tights”!
  18. Why did Robin Hood take up gardening? Because he wanted to see if he could “root” out corruption!
  19. What did Robin Hood say when he found out Maid Marian was a good archer? “Looks like you’re a-maid for this, Marian!”
  20. Why did Robin Hood join the circus? Because he heard they were looking for someone who could “steal” the show!

  1. Why did Robin Hood never gamble in the forest? Because he knew the stakes were too high!
  2. How did Robin Hood stay ahead of the sheriff? He always kept a “head” start!
  3. What did Robin Hood say when he invented a new arrow? “It’s right on point!”
  4. Why did Robin Hood become a beekeeper? Because he wanted to be the “hive” of justice!
  5. How does Robin Hood calculate his taxes? With a “Robin-tax” algorithm!
  6. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite type of investment? “Stocks and arrows”!
  7. Why did Robin Hood become a tailor? Because he wanted to make sure justice always “fit”!
  8. What did Robin Hood say when Little John asked him about his archery skills? “It’s not about the size of the bow, it’s how you Robin-hood it!”
  9. Why did Robin Hood never play hide and seek with Friar Tuck? Because he always “cantered” away!
  10. How does Robin Hood keep track of his arrows? He has a quiver memory!
  11. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him about their relationship? “I’ll always be your ‘bow’, Marian!”
  12. Why did Robin Hood open a bookstore? Because he wanted to “chapter” the wealth of knowledge!
  13. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite board game? “Robinopoly” – where every property is Sherwood Forest!
  14. Why did Robin Hood start a gardening club? Because he believed in the power of “robin’ roots”!
  15. What did Robin Hood say when Little John questioned his decision-making skills? “I’m just ‘hood’ at what I do!”
  16. Why did Robin Hood become a locksmith? Because he knew the key to justice was in his hands!
  17. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite dessert? “Robbin’ Hood Sundae” – it’s a steal of a treat!
  18. Why did Robin Hood become a teacher? Because he wanted to “arch” his wisdom!
  19. What did Robin Hood say when he was asked about his favorite bird? “The ‘robin’ is always close to my heart!”
  20. Why did Robin Hood become a musician? Because he knew how to “fiddle” with the hearts of the wealthy!
  1. Why did Robin Hood bring a ladder to the archery contest? He wanted to aim higher!
  2. How did Robin Hood find his way in the forest? He followed the “arrow” signs!
  3. Why did Robin Hood open a bakery? He wanted to make “dough” for the poor!
  4. What did Robin Hood say when he found Friar Tuck’s secret stash of ale? “Looks like we’ve hit the ‘brewty’ jackpot!”
  5. Why was Robin Hood always calm during battles? Because he had an arrow-zenal approach!
  6. How did Robin Hood catch fish in the forest streams? He used “bow” and arrow fishing!
  7. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite type of music? Sherwood rock!
  8. Why did Robin Hood refuse to play cards with Little John? Because he always “dealt” with the situation!
  9. How does Robin Hood like his eggs? Stolen from the rich and scrambled!
  10. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him if he was a good archer? “I’m a-bow-t average!”
  11. Why did Robin Hood become a tailor? He wanted to “alter” the course of fashion!
  12. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite type of tree? The one that grows “cash”ews!
  13. How does Robin Hood stay in shape? He practices “rob”ics every day!
  14. Why did Robin Hood go to the doctor? He had an arrow-ache!
  15. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite part of the day? High noon, when the sun shines on Sherwood Forest!
  16. Why did Robin Hood never get lost in the forest? He had a natural “compass”!
  17. What did Robin Hood say when Little John challenged him to an archery contest? “Challenge accepted, but I’m calling ‘bull’s-eye’!”
  18. Why did Robin Hood bring a quill to the archery competition? He wanted to “pen” his victory!
  19. How did Robin Hood win the dance competition? He had the best “arrow-bics”!
  20. What did Robin Hood say to Maid Marian when he proposed? “I’m a-rob-in love with you!”

  1. Why did Robin Hood never get invited to play cards with the sheriff? Well, let me tell you the tale. One day, Robin Hood received an invitation from the sheriff of Nottingham to join him for a friendly game of cards. Robin, being Robin, couldn’t resist the opportunity to outwit the sheriff at his own game. So, he accepted the invitation and arrived at the sheriff’s castle with his merry men in tow. As they sat down to play, Robin noticed something peculiar about the deck of cards the sheriff was using. It seemed as though the cards were marked, giving the sheriff an unfair advantage. Being the noble outlaw that he was, Robin couldn’t stand for such deceitful behavior. So, he devised a clever plan to level the playing field. With the help of his trusty bow and arrow, Robin discreetly swapped out the marked cards for a fair deck that he had brought along with him. Needless to say, the sheriff was none the wiser as Robin proceeded to win hand after hand, much to the amusement of his merry men. And that, my friends, is why Robin Hood never got invited to play cards with the sheriff again!
  2. How did Robin Hood manage to outsmart the greedy tax collector? Gather ’round, for I shall regale you with the tale of Robin Hood’s cunning escapade. It all started one sunny day in Sherwood Forest when the notorious tax collector, known for his insatiable greed, came knocking on the doors of the poor villagers. Determined to line his pockets with every last penny, the tax collector demanded exorbitant sums from those who could scarcely afford to pay. But Robin Hood, ever the champion of the downtrodden, couldn’t stand idly by and watch his fellow villagers suffer. So, he devised a brilliant plan to outwit the tax collector and reclaim the stolen riches. With the help of his merry men, Robin orchestrated a series of elaborate ruses to distract the tax collector while they secretly confiscated the ill-gotten gains. They used decoys, disguises, and even a bit of magic to outmaneuver the bumbling tax collector at every turn. And when the dust finally settled, Robin Hood emerged victorious, returning the stolen wealth to its rightful owners and teaching the tax collector a valuable lesson about greed and justice. And that, my friends, is how Robin Hood managed to outsmart the greedy tax collector!
  3. Why did Robin Hood decide to host a grand feast in Sherwood Forest? Ah, my friends, let me spin you a tale of merriment and revelry in the heart of Sherwood Forest. It all began one fine day when Robin Hood, feeling particularly generous, decided to host a grand feast for the poor villagers of Nottingham. With the help of his merry men, Robin set out to gather the finest ingredients and prepare a lavish banquet fit for a king. They hunted deer, caught fish, and foraged for wild berries, all while dodging the watchful eyes of the sheriff’s men. As the aroma of roasting meat and simmering stew filled the air, the villagers began to gather in the clearing, their hearts brimming with anticipation. And when the feast was finally ready, Robin Hood and his merry men welcomed the hungry crowd with open arms, serving up plate after plate of delicious food and drink. There was laughter, music, and dancing late into the night as the villagers reveled in the joy of the occasion. And as they feasted under the twinkling stars, they couldn’t help but feel grateful for the kindness and generosity of their beloved outlaw hero. And so, my friends, that is why Robin Hood decided to host a grand feast in Sherwood Forest!
  4. What happened when Robin Hood encountered a mischievous band of forest imps? Allow me to transport you to the enchanting realm of Sherwood Forest, where the legendary outlaw Robin Hood once roamed. One day, as Robin and his merry men were traversing the wooded glades, they stumbled upon a curious sight – a troupe of mischievous forest imps frolicking among the trees. Now, these imps were known far and wide for their playful antics and their penchant for causing trouble wherever they went. But Robin Hood, ever the cunning strategist, saw an opportunity to turn the tables on the mischievous creatures. With a twinkle in his eye and a sly grin upon his lips, Robin challenged the imps to a game of wits, promising them a reward if they could outsmart him. The imps, never ones to back down from a challenge, eagerly accepted, confident in their ability to outmaneuver the legendary outlaw. And so, the game began – a series of riddles, puzzles, and clever challenges designed to test the wit and cunning of both parties. But try as they might, the imps were no match for the quick thinking and sharp intellect of Robin Hood and his merry men. With each challenge they faced, Robin and his companions proved themselves to be masters of strategy and cunning, outwitting the imps at every turn. And when the final challenge was won, Robin graciously rewarded the imps with a feast fit for kings, earning their respect and admiration for all time. And that, my friends, is what happened when Robin Hood encountered a mischievous band of forest imps!
  5. How did Robin Hood manage to retrieve the stolen golden crown from the clutches of the wicked king? Picture this – a daring escapade through the treacherous corridors of Nottingham Castle, a showdown with the villainous sheriff, and a race against time to reclaim the stolen treasure. It all began when Robin Hood received word that the wicked king had stolen the golden crown from the kingdom’s treasury and hidden it away in his fortress. Determined to right this egregious wrong, Robin rallied his merry men and set out on a perilous quest to retrieve the stolen crown and restore it to its rightful place. Along the way, they encountered countless obstacles and faced numerous challenges, from cunning traps to fierce adversaries. But through courage, cunning, and a bit of luck, they managed to infiltrate the castle, evade the king’s guards, and confront the treacherous monarch himself. And in a dramatic showdown that would go down in legend, Robin Hood and his merry men emerged victorious, wresting the stolen crown from the king’s grasp and returning it to its rightful owners. And as they rode triumphantly back to Sherwood Forest, the people hailed them as heroes, forever grateful for their bravery and sacrifice. And that, my friends, is how Robin Hood managed to retrieve the stolen golden crown from the clutches of the wicked king!
  1. Why did Robin Hood use a bow and arrow? Because he wanted to “aim” for justice!
  2. How did Robin Hood pay for his arrows? He used his “quiver” of fortune!
  3. Why did Robin Hood take his friends to the bakery? Because he wanted to show them how to make “dough” for the poor!
  4. What did Robin Hood say to Little John when they played hide and seek? “You can’t ‘cloak’ yourself from justice!”
  5. Why did Robin Hood bring a map to the forest? Because he didn’t want to get “lost” in the fun!
  6. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite game? “Robinopoly” – where you collect arrows instead of properties!
  7. Why did Robin Hood become a teacher? Because he wanted to teach his students how to “arch” their goals!
  8. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him if he was a good cook? “I’m a-roast to impress!”
  9. How did Robin Hood make his hat? He sewed it together with pieces of “hoodie” fabric!
  10. Why did Robin Hood become a musician? Because he knew how to “fiddle” with the strings of justice!
  11. What did Robin Hood say when he found a squirrel stealing nuts from his stash? “Looks like someone’s trying to out-‘squirrel’ me!”
  12. Why did Robin Hood bring a shield to the archery contest? Because he wanted to protect his “reputation”!
  13. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite animal? The “robin” bird, of course!
  14. Why did Robin Hood become a gardener? Because he believed in the power of “robin’ roots”!
  15. What did Robin Hood say when Little John asked him about his favorite food? “Anything that’s ‘stolen’ from the rich and shared with the poor!”
  16. Why did Robin Hood refuse to play with the sheriff’s kids? Because they always “arrested” the fun!
  17. How does Robin Hood organize his arrows? He categorizes them by “target” and “purpose”!
  18. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian told him he was too serious? “I’m just trying to keep a ‘straight arrow’!”
  19. Why did Robin Hood take his bow to the carnival? Because he wanted to “arrow” some prizes!
  20. What did Robin Hood say when Little John asked him about his favorite bedtime story? “The tale of ‘Robin Hood and the Golden Arrow’!”

  1. Why did Robin Hood refuse to join the archery club? He heard they had a strict “no robbing” policy!
  2. How did Robin Hood afford his lavish lifestyle? He had a “targeted” approach to wealth redistribution!
  3. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him about his romantic prowess? “I can shoot straight to the heart!”
  4. Why did Robin Hood always bring a spare quiver to parties? In case he needed to “reload” on drinks!
  5. What did Robin Hood say when he saw Maid Marian’s new dress? “Looks like someone’s been shopping in the ‘rich’ district!”
  6. Why did Robin Hood become a barber? Because he knew how to “trim” the excess from the wealthy!
  7. What did Robin Hood say when he saw the sheriff’s new mansion? “I guess crime does pay… for some people!”
  8. Why did Robin Hood become a motivational speaker? Because he knew how to “arrow” in on success!
  9. What did Robin Hood say when Little John questioned his leadership skills? “I may not be perfect, but I always hit the ‘bull’s-eye’!”
  10. Why did Robin Hood start a cooking show? He wanted to teach people how to “steal” the show in the kitchen!
  11. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him about his hobbies? “I enjoy long walks in the forest, archery, and ‘robbing’ the rich of course!”
  12. Why did Robin Hood join the gym? He wanted to work on his “arrow” dynamics!
  13. What did Robin Hood say when Friar Tuck asked him about his philosophy? “I believe in equal distribution of ale and arrows!”
  14. Why did Robin Hood start a vineyard? He wanted to create wines that were as bold and smooth as his archery skills!
  15. What did Robin Hood say when he saw the sheriff’s tax returns? “Looks like someone’s been ‘robbin’ the people blind!”
  16. Why did Robin Hood become a fashion designer? He wanted to make sure everyone had access to “hood” couture!
  17. What did Robin Hood say when he saw Maid Marian’s new jewelry? “I hope it’s insured, because I’m tempted to ‘liberate’ it!”
  18. Why did Robin Hood write a book? He wanted to share his secrets for successful “wealth redistribution”!
  19. What did Robin Hood say when Little John asked him about retirement plans? “I’ll retire when there’s no more injustice left to ‘target’!”
  20. Why did Robin Hood start a technology company? He believed in disrupting the status quo with his “arrow-paced” innovations!
  1. Why did Robin Hood refuse to play cards with the Merry Men? Because he always ended up giving away his hearts!
  2. What did Robin Hood say when he found a bow that wasn’t his? “Well, this is a shafty situation.”
  3. How did Robin Hood fix his broken arrow? With a bow-tie!
  4. Why did Robin Hood become an archer? Because he didn’t want to “quiver” in fear!
  5. What’s Robin Hood’s favorite type of music? Robyn Hood and the Merry Tunes!
  6. Why did Robin Hood start robbing from the rich? Because he heard they had a wealth of opportunities!
  7. What did Robin Hood say to Maid Marian when she asked why he always wore green? “It’s just my way of camouflaguing my intentions.”
  8. Why did Robin Hood get into gardening? Because he wanted to “seed” justice!
  9. How did Robin Hood pay for his new bow? With his “arrow” budget!
  10. Why did Robin Hood become a baker? Because he wanted to make some “just-dough” for the poor!
  11. What did Robin Hood say to Little John when he couldn’t find his favorite arrow? “Looks like we’re in a bit of a sticky quiver-y!”
  12. Why did Robin Hood take up woodworking? Because he wanted to “carve” out a better future for Nottingham!
  13. What did Robin Hood say when he stumbled upon a pot of gold? “Guess it’s time for some redistribution of wealth!”
  14. Why did Robin Hood never get lost in the forest? Because he always followed the “arrows” pointing the way!
  15. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him about his archery skills? “I’m just drawn that way!”
  16. Why did Robin Hood switch to wearing tights? Because they gave him a better “leg-up” during his heists!
  17. What did Robin Hood say when Little John asked him how he felt about stealing from the rich? “It’s a real ‘robust’ activity!”
  18. Why did Robin Hood open a restaurant? Because he wanted to serve justice with a side of fries!
  19. What did Robin Hood say when Friar Tuck asked him why he always took from the rich? “It’s just my ‘lawn’ and ‘order’.”
  20. Why did Robin Hood refuse to eat cereal for breakfast? Because he didn’t want to start his day with a “cereal” offense!

  1. Why did Robin Hood always carry a quiver? Because he wanted to be “arrow” dynamic!
  2. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him to go for a walk? “Sure, I’m always up for a little ‘forest’ stroll!”
  3. How did Robin Hood describe his archery skills? “They’re ‘bow’-tiful, just like Maid Marian!”
  4. What did Robin Hood say when Little John challenged him to a duel? “Alright, but prepare to be ‘quivered’ with fear!”
  5. Why did Robin Hood become a vegetarian? Because he wanted to “lettuce” live in peace!
  6. What did Robin Hood say when he found a gold coin? “Looks like I’ve hit the jackpot of ‘riches’!”
  7. How did Robin Hood respond when asked about his favorite bird? “Definitely the ‘robins,’ they’re always in ‘hoods’!”
  8. Why did Robin Hood bring his bow to the party? Because he heard there would be some “bow-tiful” ladies!
  9. What did Robin Hood say when Friar Tuck asked him to help with the cooking? “Sure thing, I’m an expert at ‘robin’ the stove!”
  10. Why did Robin Hood refuse to play hide and seek with the Merry Men? Because he always found himself “robbin’ in plain sight”!
  11. How did Robin Hood describe his fashion sense? “I’m all about that ‘green’ style, it’s quite ‘hood’!”
  12. What did Robin Hood say when Little John asked him how he stayed in shape? “Oh, you know, just a lot of ‘bow’ flexing and arrow-robics!”
  13. Why did Robin Hood start a band? Because he wanted to make some “robust” tunes for the forest!
  14. What did Robin Hood say when Maid Marian asked him to fix the leaky roof? “Don’t worry, I’ll patch it up with some ‘stolen’ shingles!”
  15. How did Robin Hood respond when asked about his favorite movie? “‘Robbin’ Hood: Prince of Cheese,” of course!”
  16. Why did Robin Hood bring his guitar to the campfire? Because he wanted to strum some “robust” melodies under the stars!
  17. What did Robin Hood say when someone complimented his haircut? “Thanks, I got it done at the ‘robbery’ salon!”
  18. Why did Robin Hood refuse to join the circus? Because he didn’t want to be known as the “acro-bat” of Nottingham!
  19. What did Robin Hood say when Little John asked him about his cooking skills? “I’m not just good with a bow, I’m also a ‘quiver’ in the kitchen!”
  20. Why did Robin Hood become a comedian? Because he loved making people “quiver” with laughter!

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