Share a laugh !

1. Why did the roadkill go to school? Because it wanted to learn how to cross the road safely!
2. What did the roadkill say to the car? “You really flattened my day!”
3. Why don’t roadkill ever win arguments? Because they always end up getting flattened!
4. What’s a roadkill’s favorite game? Flat-tennis!
5. How do roadkill prefer their steak? Well-done… by passing cars!
6. Why did the roadkill bring a ladder? To get to the other side of the road, of course!
7. What did the roadkill say to the tire? “You’re driving me flat out crazy!”
8. Why don’t roadkill ever make good spies? Because they always leave a flattened trail!
9. What’s a roadkill’s favorite movie genre? “Squash-bucklers”!
10. Why did the roadkill bring a suitcase? Because it was ready to embark on a journey across the road!
11. What do you call a roadkill who’s great at math? A “cal-CAR-lator”!
12. Why did the roadkill start a band? Because it wanted to make some “tire”-riffic music!
13. What did one roadkill say to the other? “We should’ve looked both ways before crossing!”
14. What’s a roadkill’s favorite dance move? The “splat-shuffle”!
15. Why did the roadkill become a comedian? Because it had a knack for “flattening” jokes!
16. What did the roadkill do at the party? It “road” the dance floor until it was flattened!
17. Why don’t roadkill ever get invited to dinner parties? Because they always end up as the main course!
18. What’s a roadkill’s favorite song? “Hit the Road, Jack”!
19. Why did the roadkill bring a map? To navigate its way through the dangers of the road!
20. What did the roadkill say to the ambulance? “I’m already road-dead, you’re a bit late!”

1. Why did the roadkill refuse to play hide and seek? Because it was always easy to find, lying flat on the road!
2. What did the roadkill say to its friends? “I’m feeling a little flat today!”
3. Why don’t roadkill ever make good chefs? Because they always end up as “flat-breads”!
4. What’s a roadkill’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Misfortune”!
5. Why was the roadkill always invited to parties? Because it knew how to “break the ice” with its flat humor!
6. What do you call a roadkill who’s an expert at karate? “Squash-chop”!
7. Why did the roadkill become a musician? Because it had a talent for playing “road”-ies!
8. What did the roadkill say to the pancake? “I see you’ve had a flattening experience too!”
9. Why did the roadkill go to therapy? Because it had a lot of “road rage” issues!
10. What do you get when you cross roadkill with a comedian? Flat-out hilarious jokes!
11. Why don’t roadkill ever win at poker? Because they always end up with a “flat” hand!
12. What did the roadkill say to the truck? “You really ran over me with that joke!”
13. Why did the roadkill start a blog? Because it wanted to share its “flattening” experiences with the world!
14. What’s a roadkill’s favorite holiday destination? The “Dead-Sea”!
15. Why did the roadkill bring a camera? To capture the moment of its flattening for its family album!
16. What did the roadkill say to the skunk? “You think you’ve got a bad smell? You should try being flattened!”
17. Why did the roadkill join a gym? To work on its “road-crossing” skills!
18. What’s a roadkill’s favorite board game? “Flat-opoly”!
19. Why don’t roadkill ever become astronauts? Because they’re already experts at “space”-travelling!
20. What did the roadkill say to the taxi driver? “Can you take me to the nearest flat-tire repair shop?”

1. Why did the roadkill open a bakery? Because it knew how to turn “flat” jokes into “punny” pastries!
2. What did the roadkill say to the deer crossing sign? “You should’ve warned me about the cars, too!”
3. Why don’t roadkill ever become marathon runners? Because they’re always too “tired” to cross the finish line!
4. What’s a roadkill’s favorite subject in school? “Flat-ematics”!
5. Why did the roadkill start a podcast? Because it had a lot of “splat-tastic” stories to share!
6. What do you call a roadkill who’s also a philosopher? A “pavement” thinker!
7. Why was the roadkill always picked last for sports teams? Because it had a reputation for “dropping” the ball!
8. What did the roadkill say to the squirrel? “I bet you never thought you’d see me “flat”-tering myself!”
9. Why did the roadkill become an artist? Because it knew how to turn tragedy into “street” art!
10. What’s a roadkill’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Romeo and Juliet: The Tragic Tale of Two Flattened Lovers”!
11. Why don’t roadkill ever win at chess? Because they always end up getting “check-flatted”!
12. What did the roadkill say to the ambulance driver? “I guess you could say I’m in a ‘flat’ emergency!”
13. Why did the roadkill start a landscaping business? Because it knew how to “flatten” out rough patches of grass!
14. What’s a roadkill’s favorite type of music? “Splat-rock”!
15. Why did the roadkill become a detective? Because it had a nose for “flattening” the truth!
16. What did the roadkill say to the deer? “You should’ve stuck to the sidewalks like me!”
17. Why don’t roadkill ever make good actors? Because they always forget their lines after being flattened!
18. What’s a roadkill’s favorite movie? “The Fast and the Flattened”!
19. Why did the roadkill start a fashion line? Because it knew how to “flatten” the competition!
20. What did the roadkill say to the traffic light? “You really know how to ‘stop’ me in my tracks!”

1. Why did the roadkill bring a ladder? To raise its spirits after being flattened!
2. What did the roadkill say to the squirrel? “You’re nuts if you think I’m crossing that road again!”
3. Why don’t roadkill ever get lost? Because they always end up on the same street!
4. What do you call a roadkill who’s good at math? “Cal-cAR-lator”!
5. Why did the roadkill bring a map? To navigate its way through life’s “flattening” experiences!
6. What did the roadkill say to the deer? “Looks like we both underestimated the speed limit!”
7. Why did the roadkill start a band? Because it had a talent for making “tire”-riffic music!
8. What’s a roadkill’s favorite movie? “The Flattening of the Shrew”!
9. Why don’t roadkill ever win at poker? Because they always end up with a “flat” hand!
10. What did the roadkill say to the skunk? “You think you’ve got a bad smell? Try being flattened!”
11. Why did the roadkill become a comedian? Because it had a knack for “flattening” jokes!
12. What’s a roadkill’s favorite game? “Flat-tennis”!
13. Why was the roadkill always invited to parties? Because it knew how to “break the ice” with its flat humor!
14. What did one roadkill say to the other? “We should’ve looked both ways before crossing!”
15. Why don’t roadkill ever make good chefs? Because they always end up as “flat-breads”!
16. What’s a roadkill’s favorite dance move? The “splat-shuffle”!
17. Why did the roadkill start a blog? To share its “flattening” experiences with the world!
18. What did the roadkill say to the taxi driver? “Can you take me to the nearest flat-tire repair shop?”
19. Why did the roadkill go to therapy? Because it had a lot of “road rage” issues!
20. What did the roadkill say to the ambulance? “I’m already road-dead, you’re a bit late!”

1. Why did the roadkill bring a briefcase to the meeting? Because it wanted to present its case of how it met its end!
2. What did the roadkill say when it got a job as a crossing guard? “Finally, a job where I can safely guide others away from my fate!”
3. Why was the roadkill always the best at hide and seek? Because it could blend in perfectly with the asphalt!
4. What do you call a roadkill’s favorite music genre? Splat-rock!
5. Why don’t roadkills ever win arguments? Because they always end up getting flattened in the debate!
6. How did the roadkill win the marathon? It crossed the finish line without even moving a muscle!
7. Why don’t roadkills ever go to school? Because they’re always getting flattened by the bus!
8. What’s a roadkill’s favorite movie? “Flatliners!”
9. Why did the roadkill break up with its girlfriend? Because she said their relationship was going nowhere, and it took it too literally!
10. How does a roadkill order its coffee? Flat, with a side of tire tracks!
11. Why did the roadkill go to therapy? Because it needed help processing its life’s ups and downs…mostly downs!
12. What’s a roadkill’s favorite sport? Dodge-car!
13. Why did the roadkill get a job as a mattress tester? Because it was already an expert in being flat!
14. What’s a roadkill’s favorite holiday? Pancake Day!
15. Why did the roadkill go to the art gallery? Because it heard they were featuring some “smashing” works!
16. How does a roadkill sign its name? With a squiggle and a splat!
17. Why did the roadkill start a band? Because it wanted to show the world that even flat things can make some noise!
18. What did the roadkill say to the chicken crossing the road? “Watch out for the car, you’re next!”
19. Why don’t roadkills ever play cards? Because they’re always getting dealt a bad hand!
20. What’s a roadkill’s favorite board game? “Flattened Mouse Trap!”

1. Why did the roadkill bring a backpack to school? Because it wanted to make sure it had all its “guts” with it!
2. What did the roadkill say to its mom? “I promise I won’t play in the street anymore, Mom. I’ve learned my lesson…the hard way!”
3. How does a roadkill get to school? It hops on the school bus, but it never makes it to the next stop!
4. What’s a roadkill’s favorite subject in school? Squash-ed Science!
5. Why was the roadkill always late to class? Because it kept getting stuck in traffic…literally!
6. Why did the roadkill refuse to do its homework? Because it claimed it already had enough “deadlines” in its life!
7. How did the roadkill do on its spelling test? It aced it! After all, it’s used to spelling things out on the pavement!
8. What did the roadkill say during show and tell? “This is the spot where I met my untimely demise…any questions?”
9. Why did the roadkill get sent to the principal’s office? Because it was caught playing ‘possum’ in class!
10. What’s a roadkill’s favorite lunchtime snack? Flatbread sandwiches!
11. Why did the roadkill get detention? Because it kept crossing the line…literally!
12. How does a roadkill study for exams? It tries to absorb the material through osmosis…but ends up just getting flattened!
13. Why don’t roadkills ever join the track team? Because they always get disqualified for taking shortcuts!
14. What did the roadkill say when it got a bad grade on its report card? “Well, at least I’m still at the top of the food chain…literally!”
15. Why was the roadkill always the last picked for sports teams? Because it never had the guts to compete!
16. What’s a roadkill’s favorite playground game? Dodge-the-car!
17. Why did the roadkill bring a map to school? Because it heard it was important to know where you’re going…especially if you’re prone to getting squished!
18. How did the roadkill get its lunch money? It just waits for someone to drop some coins as they drive by!
19. What did the roadkill say when asked about its favorite subject? “Anatomy…I’ve learned a lot about it firsthand!”
20. Why don’t roadkills ever raise their hands in class? Because they’re always afraid they might lose one!

1. Why did the roadkill refuse to play poker? Because it was tired of getting flattened by a full house!
2. What did the roadkill say to the chicken crossing the road? “Move over, you’re hogging my spotlight!”
3. Why don’t roadkill ever win at hide and seek? Because they always stick out like a sore thumb!
4. What did the squirrel say to the roadkill? “Looks like you didn’t make it to the other side.”
5. Why did the roadkill become a stand-up comedian? Because it had a knack for getting the crowd rolling!
6. Why did the roadkill bring a ladder? To reach new heights in its afterlife!
7. What did the roadkill say to the tire? “I’m tired of being run over by your antics!”
8. Why was the roadkill so bad at relationships? It always ended up getting ghosted!
9. Why did the roadkill get invited to all the parties? Because it knew how to make an entrance!
10. What did the roadkill order at the restaurant? The “flat-iron” steak, of course!
11. Why don’t roadkill ever go to the gym? Because they’re already experts at getting flattened!
12. What’s a roadkill’s favorite movie genre? Squish and flick!
13. Why did the roadkill cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
14. What did the roadkill say to the raccoon? “Stop trying to steal my thunder!”
15. Why was the roadkill such a great dancer? It had some killer moves!
16. What’s a roadkill’s favorite holiday? Halloween, of course! It finally gets to blend in!
17. Why did the roadkill start a band? Because it wanted to make some “flat” notes!
18. What did the roadkill say when it was asked about its future plans? “Just trying to stay grounded.”
19. Why don’t roadkill ever make good chefs? Because they always end up overcooked!
20. What did the roadkill say to the possum? “Looks like you’ve been playing possum a little too well!”

1. Why did the roadkill go to school? Because it wanted to be a “flat”-tery teacher.
2. What did the roadkill say to its friends? “I’m just trying to stay grounded.”
3. Why did the roadkill bring a map? To find the fastest route to the other side.
4. What do you call a roadkill’s favorite game? “Splat”-s and ladders.
5. Why don’t roadkills play hide and seek? Because they always get caught “flat”-footed.
6. What did the roadkill say to the car? “You really ran over my feelings.”
7. Why did the roadkill cross the road twice? To prove it wasn’t “squoosh”-y.
8. Why don’t roadkills make good musicians? Because they can’t hold a note, they’re too “flattened”.
9. What’s a roadkill’s favorite TV show? “The Walking Dead” because it feels represented.
10. Why did the roadkill go to therapy? Because it was feeling “crushed” emotionally.
11. What did one roadkill say to another? “We’ve really hit rock bottom.”
12. Why don’t roadkills need a diet? Because they’re already “flat”-tastic.
13. Why was the roadkill invited to the party? Because it always knows how to “liven” up the mood.
14. What did the roadkill say to the chef? “I prefer my meals without tire tracks, please.”
15. Why did the roadkill get a job as a speed bump? Because it wanted a career with “ups” and downs.
16. What did the roadkill order at the restaurant? The “pan-flatten” cake.
17. Why was the roadkill a terrible comedian? Because its jokes always “fell” flat.
18. Why did the roadkill bring a pillow to the party? To cushion the blow of rejection.
19. What do you call a roadkill’s autobiography? “The Bumpy Road of Life.”
20. Why did the roadkill go to the gym? To work on its “flat”ulence.

1. Why did the roadkill go to school? To get a little more “squash-ification!”
2. What do you call a roadkill’s favorite TV show? “The Walking Dead-Possum Edition!”
3. Why did the roadkill bring a ladder? To reach new heights in “flattening the competition!”
4. What did the roadkill say to the squirrel? “Sorry, I’m a bit ‘tired’ of your antics!”
5. Why don’t roadkills ever play hide and seek? Because they always get caught ‘playing dead’!
6. What did one roadkill say to the other? “I heard we’re paving the way to stardom!”
7. Why did the roadkill bring a suitcase? Because it was on a ‘journey’ to become a ‘flat’ world traveler!
8. How did the roadkill become an expert dancer? By perfecting the “Splat Dance”!
9. Why did the chicken cross the roadkill? To prove it wasn’t ‘chicken’ to face the consequences!
10. What did the roadkill write on its job application? “Experience in ‘crossing’ various career paths!”
11. Why did the roadkill apply for a job in a bakery? Because it wanted to be a ‘roll’ model!
12. How did the roadkill ace the job interview? By showing off its ‘flattening’ charm!
13. Why don’t roadkills ever get lost? Because they always follow the ‘scent’ of the road!
14. What’s a roadkill’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Flattening!”
15. Why did the roadkill become a detective? Because it had a knack for solving ‘puzzling’ mysteries!
16. What did the roadkill say to the tire? “You’ve ‘rolled’ over me for the last time!”
17. Why did the roadkill go to the concert? To experience the ultimate ‘smash hit’!
18. What did the roadkill aspire to be when it grew up? A ‘road’ scholar!
19. Why did the roadkill get a trophy? For its outstanding performance in ‘cross-country’!
20. What’s a roadkill’s favorite game? ‘Frogger’ – because it’s the ultimate ‘crossing’ challenge!

Share a laugh !