240+ Ptsd jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Ptsd jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the soldier bring a ladder to therapy? To get over his PTSD.
  2. What do you call a superhero with PTSD? Captain Flashback.
  3. Why don’t PTSD sufferers ever play hide and seek? Because their triggers find them every time.
  4. Why did the PTSD sufferer start a gardening business? They wanted to find a new way to deal with their roots.
  5. What did the PTSD sufferer say to the ghost? “I have enough haunting memories already.”
  6. Why did the PTSD sufferer take up stand-up comedy? To laugh off their nightmares.
  7. How do you comfort a computer with PTSD? You give it plenty of RAM to remember it’s safe now.
  8. Why did the PTSD sufferer become a locksmith? To learn how to unlock their mind’s safe place.
  9. Why did the PTSD sufferer join a band? To find some harmony in the chaos.
  10. What do you call a cat with PTSD? A scaredy-cat with flashbacks.
  11. Why did the PTSD sufferer refuse to become an astronaut? Because space isn’t the final frontier, their mind is.
  12. Why do PTSD sufferers love watching mystery movies? Because they understand the plot twists of the mind.
  13. Why did the PTSD sufferer take up painting? To add some color to their black-and-white world.
  14. What do PTSD and bad Wi-Fi have in common? They both make you relive frustrating moments over and over again.
  15. Why did the PTSD sufferer become a chef? To find comfort in making something from scratch.
  16. What’s a PTSD sufferer’s favorite type of exercise? Mindful walking, because they’re already running from their thoughts.
  17. Why did the PTSD sufferer refuse to play Monopoly? Too many flashbacks to being sent to jail.
  18. Why don’t PTSD sufferers play poker? They already have enough bad hands to deal with.
  19. Why did the PTSD sufferer go to the library? To find a book that doesn’t bring back memories.
  20. Why did the PTSD sufferer start a podcast? To talk through the echoes in their mind.
  1. Why did the PTSD patient become a gardener? Because they wanted to grow a little peace of mind!
  2. Why don’t PTSD patients play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding from flashbacks!
  3. What do you call a PTSD patient who loves parties? A flashback to the future!
  4. Why did the PTSD patient start a detective agency? Because they were experts at revisiting old scenes!
  5. Why did the PTSD patient bring a ladder to therapy? To reach new heights of healing!
  6. Why did the PTSD patient refuse to go camping? Too many intense-tents!
  7. Why don’t PTSD patients make good time travelers? They’re already pros at reliving the past!
  8. What did the PTSD patient say to the relaxation coach? “I’m trying, but my past keeps RSVP-ing!”
  9. Why did the PTSD patient become a comedian? To find the humor in their triggers!
  10. Why did the PTSD patient bring an umbrella to therapy? To weather the emotional storms!
  11. Why do PTSD patients avoid watching horror movies? They already have enough jump scares in their minds!
  12. Why did the PTSD patient always carry a flashlight? To navigate the darkest memories!
  13. Why did the PTSD patient take up yoga? To stretch beyond their comfort zone!
  14. Why don’t PTSD patients play cards? They’ve already mastered dealing with anxiety!
  15. Why did the PTSD patient join an improv class? To learn how to react to unexpected triggers!
  16. Why did the PTSD patient become a chef? To cook up some positive experiences!
  17. Why don’t PTSD patients like surprises? Because their minds are already a Pandora’s box!
  18. What’s a PTSD patient’s favorite type of exercise? Running from their thoughts!
  19. Why did the PTSD patient start a blog? To write their way out of the past!
  20. Why did the PTSD patient love puzzles? Because they’re experts at putting the pieces of their mind back together!

  1. Why did the PTSD patient bring a ladder to therapy? To reach new heights of recovery.
  2. PTSD walked into a bar and ordered a memory eraser. The bartender said, “On the house, it’s called time.”
  3. Why did the PTSD sufferer start a podcast? They wanted to talk through their trauma in stereo.
  4. PTSD is like a bad roommate—it keeps you up all night and never pays rent.
  5. What’s PTSD’s favorite type of music? Trigger warnings.
  6. Why did the PTSD patient take up gardening? To plant seeds of resilience and watch them grow.
  7. PTSD and anxiety walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a special on deep breaths.”
  8. What do you get when PTSD goes on vacation? Flashback Fridays on the beach.
  9. Why did PTSD apply for a job? It needed some closure.
  10. How does PTSD get around town? In a flashback cab.
  11. Why was the PTSD patient always cold? They couldn’t escape their chills.
  12. Why did the PTSD sufferer write a book? They wanted to turn their pages of pain into chapters of strength.
  13. How does PTSD order its coffee? With extra calm and no triggers.
  14. Why did PTSD join a support group? To find others who could relate to its story.
  15. PTSD is like a bad ex—it shows up uninvited and leaves you feeling unsettled.
  16. Why did PTSD go to the comedy club? To learn how to cope with punchlines instead of punches.
  17. How does PTSD measure time? In flashbacks per minute.
  18. What’s PTSD’s favorite exercise? Running from memories but trying to embrace mindfulness.
  19. Why did the PTSD patient become an artist? To paint over their painful past with strokes of healing.
  20. What’s PTSD’s least favorite game? Memory lane.
  1. Why did the PTSD patient become a chef? To turn their flashbacks into flash-frybacks.
  2. PTSD walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” PTSD replies, “You wouldn’t understand.”
  3. Why did PTSD start a band? To make some noise about its triggers.
  4. PTSD joined a gym. Now it’s lifting the weight of its past.
  5. How does PTSD enjoy the ocean? With waves of caution.
  6. Why did PTSD visit a museum? To find art that speaks to its struggles.
  7. What does PTSD order at a cafe? A latte with a shot of serenity.
  8. Why did PTSD go to school? To learn coping mechanisms.
  9. How does PTSD handle stress? With a lot of therapy.
  10. PTSD entered a marathon. It’s running from memories, not medals.
  11. Why did PTSD get a dog? For unconditional comfort.
  12. How does PTSD deal with bad days? One step at a time.
  13. Why did PTSD take up painting? To color over the gray areas.
  14. What’s PTSD’s favorite holiday? New Year’s, for fresh starts.
  15. How does PTSD like its books? Full of survival stories.
  16. Why did PTSD join a book club? To read between the lines of its emotions.
  17. How does PTSD keep its house? With memories boxed up neatly.
  18. Why did PTSD start a blog? To write its way to recovery.
  19. How does PTSD enjoy nature? One mindful moment at a time.
  20. Why did PTSD take up knitting? To weave its way through the knots of the past.

  1. Why did the PTSD chicken cross the road? To escape the flashbacks from the other side.
  2. I told my PTSD to take a vacation, but it came back with more luggage than it left with!
  3. PTSD walked into a bar and said, “I’ll have what I’m not remembering.”
  4. What do you call a detective with PTSD? A private eye who can’t forget the past.
  5. Why did the PTSD therapist open a bakery? To help people find comfort in doughnuts.
  6. My PTSD and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves to hate me, and I just try to get along.
  7. Why did the PTSD musician become a percussionist? Because every drumbeat was a therapeutic thump!
  8. I tried to tell my PTSD a joke, but it kept interrupting with traumatic punchlines.
  9. How does PTSD celebrate Halloween? By dressing up as its worst fears and scaring itself.
  10. My PTSD and I went to a comedy show. It laughed at the trauma jokes; I laughed at the trauma.
  11. Why did the PTSD poet write haikus? Short, concise, and they got the memories out quickly.
  12. What’s a PTSD sufferer’s favorite genre of music? Heavy metal – because it drowns out the noise inside.
  13. I asked my PTSD to join a book club, but it refused – said it had enough drama in its life.
  14. Why did the PTSD patient join a choir? To harmonize the chaos in their mind.
  15. PTSD walks into a coffee shop. Barista asks, “Decaf or regular?” PTSD replies, “Just give me peace.”
  16. How does PTSD enjoy a day at the beach? By building sandcastles and demolishing past memories.
  17. Why did the PTSD artist only paint abstracts? Reality was too triggering.
  18. My PTSD and I went skydiving. It was therapeutic, until we both remembered we forgot the parachute!
  19. Why did the PTSD patient become a chess master? Because every move reminded them of their strategic battles.
  20. My PTSD tried to write a memoir but got stuck on chapter one for years.
  1. Why did the PTSD ghost join the soccer team? To tackle its fears head-on!
  2. What’s a PTSD monster’s favorite snack? Boo-nanas, because they help with the boos!
  3. Why did the PTSD robot take a nap? To reboot its memory circuits!
  4. What do you call a PTSD pirate’s favorite letter? “P,” for peace and quiet!
  5. Why did the PTSD kangaroo carry a backpack? To keep its worries in one pouch!
  6. How does a PTSD alien relax? By taking a trip to the calm-osphere!
  7. What did the PTSD teddy bear say to the honey jar? “You help me feel less stuffed!”
  8. Why did the PTSD superhero wear a cape? To fly away from flashbacks!
  9. What’s a PTSD dragon’s favorite sport? Fire-free tag!
  10. How does a PTSD unicorn stay calm? By galloping through rainbows of relaxation!
  11. Why did the PTSD ninja practice yoga? To sneak up on serenity!
  12. What did the PTSD wizard say to the magic wand? “Help me cast a spell of calmness!”
  13. Why did the PTSD puppy join a cuddle club? To wag away the worries!
  14. How does a PTSD giraffe reach for the stars? By stretching its neck of positivity!
  15. Why did the PTSD dinosaur read bedtime stories? To dream of a peaceful past!
  16. What’s a PTSD fairy’s favorite dance move? The gentle glide!
  17. Why did the PTSD elephant take up painting? To color its world with calm!
  18. How does a PTSD astronaut find peace? By floating among the stars!
  19. What did the PTSD penguin say to the ice? “You help me chill out!”
  20. Why did the PTSD mermaid swim in a lagoon? To wash away the worries!

  1. Why did the PTSD chef open a bakery? Because kneading dough was the only therapy that rose to the occasion.
  2. I told my PTSD to take a hike. It came back with a map of all my triggers!
  3. Why did the PTSD musician prefer acoustic guitars? Because electric ones were too shocking!
  4. My PTSD walked into a bar. Bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” PTSD replies, “Good, I was just leaving.”
  5. Why did the PTSD patient bring a ladder to therapy? To get over their issues one rung at a time.
  6. I asked my PTSD if it wanted a drink. It said, “Only if it’s on the rocks… like my nerves.”
  7. Why did the PTSD author write a mystery novel? To solve the case of the missing peace of mind.
  8. My PTSD tried to start a garden, but all it grew were thorns and flashbacks.
  9. Why did the PTSD artist stick to charcoal? Because life felt like shades of grey.
  10. I took my PTSD to a comedy club. It heckled the comedians and stole the spotlight.
  11. Why did the PTSD patient become a librarian? To categorize their memories in the quietest place possible.
  12. My PTSD joined a band called “The Flashbacks.” Their first hit? “Trigger Happy.”
  13. Why did the PTSD person take up pottery? To shape their shattered pieces into something whole.
  14. My PTSD keeps a diary. Every page just says, “Not today, please.”
  15. Why did the PTSD patient love puzzles? Because putting the pieces together was oddly satisfying.
  16. My PTSD tried meditating. Now it has PTSD from sitting still too long.
  17. Why did the PTSD sufferer get into woodworking? To carve out some peace of mind.
  18. My PTSD and I have an agreement: it gets the night, I get the day. We’re still negotiating weekends.
  19. Why did the PTSD patient join a choir? To hit the high notes of healing and the low notes of release.
  20. I asked my PTSD if it wanted to watch a movie. It said, “Only if it’s a rerun of my worst fears.”
  1. Why did the PTSD therapist go broke? Too many free recollections.
  2. What did the PTSD survivor say to the baker? I knead a little more understanding.
  3. Why did the PTSD scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field of triggers.
  4. Why don’t PTSD patients tell secrets in a cornfield? There are too many ears listening.
  5. What’s a PTSD patient’s favorite type of music? Re-mind-er rock.
  6. How does a PTSD tree cope with stress? It leaves its worries behind.
  7. Why was the PTSD novel always so thrilling? It had too many flashback chapters.
  8. Why did the PTSD patient go to art school? To learn how to draw boundaries.
  9. How do PTSD sufferers like their coffee? With a splash of mindfulness.
  10. What’s a PTSD patient’s favorite game? Hide and don’t seek.
  11. Why did the PTSD patient carry a notebook? To keep track of their triggers.
  12. What’s the best way for PTSD patients to cook pasta? Al dente. It means “to the point.”
  13. Why did the PTSD patient start a gardening club? To cultivate calmness.
  14. What did the PTSD patient say to the alarm clock? Stop bringing up the past!
  15. Why did the PTSD survivor become a pilot? To soar above their worries.
  16. What’s a PTSD patient’s favorite exercise? Running away from their stress.
  17. Why don’t PTSD patients like camping? Too many intense sites.
  18. What did the PTSD patient say at the talent show? My skills are traumatic-ally good!
  19. Why did the PTSD patient join the orchestra? To play in harmony, not discord.
  20. Why did the PTSD patient get a dog? To help fetch their peace of mind.

  1. Why did the PTSD patient become a chef? To sauté their worries away.
  2. What’s a PTSD patient’s favorite type of cheese? Trigger-bert!
  3. Why did the PTSD patient bring a ladder to therapy? To reach new heights of healing.
  4. What did the PTSD patient say to the clock? You always take me back in time!
  5. Why did the PTSD patient join a band? To beat their anxiety to a different drum.
  6. What do you call a PTSD patient’s favorite fruit? A calm-berry!
  7. Why was the PTSD patient always invited to parties? They knew how to bring everyone back together.
  8. What did the PTSD patient say to the puzzle? You complete me, piece by piece.
  9. Why don’t PTSD patients like elevators? Too many ups and downs.
  10. How do PTSD patients enjoy their vacations? With a break from reality.
  11. What did the PTSD patient name their pet cat? Serotonin, because it’s always there to lift them up.
  12. Why did the PTSD patient become a gardener? To plant seeds of tranquility.
  13. What’s a PTSD patient’s favorite candy? Peppermint triggers!
  14. Why did the PTSD patient open a bakery? To bake away their stress with knead-ful moments.
  15. What did the PTSD patient say to their shadow? Stop following me around, I need some space!
  16. Why did the PTSD patient start a podcast? To share sound advice with a soothing voice.
  17. What’s a PTSD patient’s favorite vegetable? Peas of mind!
  18. Why did the PTSD patient become a photographer? To capture peaceful moments.
  19. What did the PTSD patient bring to the picnic? A basket full of calm and cheese.
  20. Why did the PTSD patient take up knitting? To weave through their thoughts one stitch at a time.

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