240+ Pregnancy jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Pregnancy jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the pregnant woman go to the art gallery? Because she heard they had a “bump” in exhibitions!
  2. What do you call a pregnant dog? A “pup” holder!
  3. Why don’t eggs ever tell jokes to pregnant women? Because they might crack up!
  4. How does a pregnant woman like her steak? With a “bun” in the oven!
  5. Why did the tomato turn red when the pregnant woman walked by? It saw the “bump” and got embarrassed!
  6. Why was the pregnant math book always stressed? It had too many problems!
  7. What did the pregnant grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  8. Why don’t pregnant women play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding that “bump”!
  9. What do you call a pregnant goldfish? A “tadpole” carrier!
  10. Why was the pregnant computer always crashing? It had too many “downloads”!
  11. What did the pregnant corn say to the butter? “Slide over, I’ve got a little extra room!”
  12. Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the “house”!
  13. What did the pregnant pillow say to the tired woman? “You’re not the only one with a bump to sleep on!”
  14. Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood restaurant? She heard they had great “bump” shrimp!
  15. What did the pregnant clock say to its partner? “We’ve got a lot of ticking to do before the baby arrives!”
  16. Why did the pregnant grapefruit blush? It saw the orange “bump” and got jealous!
  17. What do you call a pregnant train? A “choo-choo” carrier!
  18. Why was the pregnant kangaroo always hopping? She had a little “joey” on board!
  19. What did the pregnant tree say to the gardener? “I’m branching out with a new addition!”
  20. Why was the pregnant dictionary always happy? It was expecting new “definitions”!
  1. Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the “house”!
  2. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where’s popcorn?”
  3. Why was the pregnant grapefruit blushing? Because it saw the orange “bump” and got jealous!
  4. How does a pregnant woman like her eggs? “Egg-specting”!
  5. What did the pregnant computer say to its owner? “I think I’m due for a motherboard upgrade!”
  6. Why did the pregnant tomato turn red when the pregnant woman walked by? It saw the “bump” and got embarrassed!
  7. Why don’t pregnant women play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding that “bump”!
  8. What did the pregnant pillow say to the tired woman? “You’re not the only one with a bump to sleep on!”
  9. Why was the pregnant math book stressed out? Because it had too many “problems”!
  10. Why did the pregnant grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little “wine”!
  11. What did the pregnant kangaroo say to her friend? “I’m hopping with joy!”
  12. Why was the pregnant clock always hungry? It had “ticking” cravings!
  13. What did the pregnant tree say to the gardener? “I’m branching out with a new addition!”
  14. Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood restaurant? She heard they had great “bump” shrimp!
  15. Why don’t eggs tell jokes to pregnant women? Because they might “crack” up!
  16. What do you call a pregnant goldfish? A “tadpole” carrier!
  17. Why was the pregnant dictionary always happy? It was expecting new “definitions”!
  18. What did the pregnant grape say to its partner? “We’re going to be raisin’ a family!”
  19. Why did the pregnant train stop? It had a “choo-choo” on the way!
  20. How does a pregnant woman like her coffee? “With a little extra kick!”

  1. Why did the pregnant lady go to the art museum? Because she heard they had great “conceptions”!
  2. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? “Where’s popcorn?”
  3. Why was the pregnant math teacher so happy? Because she knew she had a “positive” result!
  4. Did you hear about the pregnant bed? It was expecting a spring delivery!
  5. Why did the pregnant grape stop rolling down the hill? Because it ran out of juice!
  6. How does a pregnant woman hold up her pants? With “belly” loops!
  7. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
  8. What did the pregnant dog say when she was asked how many puppies she was expecting? “A litter bit!”
  9. Why was the pregnant computer so moody? Because it had too many bytes of morning sickness!
  10. What did the baby say to the pregnant belly? “Can I come out and play?”
  11. Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
  12. Why did the pregnant woman sit on her wallet? She wanted to make some change!
  13. What do you call a pregnant doll? Expecting Barbie!
  14. Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood restaurant? She heard they had great “contractions”!
  15. Why did the pregnant woman bring a pencil to her doctor’s appointment? In case she needed to draw blood!
  16. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato during pregnancy? “Catch up!”
  17. Why did the pregnant woman bring a watermelon to the hospital? Because she was expecting a “seed” delivery!
  18. Why was the pregnant woman so good at karate? She had a strong “kick” inside!
  19. Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a basketball? To show she was expecting a “baller”!
  20. What did the pregnant cell phone say to its owner? “Call me later, I’m on vibrate mode!”
  1. Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
  2. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato during pregnancy? “Catch up!”
  3. Why did the pregnant cell phone say to its owner? “Call me later, I’m on vibrate mode!”
  4. What do you call a pregnant doll? Expecting Barbie!
  5. Why was the pregnant woman so good at karate? She had a strong “kick” inside!
  6. Why did the pregnant woman start carrying a basketball? To show she was expecting a “baller”!
  7. Did you hear about the pregnant bed? It was expecting a spring delivery!
  8. Why was the pregnant math teacher so happy? Because she knew she had a “positive” result!
  9. Why did the pregnant grape stop rolling down the hill? Because it ran out of juice!
  10. How does a pregnant woman hold up her pants? With “belly” loops!
  11. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
  12. What did the pregnant dog say when she was asked how many puppies she was expecting? “A litter bit!”
  13. Why did the pregnant woman sit on her wallet? She wanted to make some change!
  14. Why did the pregnant woman bring a pencil to her doctor’s appointment? In case she needed to draw blood!
  15. Why did the pregnant woman go to the seafood restaurant? She heard they had great “contractions”!
  16. Why did the pregnant lady go to the art museum? Because she heard they had great “conceptions”!
  17. Why did the pregnant woman bring a watermelon to the hospital? Because she was expecting a “seed” delivery!
  18. Why did the pregnant woman go to the library? She wanted to check out some “due dates”!
  19. Why was the pregnant computer so moody? Because it had too many bytes of morning sickness!
  20. Why did the pregnant woman bring a blanket to the restaurant? Because she wanted to “wrap” things up!

  1. Why did the pregnant woman bring a ladder to the grocery store? Because she heard the pickles were on the top shelf and she’s craving them!
  2. What did the baby say to the pregnant belly? “Can I have some more legroom in here? I’m starting to feel like a sardine!”
  3. Why don’t pregnant women ever go on trips? Because they already have the ultimate carry-on!
  4. How does a pregnant woman know she’s about to give birth to a future comedian? When her baby kicks and it feels like it’s telling a joke!
  5. Why did the pregnant woman go to the art museum? Because she heard they had an exhibit on “The Gestation of Mona Lisa!”
  6. What do you call a pregnant woman who’s also a magician? A mom-to-be-abra!
  7. Why did the pregnant woman bring a map to her doctor’s appointment? Because she heard she was due for a cervix check and wanted to make sure she didn’t get lost!
  8. What did the pregnant computer say? “I have a lot of bytes on the way!”
  9. Why don’t pregnant women ever lose at hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’ve got a kicking baby giving away your spot!
  10. What do you call a pregnant woman who’s also a detective? A mom-to-be-sleuth!
  11. Why did the pregnant woman go to the amusement park? Because she heard the roller coasters could induce labor, and she’s ready to get this show on the road!
  12. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite type of music? Womb tunes!
  13. Why did the pregnant woman start a band? Because she heard it was a great way to get a little extra bass in her belly!
  14. Why did the pregnant woman bring a stopwatch to her prenatal yoga class? Because she wanted to time her contractions and her warrior poses!
  15. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite type of seafood? Preggo-lini Alfredo!
  16. Why don’t pregnant women ever play hide and seek with their toddlers? Because they already know all the best hiding spots from carrying their little one around for nine months!
  17. What did the pregnant grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  18. Why did the pregnant woman become a referee? Because she’s used to making calls from inside the womb!
  19. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite exercise? Prenatal flexing!
  20. Why did the pregnant woman bring a pillow to the movie theater? Because she heard it was going to be a long labor of love!
  1. Why did the baby in the womb refuse to do karate? Because it didn’t want to come out kicking and screaming!
  2. What did the baby say to the ultrasound technician? “Quit poking around in there, I’m trying to nap!”
  3. Why was the baby in the womb always so calm? Because it was in the belly of the “stress-free zone”!
  4. What’s a baby’s favorite type of music in the womb? Womb-erang!
  5. Why did the baby in the womb refuse to do laundry? Because it didn’t want to get its umbilical cord tangled up in the clothesline!
  6. What did the baby in the womb say to its twin? “Stop kicking me, you’re invading my personal space!”
  7. Why did the baby in the womb refuse to play hide and seek? Because it already knew all the best hiding spots!
  8. What’s a baby’s favorite game in the womb? Peek-a-boo with the placenta!
  9. Why was the baby in the womb always so gassy? Because it was practicing for its future career as a trumpet player!
  10. What did the baby in the womb say to its mom’s bladder? “You’re on my turf now, watch out for kicks!”
  11. Why did the baby in the womb start a band? Because it wanted to make some “belly music”!
  12. What’s a baby’s favorite bedtime story in the womb? The Tale of the Belly Button!
  13. Why did the baby in the womb refuse to do somersaults? Because it didn’t want to get tangled up in its own umbilical cord!
  14. What’s a baby’s favorite type of snack in the womb? Cord-on-bleu cheese!
  15. Why did the baby in the womb turn down the invitation to the dance party? Because it was already busy practicing its fetal position!
  16. What did the baby in the womb say to its mom’s cravings? “I hope you’re craving something healthy, because I’m growing on a strict diet in here!”
  17. Why did the baby in the womb refuse to play soccer? Because it didn’t want to kick its way out too early!
  18. What’s a baby’s favorite sport in the womb? Belly-ball!
  19. Why was the baby in the womb always so talkative? Because it had nine months to prepare its first stand-up comedy routine!
  20. What did the baby in the womb say to its mom’s heartburn? “Sorry for the heat, but I’m cooking up a storm in here!”

  1. Why did the pregnant woman carry a ladder? Because she heard the baby might be a little high!
  2. What did the grape say when the pregnant woman stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  3. Why did the pregnant lady bring a stopwatch to her doctor’s appointment? To time her contractions and see if she could break her own record!
  4. How does a pregnant woman hold up her pants? With belly support, or as she calls it, her “baby bumpkin patch”!
  5. Why did the pregnant woman go to the art gallery? Because she heard they had an exhibit on “gestation station”!
  6. What did the pregnant tomato say to the baby tomato? “Catch up, we’re due soon!”
  7. Why did the pregnant woman refuse to play hide and seek? Because her baby always gave her away with a kick!
  8. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite type of music? Womb tunes!
  9. Why did the pregnant woman wear sunglasses? Because she heard her future is looking bright… and sleepless!
  10. Why did the pregnant woman become a chef? Because she’s great at making “buns in the oven”!
  11. How does a pregnant woman text her friends? With her “belly keypad” of course!
  12. Why did the pregnant woman always carry a tape measure? To track her baby’s growth… and her ever-expanding waistline!
  13. What do you call a pregnant woman’s nightstand? A “cravings station”!
  14. Why did the pregnant woman start a garden? Because she heard it’s a great way to grow an appetite for pickles and ice cream!
  15. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite exercise? Prenatal yoga, because it’s a great way to stretch for two!
  16. Why did the pregnant woman go to the comedy club? Because she heard laughter is the best medicine… especially when you’re craving pickles dipped in ice cream!
  17. What did the pregnant woman say to her unborn baby during a thunderstorm? “Don’t worry, it’s just your prenatal rock concert!”
  18. Why did the pregnant woman bring a map to the delivery room? To navigate through the “labor” of love!
  19. What did the pregnant woman say when asked if she wanted a boy or a girl? “I just want a healthy appetite and a good sense of humor!”
  20. Why did the pregnant woman join a dance class? Because she heard it’s a great way to “baby bump” to the beat!
  1. Why did the soon-to-be dad bring a dictionary to the delivery room? Because he wanted to “deliver” some puns while waiting for the baby!
  2. What did the expecting father say when asked about his wife’s pregnancy cravings? “I’m just along for the ride… and the midnight snack runs!”
  3. Why did the dad-to-be bring a camera to the ultrasound appointment? To capture the “baby’s first close-up” moment!
  4. What’s a dad-to-be’s favorite type of exercise? Prenatal pun-lates, because it’s a great way to prepare for all those dad jokes!
  5. Why did the expecting father start a journal? To document the “epic saga of dad jokes” beginning from pregnancy!
  6. What did the dad-to-be say when his partner’s water broke? “Looks like we’re in for a splash of adventure!”
  7. Why did the expecting father buy a book on baby names? Because he wanted to find the perfect name for his future joke-telling partner!
  8. Why did the dad-to-be start practicing diaper changing? Because he heard it’s the “punny” thing to do to prepare for fatherhood!
  9. What did the dad-to-be say when asked if he was ready for the baby? “As ready as I’ll ever be… to start training my successor in dad jokes!”
  10. Why did the expecting father start collecting dad hats? Because he wanted to have a wardrobe ready for all those “dadventures” with the baby!
  11. What’s a dad-to-be’s favorite dessert during pregnancy? “Popsicle” jokes, because they’re both sweet and chilly!
  12. Why did the dad-to-be bring a tape measure to the nursery? To ensure there’s enough room for all the future dad jokes to roam free!
  13. What did the expecting father say when asked about his parenting style? “I’m going for the ‘dad joke aficionado’ approach… with a side of diaper duty!”
  14. Why did the dad-to-be join a cooking class? To master the art of making “dad-approved” meals for those late-night cravings!
  15. What did the expecting father say when someone asked if he was nervous about becoming a dad? “Nervous? Nah, I’ve been practicing my dad jokes for years… I’m ready!”
  16. Why did the dad-to-be start a podcast? To share his wisdom on dad jokes, dad bods, and navigating the journey from pregnancy to parenthood!
  17. What’s a dad-to-be’s favorite movie during pregnancy? “The Dadfather” – because he’s ready to make an offer the baby can’t refuse… lots of dad jokes!
  18. Why did the expecting father bring a map to the hospital? To ensure he doesn’t get lost on the way to delivering his “bundle of pun”!
  19. What did the dad-to-be say when asked if he was practicing for the baby’s arrival? “Absolutely! I’m honing my dad joke skills… they’ll be dad-tastic by the time the baby arrives!”
  20. Why did the dad-to-be bring a stopwatch to the delivery room? To time how quickly he can come up with a dad joke after the baby’s born!

  1. Why don’t pregnant ladies ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding that bump!
  2. Did you hear about the pregnant bed? It’s expecting a spring delivery!
  3. Why was the pregnant woman always in a hurry? She was trying to beat the “bump” in traffic!
  4. How does a pregnant woman hold up her pants? With belly support, of course!
  5. Why did the pregnant woman go to art class? She wanted to learn how to “canvas” her belly!
  6. What do you call a pregnant snake? Expecting pythons!
  7. Why don’t pregnant women trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something!
  8. What did the pregnant math book say? “I’m expecting problems.”
  9. Why did the pregnant computer go to the doctor? It had a virus – a baby one!
  10. What’s a pregnant woman’s favorite type of music? Womb-tastic hits!
  11. Why did the pregnant tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
  12. What did the pregnant flower say to the bee? “Buzz off, I’m blooming!”
  13. Why did the pregnant woman carry a pencil? In case she wanted to draw some labor lines!
  14. What do you call a pregnant dog? A hot dog bun in the oven!
  15. Why did the pregnant woman become an astronaut? She wanted to explore the outer “space” of maternity!
  16. Why did the pregnant cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby!
  17. What did the pregnant grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  18. Why was the pregnant golfer so good at her game? She had a hole in one (or is it two?)
  19. What did the pregnant snowman say to the other snowman? “Do you want to build a bump-man?”
  20. Why did the pregnant woman refuse to play cards? She was afraid of getting a full house!

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