240+ Pimp jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Pimp jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the pimp bring a ladder to work? Because he heard the streets were getting high.
  2. What’s a pimp’s favorite part of the newspaper? The classified ads.
  3. Why did the pimp refuse to play cards? He was tired of dealing with the same old tricks.
  4. How does a pimp keep track of his appointments? He uses a “ho-logram” calendar.
  5. Why did the pimp become a barber? He wanted to give his clients fresh cuts and slick styles.
  6. What did the pimp say to his accountant? “I need to pimp my tax deductions.”
  7. Why did the pimp go to the baseball game? He heard it was a “hit and run” affair.
  8. How does a pimp like his coffee? With a splash of bling and a hint of swagger.
  9. Why did the pimp bring a map to the party? He wanted to show everyone the “ho-tspots.”
  10. What’s a pimp’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, of course—it’s all about the hustle.
  11. Why did the pimp go to the art gallery? He wanted to appreciate some fine “strokes.”
  12. What did the pimp say to his GPS? “Take me to the streets with the most curb appeal.”
  13. Why did the pimp go to the gym? He wanted to work on his “pimp-stride.”
  14. How does a pimp answer the phone? “Yo, what’s the business?”
  15. Why did the pimp open a bakery? He wanted to make some serious dough.
  16. What’s a pimp’s favorite vegetable? Leeks—because they’re long, green, and got plenty of layers.
  17. Why did the pimp go to the pet store? He heard they had some fly honeys there.
  18. How does a pimp organize his closet? With lots of pimped-out suits and stacks of cash.
  19. Why did the pimp go to the casino? He heard they had some high-stakes action.
  20. What did the pimp say to his gardener? “Make sure those roses are red, and those violets are blue—just like my money.”
  1. Why did the pimp bring a GPS to the party? To navigate through the ‘ho-down’!
  2. What did the pimp say when he won a poker game? “Looks like I’ve got a full house of hustlers!”
  3. Why was the pimp always calm? Because he knew how to pimp down his stress!
  4. What’s a pimp’s favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry’s “Pimpin’ Pistachio”!
  5. Why did the pimp carry a mirror everywhere? To keep an eye on his best asset – his reflection!
  6. Why don’t pimps play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re dripping in gold!
  7. How does a pimp like his eggs? Over easy, just like his cash flow!
  8. Why did the pimp go to the beach? To catch some waves and make some ‘shore’ deals!
  9. What’s a pimp’s favorite dance move? The money shuffle!
  10. Why did the pimp open a bakery? Because he heard that bread always rises!
  11. What did the pimp say to his assistant? “I need you to handle some ‘business’, baby!”
  12. Why did the pimp become a comedian? He had a knack for pimpin’ up the punchlines!
  13. What’s a pimp’s favorite board game? Monopoly, because he always owns the boardwalk!
  14. Why did the pimp carry a calculator? To keep track of all his ‘cash-culations’!
  15. Why was the pimp always calm in a crisis? Because he knew how to ‘pimp’ out any situation!
  16. What did the pimp say to his accountant? “I need a financial forecast with a side of pimpin’ profits!”
  17. Why did the pimp go to the farmer’s market? To pick up some fresh produce and fresh ‘prospects’!
  18. What’s a pimp’s favorite movie genre? Crime dramas – he loves to watch his competition!
  19. Why did the pimp bring a deck of cards to the party? To show off his ‘pimp hand’!
  20. What did the pimp say when he won the lottery? “Looks like I hit the jackpot of pimpin’!”

  1. Why did the pimp carry a dictionary? To redefine the game!
  2. What did the pimp say to the locksmith? “I need keys to the kingdom, baby!”
  3. Why was the pimp never afraid of a power outage? Because he knew how to light up the night!
  4. What’s a pimp’s favorite subject in school? Economics – he knows how to make that money multiply!
  5. Why did the pimp start a fashion line? To show the world what real ‘pimp style’ looks like!
  6. What did the pimp say to the tailor? “Make sure these threads scream ‘success’!”
  7. Why did the pimp go to the library? To check out some books on ‘pimpology’!
  8. What’s a pimp’s favorite part of the newspaper? The financial section – he loves to read about his investments!
  9. Why did the pimp open a gym? Because he knows the importance of keeping his ‘assets’ in shape!
  10. What did the pimp say to the entrepreneur? “Let’s collaborate and elevate, baby!”
  11. Why did the pimp invest in real estate? Because he knows the value of having property on every block!
  12. What’s a pimp’s favorite game? Chess – he loves to strategize and make power moves!
  13. Why did the pimp start a vineyard? Because he knows the importance of cultivating fine ‘vintages’!
  14. What did the pimp say to the bartender? “Mix me up something smooth – just like my game!”
  15. Why did the pimp become a poet? Because he knows how to turn words into wealth!
  16. What’s a pimp’s favorite app? LinkedIn – he loves to network and make those connections!
  17. Why did the pimp hire a personal chef? Because he knows that success tastes better when it’s seasoned just right!
  18. What did the pimp say to the tailor? “I need these suits to fit like a glove – a very expensive glove!”
  19. Why did the pimp buy a telescope? To keep his eyes on the stars and his sights set on success!
  20. What’s a pimp’s favorite saying? “It ain’t easy, but it sure is glamorous!”
  1. Why did the pimp carry an umbrella? To pimp out even when it’s raining cats and ho’s!
  2. How does a pimp like his steak? Well-done, just like his deals!
  3. Why did the pimp go to the zoo? To see if he could spot any ‘exotic’ talent!
  4. What did the pimp say to the shoe store clerk? “I need kicks that match my charisma!”
  5. Why did the pimp become a poet? Because he knew how to rhyme ‘time’ with ‘dime’!
  6. What’s a pimp’s favorite type of car? A Cadillac – because it’s all about that smooth ride!
  7. Why did the pimp carry a calculator? To tally up his ‘pimpin’ profits’!
  8. How does a pimp answer the phone? “Yo, what’s the dealio?”
  9. Why did the pimp become a gardener? He had a knack for planting seeds of success!
  10. What’s a pimp’s favorite accessory? A gold chain – because it’s all about that bling-bling!
  11. Why did the pimp go to the bank? To make a deposit in his ‘swag account’!
  12. What did the pimp say to the DJ? “Spin me something smooth – I’ve got a reputation to uphold!”
  13. Why did the pimp go to the circus? To see if he could recruit any ‘high-flying’ talent!
  14. What did the pimp say to the tailor? “Make sure these suits scream ‘success’!”
  15. Why did the pimp go to the art museum? To appreciate some fine ‘street art’!
  16. What’s a pimp’s favorite type of bird? A peacock – because it knows how to strut its stuff!
  17. Why did the pimp open a bakery? He wanted to make some serious dough!
  18. What did the pimp say to the hairdresser? “I need a cut that screams ‘confidence’!”
  19. Why did the pimp go to the farmer’s market? To pick up some fresh produce and fresh ‘prospects’!
  20. What’s a pimp’s favorite type of music? Funk – because it’s all about that groove!

  1. Why did the pimp open a school? Because he believed in education, but not just any education – he wanted to teach the art of pimpin’! So, he started P.I.M.P. Academy – the Pimp Institute of Mastery and Prosperity. The curriculum was diverse, covering everything from charm and charisma to negotiation tactics and fashion sense. The school motto? “Elevate your game, elevate your life!” Every morning, the students would gather in the grand lecture hall, where Professor Pimpington would deliver his lectures on the finer points of the trade. One day, a student raised his hand and asked, “Professor, what’s the secret to success in pimpin’?” The professor paused, took a puff of his cigar, and replied, “My dear pupil, success in pimpin’ is like a fine wine – it takes time, patience, and a whole lot of swagger. But remember this: always treat your clients with respect, and never forget to collect your dues!” And with that, the class erupted into applause, inspired by their mentor’s words of wisdom.
  2. Once upon a time, in the bustling city streets, there was a legendary pimp known far and wide as Big Daddy Mack. Now, Big Daddy Mack wasn’t just your average pimp – he was a visionary, a pioneer in the world of hustle and flow. He had a reputation for being the smoothest cat in town, with a fleet of luxurious cars, a wardrobe dripping in gold, and a stable of loyal ’employees’. But Big Daddy Mack wasn’t content with just ruling the streets – oh no, he had bigger dreams. So, one day, he gathered his closest confidants and announced his grand plan: he was going to revolutionize the world of pimpin’ by opening the first-ever Pimp University. The idea was simple yet groundbreaking – a place where aspiring pimps could come to learn the tricks of the trade, hone their skills, and ultimately, become masters of their own destinies. And so, Pimp University was born, with Big Daddy Mack at the helm as its fearless leader. The campus was a sight to behold, with towering palm trees, glistening swimming pools, and marble statues of famous pimps from history. The curriculum was rigorous, covering everything from pimp etiquette to financial management. And as word spread, students from all corners of the globe flocked to enroll, eager to learn from the best in the business. Years passed, and Pimp University became the premier institution for aspiring pimps, producing some of the most successful players in the game. And through it all, Big Daddy Mack remained at the heart of it, a living legend and an inspiration to all who dared to dream big.
  3. Picture this: a smoky nightclub, pulsating with the rhythm of the music, and at the center of it all, a figure shrouded in mystery – the legendary pimp, Diamond Don. Now, Diamond Don wasn’t your average pimp – he was a master of the game, with a charm that could melt the coldest of hearts and a wit sharper than a diamond-tipped cane. He had a reputation for being the slickest operator in town, with a stable of ’employees’ who would do anything for him. But Diamond Don wasn’t content with just ruling the streets – oh no, he had a grand vision. So, one fateful night, he gathered his most trusted associates and unveiled his master plan: he was going to build the world’s first-ever Pimp Palace. The idea was simple yet revolutionary – a lavish mansion where pimps from all walks of life could come to relax, unwind, and exchange ideas. And so, construction began on the Pimp Palace, with Diamond Don overseeing every detail personally. The result was a sight to behold – a sprawling estate with marble floors, velvet drapes, and gold-plated fixtures at every turn. But the true magic of the Pimp Palace lay in its secret underground chamber, known only to the most elite members of the pimping community. It was here that Diamond Don held court, dispensing wisdom and advice to those who sought his guidance. And as word spread, pimps from far and wide made the pilgrimage to the Pimp Palace, eager to bask in the presence of greatness. And through it all, Diamond Don remained at the helm, a beacon of hope and inspiration to all who dared to dream of a life of luxury and excess.
  4. There once was a pimp named Slick Rick, who was known far and wide for his silver tongue and quick wit. Slick Rick wasn’t your average pimp – he was a smooth operator, with a knack for turning any situation to his advantage. One day, as he was strolling down the boulevard, he came across a group of young men who were down on their luck. They looked lost and defeated, with no hope for the future. Slick Rick took pity on them and decided to take them under his wing. He taught them everything he knew about the art of pimpin’ – from how to dress to how to talk, and everything in between. And as the weeks turned into months, the young men began to transform before his eyes. They walked with a swagger, talked with confidence, and soon enough, they were running their own operations with the same finesse as their mentor. Years passed, and Slick Rick’s proteges became legends in their own right, spreading his teachings far and wide. And as for Slick Rick himself? Well, he may have retired from the game, but his legacy lived on, a testament to the power of mentorship and the enduring allure of pimpin’.
  5. Imagine, if you will, a bustling metropolis, where the streets are paved with gold and the neon lights never dim. In the heart of this city lies a legendary figure – the one they call Kingpin Kenny. Now, Kingpin Kenny wasn’t your average pimp – he was a visionary, a trailblazer in the world of hustle and flow. He had a reputation for being the smoothest operator in town, with a fleet of luxurious cars, a wardrobe dripping in gold, and a stable of ’employees’ who would do anything for him. But Kingpin Kenny wasn’t content with just ruling the streets – oh no, he had a grand vision. So, one fateful day, he gathered his most trusted associates and unveiled his master plan: he was going to build the world’s first-ever Pimp Tower. The idea was simple yet revolutionary – a towering skyscraper where pimps from all corners of the globe could come to live, work, and play. And so, construction began on the Pimp Tower, with Kingpin Kenny overseeing every detail personally. The result was a sight to behold – a gleaming edifice of glass and steel, rising high above the city skyline. But the true magic of the Pimp Tower lay in its opulent penthouse suites, where the most elite members of the pimping community could live in luxury and style. And as word spread, pimps from far and wide flocked to the Pimp Tower, eager to join the ranks of the elite. And through it all, Kingpin Kenny remained at the helm, a beacon of hope and inspiration to all who dared to dream of a life of glamour and excess.
  1. Why did the little pimp kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to be head pimp in the class hierarchy!
  2. How does a pimp kid do math? With his blingculator!
  3. What did the pimp kid say to his friends when they asked him why he always carries a cane? “It’s not just for style, it’s for pimpin’ stability!”
  4. Why was the pimp kid always confident during tests? Because he knew how to pimp out the answers!
  5. What’s a pimp kid’s favorite subject in school? Social Studies – where they learn about pimpin’ throughout history!
  6. How did the pimp kid fix his broken toy? With pimp glue!
  7. Why did the pimp kid bring a briefcase to the playground? To hold his pimp juice boxes!
  8. What did the pimp kid say to the bully? “You better back off or I’ll pimp slap you into next week!”
  9. Why did the pimp kid get detention? He was caught pimpin’ his lunch for better snacks!
  10. How does a pimp kid style his hair? With a comb made of solid gold!
  11. What’s a pimp kid’s favorite game? Monopimp – where they buy and sell properties like true bosses!
  12. What’s the pimp kid’s favorite fruit? Cantaloupe – because it’s pimpin’ sweet!
  13. Why did the pimp kid become a magician? So he could pull money out of his hat like a true pimp wizard!
  14. What did the pimp kid say to his mom when she asked where all his allowance went? “I invested it in my pimp future, mom!”
  15. Why did the pimp kid always carry a mirror? So he could check his pimp reflection wherever he went!
  16. What’s a pimp kid’s favorite bedtime story? “Goldilocks and the Three Pimps”!
  17. Why did the pimp kid refuse to play hide and seek? Because he said, “You can’t hide from the pimp game of life!”
  18. What’s a pimp kid’s favorite animal? The cheetah – because it’s fast and stylish, just like a true pimp!
  19. Why did the pimp kid open a lemonade stand? To learn the art of pimpin’ sales early!
  20. What did the pimp kid say to his teacher when asked why he was late? “Sorry, I was stuck in traffic on the way to my pimping seminar!”

  1. Why did the pimp switch to a vegan diet? Because he wanted to pimp his health!
  2. How does a pimp organize his schedule? With a pimped-out planner!
  3. What did the pimp say when asked about his retirement plan? “I’m investing in a pimped-up retirement villa in the Bahamas!”
  4. Why did the pimp become a chef? So he could pimp out his recipes!
  5. What’s a pimp’s favorite dance move? The pimp strut!
  6. How does a pimp keep his cool? With a pimped-out ice pack!
  7. Why did the pimp start a garden? To grow his own pimpin’ vegetables!
  8. What did the pimp say when he won the lottery? “Time to pimp out my lifestyle!”
  9. How does a pimp decorate his house? With pimped-out furnishings and gold-plated everything!
  10. Why did the pimp go to therapy? To work on his pimpin’ issues!
  11. What did the pimp say to the tailor? “Make sure my suits are pimp-tailored to perfection!”
  12. Why did the pimp buy a sports car? To pimp out his ride!
  13. How does a pimp stay on top of fashion trends? By always wearing pimped-out attire!
  14. What’s a pimp’s favorite vacation destination? The Pimpibbean!
  15. Why did the pimp start a charity? To pimp out his reputation!
  16. What did the pimp say when asked about his secret to success? “It’s all about pimpin’ attitude!”
  17. How does a pimp relax after a long day? With a pimped-out massage!
  18. Why did the pimp start a record label? To pimp out his musical talent!
  19. What did the pimp say when asked about his philosophy on life? “Pimpin’ ain’t easy, but somebody’s gotta do it!”
  20. How does a pimp stay in shape? With a pimped-out gym routine!
  1. Why did the pimp dad take his kids to the zoo? To show them how to spot the real pimps in the animal kingdom!
  2. What did the pimp dad say when his kid asked for money? “Sorry, I’m all out of pimp change!”
  3. Why did the pimp dad bring a map to the amusement park? So he could navigate the pimpin’ rides!
  4. What did the pimp dad say when his kid asked for a bedtime story? “Once upon a time, there was a pimp who ruled the streets with style and swagger!”
  5. Why did the pimp dad become a barber? So he could give his kids pimped-out haircuts!
  6. How does a pimp dad grill burgers? With extra pimp sauce!
  7. Why did the pimp dad enroll his kids in martial arts? So they could learn the art of pimp self-defense!
  8. What did the pimp dad say when his kid complained about chores? “Stop whining and start pimpin’ those chores!”
  9. Why did the pimp dad take up gardening? To grow his own pimpin’ vegetables for the family!
  10. What’s a pimp dad’s favorite joke? “Why did the pimp cross the road? To get to the bling on the other side!”
  11. Why did the pimp dad bring a calculator to the grocery store? To pimp out the family budget!
  12. What did the pimp dad say when his kid asked for a pet? “Sure, we can get a pimpin’ goldfish!”
  13. Why did the pimp dad start a band? So he could teach his kids the importance of pimpin’ rhythm!
  14. What did the pimp dad say when his kid asked for a smartphone? “Sorry, you gotta earn your pimpin’ privileges!”
  15. Why did the pimp dad buy a telescope? To teach his kids about the pimp stars!
  16. What did the pimp dad say when his kid asked for a raise in allowance? “You gotta show me some real pimp hustle first!”
  17. Why did the pimp dad bring a camera to the park? To capture all the pimpin’ memories!
  18. What did the pimp dad say when his kid asked where babies come from? “From the land of pimpin’ storks, my child!”
  19. Why did the pimp dad start a YouTube channel? To share his pimpin’ wisdom with the world!
  20. What did the pimp dad say when his kid asked why he always wears sunglasses? “Because even the sun knows I’m a pimp!”

  1. Why did the pimp open a bakery? Because he wanted to make some pimpin’ dough!
  2. What did the pimp say to his reflection? “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the flyest pimp of them all?”
  3. Why did the pimp bring a ladder to the dance? Because he heard the higher he climbed, the closer he was to pimpin’ heaven!
  4. How does a pimp take his coffee? With a whole lot of cream and sugar, just like his style!
  5. What’s a pimp’s favorite movie? “Pimp Fiction”!
  6. Why did the pimp wear sunglasses at night? Because even the moonlight can’t handle his pimpin’ glare!
  7. What did the pimp say to his haters? “Keep talkin’, while I keep walkin’ – in my pimpin’ shoes!”
  8. Why did the pimp buy a boat? So he could sail the seven seas in pimpin’ style!
  9. What’s a pimp’s favorite dessert? Ice cream, because it’s pimpin’ cold!
  10. Why did the pimp refuse to play cards? Because he heard it was a game for squares, not pimps!
  11. What did the pimp say to the fashion police? “Arrest me for being too fly!”
  12. Why did the pimp bring a map to the party? So he could navigate the sea of admirers!
  13. What did the pimp say to the DJ? “Drop the beat, and let’s get this party pimpin’!”
  14. Why did the pimp go to the art gallery? To appreciate the fine art of pimpin’ aesthetics!
  15. What did the pimp say when asked about his favorite song? “Anything with a funky beat, because pimpin’ ain’t easy but it sure is groovy!”
  16. Why did the pimp open a gym? So he could help others achieve their pimpin’ physique!
  17. What did the pimp say when asked about his secret to success? “It’s all in the pimpin’ attitude, baby!”
  18. Why did the pimp become a chef? To whip up some pimpin’ culinary creations!
  19. What did the pimp say to the mirror? “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the pimpin’est of them all?”
  20. Why did the pimp become a poet? To rhyme his way to pimpin’ fame!

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