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1. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. Norm Macdonald’s favorite exercise? Lifting his eyebrows at the absurdity of life.
3. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked if he believes in ghosts? “I don’t know, but I do believe in the spirits at the liquor store.”
4. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to play hide and seek? Because he said, “I’m too good at staying hidden from success.”
5. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline… unless it’s his liver.
6. Why did Norm Macdonald become a gardener? Because he loves planting seeds of doubt in people’s minds.
7. What does Norm Macdonald do when he can’t sleep? He counts sheepish excuses for why he’s still awake.
8. Why did Norm Macdonald get kicked out of the zoo? Because he kept telling the monkeys they were just “evolutionary prototypes.”
9. What’s Norm Macdonald’s secret talent? Turning awkward silences into comedic gold.
10. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a mirror to the comedy club? So the audience could see themselves laughing.
11. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite kind of music? Stand-up comedy albums.
12. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to join social media? Because he said, “I can’t fit my wit into 280 characters.”
13. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his retirement plans? “I’ll retire when I run out of jokes… so never.”
14. Why did Norm Macdonald become a chef? Because he loves serving up piping hot punchlines.
15. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite board game? Monopoly, because he’s always the banker, making jokes about inflation.
16. Why did Norm Macdonald become a weatherman? Because he loves delivering forecasts with a chance of laughter.
17. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite holiday? April Fools’ Day, because it’s the only day he gets taken seriously.
18. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to skydive? Because he said, “I prefer my falls to be comedic, not literal.”
19. What’s Norm Macdonald’s advice for aspiring comedians? “Don’t worry about being funny, just worry about being honest… and funny.”
20. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a rubber chicken to the comedy roast? Because he wanted to show everyone what a real chicken sounds like under pressure.

1. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a GPS to the comedy club? Because he’s always lost in his own punchlines!
2. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you… just like my jokes.”
3. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to go on a roller coaster? Because he said, “I prefer my ups and downs to be in the stock market, not at an amusement park.”
4. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked if he believes in love at first sight? “I believe in love at first laugh.”
5. Why did Norm Macdonald become a lifeguard? Because he loves saving people from drowning in their own tears of laughter.
6. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Puns and cream!
7. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a deck of cards to the comedy show? So he could deal out some killer punchlines!
8. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked if he’s afraid of commitment? “I’m more afraid of bombing on stage than settling down.”
9. Why did Norm Macdonald become a chef? Because he loves cooking up jokes that leave you hungry for more!
10. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite superhero? Deadpan Man!
11. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a magnifying glass to the comedy club? So he could find the humor in life’s smallest details.
12. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked if he’s a morning person? “I’m a comedian, I’m barely an afternoon person.”
13. Why did Norm Macdonald start a garden? Because he heard laughter is the best fertilizer!
14. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite type of sandwich? A pun-wich!
15. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a parachute to the comedy show? Just in case his jokes bombed!
16. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked if he believes in luck? “I believe in making my own luck… and my own punchlines.”
17. Why did Norm Macdonald become a detective? Because he loves solving mysteries… like why the chicken crossed the road!
18. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite dance move? The punchline shuffle!
19. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a rubber chicken to the comedy club? Because he wanted to prove that sometimes the real joke is on you!
20. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked if he’s afraid of heights? “I’m more afraid of bombing on stage than falling from the sky!”

1. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a thesaurus to the comedy club? Because he wanted to find the most sesquipedalian way to deliver his punchlines.
2. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite kind of math? Subtraction, because he’s always removing unnecessary words from his jokes.
3. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to join the circus? Because he said, “I’m already a master at juggling punchlines.”
4. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his favorite punctuation mark? “The ellipsis… because it leaves room for comedic suspense.”
5. Why did Norm Macdonald start a book club? Because he wanted to analyze the subtext of knock-knock jokes.
6. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite part of a joke? The setup, because it’s like laying the groundwork for a comedic skyscraper.
7. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a dictionary to the comedy show? So he could define humor in his own terms.
8. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his retirement plans? “I’ll retire when I can’t find any more words to twist into punchlines.”
9. Why did Norm Macdonald become a crossword puzzle enthusiast? Because he loves piecing together words to create a punchline grid.
10. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite literary device? Irony, because it’s like a punchline wrapped in a paradox.
11. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to tell knock-knock jokes? Because he said, “I prefer my humor to knock the wind out of you, not just knock on the door.”
12. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his comedic influences? “I’m influenced by the silence between laughs… it’s where the real magic happens.”
13. Why did Norm Macdonald become a crossword puzzle enthusiast? Because he loves piecing together words to create a punchline grid.
14. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite literary device? Irony, because it’s like a punchline wrapped in a paradox.
15. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to tell knock-knock jokes? Because he said, “I prefer my humor to knock the wind out of you, not just knock on the door.”
16. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his comedic influences? “I’m influenced by the silence between laughs… it’s where the real magic happens.”
17. Why did Norm Macdonald start a podcast? Because he wanted to dissect the anatomy of humor one witty remark at a time.
18. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite type of wordplay? Punning, because it’s like verbal gymnastics with a comedic twist.
19. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a telescope to the comedy show? So he could spot the humor in the far reaches of the universe.
20. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his favorite comedy genre? “I’m genre-fluid… as long as it’s funny, I’m in.”

1. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
2. Norm Macdonald’s favorite exercise? Dodging questions like they’re bad punchlines.
3. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his diet? “I’m on the see-food diet. I see food, I eat it.”
4. Why did Norm Macdonald become a gardener? Because he heard it was a good way to “plant” jokes.
5. How does Norm Macdonald like his coffee? With a side of sarcasm and a sprinkle of wit.
6. Why did Norm Macdonald go to the art gallery? He heard they had frames for his punchlines.
7. What did Norm Macdonald say when asked about his career plans? “I’m just waiting for the punchline.”
8. Why did Norm Macdonald become a chef? Because he wanted to master the art of cooking up jokes.
9. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite part of a joke? The awkward silence that follows.
10. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a map to the comedy club? He didn’t want to get lost in his own punchlines.
11. How does Norm Macdonald prepare for a stand-up show? By practicing his deadpan stare in the mirror.
12. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to play poker with the other comedians? He couldn’t stop bluffing about his punchlines.
13. What did Norm Macdonald say when someone asked if he was ever serious? “Only when the joke’s on me.”
14. Why did Norm Macdonald become a fisherman? He heard there were plenty of puns in the sea.
15. What’s Norm Macdonald’s secret talent? Making awkward situations even more awkward with a well-timed joke.
16. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a flashlight to the comedy club? He wanted to shed light on his dark humor.
17. What did Norm Macdonald say when someone asked about his love life? “It’s like a bad joke, always ending in awkward laughter.”
18. Why did Norm Macdonald become a detective? He wanted to uncover the mystery behind the perfect punchline.
19. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite holiday? April Fools’ Day, of course.
20. Why did Norm Macdonald start a podcast? He wanted a platform where he could ramble on and on, uninterrupted.

1. Norm Macdonald once tried to start a business selling hot air balloons filled with his own jokes. It failed miserably because every time someone asked for a refund, he’d just tell them another joke.
2. Did you hear about the time Norm Macdonald entered a pun competition? He thought he’d win easily, but he ended up being disqualified because all his puns were too pun-ishing.
3. Norm Macdonald decided to become a detective, but he was fired on his first day because he kept asking suspects, “So, what’s your alibi for not laughing at my jokes?”
4. One time, Norm Macdonald tried his hand at cooking. He made a joke about a burnt steak being “rare humor,” but no one found it funny, especially not the fire department.
5. Norm Macdonald once tried to write a book of inspirational quotes, but it ended up being filled with jokes about motivational speakers. He called it “Laugh Your Way to Success: One Punchline at a Time.”
6. Ever wonder why Norm Macdonald never became a lifeguard? Well, he tried once, but he got fired for telling drowning swimmers, “Don’t worry, folks, I’ll save you… as soon as I think of something funny to say.”
7. Did you hear about the time Norm Macdonald tried to break the world record for the longest stand-up comedy set? He ended up setting a different record for the most people falling asleep simultaneously.
8. Norm Macdonald once tried his hand at gardening, but he quickly gave up when he realized he couldn’t make his plants laugh. He said, “I guess my green thumb is more like a blue joke.”
9. One time, Norm Macdonald went on a camping trip and tried to entertain his fellow campers with ghost stories. But instead of being scared, they all fell asleep, and he woke up to find his audience had “ghosted” him.
10. Norm Macdonald decided to try his luck as a magician, but his act consisted of pulling joke books out of a hat instead of rabbits. The audience was left wondering, “Is this a magic show or an open mic?”
11. Did you hear about the time Norm Macdonald tried to host a cooking show? It was a disaster. He kept telling the audience, “If you can’t stand the heat, tell a joke and get out of the kitchen.”
12. Norm Macdonald once auditioned for a role in a Shakespearean play. He thought he’d be perfect for the part of the court jester, but they cast him as the brooding prince instead. He spent the entire play trying to sneak in one-liners.
13. One time, Norm Macdonald tried to start a band, but they couldn’t agree on a name. He wanted to call it “The Punchlines,” but the other members said it sounded too much like a comedy act. So they settled on “The Awkward Pauses” instead.
14. Did you hear about the time Norm Macdonald tried to become a superhero? He called himself “Captain Quip” and tried to fight crime with his wit. But most criminals just ended up laughing and escaping.
15. Norm Macdonald once tried to break into the world of fine art by painting portraits of famous comedians. Unfortunately, all his paintings ended up looking like caricatures, and he was banned from the art gallery for causing too many laughs.
16. One time, Norm Macdonald decided to become a motivational speaker. His first piece of advice was, “If at first you don’t succeed, try telling a different joke.”
17. Did you hear about the time Norm Macdonald tried to become a professional wrestler? He thought his signature move, the “Knock-Knock Slam,” would make him unbeatable. But he ended up getting pinned by his own punchlines.
18. Norm Macdonald once tried to host a talk show, but every time a guest tried to talk, he’d interrupt them with a joke. The show was canceled after one episode due to “excessive laughter.”
19. One time, Norm Macdonald tried his hand at astrology. He told people their horoscopes, but instead of predicting their future, he just made jokes about their zodiac signs. He called it “Cosmic Comedy.”
20. Did you hear about the time Norm Macdonald tried to become a professional golfer? He thought he’d excel because he could “drive” the audience wild with laughter. But he quickly learned that golf courses have a strict “no joke-telling” policy.
21. Norm Macdonald once tried to become a fashion designer, but all his clothes ended up looking like punchlines. He said, “I guess I’ll stick to making people laugh, not look good.”

1. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Norm Macdonald told it a joke, and it couldn’t stop laughing!
2. Why was the math book sad? Because Norm Macdonald kept subtracting punchlines!
3. What did the grape say when Norm Macdonald stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it heard one of Norm Macdonald’s embarrassing dad jokes!
5. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because Norm Macdonald said, “Hey, watch this wheelie!”
6. What do you get when Norm Macdonald tells a joke in the forest? Lots of laughing trees!
7. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because it was always spotted by Norm Macdonald’s jokes!
8. Why was the broom late? Because Norm Macdonald swept in and told it a long story!
9. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner,” but Norm Macdonald was already there telling jokes!
10. Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open while Norm Macdonald was telling jokes!
11. What did the pencil say to the paper? “You’re so lucky, at least you can erase Norm Macdonald’s bad puns!”
12. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly after hearing Norm Macdonald’s jokes!
13. Why did the banana go to the party? Because it heard Norm Macdonald was going to split his sides with laughter!
14. What did the hat say to the scarf? “You’re so lucky, at least you can cover your ears from Norm Macdonald’s jokes!”
15. Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter and shine even more when hearing Norm Macdonald’s hilarious stories!
16. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? “Dam!” because it heard Norm Macdonald was on the other side with his fishy jokes!
17. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was too tired from laughing at Norm Macdonald’s jokes!
18. Why did the tomato turn into a superhero? Because it heard Norm Macdonald was in town and wanted to be able to withstand his puns of justice!
19. What did the hat say to the scarf? “You’re so lucky, you can wrap around my head and muffle out Norm Macdonald’s jokes!”
20. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed from laughing at Norm Macdonald’s jokes all night!

1. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to play poker with the ocean? Because it had too many “fishy” players!
2. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
3. What’s Norm Macdonald’s favorite type of music? Stand-up comedy, because he can always hit the punchline!
4. Why did Norm Macdonald refuse to play hide and seek with his friends? Because good luck hiding from his relentless one-liners!
5. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a mirror to the comedy club? So he could “reflect” on his jokes before telling them!
6. Why did Norm Macdonald start a garden? Because he heard laughter was the best fertilizer!
7. Why did Norm Macdonald become a bartender? Because he wanted to serve up drinks and punchlines!
8. Why did Norm Macdonald become a weatherman? So he could forecast laughs in every forecast!
9. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a map to the party? So he could navigate his way through a sea of punchlines!
10. Why did Norm Macdonald join a choir? So he could hit the high notes of comedy!
11. Why did Norm Macdonald become a detective? Because he wanted to crack cases and jokes at the same time!
12. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a book to the comedy club? So he could bookmark all his favorite punchlines!
13. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a flashlight to the movie theater? So he could shed light on all the dark comedy!
14. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a calculator to the party? So he could count the laughs!
15. Why did Norm Macdonald become a chef? So he could cook up jokes with a side of laughter!
16. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a tape measure to the concert? So he could measure the decibels of laughter!
17. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a magnifying glass to the comedy show? So he could scrutinize every detail of his jokes!
18. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a stopwatch to the bar? So he could time how long it took for his jokes to land!
19. Why did Norm Macdonald become a pilot? So he could take his humor to new heights!
20. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a notepad to the beach? So he could jot down all the waves of laughter!

1. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house, and he wanted to climb his way to the top shelf!
2. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a map to the comedy club? So he could navigate his way through a sea of punchlines and find the treasure trove of laughter!
3. Why did Norm Macdonald become a detective? Because he wanted to solve mysteries and dad jokes simultaneously!
4. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a mirror to the party? So he could practice his dad dance moves and make sure he was “looking sharp”!
5. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a tape measure to the movie theater? So he could measure the length of the laugh track during his favorite comedies!
6. Why did Norm Macdonald become a weatherman? So he could forecast a 100% chance of dad jokes with a high chance of laughter!
7. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a calculator to the concert? So he could count the number of dad jokes per minute!
8. Why did Norm Macdonald become a chef? So he could whip up a batch of dad jokes with a pinch of puns and a dash of laughter!
9. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a notepad to the beach? So he could write down all the waves of laughter he created with his dad jokes!
10. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a flashlight to the bar? So he could “shine a light” on his dad jokes and make sure they were well-illuminated!
11. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a magnifying glass to the comedy show? So he could scrutinize every detail of his dad jokes and ensure they were “punny” enough!
12. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a stopwatch to the party? So he could time how long it took for his dad jokes to elicit groans and laughter!
13. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a book to the barbecue? So he could “grill” everyone with his dad jokes and have them “cooked” to perfection!
14. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a fishing rod to the family reunion? So he could reel in all the laughs with his expertly crafted dad jokes!
15. Why did Norm Macdonald become a pilot? So he could fly his dad jokes to new heights and make sure they were always “uplifting”!
16. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a telescope to the picnic? So he could see all the stars aligning for his stellar dad jokes!
17. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a dictionary to the party? So he could look up synonyms for “hilarious” to describe his dad jokes!
18. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a compass to the comedy club? So he could always find his way back to the punchline!
19. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a camera to the concert? So he could capture all the priceless reactions to his epic dad jokes!
20. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a shovel to the beach? So he could dig up a treasure trove of dad jokes buried in the sand!

1. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a slice of cheese to the comedy club? Because he wanted to add some extra cheesy punchlines to his act!
2. Why did the cheese refuse to tell jokes with Norm Macdonald? Because it said his humor was too “gouda” be true!
3. What did the cheese say to Norm Macdonald’s jokes? “You’re so cheesy, you make me melt!”
4. Why did Norm Macdonald dress up as a block of cheese for Halloween? Because he wanted to be “cheddar” known for his cheesy sense of humor!
5. What did the cheese do when Norm Macdonald told a joke? It laughed so hard it whey-ed itself!
6. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a cheese grater to the comedy show? Because he wanted to shred the audience with his cheesy jokes!
7. Why did the cheese want to hang out with Norm Macdonald? Because it heard he was the “big cheese” of comedy!
8. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a fondue pot to the party? So he could dip his cheesy jokes in a vat of laughter!
9. Why did the cheese roll away from Norm Macdonald? Because it didn’t want to get caught in his cheesy punchlines!
10. What did the cheese say when Norm Macdonald asked it to tell a joke? “I’m too gouda listen to your cheesy humor!”
11. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a cheese slicer to the bar? So he could slice through the tension with his cheesy jokes!
12. Why did the cheeseburger ask Norm Macdonald for advice? Because it wanted to beef up its cheesy punchlines!
13. What did the cheese say to Norm Macdonald’s jokes? “You’re so cheesy, you belong on a pizza!”
14. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a cheeseboard to the picnic? So he could serve up his cheesy jokes with a side of laughter!
15. Why did the cheese block Norm Macdonald on social media? Because it couldn’t handle his cheesy memes!
16. What did the cheese say when Norm Macdonald tried to tell a joke? “You’re so cheesy, you make me blue!”
17. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a cheese wheel to the comedy club? Because he wanted to roll out his cheesiest material!
18. What did the cheese say when Norm Macdonald told a joke? “You’re so cheesy, I camembert it anymore!”
19. Why did Norm Macdonald bring a cheese grater to the party? So he could grate his cheesy jokes into the conversation!
20. What did the cheese say when Norm Macdonald asked it to tell a joke? “I’m Swiss, I can’t help but laugh at your cheesy humor!”

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