240+ Monster jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Monster jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the monster bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the food was “to die for”!
  2. What do you call a monster who loves to dance? The Boogie Monster!
  3. Why was the monster always invited to picnics? Because it was a “bite”-sized terror!
  4. How do monsters tell time? They look at their “boo”-tiful watches!
  5. Why don’t monsters eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
  6. What did the monster say when it lost its keys? “I’m a monster, not a locksmith!”
  7. Why did the monster sit on the clock? It wanted to be on “time” for scaring!
  8. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? “Scream” brulee!
  9. Why did the monster apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to work the graveyard shift!
  10. How do monsters stay fit? They do the “frightening” workout!
  11. What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
  12. Why did the monster go to school? To improve its “scare-er” education!
  13. What did the monster say when it saw a ghost? “Nice sheet!”
  14. Why don’t monsters play hide and seek with ghosts? Because they always “haunt” them!
  15. Why did the monster bring a pencil to bed? In case it had to draw the curtains!
  16. What’s a monster’s favorite snack? “Ghoul-ash”!
  17. How does a monster like its eggs? “Terri-fried”!
  18. Why did the monster go to therapy? It had too many “skeletons” in the closet!
  19. Why don’t monsters like rain? Because it dampens their spirits!
  20. What did the monster say to the refrigerator? “Stop freezing me out!”
  1. Why did the monster bring a spoon to the monster party? Because it heard there would be “ghoul”-ash!
  2. What do you call a monster who loves to sing? A hum-monster!
  3. Why did the monster sit on the computer? It wanted to “surf” the web!
  4. How do monsters pay for things? With “scream” cards!
  5. What’s a monster’s favorite snack? “Terror”-misu!
  6. Why was the monster always so well-informed? Because it read the “monst-errific” news!
  7. What do you get when you cross a monster with a snowman? Frostbite!
  8. Why did the monster go to the doctor? It had a bad case of “monster-itis”!
  9. What did the monster say when it tripped? “Oops, I’m just a little “monstrous” clumsy!”
  10. Why don’t monsters like to eat fast food? Because it’s “ghastly”!
  11. What did one monster say to the other during a game of hide and seek? “You’re so good at this, it’s “scary”! “
  12. Why did the monster go to the party alone? It couldn’t find a “ghoul”-friend!
  13. What did the monster say when it saw a spider? “Hey buddy, want to join the “web” of friends?”
  14. Why did the monster bring a map to bed? In case it got “lost” in its dreams!
  15. What’s a monster’s favorite type of music? “Scream” metal!
  16. Why was the monster so good at math? Because it had “countless” problems to solve!
  17. What’s a monster’s favorite fruit? “Scare”-berries!
  18. Why did the monster break up with its girlfriend? She said it was “too much to handle”!
  19. What do you call a monster with a great sense of humor? Hilarious-creature!
  20. Why don’t monsters ever make good chefs? Because they always “chop” off more than they can “chew”!

  1. Why did the monster bring a flashlight to the library? Because it wanted to shed some light on the “monstrous” mysteries of literature!
  2. What do you call a monster who’s good at math? A “sum”-moner!
  3. Why was the monster so good at puzzles? Because it had a “monstrous” intellect!
  4. What’s a monster’s favorite subject in school? “Scare”-onomics!
  5. Why did the monster become a detective? Because it had a keen “eye” for detail!
  6. What did the monster say to the mathematician? “I’m a “mean” monster, can you find my average roar?”
  7. Why don’t monsters ever get lost? Because they always have a “ghoul”-ide!
  8. What’s a monster’s favorite type of art? “Scream”-pressionism!
  9. Why did the monster bring a calculator to the party? It wanted to make sure the scare tactics added up!
  10. Why was the monster such a good writer? Because it had a knack for “night”-ingale prose!
  11. What did the monster say to the doctor? “I’ve got a “monster” headache, can you prescribe some “boos”?”
  12. Why don’t monsters play hide and seek in the forest? Because they always get “tree”-mendously lost!
  13. What’s a monster’s favorite game? “Scare”chess!
  14. Why did the monster go to the art gallery? It wanted to appreciate some “mon-stunning” paintings!
  15. What’s a monster’s favorite literary genre? “Horror”-ror novels!
  16. Why was the monster so good at gardening? It had a green “thumb”!
  17. What did the monster say to the comedian? “Your jokes are so funny, they’re “monstrous”!”
  18. Why did the monster become a scientist? It wanted to unravel the mysteries of “monst-erious” phenomena!
  19. What’s a monster’s favorite board game? “Terror”-forming Mars!
  20. Why did the monster go to the museum? It wanted to see some “prehistoric” monsters!
  1. Why did the monster bring a pencil to bed? In case it had to draw the curtains!
  2. What do you call a monster who loves to dance? The Boogie Monster!
  3. Why was the monster always invited to picnics? Because it was a “bite”-sized terror!
  4. How do monsters tell time? They look at their “boo”-tiful watches!
  5. Why don’t monsters eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
  6. What did the monster say when it lost its keys? “I’m a monster, not a locksmith!”
  7. Why did the monster sit on the clock? It wanted to be on “time” for scaring!
  8. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? “Scream” brulee!
  9. Why did the monster apply for a job at the bakery? It wanted to work the graveyard shift!
  10. How do monsters stay fit? They do the “frightening” workout!
  11. What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
  12. Why did the monster go to school? To improve its “scare-er” education!
  13. What did the monster say when it saw a ghost? “Nice sheet!”
  14. Why don’t monsters play hide and seek with ghosts? Because they always “haunt” them!
  15. Why did the monster bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the food was “to die for”!
  16. What’s a monster’s favorite snack? “Ghoul-ash”!
  17. How does a monster like its eggs? “Terri-fried”!
  18. Why did the monster go to therapy? It had too many “skeletons” in the closet!
  19. Why don’t monsters like rain? Because it dampens their spirits!
  20. What did the monster say to the refrigerator? “Stop freezing me out!”

  1. Why did the monster break up with his calculator? Because it couldn’t handle his monstrous long division!
  2. What did the monster say when it lost its way in the forest? “I’m just a-maze-ing at getting lost!”
  3. Why was the monster always invited to parties? Because he was a real scream!
  4. How does a monster like its eggs? Terri-fried!
  5. Why did the monster bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
  6. Why don’t monsters ever play hide and seek with mountains? Because the mountains always peak!
  7. Why did the monster bring a spoon to the Halloween party? Because he heard there would be a ghoulish soup!
  8. What did one monster say to the other when they found a haunted house? “Looks like we’ve got a new terror-tory!”
  9. Why did the monster bring a broom to the graveyard? Because he heard it was a dead sweep!
  10. How do monsters like their steak cooked? A little on the rare side!
  11. Why don’t monsters eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
  12. What do you call a monster who loves to dance? The boogie monster!
  13. Why was the monster always invited to movie nights? Because he was a reel hit!
  14. Why did the monster bring a map to the party? Because he heard they were going to have a monster mash!
  15. Why don’t monsters eat ghosts? Because they can’t stomach the sheets!
  16. What did the monster say when he lost his shoes? “I’m feeling a little soul-less!”
  17. Why did the monster go to the dentist? To improve his fang-cy smile!
  18. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? Eye scream!
  19. Why did the monster bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he could sleep!
  20. What’s a monster’s favorite board game? Operation – it’s a real scream when someone gets buzzed!
  1. Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks? Because he always ate one!
  2. What’s a monster’s favorite bedtime story? Frankenstein’s Teddy Bear Picnic!
  3. Why did the monster kid bring a ladder to school? Because he heard grades were on the high rise!
  4. How do monster kids count to twenty? On their fingers, toes, and extra claws!
  5. Why did the monster kid bring a suitcase to the playground? Because he wanted to pack a lunch!
  6. What did the monster kid say when he saw his reflection? “Oh no, I’m turning into my parents!”
  7. Why don’t monster kids eat their vegetables? Because they prefer their food to be a little more… alive!
  8. Why did the monster kid sit in the corner with a candle? Because he was afraid of the dark… and the light!
  9. What’s a monster kid’s favorite subject in school? Gory-ography!
  10. Why did the monster kid take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
  11. What’s a monster kid’s favorite game at recess? Dodge the angry villagers!
  12. Why did the monster kid wear sunglasses to school? Because he didn’t want anyone to see him turning into a bat during math class!
  13. What’s a monster kid’s favorite song? “Monster Mash-Up”!
  14. Why did the monster kid bring a map to the library? Because he heard they had a book on how to find your way out of mazes!
  15. What did the monster kid say when he lost his homework? “I think the dog-monster ate it… or maybe the cat-monster…”
  16. Why don’t monster kids play tag in the graveyard? Because it’s too easy to get buried alive!
  17. What did the monster kid say when he heard a funny joke? “That’s hilarious… I think I’ll use it to scare my little sister later!”
  18. Why did the monster kid bring a umbrella to school? Because he heard it was going to rain… frogs and toads!
  19. What’s a monster kid’s favorite sport? Scream soccer!
  20. Why did the monster kid bring a pillow to the zoo? Because he wanted to have a “monstrously” good nap!

  1. Why did the monster couple go to couples therapy? Because they were having a “monstrous” communication breakdown!
  2. What did the monster husband say to his wife when she asked for a hug? “I’d love to, but I might accidentally squeeze you to death!”
  3. Why did the monster wife refuse to go to the beach? Because she didn’t want to scare away all the beach-goers!
  4. Why did the monster husband bring a shovel to bed? Because he heard his wife was digging for compliments!
  5. What’s a monster’s favorite type of music? Rock and Ghoul!
  6. Why did the monster couple go to marriage counseling? Because their relationship was on the “brink of extinction”!
  7. What did the monster husband say when his wife asked him to take out the trash? “Sure, but it might take a few days… I’m still digesting last week’s meal!”
  8. Why did the monster wife refuse to go to the fancy restaurant? Because she didn’t want to make a scene… literally!
  9. What did the monster husband give his wife for their anniversary? A coffin-shaped jewelry box!
  10. Why did the monster couple decide to have a destination wedding? Because they wanted to tie the noose in style!
  11. What’s a monster’s favorite holiday? Halloween, of course – it’s when they feel most “normal”!
  12. Why did the monster wife bring a mirror to bed? So her husband could see her “monstrous” beauty in the dark!
  13. What did the monster husband say when his wife asked if she looked fat? “Of course not, darling… you look deliciously terrifying!”
  14. Why did the monster couple decide to renew their vows? Because they wanted to promise to haunt each other forever!
  15. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? Ghoulash!
  16. Why did the monster husband bring a first aid kit on their date night? Because he knew things might get a little… hairy!
  17. What did the monster wife say to her husband when he forgot their anniversary? “That’s okay, I’ll just eat you instead!”
  18. Why did the monster couple go to a haunted house for their honeymoon? Because they wanted to feel right at home!
  19. What’s a monster’s favorite movie genre? Scream-fic!
  20. Why did the monster husband bring a coffin to the costume party? Because he wanted to make sure they had a place to rest if the party got too “dead”!
  1. Why did the monster dad bring a ladder to the barbecue? Because he heard the steaks were on the roof!
  2. Why was the monster dad always good at telling jokes? Because he had a “monstrous” sense of humor!
  3. What did the monster dad say when his kid asked for a bedtime story? “Once upon a howl, in a castle so scary…”
  4. Why did the monster dad take his family to the petting zoo? Because he wanted to show them where he grew up!
  5. Why was the monster dad always calm during thunderstorms? Because he knew it was just his relatives bowling in the clouds!
  6. What’s a monster dad’s favorite snack? Pop-scare-corn!
  7. Why did the monster dad bring a map to the amusement park? Because he heard there were “scream-worthy” attractions!
  8. What did the monster dad say when his kid asked for a piggyback ride? “Sure, but hold on tight… my back tends to grow extra spikes when I’m excited!”
  9. Why did the monster dad refuse to go to the dentist? Because he was afraid they’d fill his cavities with spider webs!
  10. What’s a monster dad’s favorite dance move? The Monster Mash, of course!
  11. Why did the monster dad bring a spare set of bolts to the picnic? In case anyone needed a “recharge”!
  12. What did the monster dad say when his kid complained about monsters under the bed? “Don’t worry, they’re just paying rent!”
  13. Why did the monster dad bring a flashlight to the movie theater? Because he wanted to shed some light on the situation!
  14. What’s a monster dad’s favorite type of music? Rock and Howl!
  15. Why did the monster dad bring a shovel to the family reunion? Because he heard it was going to be a “grave” occasion!
  16. What did the monster dad say when his kid asked why they had to eat their vegetables? “Because they help you grow big and strong, just like me!”
  17. Why did the monster dad bring a spare door to the camping trip? In case they needed to “monster-proof” their tent!
  18. What’s a monster dad’s favorite sport? Scare-racing!
  19. Why did the monster dad bring a mirror to the beach? Because he wanted to make sure he didn’t frighten anyone with his tan!
  20. What did the monster dad say when his kid asked where babies come from? “From the stork… or maybe the swamp, I’m not entirely sure!”

  1. Why did the monster apply for a job at the bakery? Because it wanted to make dough, not scarecrow!
  2. What do you call a monster who loves to dance? The boogie-monster!
  3. Why don’t monsters eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
  4. How does a monster like its eggs? Terri-fried!
  5. Why did the monster go to school? To improve its ghoulish grades!
  6. What did the monster say to its sweetheart? You make my heart beat like a horror movie soundtrack!
  7. Why did the monster bring a ladder to the party? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
  8. Why don’t monsters play hide and seek in the forest? Too many logs to deal with!
  9. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? Ice-scream!
  10. How does a monster like its steak cooked? A little on the rare side…of the cemetery!
  11. Why did the monster go to the doctor? It was coffin’ too much!
  12. What did the monster say when it lost its way? “I’m totally dis-maze-d!”
  13. Why did the monster become a musician? Because it had a lot of soul…and a few extra arms!
  14. Why don’t monsters like fast food? They prefer slow-moving meals!
  15. What do you get when you cross a monster with a snowman? Frost-bite!
  16. Why did the monster break up with its girlfriend? She just wasn’t his “type”!
  17. What’s a monster’s favorite game? Swallow the leader!
  18. Why did the monster bring a spoon to the graveyard? It heard the food was to die for!
  19. What’s a monster’s favorite song? “Thriller” by Michael Scare-son!
  20. Why don’t monsters ride bicycles? They’re too tired to pedal!

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