20 Hilarious Harmony Jokes to Make Your Day

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20 Hilarious Harmony Jokes to Make Your Day

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  1. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear!
  2. Why don’t skeletons play music in church? They have no organs.
  3. Why was the musician arrested? He got caught with too many beats.
  4. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.
  5. Why did the scarecrow become a successful musician? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  6. How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue.
  7. Why did the music teacher go to jail? She got caught in treble.
  8. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa!
  9. Why did the guitarist get locked out of his house? He forgot his keys.
  10. What’s a pirate’s favorite musical note? The high C.
  11. Why did the singer climb the ladder? To reach the high notes.
  12. What do you call a musical insect? A humbug.
  13. Why did the trumpet player get kicked out of band class? Because he was blowing his own horn.
  14. What is a mummy’s favorite music? Wrap music.
  15. Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? To get away from the noise.
  16. How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs.
  17. Why did the drummer sit on the suitcase? Because he wanted to beat the luggage.
  18. What’s a musician’s favorite type of note? A bank note.
  19. Why did the music store close down? It couldn’t keep up with the keys.
  20. How do you organize a space party? You planet, but make sure to bring the bass.

  1. Teacher: “Johnny, why are you late?” Little Johnny: “Because of the sign.” Teacher: “What sign?” Little Johnny: “The one that says, ‘School ahead, go slow.'”
  2. Teacher: “Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?” Little Johnny: “Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.”
  3. Little Johnny: “Mom, can I get a new bike?” Mom: “What’s wrong with the one you have?” Little Johnny: “It’s not working well with the training wheels on my new car.”
  4. Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.'” Little Johnny: “I is…” Teacher: “No, Johnny. Always say, ‘I am.'” Little Johnny: “All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
  5. Teacher: “If you had 10 dollars and I asked you for a loan of 5 dollars, how many dollars would you have left?” Little Johnny: “10.”
  6. Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?” Little Johnny: “A teacher.”
  7. Little Johnny: “Dad, I got a part in the school play.” Dad: “What part?” Little Johnny: “I play the husband.” Dad: “Go back and tell them you want a speaking role!”
  8. Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny: “H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.” Teacher: “What are you talking about?” Little Johnny: “You said it’s H to O!”
  9. Teacher: “Johnny, why didn’t you do your homework?” Little Johnny: “I made it into a paper plane and it didn’t come back.”
  10. Little Johnny: “Mom, is it true that you can’t get sick from the cold?” Mom: “Yes, that’s true.” Little Johnny: “Then why do people go to the doctor when they catch a cold?”
  11. Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?” Little Johnny: “One dollar.” Teacher: “You don’t know your math.” Little Johnny: “You don’t know my father!”
  12. Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me where the Declaration of Independence was signed?” Little Johnny: “Yes, at the bottom.”
  13. Teacher: “Johnny, how do you spell ‘crocodile’?” Little Johnny: “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.” Teacher: “No, that’s wrong.” Little Johnny: “Maybe it is, but you asked how I spell it.”
  14. Teacher: “Why are you late?” Little Johnny: “Because I started school late this morning.”
  15. Teacher: “If you have five apples and you give away three, how many do you have left?” Little Johnny: “Five, because I don’t share my apples.”
  16. Teacher: “Johnny, why do you always write your answers in the bottom right corner of your test paper?” Little Johnny: “Because you said that’s where the answers are!”
  17. Teacher: “Why are you doing your math problems on the floor?” Little Johnny: “You told me to do it without using tables.”
  18. Teacher: “Johnny, if you don’t know the answer, just say ‘I don’t know.’ Who was the first president of the United States?” Little Johnny: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Correct!”
  19. Teacher: “Johnny, why are you staring at the orange juice container?” Little Johnny: “Because it says ‘concentrate.'”
  20. Teacher: “If I had eight oranges in one hand and ten apples in the other, what would I have?” Little Johnny: “Big hands!”

  1. Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me where the Declaration of Independence was signed?” Little Johnny: “At the bottom.”
  2. Little Johnny: “Mom, can I have a glass of water?” Mom: “Why, you’ve already had ten!” Little Johnny: “I know, but my room is still on fire!”
  3. Teacher: “Johnny, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly like your brother’s. Did you copy?” Little Johnny: “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”
  4. Teacher: “Why did you bring a ladder to school?” Little Johnny: “I wanted to go to high school.”
  5. Teacher: “If you have five apples and you give away three, how many do you have left?” Little Johnny: “Five. I’m not giving away my apples.”
  6. Teacher: “Why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?” Little Johnny: “You told me not to use tables.”
  7. Little Johnny: “Mom, I’m going to be a comedian when I grow up!” Mom: “Why is that?” Little Johnny: “Because my teacher says I’m a joke!”
  8. Teacher: “If you had a dollar and you asked your dad for another, how many dollars would you have?” Little Johnny: “A dollar.” Teacher: “You don’t know your math.” Little Johnny: “You don’t know my dad!”
  9. Teacher: “Why are you late again, Johnny?” Little Johnny: “Because of a sign down the road.” Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with you being late?” Little Johnny: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
  10. Teacher: “Johnny, where’s your homework?” Little Johnny: “I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.”
  11. Teacher: “Why didn’t you finish your homework?” Little Johnny: “Because my dad didn’t have time to do it.”
  12. Little Johnny: “Dad, can I go to the zoo?” Dad: “Not today.” Little Johnny: “Why not? The animals won’t be there?”
  13. Teacher: “Johnny, why do you have cotton in your ears? Do you have an infection?” Little Johnny: “No, but you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other, so I’m trying to stop it.”
  14. Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people’s lives?” Little Johnny: “Drin-king, smo-king, and bon-king!”
  15. Little Johnny: “Mom, do you remember that vase in the dining room?” Mom: “Yes, what about it?” Little Johnny: “Good news, I fixed it!”
  16. Teacher: “Johnny, if you don’t know the answer just say ‘I don’t know.’ Who was the first President of the United States?” Little Johnny: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Correct!”
  17. Teacher: “What is the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny: “H I J K L M N O.” Teacher: “What are you talking about?” Little Johnny: “Yesterday you said it’s H to O!”
  18. Teacher: “Johnny, why are you standing on your chair?” Little Johnny: “I’m trying to reach new heights in education!”
  19. Teacher: “If you spell ‘mouse’ with four letters, how do you spell ‘cat’ with four letters?” Little Johnny: “C-A-T. I’m not stupid.”
  20. Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?” Little Johnny: “A teacher.”
  1. Little Johnny tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
  2. When Little Johnny’s teacher asked him where the English Channel was, he replied, “I think it’s on my TV remote.”
  3. Little Johnny thought a quarterback was a refund.
  4. Little Johnny asked his dad, “Can you put the cat out?” His dad replied, “I didn’t know it was on fire!”
  5. Little Johnny’s idea of a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  6. When Little Johnny was asked what comes after 69, he said, “Mouthwash.”
  7. Little Johnny tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
  8. Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she replied, “It’s ‘may I’.” He said, “But I want to!”
  9. Little Johnny told his mom he wanted to be a millionaire when he grew up. She replied, “Son, you have to choose one or the other.”
  10. Little Johnny’s idea of a ‘hard drive’ is going on a road trip with his parents.
  11. Little Johnny’s favorite way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line.
  12. Little Johnny said, “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
  13. When Little Johnny was asked to make a sentence using ‘beans,’ he replied, “I spill my beans every time I eat tacos.”
  14. Little Johnny thought the definition of ‘eternity’ was the time between when he went to bed and when he fell asleep.
  15. Little Johnny asked his dad if they could have a dog for Christmas. His dad replied, “No, you’ll have turkey like everyone else.”
  16. Little Johnny thought a solar eclipse was his father yelling at the sun for losing his glasses.
  17. When Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he got an ‘F’ in geography, he said, “Because it’s so far away from everything else!”
  18. Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could be punished for something he didn’t do. She said, “No, of course not.” He said, “Good, because I didn’t do my homework.”
  19. Little Johnny thought a joke about construction was tearable.
  20. When Little Johnny’s mom asked him why he was bouncing on the bed, he replied, “I want to be a kangaroo.”
  1. Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school? Because he heard the alphabet was up there!
  2. What did Little Johnny say when asked why he brought a snowboard to class? “I heard the teacher was going to chill us out!”
  3. Why did Little Johnny bring a mirror to school? Because the teacher said it’s good to reflect on your mistakes!
  4. How did Little Johnny react when he found out his pencil was broken? He just couldn’t “draw” any conclusions!
  5. Why did Little Johnny take a ladder and a hammer to math class? Because he heard they were going to work on some “high-level” problems!
  6. What did Little Johnny do when he found out his pencil was missing? He couldn’t “write” without it!
  7. Why did Little Johnny bring a flashlight to school? Because he wanted to brighten up his day!
  8. Why did Little Johnny bring a magnet to class? Because the teacher said there would be a lot of attraction!
  9. How did Little Johnny react when he found out his eraser was gone? He rubbed it off as a mistake!
  10. Why did Little Johnny bring a baseball bat to school? Because he heard they were going to have a “hit” parade!
  11. What did Little Johnny say when he forgot his backpack? “I guess I’m carrying the weight of my forgetfulness!”
  12. Why did Little Johnny bring a camera to class? Because he wanted to capture the memories!
  13. What did Little Johnny say when he accidentally ripped his homework? “Looks like it’s torn between worlds!”
  14. Why did Little Johnny bring a map to school? Because he wanted to find his way through the lessons!
  15. Why did Little Johnny bring a thermometer to class? Because he heard the teacher was going to take the temperature of the room!
  16. What did Little Johnny say when he spilled his juice all over his desk? “Looks like I’m soaking up knowledge!”
  17. Why did Little Johnny bring a calculator to school? Because he wanted to multiply his learning!
  18. What did Little Johnny do when he forgot his lunch? He said, “Looks like I’ll have to snack on some knowledge instead!”
  19. Why did Little Johnny bring a magnifying glass to class? Because he wanted to enlarge his understanding!
  20. What did Little Johnny say when he forgot his pencil case? “Looks like I’m drawing a blank today!”

  1. Teacher: “Johnny, why didn’t you do your homework?” Little Johnny: “I did, but my pencil broke halfway through.”
  2. Little Johnny: “Mom, can I have a piece of cake?” Mom: “No, you already had two.” Little Johnny: “But pieces don’t have calories!”
  3. Teacher: “Johnny, what’s the capital of France?” Little Johnny: “F.”
  4. Teacher: “Why are you eating your homework?” Little Johnny: “Because you said it was a piece of cake!”
  5. Little Johnny: “Mom, can I have money for the school trip?” Mom: “No, I gave you enough last time.” Little Johnny: “But I spent it on a gift for you!”
  6. Teacher: “Johnny, where’s your history book?” Little Johnny: “I lost it fighting a kid who said you weren’t the best teacher.”
  7. Little Johnny: “Dad, I’m hungry.” Dad: “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.” Little Johnny: “No, I’m serious.” Dad: “I thought you were Hungry.”
  8. Teacher: “Johnny, what is the chemical symbol for water?” Little Johnny: “H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.” Teacher: “What are you talking about?” Little Johnny: “You said it’s H to O.”
  9. Little Johnny: “Mom, can I watch TV?” Mom: “After you clean your room.” Little Johnny: “I did.” Mom: “Okay, but if I find it messy, you’re grounded.” Little Johnny: “I better go clean it again.”
  10. Teacher: “If you had three apples and four oranges, how many pieces of fruit would you have?” Little Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Good job, Johnny!” Little Johnny: “And if I ate two apples, I’d have fewer calories.”
  11. Little Johnny: “Mom, do you know the story about the broken pencil?” Mom: “No, what happened?” Little Johnny: “Never mind, it’s pointless.”
  12. Teacher: “Johnny, can you name the three branches of government?” Little Johnny: “Branches? I didn’t know the government was a tree!”
  13. Teacher: “Johnny, why are you sleeping in class?” Little Johnny: “Because your voice is so soothing.”
  14. Teacher: “Johnny, what comes after ten?” Little Johnny: “Jack.”
  15. Teacher: “Why did you put your math book in the freezer?” Little Johnny: “To have some cool problems.”
  16. Teacher: “Johnny, why did you bring a ladder to school?” Little Johnny: “I wanted to go to high school.”
  17. Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me what an organism is?” Little Johnny: “Sure, it’s the best way to wake up!”
  18. Little Johnny: “Dad, can you do my homework for me?” Dad: “I’m sorry, it wouldn’t be right.” Little Johnny: “Well, at least you could try.”
  19. Teacher: “Johnny, what’s the past tense of ‘I buy’?” Little Johnny: “‘I bought.'” Teacher: “What’s the past tense of ‘I bring’?” Little Johnny: “‘I brang.'” Teacher: “No, it’s ‘I brought.'” Little Johnny: “No wonder I failed grammar!”
  20. Teacher: “Johnny, where’s your book report?” Little Johnny: “My dog ate it.” Teacher: “You don’t have a dog.” Little Johnny: “Well, it was worth a try.”

  1. Why did Little Johnny bring a dictionary to school? Because he wanted to expand his vocabulary, not just his waistline!
  2. What did Little Johnny say when asked why he brought a telescope to class? “I’m aiming for the stars, even if they’re just on the blackboard!”
  3. Why did Little Johnny bring a stopwatch to school? Because he wanted to learn how to “stop” time during boring lessons!
  4. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a compass to class? “I’m just trying to find my way through the maze of education!”
  5. Why did Little Johnny bring a notepad to school? Because he believed every great idea starts with a scribble!
  6. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a globe to class? “I’m just trying to get a grasp on the world, one spin at a time!”
  7. Why did Little Johnny bring a ruler to school? Because he believed in measuring success, one inch at a time!
  8. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a compass to class? “I’m just trying to navigate through the sea of knowledge!”
  9. Why did Little Johnny bring a calculator to school? Because he wanted to calculate his odds of surviving the day without homework!
  10. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a protractor to class? “I’m just trying to measure the angles of enlightenment!”
  11. Why did Little Johnny bring a microscope to school? Because he wanted to see the tiny details in every lesson!
  12. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a map to class? “I’m just trying to chart my course through the ocean of learning!”
  13. Why did Little Johnny bring a compass to school? Because he wanted to find his true north in education!
  14. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a magnifying glass to class? “I’m just trying to amplify my understanding of the world!”
  15. Why did Little Johnny bring a calculator to school? Because he believed in crunching numbers, not dreams!
  16. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a globe to class? “I’m just trying to wrap my mind around the whole world of knowledge!”
  17. Why did Little Johnny bring a dictionary to school? Because he knew that words were the building blocks of wisdom!
  18. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a compass to class? “I’m just trying to find my true direction in education!”
  19. Why did Little Johnny bring a ruler to school? Because he believed in measuring his progress, inch by inch!
  20. What did Little Johnny say when he brought a calculator to class? “I’m just trying to add up all the knowledge!”
  1. Little Johnny tried to catch some fog yesterday. Mist.
  2. Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
  3. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had five apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Little Johnny replied, “Five.”
  4. What did Little Johnny do when he found out his pencil was broken? He used his “pencil-lid-ity.”
  5. Little Johnny told his teacher he could spell his name backward. The teacher asked, “What’s your name backward?” Little Johnny replied, “Y not.”
  6. Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
  7. Little Johnny’s math teacher called him average. He thought it was mean!
  8. What did Little Johnny say when he lost his homework? “It’s not my fault, it was kidnapped!”
  9. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “Why are you late?” Little Johnny replied, “Because of the sign.” The teacher asked, “What sign?” Little Johnny said, “The one that says, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!'”
  10. Why did Little Johnny bring a mirror to the party? Because he heard it was a reflection of a good time!
  11. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you have one dollar and you ask your father for another, how many dollars would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “One dollar.” The teacher asked, “Why?” Little Johnny said, “Because my dad wouldn’t give me any!”
  12. Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the desert? Because he heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
  13. Little Johnny asked his dad, “Can you write in the dark?” His dad replied, “I think so. What do you want me to write?” Little Johnny said, “Your name on this report card.”
  14. Why did Little Johnny wear his fishing pants to school? Because he expected some reel attention!
  15. Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What’s the chemical formula for water?” Little Johnny replied, “H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.” The teacher asked, “What are you talking about?” Little Johnny said, “Yesterday you said it’s H to O!”
  16. Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he wanted to check out the high shelves!
  17. Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?” Little Johnny replied, “You told me not to use tables.”
  18. Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the zoo? Because he heard the giraffes were looking for someone to talk to!
  19. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If I gave you two cats and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Seven.” The teacher asked, “Where do you get seven from?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I’ve already got a cat!”
  20. Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the concert? Because he heard the music was off the charts!
  1. Teacher: “Johnny, how can you prove the earth is round?” Little Johnny: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
  2. Little Johnny: “Mom, can you give me $20?” Mom: “Does it look like I’m made of money?” Little Johnny: “Well, isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”
  3. Teacher: “Johnny, why are you staring at the clock?” Little Johnny: “Because I want to see time fly!”
  4. Teacher: “If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight in the other, what would I have?” Little Johnny: “Really big hands!”
  5. Teacher: “Why do you always get so dirty?” Little Johnny: “Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.”
  6. Teacher: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny: “A doctor.” Teacher: “Why?” Little Johnny: “Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and not get slapped.”
  7. Teacher: “Johnny, please use the word ‘certainly’ in a sentence.” Little Johnny: “Ma’am, I can certainly try!”
  8. Little Johnny: “I don’t want to go to school.” Mom: “But you have to, Johnny.” Little Johnny: “Give me two good reasons.” Mom: “First, you’re 35. Second, you’re the principal.”
  9. Little Johnny: “Dad, I got 100 in school today!” Dad: “That’s great, Johnny! What in?” Little Johnny: “A 40 in Math, a 30 in English, and a 30 in Science.”
  10. Teacher: “Johnny, your essay on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy?” Little Johnny: “No, teacher, we have the same dog!”
  11. Teacher: “How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?” Little Johnny: “I get up early.”
  12. Little Johnny: “Mom, can I get a cat?” Mom: “No, you’re allergic to cats.” Little Johnny: “Then can I get an allergy?”
  13. Teacher: “Johnny, why do you always write your answers in the bottom right corner of your test paper?” Little Johnny: “Because you said that’s where the answers are!”
  14. Little Johnny: “Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?” Dad: “No.” Little Johnny: “Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!”
  15. Teacher: “Why are you always so happy in the morning, Johnny?” Little Johnny: “Because I know something you don’t.” Teacher: “What’s that?” Little Johnny: “I’m not going to school tomorrow.”
  16. Teacher: “Johnny, how do you spell ‘crocodile’?” Little Johnny: “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.” Teacher: “No, that’s wrong.” Little Johnny: “Maybe it is, but you asked how I spell it.”
  17. Teacher: “Johnny, if you had five apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Little Johnny: “Five. I don’t share apples.”
  18. Teacher: “Why is your math book so sad?” Little Johnny: “Because it has too many problems.”
  19. Little Johnny: “Mom, if the house was on fire, which would you save first, the dog or the cake?” Mom: “The dog, of course.” Little Johnny: “Then why did you bake the cake first?”
  20. Teacher: “If you had ten chocolate bars and someone took three, what would you have?” Little Johnny: “Ten chocolate bars and a very mean friend.”

“20 Hilarious Tales of Mischievous Johnny”

  1. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him to use the word “definitely” in a sentence. He replied, “Do farts have lumps?” The teacher said, “No.” Johnny said, “Then I’ve definitely pooped my pants.”
  2. Teacher: “Why are you late, Johnny?” Little Johnny: “Because of the sign.” Teacher: “What sign?” Little Johnny: “The one that says, ‘School ahead, go slow.'”
  3. Teacher: “Johnny, why are you doing your math homework on the floor?” Little Johnny: “You told me to do it without using tables.”
  4. Little Johnny: “Mom, do you know that the neighbor gave me 50 dollars just to help him find his dog?” Mom: “That’s great! Did you help him?” Little Johnny: “Nope. I just hid his dog.”
  5. Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.'” Little Johnny: “I is…” Teacher: “No, Johnny. Always say ‘I am.'” Little Johnny: “All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
  6. Little Johnny: “Dad, can you write in the dark?” Dad: “I think so. What do you want me to write?” Little Johnny: “Your name on this report card.”
  7. Teacher: “Johnny, why didn’t you do your homework?” Little Johnny: “Because I don’t have a pencil.” Teacher: “Why didn’t you sharpen it?” Little Johnny: “Because I don’t have a sharpener.”
  8. Little Johnny: “Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.” Mom: “Well, you did the right thing.” Little Johnny: “But I was sitting on Daddy’s lap!”
  9. Teacher: “Johnny, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?” Little Johnny: “No, teacher, it’s the same dog!”
  10. Little Johnny: “Grandma, make a noise like a frog.” Grandma: “Why, Johnny?” Little Johnny: “Because Dad said, ‘When Grandma croaks, we’ll be rich!'”
  11. Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?” Little Johnny: “One dollar.” Teacher: “You don’t know your math.” Little Johnny: “You don’t know my dad!”
  12. Little Johnny: “Can I go to the bathroom?” Teacher: “Say your ABCs first.” Little Johnny: “Okay, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.” Teacher: “Where’s the P?” Little Johnny: “Running down my leg.”
  13. Little Johnny: “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” Dad: “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
  14. Teacher: “Johnny, where’s your homework?” Little Johnny: “I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.”
  15. Teacher: “Why are you reading the last page of your history book first?” Little Johnny: “I want to see how it ends.”
  16. Little Johnny’s mom: “Johnny, why is there a strange baby in the crib?” Little Johnny: “You said you wanted a baby brother, so I brought one from the park.”
  17. Teacher: “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?” Little Johnny: “A teacher.”
  18. Little Johnny: “Mom, is it true that carrots are good for your eyesight?” Mom: “Yes, Johnny, that’s true.” Little Johnny: “Then how come I see so many dead rabbits on the road?”
  19. Teacher: “Johnny, why is your cat at school today?” Little Johnny: “Because I heard my dad tell my mom, ‘I’m going to eat that p**** once Johnny leaves for school.'”
  20. Teacher: “Why did you eat your homework, Johnny?” Little Johnny: “Because I don’t have a dog.”
  1. Little Johnny decided he wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up. So, he went to his dad and said, “Dad, I want to go to space!” His dad replied, “Sure, Johnny, but you have to study hard and get good grades.” Little Johnny thought for a moment and said, “But dad, do I have to bring my grades all the way to the moon?”
  2. Little Johnny’s teacher asked the class, “If you had a dollar and you asked your dad for another dollar, how much would you have?” Little Johnny raised his hand and said, “I’d have two dollars.” The teacher looked puzzled and asked, “How?” Little Johnny replied, “I’d have one dollar and a dad who would give me another!”
  3. One day, Little Johnny went fishing with his grandpa. They sat quietly for hours until Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, do you think we’ll catch any fish?” His grandpa smiled and said, “I don’t know, Johnny, but we sure are making a lot of memories.” Little Johnny thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, but I’d rather make fish sticks!”
  4. Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why did you get in trouble at school today?” Little Johnny sighed and said, “Well, the teacher asked what comes after 69, and I said, ‘Mouthwash!'”
  5. Little Johnny was playing with his toy trains when his mom asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny replied, “I want to be a train conductor!” His mom smiled and asked, “Why is that?” Little Johnny said, “So I can make all the stops!”
  6. Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you eat all the cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “I wanted to find the chocolate chip that made them taste so good!”
  7. Little Johnny went to the zoo and saw a sign that said, “Don’t feed the animals.” So, he went home and told his mom, “I didn’t feed the animals, but they sure look hungry!”
  8. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What’s the capital of France?” Little Johnny replied, “F.” The teacher asked, “What do you mean, ‘F’?” Little Johnny said, “Well, every time my mom makes a mistake, she says ‘F’!”
  9. Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why did you put your shoes in the refrigerator?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to have cold feet!”
  10. Little Johnny asked his dad, “Dad, can you write in the dark?” His dad replied, “I think so, why?” Little Johnny said, “Great! Then, turn off the light and sign my report card!”
  11. Little Johnny’s grandma asked him, “Why are you wearing your pants backward?” Little Johnny replied, “Because my teacher said the party is behind me!”
  12. Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you bring a ladder to school?” Little Johnny replied, “Because my teacher said the sky’s the limit!”
  13. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What’s the largest city in the world?” Little Johnny replied, “Electricity!” The teacher asked, “What do you mean?” Little Johnny said, “Well, last night, I heard my dad tell my mom, ‘When the electricity comes, we can go wherever we want!'”
  14. Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why did you take the car keys?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to drive to the moon!” His mom laughed and asked, “Why the moon?” Little Johnny said, “Because I heard they have a ‘full’ service gas station there!”
  15. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If you had one dollar and you asked your mom for another, how many dollars would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “One dollar.” The teacher asked, “Why?” Little Johnny said, “Because my mom wouldn’t give me any!”
  16. Little Johnny’s dad asked him, “Why did you jump into the pool with your clothes on?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to test if they were waterproof!”
  17. Little Johnny’s grandma asked him, “Why did you put peanut butter on the TV?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to watch ‘Jellyvision’!”
  18. Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can you give me a punishment for something I didn’t do?” The teacher replied, “Of course not, Johnny!” Little Johnny sighed and said, “Good, because I didn’t do my homework!”
  19. Little Johnny’s mom asked him, “Why did you bring a ladder to bed?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I wanted to climb to sleep!”
  20. Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What’s the secret to success?” Little Johnny replied, “Failure!” The teacher asked, “Why failure?” Little Johnny said, “Because every time I fail, my mom tells me, ‘You’re going to be a great success!'”
  1. Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
  2. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his pencil was broken? “Guess I’ll never get the point!”
  3. Why did Little Johnny bring a mirror to the park? So he could play doubles in tennis!
  4. What did Little Johnny do when he saw a banana peel on the sidewalk? He split!
  5. Why did Little Johnny take a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
  6. What did Little Johnny do when he found a green potato in his lunch? He said, “I think my lunch is a little under the weather!”
  7. Why did Little Johnny bring a baseball bat to bed? Because he wanted to hit the sack!
  8. What did Little Johnny say when he finished his puzzle in one day? “I guess I’m just a piece of work!”
  9. Why did Little Johnny take a broom to school? Because he wanted to sweep the teacher off her feet!
  10. What did Little Johnny do when he saw a sign that said “Wet Floor”? He laughed and said, “So is the floor planning to take a shower?”
  11. Why did Little Johnny take a ruler to bed? Because he wanted to see how long he slept!
  12. What did Little Johnny say when he accidentally swallowed some food coloring? “I think I’m going to dye!”
  13. Why did Little Johnny bring a calendar to the football game? Because he wanted to see how much time was left!
  14. What did Little Johnny say when he found a quarter on the ground? “I guess I’m a little richer now!”
  15. Why did Little Johnny take a pencil sharpener to the zoo? Because he wanted to see the elephants’ trunks!
  16. What did Little Johnny say when he saw a bee on his sandwich? “Buzz off, this is my lunch!”
  17. Why did Little Johnny bring a suitcase to school? Because he heard it was a case of emergency!
  18. What did Little Johnny do when he heard a joke about pizza? He said, “That’s too cheesy for me!”
  19. Why did Little Johnny take a watch to the dentist? Because he wanted to have a tooth in time!
  20. What did Little Johnny say when he accidentally bumped into a cactus? “Ouch! That’s a little prickly!”

“20 More Hilarious Adventures of Mischievous Johnny”

  1. Why did Little Johnny bring a map to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house, and he wanted to find his way home!
  2. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his girlfriend was a baker? “I guess I’ll be getting a lot of buns in the oven!”
  3. Why did Little Johnny bring a pillow to the party? Because he heard it was going to be a pillow fight!
  4. What did Little Johnny do when he heard about a speed dating event? He brought a stopwatch!
  5. Why did Little Johnny take a snorkel to the office? Because he heard his boss was drowning in paperwork!
  6. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his friend was a plumber? “I guess you’re used to dealing with a lot of pipes!”
  7. Why did Little Johnny bring a camera to the dance? Because he wanted to capture every move!
  8. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his neighbor was a gardener? “I hope you don’t mind a little weeding!”
  9. Why did Little Johnny take a telescope to the beach? Because he wanted to see if he could spot some “shooting stars”!
  10. What did Little Johnny do when he heard his friend was a masseuse? He asked for a “hands-on” demonstration!
  11. Why did Little Johnny bring a tape measure to the gym? Because he wanted to measure his gains!
  12. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his date was a chef? “Looks like I’m in for a delicious night!”
  13. Why did Little Johnny take a calculator to the party? Because he heard they were going to divide the bill evenly!
  14. What did Little Johnny do when he heard his friend was a pilot? He asked for a “lift”!
  15. Why did Little Johnny bring a compass to the concert? Because he wanted to make sure he found the right direction for the mosh pit!
  16. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his co-worker was a magician? “I hope you can make this workload disappear!”
  17. Why did Little Johnny take a notebook to the beach? Because he wanted to write some “seasational” poetry!
  18. What did Little Johnny do when he heard his friend was a mechanic? He asked if he could “rev his engine”!
  19. Why did Little Johnny bring a passport to the club? Because he heard it was going to be an international night!
  20. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his date was a lifeguard? “Looks like I’ll be drowning in your love!”
  1. Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the library? Because he heard the books were over his head!
  2. What did Little Johnny say when he saw a spider in the house? “Looks like we have a new roommate!”
  3. Why did Little Johnny take a pillow to the movie theater? Because he heard it was a “dream” movie!
  4. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his favorite restaurant closed down? “Guess I’ll have to find a new place to eat my feelings!”
  5. Why did Little Johnny bring a shovel to the beach? Because he wanted to dig for buried treasure!
  6. What did Little Johnny say when he accidentally broke the vase? “Looks like we’re having a little DIY project!”
  7. Why did Little Johnny take a ruler to the party? Because he heard it was going to be a “measuring” success!
  8. What did Little Johnny do when he heard a knock-knock joke? He said, “Who’s there? Interrupting Little Johnny!”
  9. Why did Little Johnny bring a flashlight to bed? Because he wanted to have “bright” dreams!
  10. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his favorite store was having a sale? “Looks like it’s time for a shopping spree!”
  11. Why did Little Johnny take a magnifying glass to the park? Because he wanted to “zoom in” on nature!
  12. What did Little Johnny do when he heard a pun? He said, “That’s pun-derful!”
  13. Why did Little Johnny bring a map to school? Because he heard it was a “directions” class!
  14. What did Little Johnny say when he saw a cloud that looked like a dinosaur? “Looks like we’re in for a prehistoric day!”
  15. Why did Little Johnny take a camera to the family reunion? Because he wanted to capture all the “shutter” moments!
  16. What did Little Johnny say when he found out his dad was cooking dinner? “Looks like we’re in for a culinary adventure!”
  17. Why did Little Johnny bring a calendar to the playground? Because he wanted to schedule some playdates!
  18. What did Little Johnny do when he heard a funny joke? He said, “That really tickles my funny bone!”
  19. Why did Little Johnny take a thermometer to the pool? Because he wanted to check the “temperature” of the water!
  20. What did Little Johnny say when he saw a rainbow? “Looks like the sky is wearing its favorite colors!”
  1. Little Johnny asked his dad, “Can you write with a broken pencil?” His dad said, “No, it’s pointless.”
  2. During a math lesson, the teacher asked, “If I have five apples and you take away three, how many do you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Three.”
  3. Little Johnny came home and his mom asked, “What did you learn in school today?” He replied, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
  4. The teacher asked Little Johnny, “Why are you doing your math homework on the floor?” Johnny answered, “You told me not to use tables.”
  5. Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you get a zero on your test?” Johnny replied, “My answers were right, the teacher just disagreed.”
  6. During English class, the teacher asked Little Johnny, “Can you give me a sentence with the word ‘fascinate’?” Johnny said, “My shirt has ten buttons, but I can only fascinate.”
  7. Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What is the chemical formula for water?” Johnny replied, “H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.” The teacher said, “What are you talking about?” Johnny said, “You told us water was H to O.”
  8. Little Johnny’s mom said, “Why are you eating candy before dinner?” Johnny replied, “Because it’s dessert time somewhere in the world.”
  9. During a history lesson, the teacher asked Little Johnny, “Who signed the Declaration of Independence?” Johnny replied, “I don’t know, I wasn’t there.”
  10. Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Johnny, why are you late again?” Johnny replied, “I overslept.” The teacher asked, “You mean you need to sleep at home too?”
  11. The teacher asked Little Johnny to use the word ‘geometry’ in a sentence. Johnny said, “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, ‘Gee, I’m a tree!'”
  12. Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Why are you reading your homework to the cat?” Johnny replied, “Because you told me to read it to a purr-fect audience.”
  13. During science class, the teacher asked, “Why does the Earth rotate?” Little Johnny answered, “Because if it didn’t, we’d all fall off.”
  14. Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Why do we never tell secrets on a farm?” Johnny replied, “Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.”
  15. In art class, the teacher asked, “Why did you paint a picture of an elephant in the middle of the desert?” Johnny said, “Because it’s too hot for them to wear clothes.”
  16. Little Johnny’s dad asked, “Why did you eat your homework?” Johnny replied, “Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.”
  17. Little Johnny’s mom asked, “Why are you putting a blanket over your computer?” Johnny replied, “To keep it warm, it’s got a virus.”
  18. The teacher asked, “How do you spell ‘crocodile’?” Little Johnny replied, “K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.” The teacher said, “That’s wrong.” Johnny said, “Maybe, but you asked how I spell it.”
  19. Little Johnny asked his dad, “Can you give me some money for a haircut?” His dad replied, “Why? Your hair isn’t grown yet.”
  20. Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “Why do you always bring your homework to school late?” Johnny replied, “Because my dog runs slower than I do.”

“Another 20 Quirks of Tiny Johnny: A Pocket-Sized Riot!”

  1. Why did Little Johnny bring a block of cheese to the party? Because he wanted to be the “big cheese”!
  2. What did Little Johnny say when he saw a cheese grater? “Looks like it’s time to shred some jokes!”
  3. Why did Little Johnny take a slice of cheese to the gym? Because he heard it was “whey” too cheesy!
  4. What did Little Johnny say when he found cheese stuck to the ceiling? “Looks like we’re reaching new heights of cheesiness!”
  5. Why did Little Johnny bring cheese to the math class? Because he heard the teacher was saying it’s all about “adding more flavor”!
  6. What did Little Johnny say when he saw a mouse nibbling on cheese? “Looks like someone’s having a gouda time!”
  7. Why did Little Johnny take a cheese grater to the beach? Because he wanted to make some “sand-wiches”!
  8. What did Little Johnny say when he accidentally sat on a piece of cheese? “Well, that’s a little “cheddar” on my part!”
  9. Why did Little Johnny bring a wheel of cheese to the park? Because he wanted to “roll” in some cheesy fun!
  10. What did Little Johnny say when he saw a cheesy pickup line? “That’s nacho best effort!”
  11. Why did Little Johnny take cheese to the concert? Because he wanted to “brie” part of the music scene!
  12. What did Little Johnny say when he found cheese in his backpack? “Looks like I have a dairy important discovery!”
  13. Why did Little Johnny bring cheese to the basketball game? Because he wanted to “swish” some cheesy shots!
  14. What did Little Johnny say when he found cheese under his bed? “Looks like I have a little “bedder” snack for later!”
  15. Why did Little Johnny take cheese to the petting zoo? Because he heard the animals were “un-brie-lievable”!
  16. What did Little Johnny say when he found cheese in his shoes? “Looks like I’ve got some “sole” food!”
  17. Why did Little Johnny bring cheese to the party? Because he wanted to make it “feta-stic”!
  18. What did Little Johnny say when he found cheese in his backpack? “Looks like I’m carrying some extra “wheys”!”
  19. Why did Little Johnny take cheese to the art class? Because he wanted to add some “cheese-tails”!
  20. What did Little Johnny say when he found cheese in his coat pocket? “Looks like I’m prepared for a “gouda” day!”

“Tiny Johnny’s Last Laugh: Wrapping Up the Giggles!”

Join the chuckle convoy! For more rib-ticklers featuring Tiny Johnny, explore our laughter trove. Set sail on a voyage of hilarity with Little John, embark on a journey of jests with Johnny Junior, and revel in the mirthful antics of Wee Johnny. Don’t miss out on the giggles galore!

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