- The kind of guy who brings a portable charger to parties instead of snacks.
- The kind of guy who thinks a 10-minute conversation counts as deep emotional bonding.
- The kind of guy who believes his gym selfies are his greatest contribution to society.
- The kind of guy who uses “bro” as punctuation in every sentence.
- The kind of guy who thinks he’s a master chef because he can make toast without burning it.
- The kind of guy who wears sunglasses indoors and at night to “protect his eyes from the haters.”
- The kind of guy who considers himself a fashion icon because he matched his socks to his shirt once.
- The kind of guy who thinks holding the door open for two seconds entitles him to a Nobel Peace Prize.
- The kind of guy who names his biceps and refers to them as his “partners in crime.”
- The kind of guy who takes longer to do his hair than to respond to a text message.
- The kind of guy who measures his self-worth by the number of likes on his Instagram posts.
- The kind of guy who believes his horoscope dictates his life more than his own decisions.
- The kind of guy who thinks owning a plant makes him an environmental activist.
- The kind of guy who uses “YOLO” as justification for every reckless decision.
- The kind of guy who considers his fantasy football team more important than world politics.
- The kind of guy who thinks the gym is a suitable substitute for therapy.
- The kind of guy who spends more time perfecting his Fortnite dance moves than his actual dance skills.
- The kind of guy who believes wearing a fedora automatically makes him sophisticated.
- The kind of guy who’s convinced his pickup lines are pure poetry.
- The kind of guy who thinks a “dad bod” is just another term for “sex appeal.”
- The kind of guy who sets his alarm for 6 am and hits snooze until noon.
- The kind of guy who thinks he’s a comedian because he can recite every line from “The Office.”
- The kind of guy who wears socks with sandals and calls it a fashion statement.
- The kind of guy who takes longer to choose a Netflix movie than to watch it.
- The kind of guy who dances like no one’s watching, even though everyone’s watching and cringing.
- The kind of guy who thinks he’s a DIY expert but ends up calling a professional to fix his “repairs.”
- The kind of guy who believes he’s a connoisseur of fine dining because he can microwave a frozen dinner.
- The kind of guy who tries to impress people with his “deep” philosophical insights from YouTube videos.
- The kind of guy who thinks he’s a master of romance because he once bought flowers from a gas station.
- The kind of guy who considers himself a tech genius because he can reset the Wi-Fi router.
- The kind of guy who thinks he’s a smooth operator because he knows how to use emojis in every text message.
- The kind of guy who takes selfies in public places and pretends he’s not aware of the stares.
- The kind of guy who thinks he’s an expert on world affairs because he read a headline on Twitter.
- The kind of guy who believes his karaoke rendition of “Wonderwall” can heal broken hearts.
- The kind of guy who insists on telling “dad jokes” even though he’s not a dad and no one finds them funny.
- The kind of guy who thinks his cat is plotting world domination and shares conspiracy theories about it.
- The kind of guy who uses air quotes so frequently that he’s considering them for his next tattoo.
- The kind of guy who thinks he’s a detective because he once found his keys after 30 minutes of searching.
- The kind of guy who believes he’s a health guru because he drinks a kale smoothie once a month.
- The kind of guy who thinks his “dad bod” is just a warm-up for his eventual “father figure” status.
- The kind of guy who brings a compass to a grocery store because he heard they have good direction.
- The kind of guy who calls his pet fish “bait” because he’s always fishing for compliments.
- The kind of guy who wears sunglasses indoors because he’s shady.
- The kind of guy who buys a ladder to take his selfies to a higher level.
- The kind of guy who carries around a map of the world just in case someone asks him where he’s been all his life.
- The kind of guy who brings a spoon to a knife fight because he’s always ready for a stirring debate.
- The kind of guy who thinks “Ctrl + Alt + Delete” is the answer to all life’s problems.
- The kind of guy who wears a tie to the gym because he likes to “work out” his professional image.
- The kind of guy who puts his phone on airplane mode and expects it to fly.
- The kind of guy who asks for a “rain check” when it’s not even raining.
- The kind of guy who brings a pillow to a concert because he likes to rock and roll.
- The kind of guy who thinks a password is something you yell at your computer when it’s not working.
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel to a job interview because he heard it’s a deep conversation.
- The kind of guy who puts his car keys in the fridge to cool down his hot ride.
- The kind of guy who thinks a balanced diet means a burger in each hand.
- The kind of guy who brings a mirror to the beach to show the waves what they’re missing.
- The kind of guy who thinks “Bluetooth” is a dental condition.
- The kind of guy who carries around a plant for photosynthesis because he heard it’s a bright idea.
- The kind of guy who wears a belt with a watch on it because he likes to “waist” time.
- The kind of guy who brings a calculator to a party because he likes to crunch numbers.
- The kind of guy who brings a ladder to a bar because he heard the drinks are on the top shelf.
- The kind of guy who wears a raincoat indoors because he’s always prepared for a “shower” of compliments.
- The kind of guy who carries a map to the gym because he’s lost in his workout routine.
- The kind of guy who brings a pillow to a movie theater because he likes to dream big on the big screen.
- The kind of guy who wears sunglasses at night because he’s “blinded by the spotlight” of his own charisma.
- The kind of guy who thinks a “LAN party” is where you go to play hide and seek.
- The kind of guy who brings a snorkel to a pool party because he heard it’s a “deep” social event.
- The kind of guy who wears a suit to a barbecue because he’s all about that “grill” lifestyle.
- The kind of guy who brings a calculator to a date because he likes to “count” his blessings.
- The kind of guy who thinks “WiFi” is short for “Wireless Fidelity,” so he tries to be faithful to his internet connection.
- The kind of guy who brings a telescope to a fireworks show because he’s always looking for “star” attractions.
- The kind of guy who wears a tie to a beach party because he likes to “surf” the waves of fashion.
- The kind of guy who carries around a chessboard because he’s always ready for a “checkmate” moment.
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel in the bathtub because he likes to make a “splash.”
- The kind of guy who brings a compass to a picnic because he’s always “heading in the right direction” with his snacks.
- The kind of guy who wears a watch on each wrist because he likes to be “double” on time.
- The kind of guy who brings a ruler to a concert because he’s all about measuring the “decibels” of the music.
- The kind of guy who wears a backpack to a buffet because he’s ready to “pack” in the calories.
- The kind of guy who brings a fishing rod to a wedding because he’s always “angling” for a good time.
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel to a hot tub because he’s ready to dive into relaxation.
- The kind of guy who tried to catch fog yesterday but mist.
- The kind of guy who went to the doctor because he was feeling a little horse. The doctor told him he was just a little hoarse.
- The kind of guy who thought he could be a professional baker, but he couldn’t make enough dough.
- The kind of guy who told everyone he’s reading a book on anti-gravity, but it’s impossible to put down.
- The kind of guy who went to the zoo and saw a sign that said “Don’t feed the animals,” so he went home and ate his lunch.
- The kind of guy who tried to make a belt out of watches, but he realized it was a waist of time.
- The kind of guy who wanted to become a vegetarian, but he couldn’t find any vegetables he liked beef.
- The kind of guy who tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it was hard to find players who could hide well.
- The kind of guy who thought about becoming a baker, but he couldn’t make enough dough.
- The kind of guy who tried to become a professional fisherman, but he couldn’t live on his net income.
- The kind of guy who tried to become a comedian, but he just couldn’t get his jokes to land.
- The kind of guy who thought about becoming a baker, but he didn’t have enough knead for it.
- The kind of guy who went to the beach and tried to surf, but he got tide down.
- The kind of guy who tried to become a math teacher, but he couldn’t count on his students.
- The kind of guy who wanted to become a gardener, but he didn’t have enough thyme.
- The kind of guy who wanted to become a professional athlete, but he couldn’t get his life together to train.
- The kind of guy who tried to become a photographer, but he just couldn’t focus.
- The kind of guy who wanted to become a musician, but he couldn’t find the right note.
- The kind of guy who wanted to become a chef, but he couldn’t handle the heat in the kitchen.
- The kind of guy who wanted to become a painter, but he couldn’t brush up on his skills.
- The kind of guy who tried to teach his dog to bark in Spanish, but all it learned was “woof-hola.”
- The kind of guy who wears socks with sandals because he likes to keep his toes in suspense.
- The kind of guy who tried to make a snowman out of rain, but all he got was a wet hat.
- The kind of guy who brings a snorkel to a swimming pool because he heard it’s a deep end conversation.
- The kind of guy who thought he could fly by jumping off his bed with a cape, but he just ended up with a bump on his head.
- The kind of guy who tried to water his plants with sports drinks because he thought they needed electrolytes.
- The kind of guy who puts his alarm clock in the freezer so he can have a cool wake-up call.
- The kind of guy who brings a flashlight to the beach because he heard there might be a light breeze.
- The kind of guy who wears a tie to the playground because he likes to “swing” in style.
- The kind of guy who tries to take a selfie with a fish because he heard it’s the perfect catch.
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel to a job interview because he wants to dive into the opportunity.
- The kind of guy who brings a pillow to school because he’s always dreaming of a nap.
- The kind of guy who wears a backpack to a buffet because he’s always prepared for a food adventure.
- The kind of guy who brings a suitcase to the park because he’s ready for a trip down slide lane.
- The kind of guy who puts his homework in the fridge to cool down his brain after studying.
- The kind of guy who brings a map to the movies because he heard it’s a blockbuster.
- The kind of guy who wears a helmet to a party because he likes to protect his ideas.
- The kind of guy who brings a compass to a birthday party because he heard they have good direction.
- The kind of guy who brings a ruler to a concert because he wants to measure the sound waves.
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel to the library because he heard it’s a deep read.
- The kind of guy who brings a bottle opener to a wedding because he knows how to start a party.
- The kind of guy who wears a tie to a barbecue because he likes to “grill” in style.
- The kind of guy who tries to impress his date by ordering wine in sign language, but he ends up with a bottle of vinegar.
- The kind of guy who brings a notepad to a bar because he’s always jotting down “spirited” ideas.
- The kind of guy who brings a chessboard to a nightclub because he likes to make strategic moves.
- The kind of guy who wears a suit to a beach party because he’s “shore” of himself.
- The kind of guy who brings a briefcase to a coffee shop because he’s on a grind.
- The kind of guy who tries to impress his date with his knowledge of fine dining, but he ends up ordering “filet o’ fish” at a fancy restaurant.
- The kind of guy who brings a calculator to a dinner party because he likes to “sum” things up.
- The kind of guy who wears a fedora to a sports game because he’s a fan of “hat” tricks.
- The kind of guy who brings a book to a nightclub because he’s looking for a “novel” experience.
- The kind of guy who tries to impress his date with his cooking skills, but he sets off the fire alarm while making toast.
- The kind of guy who wears a monocle to a movie theater because he likes to “focus” on the details.
- The kind of guy who brings a map to a rooftop party because he likes to elevate the conversation.
- The kind of guy who tries to impress his date with his knowledge of art, but he mistakes a Picasso for a pizza.
- The kind of guy who wears a pocket square to a pool party because he likes to stay dry-humored.
- The kind of guy who brings a thesaurus to a bar because he likes to “expand” his vocabulary.
- The kind of guy who tries to impress his date with his fancy cocktail-making skills, but he ends up spilling the drinks all over the floor.
- The kind of guy who wears a suit to a hiking trip because he’s ready to “summit” the challenge.
- The kind of guy who brings a pen and paper to a wine tasting because he’s a connoisseur of notes.
- The kind of guy who wears socks with sandals and proudly proclaims, “I’m bringing back the sock-tan trend!”
- The kind of guy who tells everyone he’s reading a book on anti-gravity, but he just can’t seem to put it down.
- The kind of guy who orders a chicken and an egg online. He’ll let you know which comes first.
- The kind of guy who thinks a joke is a success if it makes him laugh, even if no one else does.
- The kind of guy who always carries a dad joke survival kit: a fanny pack filled with puns and a spare pair of New Balance sneakers.
- The kind of guy who puts his car keys in the fridge to cool down his “hot” ride.
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I’ll call you later,” and then pretends to dial a banana.
- The kind of guy who tells everyone he’s on a seafood diet. “I see food, and I eat it!”
- The kind of guy who brings a lawn chair to a concert because he likes to “rock” in comfort.
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I’m not just a dad; I’m a father figure… skater.”
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
- The kind of guy who wears a belt with a watch on it because he likes to “waist” time.
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, but it’s so uplifting!”
- The kind of guy who asks his kids if they’ve heard about the kidnapping at the playground. “It’s okay; he woke up.”
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that’s just nuts.”
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, but it’s impossible to put down.”
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity, but it’s really weighing me down.”
- The kind of guy who tells his kids, “I thought about going on a diet, but I’m just too heavy.”
- The kind of guy who brings a ladder to a bar because he heard the drinks are on the top shelf.
- The kind of guy who wears sunglasses at night because he’s too cool for the moonlight.
- The kind of guy who tells his friends he’s going to a seafood party, but he’s just going to “krill” time.
- The kind of guy who wears a cape to a job interview because he’s ready to “super” impress.
- The kind of guy who brings a pillow to a party because he’s always ready to “pillow-fight.”
- The kind of guy who brings a map to a dance club because he’s always looking for the “right direction.”
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel to a meeting because he’s diving into business.
- The kind of guy who brings a rubber duck to a pool party because he’s “quacking” up.
- The kind of guy who wears a top hat to a baseball game because he’s hoping for a “home run.”
- The kind of guy who brings a calculator to a party because he’s always crunching numbers.
- The kind of guy who wears a tie to a beach party because he’s ready to “tide” up.
- The kind of guy who brings a suitcase to a restaurant because he’s “packing” a big appetite.
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel to a coffee shop because he’s looking for a “deep brew.”
- The kind of guy who brings a broom to a party because he’s ready to sweep someone off their feet.
- The kind of guy who wears a tuxedo to a fast-food restaurant because he’s “fancy feasting.”
- The kind of guy who brings a mirror to a concert because he wants to “reflect” on the music.
- The kind of guy who wears a bow tie to a gym because he’s ready to “tie” himself to fitness.
- The kind of guy who brings a pillow to a movie theater because he’s ready for a “pillow talk.”
- The kind of guy who wears a snorkel to a wedding because he’s diving into love.
- The kind of guy who brings a map to a party because he’s always ready for an adventure.