Share a laugh !

1. Why did the John Deere tractor break up with its girlfriend? Because it heard she was seeing another farmer on the side!
2. What did the farmer say when his John Deere tractor wouldn’t start? “Looks like it’s time for a field trip to the mechanic!”
3. Why did the scarecrow buy a John Deere tractor? Because he heard it was outstanding in its field!
4. How does a John Deere tractor like its steak cooked? Medium-rare, just like its horsepower!
5. Why did the farmer bring a ladder to the John Deere dealership? Because he heard they had high tractors for sale!
6. What did the farmer say to his John Deere tractor when it was feeling down? “Cheer up, you’re built tough as a plow!”
7. Why was the John Deere tractor so good at math? Because it knew how to multiply horsepower!
8. What’s a John Deere’s tractor’s favorite music genre? Country, of course—it loves a good field tune!
9. Why was the John Deere tractor always the life of the party? Because it knew how to bring the horsepower!
10. What did the farmer say when his John Deere tractor couldn’t find its way home? “Looks like we’ve got a lost horsepower!”
11. Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the John Deere tractor? Because it was embarrassed to be seen with a green machine!
12. How did the John Deere tractor respond when asked about its favorite movie? “Field of Dreams,” of course!
13. Why did the farmer bring his John Deere tractor to the comedy club? Because he heard it had a great sense of humor—it always cracks a smile when it plows through the punchlines!
14. What did the John Deere tractor say to the farmer? “I’ve got a lot of drive—I’m wheely good at what I do!”
15. Why was the John Deere tractor so popular at the dance? Because it knew how to bust a move with its wheelie good steps!
16. How does a John Deere tractor like its coffee? Ground up and strong, just like its torque!
17. What did the John Deere tractor say to the combine harvester? “You may be bigger, but I’ve got more horsepower under this hood!”
18. Why did the farmer install a GPS system in his John Deere tractor? Because he heard it was the best way to navigate through a-maize-ing fields!
19. What did the John Deere tractor say to the lawnmower? “You may have a smaller blade, but I’ve got the horsepower to mow you down!”
20. Why did the John Deere tractor go to school? To get a degree in agricultural engineering, of course!

1. Why did the John Deere tractor join a band? Because it had a knack for playing the field!
2. How does a John Deere tractor like to spend its weekends? Tilling time with its best farmer friend!
3. What do you call a group of John Deere tractors racing through a field? The Fast and the Furrow-ious!
4. Why did the farmer give his John Deere tractor a hug? Because it was outstanding in its field!
5. What did the John Deere tractor say to the farmer when asked about its favorite food? “I’m a huge fan of cornbread and tractor beans!”
6. How did the John Deere tractor feel about its new farmer owner? It thought they made a great “tractor-tion”!
7. Why did the John Deere tractor bring a pencil to the field? Because it heard it was time to draw some “tractor-tive” crops!
8. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite bedtime story? “The Little Engine That Could Plow.”
9. Why did the scarecrow refuse to ride the John Deere tractor? Because it heard it was a “wheel-y” scary experience!
10. How does a John Deere tractor like to relax after a hard day’s work? By kicking back and watching “The Tractor Diaries.”
11. Why was the John Deere tractor always so calm? Because it had a “tranquillizer” seat!
12. What did the John Deere tractor say to the cow in the field? “Moo-ve over, I’ve got some serious plowing to do!”
13. How did the John Deere tractor win the talent show? By showing off its “wheel-y” impressive dance moves!
14. Why did the John Deere tractor go to therapy? Because it had too many “reaper” cushions!
15. What did the John Deere tractor do when it won the lottery? It bought acres and acres of land to roam!
16. Why did the John Deere tractor blush? Because it heard someone say it had a “hot rod” engine!
17. How does a John Deere tractor stay in shape? It participates in “tractor-cize” classes!
18. What did the farmer say to the John Deere tractor when it was feeling down? “Chin up, you’re the pick of the crop!”
19. Why did the John Deere tractor cross the road? To prove it wasn’t just a “chicken” tractor!
20. How did the John Deere tractor react when it found out it was featured in a movie? It said, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Farmer!”

1. Why did the John Deere tractor break up with its girlfriend? Because it found her to be too high maintenance!
2. What did the John Deere say to the farmer? “I’ve got a lot of drive, but I’m not just a pretty tractor!”
3. Why was the John Deere so good at baseball? Because it knew how to hit a home “run” every time!
4. How does a John Deere tractor listen to music? Through its “ear” conditioning!
5. Why don’t John Deere tractors ever tell secrets? Because they’re afraid they might “leak” out!
6. What did the John Deere tractor say to the corn? “I’m really drawn to you!”
7. Why did the John Deere tractor blush? Because it saw the farmer changing its oil!
8. Why was the John Deere always the life of the party? Because it knew how to “till” the dance floor!
9. What did the John Deere tractor say to the lawnmower? “Hey, I’m not just a grass machine, you know!”
10. How does a John Deere tractor like its coffee? “Moo-liciously” strong!
11. Why did the John Deere tractor enroll in dance classes? Because it wanted to learn how to do the “tractor shuffle”!
12. Why was the John Deere tractor always the first to arrive at work? Because it had a “speedy delivery” reputation!
13. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite kind of movie? Anything with “tract-ion”!
14. Why did the John Deere tractor go to therapy? Because it had too many “emotional attachments”!
15. What did the John Deere tractor say to the pesky weeds? “You better ‘leaf’ before I plow you under!”
16. Why did the John Deere tractor get promoted? Because it was outstanding in its field!
17. How does a John Deere tractor keep its cool? With its “rad-iator”!
18. What did the John Deere tractor say to the combine harvester? “Let’s team up and make some serious ‘crop’ music!”
19. Why did the farmer take the John Deere tractor to the bar? Because it was a real “tractor pull”!
20. Why did the John Deere tractor get in trouble at school? Because it was caught “plowing” through the hallways!

1. Why did the John Deere tractor go to the doctor? It had a case of “exhaust”ion!
2. What did the John Deere tractor say to the farmer? “I’m wheely happy to be your ride!”
3. How does a John Deere tractor cut its hair? With a “mower”!
4. Why was the John Deere tractor so popular? Because it had a magnetic “at-tractor”!
5. What did the John Deere tractor say to the chicken? “Hop on, let’s go for a ‘cluck’!”
6. Why did the John Deere tractor bring a map to the field? It didn’t want to “plow” into trouble!
7. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite day of the week? “Fri-yay!”
8. How does a John Deere tractor greet its friends? With a hearty “wheely”!
9. Why did the John Deere tractor become an artist? It had a knack for “draw-ing” attention!
10. What did the John Deere tractor say to the tomato? “You’re ripe for the pickin’!”
11. Why did the John Deere tractor get a job as a comedian? It had a knack for “cracking” jokes!
12. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good “beat”!
13. Why was the John Deere tractor so confident? Because it had “drive”!
14. What did the John Deere tractor say to the bicycle? “I’ve got more horsepower than you!”
15. Why did the John Deere tractor get an award? It was outstanding in its “field”!
16. How does a John Deere tractor stay in shape? It does “crop” fitness!
17. Why did the John Deere tractor go to school? It wanted to be a “smart-crop”!
18. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite snack? “Diesel”icious cookies!
19. Why was the John Deere tractor always calm? It knew how to “soil” its temper!
20. What did the John Deere tractor say to the football team? “Let’s plow through the competition!”

1. Why did the John Deere tractor break up with its girlfriend? Because it found out she was just using it for its horsepower!
2. What did the John Deere farmer say when his tractor wouldn’t start? “Looks like it’s time for some crop circles instead!”
3. Why did the John Deere combine go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues with attachment!
4. How does a John Deere tractor like its coffee? With a little bit of diesel creamer!
5. Why did the John Deere lawnmower go to school? It wanted to be a cut above the rest!
6. What’s a John Deere’s favorite dance move? The tractor shuffle!
7. Why was the John Deere farmer so good at math? Because he knew how to use his tractor to multiply!
8. Why was the John Deere tractor so popular at the party? Because it knew how to make all the other machines green with envy!
9. What did the John Deere tractor say to the farmer? “You make my pistons pump!”
10. Why did the John Deere tractor blush? Because it saw the farmer changing its oil and it felt a little too intimate!
11. How did the John Deere tractor win the race? It took a shortcut through the cornfields!
12. What’s a John Deere’s favorite TV show? “Wheel of Farming”!
13. Why did the John Deere farmer become a comedian? Because he had a knack for delivering “crop” humor!
14. Why did the John Deere combine go to the beach? It wanted to work on its tan lines!
15. What did the John Deere tractor say when it won the beauty contest? “I’m plow-d to be here!”
16. Why was the John Deere farmer always so calm? Because he knew his tractor had his back!
17. What’s a John Deere’s favorite type of music? Country and tractor tunes!
18. Why did the John Deere lawnmower go to the therapist? It had too many cutting issues!
19. How did the John Deere tractor propose to its sweetheart? With a ring made of tractor tires!
20. Why did the John Deere farmer go to the gym? To work on his tractor physique!

1. Why did the John Deere tractor bring a pencil to the field? Because it wanted to draw a “tractor-corn”!
2. How does a John Deere tractor listen to music? With its “hay-drostatic” sound system!
3. Why did the John Deere farmer become a comedian? Because he had a knack for “corny” jokes!
4. What did the baby tractor say to the mommy tractor? “I love you a bushel and a peck!”
5. Why did the John Deere farmer go to the doctor? Because he had a case of “tractor-tension”!
6. What do you call a dancing tractor? The John Deere Shuffle!
7. Why was the John Deere tractor embarrassed? Because it saw the farmer “plow-surfing” in the field!
8. How do John Deere tractors stay in shape? They do “farm-robics”!
9. Why did the scarecrow get promoted on the John Deere farm? Because he was “out-standing” in his field!
10. What did the John Deere tractor say to the horse? “Hey, let’s go for a ‘hay’ ride!”
11. Why did the tomato turn red on the John Deere farm? Because it saw the tractor “beet”!
12. How does a John Deere tractor cut its hair? With a “mow-hawk”!
13. Why did the John Deere tractor break up with the combine harvester? It found out the harvester was “stealing its thunder”!
14. What did the John Deere tractor say to the field? “I’m ‘rooting’ for you!”
15. Why did the John Deere farmer bring a ladder to the field? Because he heard the corn was “high”!
16. What did the John Deere tractor say when it won the race? “I’m ‘tire’-d but happy!”
17. Why was the John Deere tractor always the center of attention? Because it was a “moo-ving” sight!
18. How does a John Deere tractor apologize? It says, “I’m sow-ry!”
19. Why was the John Deere farmer a great dancer? Because he had some serious “tractor moves”!
20. What did the John Deere tractor say to the vegetable garden? “Lettuce cultivate a green future together!”

1. Why did the John Deere tractor refuse to start in the morning? Because it had a “case of the Mondays”!
2. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a field? Because I’m ready to plow!”
3. Why did the farmer choose a John Deere tractor over a date? Because it promised to “turn his soil”!
4. How does a John Deere tractor flirt? It revs its engine suggestively!
5. Why was the John Deere tractor always the life of the party? Because it knew how to “work the field”!
6. What do John Deere tractors and good wine have in common? They both improve with age!
7. Why did the John Deere farmer become a billionaire? Because he was outstanding in his field!
8. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite dance move? The “Harvester Hustle”!
9. Why did the John Deere tractor break up with its girlfriend? Because she was too high maintenance!
10. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite song? “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” by Kenny Chesney!
11. Why did the farmer install a GPS on his John Deere tractor? Because he wanted to navigate his way to success!
12. How does a John Deere tractor keep its cool during hot weather? It turns on its “air-tractor”!
13. Why did the John Deere tractor go to therapy? Because it had deep-seated “roots” issues!
14. What did the John Deere tractor say to the combine harvester at the bar? “You’re sleek, but I’ve got more horsepower!”
15. Why did the John Deere tractor feel left out at the party? Because everyone else was into “crop rotation”!
16. How does a John Deere tractor like its coffee? Ground fresh and strong, just like its plowing skills!
17. Why did the John Deere tractor get a speeding ticket? Because it was “harvesting” too quickly!
18. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite movie genre? Action-packed farming films!
19. Why did the John Deere tractor join the gym? It wanted to beef up its “tractor muscles”!
20. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite hobby? “Plowing” through a good book!

1. Why did the John Deere tractor bring a map to the field? Because it wanted to find the shortest root!
2. What did the baby John Deere tractor say to its dad? “I’m wheely glad you’re my parent!”
3. How does a John Deere tractor stay organized? It keeps everything in “tractor-tive” order!
4. Why did the John Deere tractor get a job as a comedian? Because it had a knack for “tractoring” up laughter!
5. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite type of sandwich? A “farm-er’s delight”!
6. Why was the John Deere tractor always tired? Because it was always “plowing” through the day!
7. What did the John Deere tractor say when it fell over? “I’ve been over-tilled!”
8. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion on the John Deere farm? Because it was outstanding in its field!
9. How does a John Deere tractor keep its cool? With its “farm-tastic” air conditioning!
10. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite bedtime story? “The Little Engine That Could Plow”!
11. Why did the John Deere tractor break up with its girlfriend? Because she thought it was too “rustic”!
12. What did the John Deere tractor say to the other tractor? “I’m ‘digging’ your style!”
13. Why did the John Deere tractor refuse to start? It was “seed-ing” some time alone!
14. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite dessert? “Haystack” ice cream!
15. Why did the tomato blush on the John Deere farm? Because it saw the tractor’s “beet-red” paint!
16. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite sport? “Track-tor and field”!
17. Why did the John Deere tractor go to school? It wanted to be “wheel-y” smart!
18. What did the John Deere tractor say to the farmer? “I’m really ‘plowed’ to meet you!”
19. Why did the John Deere tractor win the race? Because it had “tract-tion”!
20. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite dance move? The “mow-bot”!

1. Why did the John Deere tractor break up with the combine harvester? Because it couldn’t handle the “separation”!
2. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite kind of music? Country “beats”!
3. Why was the John Deere tractor always at the top of its class? Because it had “crop-notch” performance!
4. What did the John Deere tractor say to the crop? “You really ‘grow’ on me!”
5. Why did the John Deere tractor go to the doctor? Because it had a case of the “crop-ple”!
6. What did the John Deere tractor say to the soil? “You ‘plow’ my mind!”
7. Why did the John Deere tractor blush? Because it saw the farmer “plant-ing” a kiss!
8. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite dance? The “bale” room blitz!
9. Why did the John Deere tractor apply for a job at the bakery? Because it wanted to be a “dough-scraper”!
10. What did the John Deere tractor say to the lawn mower? “You’re ‘cut’ out for this job!”
11. Why did the John Deere tractor become a musician? Because it had a “harmonious” engine!
12. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite snack? Tractor “treads”!
13. Why did the John Deere tractor win the talent show? Because it had “wheel-y” good moves!
14. What did the John Deere tractor say when it was feeling down? “I need a ‘lift’!”
15. Why did the John Deere tractor join the gym? Because it wanted to work on its “tractor-cular” muscles!
16. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite movie? “Field of Dreams”!
17. Why did the John Deere tractor go to the beach? To work on its “tan-lines”!
18. What did the John Deere tractor say to the barn? “I’m ‘shed-ding’ tears of joy to see you!”
19. Why did the John Deere tractor go to the art museum? To admire some “land-scapes”!
20. What’s a John Deere tractor’s favorite holiday? Harvest-ween!

Share a laugh !