240+ Joe biden jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Joe biden jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did Joe Biden become a gardener? Because he wanted to bring unity to the country by planting bipartisan flowers.
  2. Joe Biden tried to join a band, but they told him he couldn’t play the saxophone because it was already occupied by another famous politician – Bill Clinton!
  3. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite dance move? The “Executive Order Shuffle.”
  4. Why did Joe Biden start a bakery? He wanted to show that he could bring both sides together – even the cookie sides!
  5. Joe Biden went to a comedy club and tried stand-up. The punchline? “I don’t always remember jokes, but when I do, they’re executive orders.”
  6. How does Joe Biden like his coffee? With a latte executive orders.
  7. Joe Biden’s favorite superhero? Captain Unity – he can bring divided parties together with a single handshake!
  8. Why did Joe Biden get a pet fish? Because he wanted to prove that even fish can have a “bipartisan” tank.
  9. Joe Biden’s new workout routine? The “Executive Order Lift” – lifting the weight of political differences.
  10. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite game? Chess – because it’s the only game where you can have a “peaceful” checkmate.
  11. Joe Biden tried to become a chef but gave up because every recipe required too much “gridlock.”
  12. Why did Joe Biden start a fashion line? To show that political statements can also be made with stylish ties!
  13. Joe Biden’s favorite movie? “The Unifier” – a political drama about bringing people together with bipartisan popcorn.
  14. Why did Joe Biden become a DJ? He wanted to mix the beats of both political parties into a harmonious dance floor.
  15. Joe Biden tried stand-up comedy but got booed. Turns out, people don’t appreciate jokes about infrastructure and tax policy!
  16. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite board game? “United We Stand” – it’s like Monopoly, but with more cooperation and fewer filibusters.
  17. Joe Biden’s gardening tip? Plant seeds of unity, water them with compromise, and watch the bipartisan flowers bloom!
  18. Why did Joe Biden become a magician? He wanted to make political differences disappear with the wave of his wand.
  19. Joe Biden opened a restaurant, but it closed quickly. Turns out, people weren’t ready for a menu full of executive orders.
  20. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite type of music? “Diplomacy Disco” – where everyone can dance to the rhythm of compromise.
  1. Why did Joe Biden bring a ladder to the election? He heard the polls were high!
  2. Joe Biden’s favorite dance move? The “Presidential Two-Step” – one step forward, two steps back.
  3. What does Joe Biden say when he enters a room? “I’m here, and I don’t remember why!”
  4. Joe Biden started a rock band, but it broke up because he kept trying to find common ground with the drummer.
  5. Why did Joe Biden become a gardener? He heard it was a good way to “dig” for bipartisan support.
  6. Joe Biden tried to start a comedy career, but every joke ended with, “Let me circle back on that one.”
  7. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions!
  8. Joe Biden’s autobiography title? “The Audacity of Napping.”
  9. Why did Joe Biden go to therapy? To work on his “executive dis-order.”
  10. Joe Biden’s advice for public speaking? Speak softly and carry a big teleprompter.
  11. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite movie genre? Forgetful comedies – he watches them over and over!
  12. Joe Biden’s solution to a bad hair day? An executive order for mandatory hair gel!
  13. Why did Joe Biden join a choir? He wanted to prove he could sing in a key that everyone could agree on.
  14. Joe Biden’s favorite bedtime story? “The Executive Order Who Cried Unity.”
  15. Why did Joe Biden become a baker? He wanted to bring people together with the irresistible aroma of bipartisan bread.
  16. Joe Biden’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Executive Orders” – where everyone’s a winner (unless you’re a filibuster).
  17. What’s Joe Biden’s secret talent? Finding common ground in a haystack of political differences.
  18. Joe Biden’s morning routine? Wake up, exercise, and then spend an hour looking for his glasses – a true visionary!
  19. Why did Joe Biden become a detective? He wanted to solve the mystery of where all the unity went.
  20. Joe Biden’s favorite holiday? Forgetsgiving – where everyone forgets their differences and just enjoys the feast!

  1. Why did Joe Biden start a software company? He heard they needed a master of “executive coding.”
  2. Joe Biden’s favorite chess piece? The “Knight of Bipartisanship” – always moving in strategic, unifying ways.
  3. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite programming language? Python – because it’s all about bringing everyone together in one line.
  4. Joe Biden tried to become a chef, but he couldn’t find a recipe that didn’t involve too much “gridlock.”
  5. Why did Joe Biden become a weatherman? He wanted to forecast a political climate of compromise and occasional sunshine.
  6. Joe Biden’s favorite math problem? Solving for “X” in the equation: X + Y = Unity.
  7. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite genre of music? Diplomatic Jazz – where every note is a compromise.
  8. Joe Biden joined a theater group but left because he couldn’t find a script without political “plot twists.”
  9. Why did Joe Biden take up archery? He wanted to prove he could hit the bullseye of bipartisan cooperation.
  10. Joe Biden’s favorite board game? “Stratego-Unity” – where the goal is to strategically position your ideas for compromise.
  11. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite literary genre? Whodunit – solving the mystery of who can bring both parties together.
  12. Joe Biden started a book club, but it disbanded because everyone kept interpreting the endings differently.
  13. Why did Joe Biden become a mathematician? He wanted to find the common denominator in politics.
  14. Joe Biden’s favorite workout? Mental gymnastics – navigating the twists and turns of bipartisan discussions.
  15. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite type of architecture? Bridges – because he’s always building connections between opposing sides.
  16. Joe Biden tried to start a philosophy club, but everyone kept arguing about the nature of “truth.”
  17. Why did Joe Biden become a puzzle maker? He wanted to create a political landscape where every piece fits together for the greater good.
  18. Joe Biden’s favorite game show? “The Art of the Compromise” – where contestants negotiate their way to victory.
  19. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite painting style? Abstract – because sometimes you have to step back to see the bigger picture of unity.
  20. Joe Biden’s advice for solving complex problems? Take a page from Sudoku – fill in the gaps with compromise.
  1. Why did Joe Biden start a gardening club? He heard plants respond well to whispers.
  2. Joe Biden tried to become a chef, but every time he made a decision, the pot called the kettle indecisive.
  3. How does Joe Biden organize his emails? In a folder labeled “Things I’ll decide later.”
  4. Joe Biden’s favorite dance move? The filibuster shuffle.
  5. Why did Joe Biden become a comedian? He’s really good at delivering punchlines with a straight face.
  6. Joe Biden opened a bakery, specializing in cookies. The secret ingredient? Executive orders.
  7. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite movie? “The Decider Games.”
  8. Why did Joe Biden become a rapper? He’s got a talent for dropping beats… and executive orders.
  9. Joe Biden’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions.
  10. What’s Joe Biden’s go-to party trick? Balancing the budget on his fingertip.
  11. Joe Biden’s new book title? “The Audacity of Middle Ground.”
  12. Why did Joe Biden become a locksmith? He heard there were a lot of key issues to address.
  13. Joe Biden tried stand-up comedy but was asked to sit down due to indecisive punchlines.
  14. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite board game? “Monotony,” where everyone agrees on the same move repeatedly.
  15. Joe Biden’s favorite car? A hybrid, because it can’t decide between gas or electric.
  16. Why did Joe Biden start a petting zoo? He heard animals appreciate a leader with a gentle touch.
  17. Joe Biden’s favorite music genre? Swing, as it reminds him of his political stance.
  18. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite sport? Dodgeball – he’s an expert at avoiding tough decisions.
  19. Joe Biden’s favorite superhero? Captain Compromise!
  20. Why did Joe Biden start a fashion line? His signature style is “moderately chic.”

  1. Joe Biden walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a strong leadership drink. The bartender replies, “Sorry, we only serve mixed signals here.”
  2. Did you hear about Joe Biden’s new workout routine? He lifts both sides of the argument to stay in political shape!
  3. Joe Biden decided to become a magician. His favorite trick is making promises disappear faster than you can say, “Abracadabra!”
  4. Why did Joe Biden start a bakery? He wanted to specialize in turnovers – political ones, that is.
  5. Joe Biden tried his hand at being a weatherman, but every time he predicted a change, the climate remained undecided.
  6. Have you heard about Joe Biden’s gardening skills? He plants seeds of doubt and hopes they grow into bipartisan flowers.
  7. Joe Biden’s favorite game is chess, but he insists on playing with two kings because, you know, equality.
  8. Why did Joe Biden start a music band? He wanted to be in harmony with everyone, even if it meant singing a different tune each day.
  9. Joe Biden’s favorite pet is a chameleon because it perfectly represents his ability to adapt his opinions.
  10. Did you hear about Joe Biden’s autobiography? It’s called “Between the Lines,” with the foreword written in invisible ink.
  11. Joe Biden decided to be a stand-up comedian. The audience was left in stitches, not from laughter, but from trying to understand his punchlines.
  12. Why did Joe Biden become a painter? He loves the art of diplomacy – mixing colors until everyone agrees on a shade of beige.
  13. Joe Biden’s favorite ice cream flavor? Neapolitan, because he believes in unity, one scoop at a time.
  14. Did you hear about Joe Biden’s cooking show? It’s called “The Executive Chef,” where he demonstrates how to make decisions without actually cooking anything.
  15. Joe Biden took up astronomy, but his telescope could only see middle-ground stars – not too bright, not too dim.
  16. Why did Joe Biden join a circus? He’s an expert at walking the tightrope of political correctness.
  17. Joe Biden tried to write a novel, but it kept getting delayed. The title? “The Neverending Middle.”
  18. Did you know Joe Biden tried to be a DJ? He spins the record back every time someone asks him a tough question.
  19. Joe Biden’s favorite movie genre? Suspense – he enjoys keeping everyone guessing about his next move.
  20. Why did Joe Biden become a chef? He wanted to prove he could flip-flop pancakes as skillfully as he does with policies.
  1. Why did Joe Biden bring a ladder to the playground? He wanted to reach a bipartisan consensus on the slide!
  2. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite game at recess? Dodge the tough questions!
  3. Why did Joe Biden go to school with a pencil? To erase any mistakes from yesterday’s homework, just like his speeches.
  4. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite subject? History, because it’s the only class where he doesn’t need to make any decisions!
  5. Why did Joe Biden take a backpack to the zoo? He heard the elephants were trunkated, just like his policy plans.
  6. Joe Biden’s favorite bedtime story? “Goldilocks and the Three Moderately Acceptable Porridge Options.”
  7. Why did Joe Biden become a school bus driver? He’s an expert at taking everyone on a journey to the middle ground.
  8. What did Joe Biden say to the kid with a messy desk? “Don’t worry, mine’s just as unorganized – it’s the democratic way!”
  9. Why did Joe Biden join the math club? He loves finding common denominators, especially in politics.
  10. Joe Biden’s favorite game of hide-and-seek? He hides in the middle, hoping nobody notices.
  11. Why did Joe Biden bring a compass to school? He wanted to make sure he was always pointing towards the political center.
  12. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite school lunch? Baloney sandwiches, the perfect metaphor for some political speeches!
  13. Why did Joe Biden start a kid’s choir? He believes in harmony, even if it means singing different songs at the same time.
  14. Joe Biden’s favorite school supply? The eraser, because sometimes you just have to backtrack on your decisions.
  15. Why did Joe Biden become a crossing guard? He wanted to show he could lead people safely across the road, even if it’s the middle of the political spectrum.
  16. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite board game? Moderation, where everyone agrees to take turns being in charge.
  17. Why did Joe Biden become a school counselor? He’s great at listening to problems and then proposing a bipartisan solution.
  18. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite school dance move? The political pivot – it’s all about changing direction without committing to a full spin.
  19. Why did Joe Biden bring a map to show and tell? He wanted to demonstrate how he navigates through the middle of every issue.
  20. Joe Biden’s favorite school project? The fence-sitting diorama, showcasing his talent for balancing on the political fence.

  1. Why did Joe Biden start a cooking show for adults? It’s called “Bipartisan Bites,” where he promises a little something for everyone but delivers the same bland dish.
  2. Joe Biden tried stand-up comedy for adults, but the punchlines were so moderate, the audience fell asleep instead of laughing.
  3. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite adult beverage? A cocktail called “The Compromise,” served on the rocks of political indecision.
  4. Joe Biden decided to become a fashion designer, specializing in “Middle-of-the-Road Chic” – where everyone can agree it’s just okay.
  5. Why did Joe Biden become a therapist? He’s an expert at nodding his head in agreement without committing to any real solutions.
  6. Joe Biden’s favorite hobby? Collecting fence posts – because sitting on them is his preferred position.
  7. Why did Joe Biden start a travel agency? He offers trips to the middle ground, where the views are neither too left nor too right.
  8. Joe Biden opened a gym for adults, focusing on exercises that involve a lot of backpedaling and sidestepping the issues.
  9. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite genre of adult movies? Political dramas, where the plot takes unexpected turns without reaching a satisfying conclusion.
  10. Joe Biden’s autobiography is now available for adults – titled “Shades of Beige: A Memoir of Moderate Achievements.”
  11. Why did Joe Biden become a musician? He plays the middle note on the piano, creating melodies that don’t offend anyone.
  12. Joe Biden’s favorite vacation spot? Somewhere with a comfortable fence to sit on, overlooking a sea of political compromise.
  13. What’s Joe Biden’s preferred form of communication? Morse code – because it allows him to send messages without committing to specific words.
  14. Joe Biden started a car rental service, specializing in vehicles with steering wheels that only turn in the middle.
  15. Why did Joe Biden become a tour guide? He excels at leading people in circles without reaching a final destination.
  16. Joe Biden’s favorite adult game? “Political Poker,” where he keeps folding to avoid making tough decisions.
  17. What’s Joe Biden’s go-to workout? Jumping to conclusions – it’s an exercise in political agility.
  18. Joe Biden tried to become a poet, but every verse ended with a cautious “maybe” or “possibly.”
  19. Why did Joe Biden become a weatherman for adults? He’s great at forecasting a chance of rain, sun, or political ambiguity.
  20. Joe Biden’s favorite bedtime story for adults? “The Tale of Two Sides,” where everyone lives happily in the middle.
  1. Why did Joe Biden become a dad joke expert? Because he’s really good at delivering punchlines that leave everyone in the middle.
  2. Joe Biden told his family he was going to be a stand-up comedian. They replied, “Dad, that’s a joke in itself!”
  3. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite dad dance move? The political pivot – a smooth turn without committing to a full spin.
  4. Joe Biden’s favorite dad hobby? Building fences, because sitting on them is the most comfortable position.
  5. Why did Joe Biden bring a compass to the family picnic? He wanted to make sure they were all headed towards the middle ground.
  6. Joe Biden tried to be a magician at the family gathering, making promises disappear faster than dessert on Thanksgiving.
  7. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite dad dish? Flip-flop pancakes – he’s an expert at changing opinions just like flipping pancakes.
  8. Joe Biden decided to become a gardener, planting seeds of wisdom and dad jokes in equal measure.
  9. Why did Joe Biden join a dad band? He wanted to be in harmony with everyone, even if it meant playing different tunes at the same time.
  10. Joe Biden’s favorite dad movie? “The Sound of Moderation,” where every note is played in the middle.
  11. What’s Joe Biden’s preferred mode of transportation? A minivan – because it’s the most moderate way to get from point A to point B.
  12. Joe Biden started a dad advice column, offering solutions that always end with “It’s complicated.”
  13. Why did Joe Biden become a dad artist? He specializes in drawing middle-of-the-road landscapes with plenty of gray areas.
  14. Joe Biden’s favorite dad vacation spot? The beach, where he can build sandcastles and sit on a moderate-sized throne.
  15. What’s Joe Biden’s go-to dad joke? “Why did the scarecrow become a politician? Because he was outstanding in his field of moderation!”
  16. Joe Biden tried to be a dad chef, but his signature dish was always served lukewarm – the perfect temperature for compromise.
  17. Why did Joe Biden become a dad counselor? He’s great at listening to family problems and suggesting solutions that avoid commitment.
  18. Joe Biden’s favorite dad game? “Monopoly,” where everyone agrees to play but never finishes the game.
  19. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite dad joke about technology? “Why did the smartphone go to therapy? It had too many issues with its touchy screen!”
  20. Joe Biden decided to become a dad detective, solving mysteries with clues that lead to the middle ground.

  1. Why did Joe Biden become a cheese connoisseur? He loves finding the middle ground between cheddar and brie.
  2. Joe Biden’s favorite cheese? Swiss, because it’s so hole-y appropriate for his policies.
  3. What did Joe Biden say to the cheesy politician? “Gouda job on that compromise, my friend!”
  4. Joe Biden tried making a cheese sculpture, but it always ended up looking like a moderate blob.
  5. Why did Joe Biden become a cheesemonger? He wanted to offer a variety of options without taking a sharp stance.
  6. Joe Biden’s cheesy pick-up line? “Are you a wedge of brie? Because you’ve got that soft and creamy charisma.”
  7. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite cheesy movie? “The Gouda, the Brie, and the Ugly” – a tale of political compromise in the Wild West.
  8. Joe Biden decided to start a cheese-themed dance club. The signature move? The Limburger Leap!
  9. Why did Joe Biden become a cheese sculptor? He’s a master at molding something without making a firm commitment.
  10. Joe Biden’s favorite cheesy snack? Nachos – because they’re all about finding a balance between the chips and the cheese.
  11. What’s Joe Biden’s cheesy motto? “In queso doubt, choose the middle ground.”
  12. Joe Biden tried to make a cheese pizza, but it ended up with toppings on only half – a true representation of his political stance.
  13. Why did Joe Biden become a cheese judge? He’s great at grading on a curve.
  14. Joe Biden’s favorite cheesy love song? “Brie Mine Tonight.”
  15. What’s Joe Biden’s go-to cheese for diplomatic events? Swiss, because it’s neutral and won’t offend anyone’s taste buds.
  16. Joe Biden decided to join a cheese-tasting club, where every member gets a say in the perfect level of cheesiness.
  17. Why did Joe Biden become a cheese comedian? His jokes are always a bit cheesy, but he delivers them with a gouda-natured smile.
  18. Joe Biden’s cheesy advice? “When life gives you lemons, make a lemony cheese spread and share it with your political opponents.”
  19. What’s Joe Biden’s favorite cheese-related sport? Brie-larding – a graceful form of cheese curling.
  20. Joe Biden decided to start a cheese blog, where he rates different varieties based on their ability to find common ground on a cracker.

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