240+ Instrument jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Instrument jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the guitar go to therapy? It had too many strings attached.
  2. What’s a musician’s favorite type of clothing? A trombone.
  3. Why did the trumpet break up with the saxophone? It found a brassier partner.
  4. How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue!
  5. Why did the drum set get a job? It wanted to support its hi-hat.
  6. What’s a pianist’s favorite type of pet? A grand piano.
  7. Why did the accordion player start a garden? To cultivate some accordion to plan.
  8. What’s an instrument’s favorite social media platform? Snapchord.
  9. How do you communicate with a drummer in outer space? You planet drum!
  10. Why did the flute become a detective? It always followed the clues.
  11. What did the guitar say to the musician? “You really strum my pain.”
  12. Why did the violin join a rock band? It wanted to string things up.
  13. How do you organize a space party? You planet with a rocket bass.
  14. What’s a saxophone’s favorite movie genre? Jazz-age fiction.
  15. Why did the cello start a cooking show? It had the perfect pitch for a recipe.
  16. What did the snare drum say to the bass drum? “You’ve got a lot of kick!”
  17. Why did the xylophone break up with the marimba? It wanted a more percussive relationship.
  18. What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra.
  19. Why did the accordion player go to the gym? To work on their core-deron muscles.
  20. How do you fix a broken brass instrument? With a tuba glue (part two)!
  1. Why did the piano break up with the accordion? It couldn’t handle the constant squeeze.
  2. How does a guitarist answer the phone? With a chordial hello!
  3. Why did the trumpet refuse to play hide and seek? It always blew its cover.
  4. What did the snare drum say to the bass drum during an argument? “You’re so two-faced!”
  5. Why was the violin so good at making decisions? It always knew the right string to pull.
  6. How does a musician end a conversation? They say, “It’s time to rest.”
  7. What’s an orchestra’s favorite type of pizza? Supreme-overture!
  8. Why did the saxophone enroll in therapy? It had too many reed issues.
  9. How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba toothpaste!
  10. Why did the drummer become a gardener? He wanted to beat the drum of nature.
  11. What’s a trombone’s favorite type of exercise? The slide plank.
  12. Why did the cymbal refuse to apologize? It thought it clashed too much already.
  13. What did the bassoon say to the flute? “You’re really blowing me away!”
  14. Why did the piano teacher go to jail? Allegro-assault.
  15. How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs!
  16. Why did the xylophone go to therapy? It had too many emotional highs and lows.
  17. What’s a clarinet’s favorite dessert? Puff pastry.
  18. Why did the banjo player start a bakery? They wanted to make some sweet pickin’ treats.
  19. How do you organize a fantastic concert? You orchestrate it!
  20. Why was the flute always invited to parties? It knew how to flute the crowd!

  1. Why did the piano apply for a job in cybersecurity? It wanted to improve its keyboard security.
  2. What do you call a musical instrument that can also do math? An alge-bra.
  3. How does a guitarist excel in school? By picking up good grades.
  4. Why did the violin become a software developer? It had a knack for stringing code together.
  5. What’s a saxophone’s favorite programming language? Java-sax.
  6. How does a clarinet apologize? It makes a reed-amends.
  7. Why did the drum set become a motivational speaker? It knew how to beat the odds.
  8. What did the music theory book say to the piano? “You’re always playing by the keys of knowledge.”
  9. How does a tuba stay organized? It keeps everything in tuba-lated folders.
  10. Why did the trumpet become a stand-up comedian? It had a great sense of brass humor.
  11. What’s a musician’s favorite type of car? A cello-cta.
  12. Why did the flute major in psychology? It wanted to analyze everyone’s mental flutability.
  13. What did the guitar say to the ukulele? “We should string along and make some harmony.”
  14. Why did the bassist start a business? He knew how to handle the bottom line.
  15. How does a trombone express its creativity? It thinks outside the slide.
  16. Why did the oboe become a detective? It could always sniff out the right notes.
  17. What’s a pianist’s favorite type of fruit? A keyboard.
  18. How does a saxophone stay healthy? It always gets its saxercise.
  19. Why did the accordion start a podcast? It wanted to share its accord-tales with the world.
  20. What did the conductor say to the unruly orchestra? “You need to follow the score of conduct.”
  1. Why did the guitar break up with the bass? Too much fret and not enough commitment.
  2. What’s a flute’s favorite party game? Spin the bottle… stopper!
  3. Why did the saxophone refuse to share its secrets? It wanted to keep things alto-itself.
  4. What did the piano say to the accordion? “Quit squeezing me into your problems!”
  5. Why did the trumpet get kicked out of the library? It couldn’t stop blowing its own horn.
  6. How does a musician answer the phone? They pick up the cello!
  7. Why was the drum set always confident? It had a strong sense of snare-ity.
  8. What’s a violin’s favorite type of humor? Pizzicato!
  9. Why did the clarinet bring a ladder to the concert? It wanted to reach new heights.
  10. What did the trombone say to the trumpet? “Slide into my DMs sometime.”
  11. Why did the cymbals refuse to argue? They didn’t want to make any crashing statements.
  12. How does a pianist apologize? They play a concerto of remorse.
  13. Why did the banjo player go to therapy? It had too many strings attached to the past.
  14. What’s a guitarist’s favorite weather? Fingerpicking good!
  15. Why did the xylophone go to school early? It wanted to be at the head of the xylo-class.
  16. What’s a drummer’s favorite type of coffee? Espresso yourself!
  17. Why did the accordion break up with the harmonica? It couldn’t handle the breath of fresh air.
  18. What did the tuba say to the trumpet? “You always get the brass ring.”
  19. Why did the triangle get promoted? It always knew how to make a point.
  20. How does a musician say goodbye? They wave and say, “It’s time to treble.”

  1. Why did the piano break up with the accordion? Because every time they tried to harmonize, the accordion couldn’t stop squeezing in its own issues, and the piano felt it was time to find a relationship with more key compatibility.
  2. What’s a saxophone’s favorite pastime? Telling riveting bedtime stories to other instruments, but the punchline is always a smooth jazz solo that lulls them into a musical slumber.
  3. Why did the trumpet enroll in culinary school? It wanted to master the art of brass-cooking, but soon realized that the only thing it could really cook up was some hot air.
  4. How does a drummer handle stress? By organizing a therapeutic drum circle, where each beat represents a worry being pounded away, turning anxiety into rhythm therapy.
  5. What did the clarinet say to the flute during the instrument party? “You’re such a breeze to be around, always floating through conversations with your airy notes, while I’m stuck here clarifying everything!”
  6. Why did the violin start a detective agency? It had a keen sense of strings attached to mysteries and was always able to fiddle with the evidence until the truth came to light.
  7. What’s a guitarist’s favorite subject in school? Geometry, because they’re always trying to find the perfect angle for fingerpicking and fretboard acrobatics.
  8. Why did the drum set become a life coach? It knew how to keep things in rhythm and beat life’s challenges, ensuring that everyone follows their own unique percussive path.
  9. What did the piano say to the flute after the concert? “You really blew me away with your ethereal melodies, and now I feel like I’m in treble because I can’t stop key-ing into your music.”
  10. Why did the trombone attend a comedy workshop? It wanted to perfect its comedic timing and slide into punchlines with the grace of a well-executed glissando.
  11. How does a tuba stay fit? By engaging in “tuba-robics,” a workout routine that involves lifting its weighty brass self and maintaining a strong lung capacity for those deep, resonant notes.
  12. Why did the accordion start a blog? To share its life stories and musings, explaining how it embraced both the squeeze and release moments, inspiring others to find harmony in the unexpected.
  13. What’s a harp’s favorite type of movie? Romantic comedies, because they love a good pluck-line and the gentle strumming of heartstrings.
  14. Why did the trumpet join a circus? It wanted to show off its brass-tastic talents, performing awe-inspiring feats that left the audience trumpeting with applause.
  15. What did the conductor say to the rebellious trombone? “You need to follow the score and not improvise your own trom-boneheaded arrangements; we’re not playing jazz here!”
  16. Why did the oboe become a scientist? It was fascinated by the principles of sound waves and wanted to unravel the mysteries of reed dynamics at a molecular level.
  17. What’s a bassist’s secret talent? Juggling, because they’ve mastered the art of keeping the low notes flowing while deftly managing the highs and creating a rhythmic spectacle.
  18. Why did the flute go on a diet? It wanted to achieve the perfect pitch and realized that cutting down on excess air was the key to a leaner, more focused sound.
  19. What did the violin say to the viola? “We need to string things out and bridge our differences; otherwise, this ensemble is in danger of hitting a dissonant note.”
  20. Why did the accordion player become a motivational speaker? Because they knew how to embrace both the push and pull of life, inspiring others to find the right balance between expansion and contraction.
  1. Why did the guitar go to school? It wanted to learn how to strum up some fun!
  2. What do you call a bear playing the piano? A bear-key!
  3. Why did the trumpet bring a ladder to class? To reach the high notes!
  4. What did the drum say to the cymbal? “You’re really crashing the party!”
  5. How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue!
  6. Why did the flute bring a map to band practice? It wanted to find the right direction for its notes!
  7. What’s a saxophone’s favorite bedtime story? The reed-aloud tale!
  8. Why did the piano refuse to play hide and seek? Because it always gets caught between the keys!
  9. What’s a cow’s favorite instrument? The moo-sical triangle!
  10. Why did the xylophone get a detention? It couldn’t stop hitting on the wrong bars!
  11. What did the baby drum say to its parent? “I want a little more snare in my bedtime beat!”
  12. Why did the violin go to the doctor? It had a case of the strings-attached sniffles!
  13. What’s a trumpet’s favorite snack? Pop-cornet!
  14. Why did the trombone cross the road? To get to the other slide!
  15. What’s a drum’s favorite subject in school? Beat-ology!
  16. Why did the guitar go to space? To play among the stars!
  17. What’s a flute’s favorite fruit? The tooty-fruity!
  18. Why did the accordion bring a backpack to the concert? It wanted to play some accordion-back tunes!
  19. What did the piano say to the harmonica? “You’re really blowing my keys away!”
  20. Why did the drum set join the circus? It wanted to roll with the show!

  1. Why did the saxophone get a day job? It needed to fund its late-night jazz gigs and cover the alto-mony payments.
  2. What did the guitar say to the amplifier? “You really know how to turn me on.”
  3. Why did the trombone start a fitness program? It wanted to build some muscle and slide into better shape.
  4. How does a musician flirt? By saying, “Are you a metronome? Because my heart beats in time with you.”
  5. What’s a drummer’s favorite pick-up line? “Are you a drumstick? Because you make my heart beat faster!”
  6. Why did the piano teacher become a life coach? She knew how to play the right keys to unlock success and harmony in people’s lives.
  7. What’s a violin’s favorite type of romance novel? One with plenty of bow-chicka-wow-wow moments!
  8. How did the bassist become a millionaire? By starting as a billionaire and then pursuing a career in music.
  9. Why did the accordion player start a dating app? Because they believed in finding the perfect squeeze.
  10. What’s a flutist’s favorite drink? A flute of champagne, because they like their beverages as bubbly as their music.
  11. Why did the trumpet player break up with the drummer? They couldn’t find the right rhythm in their relationship.
  12. What did the conductor say during the orchestra’s party? “Let’s make some harmonious memories, but please, no playing around with sharps or flats.”
  13. Why did the clarinet player become a stand-up comedian? They knew how to blow a good punchline without getting too reed-iculous.
  14. What’s a guitarist’s favorite dating app? Strings Attached.
  15. Why did the drum set go to therapy? It had too many issues with its hi-hat and needed some snare-apy.
  16. How does a musician break up with someone? They say, “It’s time to face the music; our harmony is out of tune.”
  17. Why did the pianist refuse to settle down? Because they believed in playing the field.
  18. What’s a saxophonist’s favorite type of humor? Saxual innuendos.
  19. Why did the trumpet player become a lawyer? They knew how to blow their own horn in court.
  20. What’s a guitarist’s favorite part of a relationship? The solo act.
  1. Why did the guitar go to the family reunion? It wanted to bond with its acoustic roots.
  2. What did the drum say to its kids? “I’ve got a beat, and you’re all part of my rhythm section.”
  3. Why did the trumpet tell dad jokes? Because it knew how to blow everyone away with its comedic brass-tacularity.
  4. How does a musician punish their kids? They take away their treble privileges.
  5. What’s a dad’s favorite chord? DAD.
  6. Why did the piano take its kids to the park? To help them find the right keys to success.
  7. Why did the saxophone get a dad bod? Too many jazzercise sessions and not enough reed-ucation on healthy eating.
  8. What did the dad say to the out-of-tune piano? “You need to get in key-synd with the family harmony.”
  9. Why did the tuba tell bedtime stories? Because it wanted to tuba-le into the land of dreams with its low, soothing notes.
  10. What’s a dad’s favorite dance move? The electric slide.
  11. Why did the accordion become a dad? It was ready to embrace the squeeze of fatherhood.
  12. What did the drum set say when it told a joke? “I’m drum-rollin’ with laughter!”
  13. How does a dad guitarist apologize? By saying, “I fretted about it all day, and now I realize I was out of chord.”
  14. What’s a dad’s favorite musical genre? Dadrock, of course!
  15. Why did the cymbals become dads? They knew how to make a splash at the family gatherings.
  16. How does a dad flute tell time? By following the toot-clock.
  17. Why did the dad accordion start a vegetable garden? Because it wanted to grow its own accordions and raise them right.
  18. What did the dad saxophone say to its kids when they were misbehaving? “You’re all saxually transmitted nuisances!”
  19. Why did the dad violin start a woodworking hobby? It wanted to craft some string instruments for its offspring.
  20. What’s a dad’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones, because they know how to rock and roll with parenthood.

  1. What do you call a cheese that plays guitar? Gouda-vibrato!
  2. Why did the Swiss cheese start a band? It wanted to be part of a hole-y ensemble.
  3. How does a cheese make music? It uses a grater!
  4. What’s a cheese’s favorite instrument? The brie-tar.
  5. Why did the cheddar refuse to join the orchestra? It couldn’t handle the sharp notes.
  6. How do you fix a broken cheese instrument? With mozza-rella tape!
  7. What did the cheese say during the jazz concert? “This music is grate!”
  8. Why did the cheese attend the rock concert? It wanted to feel the cheddar-shaking vibes!
  9. What’s a cheese’s favorite dance move? The brie-akdance!
  10. Why did the cheese start a solo career? It wanted to be the big cheese in the music industry.
  11. What’s a cheese’s favorite song genre? Swiss-ting rock!
  12. Why did the blue cheese become a DJ? It loved to mix things up with some funky beats.
  13. How does a cheese play a duet? It gouda-lizes with another cheese.
  14. What did the cheddar say to the parmesan? “You’re grate company!”
  15. Why did the cheese learn to play the accordion? It wanted to squeeze out some cheesy tunes.
  16. What’s a cheese’s favorite music festival? Coach-chella!
  17. How does a cheese express its feelings? It shares its cheesy emotions through melody and cheddar-tudes.
  18. Why did the cheese join the marching band? It wanted to be a part of the dairy parade!
  19. What’s a cheese’s favorite classical composer? Mozart-arella!
  20. Why did the cheese become a conductor? It knew how to orchestrate a symphony of cheesy delights.

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