Share a laugh !

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
3. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
4. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
6. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
7. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
8. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
9. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill!”
10. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly!
11. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Lunch is on me!”
12. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
13. What do you call fake noodle? An impasta!
14. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
15. What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
16. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
17. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
18. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
19. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
20. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!

1. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
2. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
6. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
7. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
8. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Lunch is on me!”
9. What did one hat say to the other hat? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
10. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
11. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
12. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
13. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
14. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
15. What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Between you and me, something smells!”
16. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
18. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
19. Why was the calendar afraid? Because its days were numbered!
20. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls!

1. Why don’t eggs tell secrets? Because they might crack under pressure!
2. What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
3. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field!
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
6. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
8. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
9. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Dinner’s on me!”
10. Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!
11. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
12. What did one hat say to the other hat? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
13. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
14. Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems!
15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
16. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
17. Why was the calendar so popular? It had lots of dates!
18. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus!
19. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
20. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
5. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
8. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly!
11. What do you call fake lettuce? A salad impostor!
12. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
13. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
14. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed!
15. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
16. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
17. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field!
18. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
19. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
20. Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!

1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems. So, it decided to go to therapy. It sat on the therapist’s couch, flipping through its pages and muttering about imaginary numbers and irrational fractions. The therapist, trying to be understanding, asked, “How do you feel about these problems?” The math book sighed deeply and replied, “I just feel like I’m divided into too many chapters, and none of them add up to a happy ending.”
2. There was a potato, a tomato, and a carrot walking down the street. Suddenly, they spotted a can of baked beans lying on the ground. The potato said, “Let’s smash it and make some mashed potatoes!” The tomato said, “No, let’s throw it against the wall and make some tomato sauce!” The carrot, feeling left out, exclaimed, “Hey, what about me?” The potato and tomato looked at each other and said, “Sorry, we didn’t see you. You can just stay rooty and cute over there.”
3. Two pickles were in a jar, floating peacefully in brine, when suddenly, one pickle starts frantically swimming around. The other pickle asks, “What’s wrong?” The first pickle replies, “I’m in a pickle! I just realized I forgot to bring my swimsuit, and now I’m dill-emma!”
4. Once upon a time, there was a piece of gum named Gus. Gus was a happy little gum, always sticking to his friends and enjoying life. One day, he found himself stuck under a table in a classroom. As the students chatted and learned, Gus felt a sense of belonging. But then came the dreaded moment when the janitor scraped him off the floor. Gus found himself on the end of a stick, being tossed into the trash. As he soared through the air, he shouted, “I’ll stick with you till the end!”
5. Two pencils were sitting on a desk when one suddenly rolled off. The other pencil asked, “Are you okay?” The rolling pencil replied, “Yeah, I just needed to draw some attention to myself!”
6. There was a tomato, a lettuce, and a cucumber having a race. The cucumber took off quickly, but the lettuce was ahead by a leaf. The tomato wasn’t worried; it knew it would ketchup eventually!
7. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! But halfway through, it chickened out and went back to its coop.
8. Two socks were hanging on a clothesline. One sock turns to the other and says, “Hey, do you think we’ll ever get back together?” The other sock replies, “I don’t know, but we’ll always have a pair of memories.”
9. Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had too many bytes of emotional baggage. It couldn’t Ctrl-Alt-Del its feelings, so it decided to reboot its mental operating system.
10. Once there was a banana who wanted to be an astronaut. It trained hard, did rigorous exercises, and even learned to peel itself in zero gravity. Finally, it applied to NASA. Unfortunately, it was rejected. The reason? They said it lacked a-peel.
11. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of standing up straight! It just wanted to take a quick nap before the next ride.
12. Two melons were chatting in the garden. One melon said to the other, “You’re one in a melon!” The other melon blushed and replied, “Aw, shucks, you’re seedling the best in me!”
13. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up! And they don’t want to egg-spose their yolks.
14. Once, a hotdog and a bun went on a date. They had a great time, laughing and relishing each other’s company. But when it came time to pay the bill, the bun said, “I think we should split it.” The hotdog replied, “That’s the wurst idea I’ve ever heard!”
15. Two grapes were rolling down a hill when one suddenly stopped. The other grape asked, “What’s wrong?” The first grape replied, “I’m just raisin awareness about the dangers of rolling too fast!”
16. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing! It couldn’t help but feel a little saucy.
17. There was a carrot who wanted to become a comedian. It started telling jokes at the local farmer’s market, but nobody laughed. Determined to succeed, the carrot joined a stand-up comedy class. It learned new jokes and improved its delivery. Finally, after months of hard work, the carrot performed at a comedy club. It received thunderous applause and realized its dream had finally carrot-ed away!
18. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because it had no body to go with! But it danced its bones off anyway.
19. Two pieces of bread were sitting in a toaster. One turns to the other and says, “Man, it’s getting hot in here!” The other replies, “Don’t worry, I’ll stick with you until we’re golden brown!”
20. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of standing up straight! It just wanted to take a quick nap before the next ride.
21. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! He was straw-tastically proud of his achievement.

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the ketchup bottle!
2. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
3. Why did the pencil jump out of the pencil case? It wanted to draw attention!
4. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Between you and me, something smells!”
6. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
7. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
8. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
9. What did the banana say to the dog? “You’re appealing!”
10. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
11. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
13. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
14. Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
15. What did one hat say to the other hat? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
16. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
17. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
18. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? “You look flushed!”
19. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
20. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Lunch is on me!”

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
3. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
4. Why was the snowman so happy? Because he heard the snowblower was coming!
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
6. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
11. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field!
12. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
14. Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
15. What did one hat say to the other hat? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
16. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing! It couldn’t help but feel a little saucy.
17. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
18. Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had too many bytes of emotional baggage. It couldn’t Ctrl-Alt-Del its feelings, so it decided to reboot its mental operating system.
19. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? “You look flushed!”
20. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
6. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field!
7. Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
8. Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
9. What did one hat say to the other hat? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
10. Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing! It couldn’t help but feel a little saucy.
11. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
12. Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had too many bytes of emotional baggage. It couldn’t Ctrl-Alt-Del its feelings, so it decided to reboot its mental operating system.
13. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? “You look flushed!”
14. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
15. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up! And they don’t want to egg-spose their yolks.
16. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired of standing up straight! It just wanted to take a quick nap before the next ride.
17. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because it had no body to go with! But it danced its bones off anyway.
18. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
19. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Lunch is on me!”
20. Why did the lettuce win the race? Because it was ahead by a leaf!

1. Why did the cheese refuse to be sliced? Because it was feeling grate!
2. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? “Halloumi!”
3. Why was the cheese so shy? Because it was afraid of being provolonely!
4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
5. Why did the cheese go to the party? Because it wanted to brie the life of the party!
6. How do you handle dangerous cheese? Caerphilly!
7. What did the cheese say to the mirror? “Looking Gouda!”
8. Why did the cheese bring a flashlight to the party? Because it wanted to be the big cheese in the spotlight!
9. What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? “I’m feeling blue, but I won’t let it whey me down!”
10. Why was the cheese so confident? Because it knew it was curd-ly awesome!
11. Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn’t concentrate; it was too busy thinking about cheddar times!
12. What did the cheese say to the camera? “Smile, it’s fonduetime!”
13. Why did the cheese bring a ladder to the party? Because it wanted to be on a higher level!
14. Why did the cheese break up with the crackers? Because it felt they were too cheesy!
15. Why did the cheese take up gardening? Because it wanted to grow up to be mature!
16. What did the cheese say to the sandwich? “You’re my bread and butter!”
17. Why did the cheese go to the art museum? Because it wanted to admire some fine brie-casso!
18. What’s a cheese’s favorite TV show? “Game of Grates!”
19. Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it was feeling blue, and it wanted to talk about its feelings with a provolone professional!
20. Why did the cheese break up with the pasta? Because it felt it was too al dente for its taste!

Share a laugh !