Share a laugh !

1. Why did the scarecrow go to the doctor? Because he was feeling straw-ly.
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
3. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
4. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
5. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
6. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. What did the doctor say to the computer? “You’ve got a virus.”
9. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
10. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
11. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
12. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
13. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
14. Why was the broom late? It swept in!
15. Why was the calendar nervous? Its days were numbered!
16. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
17. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
18. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
19. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
20. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

1. Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? Because it had a “bone to pick” with its health!
2. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
3. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. Why was the cell phone always tired? It was constantly low on energy!
8. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
9. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
10. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
11. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
13. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
14. Why did the music teacher go to the doctor? She had too many notes!
15. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t find a date!
16. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
17. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
18. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
19. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
20. Why did the music teacher go to the doctor? She had too many notes!

1. Why did the bacteria break up with its partner? It just couldn’t handle the “culture” anymore!
2. Why did the skeleton go to the party? It heard it would be a “bone-chilling” experience!
3. Why did the carrot refuse to see the doctor? It didn’t want to get “root canal” treatment!
4. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
5. Why did the grapefruit go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit “pithy”!
6. Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? In case she needed to “highlight” any issues!
7. Why did the apple go to therapy? It had too many “core” issues!
8. Why did the flu virus break up with its partner? It wanted to be “single-stranded”!
9. Why did the germ feel lonely? It couldn’t find any “body” to infect!
10. Why did the broccoli go to the gym? It wanted to get some “stalk” muscles!
11. Why did the chiropractor win an award? Because they had “spine-tingling” skills!
12. Why did the stomach go to the beach? It wanted to get a “digest” of the ocean view!
13. Why was the heart sad? It couldn’t find its “beat”!
14. Why did the toothbrush go to school? It wanted to learn about dental “brush-up”!
15. Why did the apple stop exercising? It didn’t want to “bruise” its ego!
16. Why did the nurse carry a ladder? To reach the “high” notes during check-ups!
17. Why did the virus go to the library? It wanted to check out some “viral” literature!
18. Why did the skeleton get a job as a chef? It had a “bone-appetit”!
19. Why did the athlete go to the doctor? To get a “pulse” on their health!
20. Why was the microbiologist always calm? They had “culture” under control!

1. Why did the germ get kicked out of the party? It was too contagious!
2. Why did the doctor carry a thermometer? To keep their cool!
3. Why was the skeleton a bad liar? You could see right through it!
4. Why did the flu virus break up with its girlfriend? It just needed some space!
5. Why did the carrot go to the doctor? It needed a root checkup!
6. Why was the cell phone always tired? It kept losing its charge!
7. Why did the germ feel at home in the gym? It loved a good workout!
8. Why was the toothbrush always late? It had too many cavities to fill!
9. Why did the broccoli go to the party? It wanted to be the life of the stalk!
10. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
11. Why did the grapefruit break up with its partner? It couldn’t handle the zest!
12. Why was the apple sad? It was feeling a bit bruised!
13. Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? In case they needed to “highlight” any issues!
14. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? It had no body to go with!
15. Why did the germ skip school? It felt feverish!
16. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well!
17. Why did the flu virus refuse to listen to music? It was afraid of catching “beats”!
18. Why did the stomach go to the beach? It wanted to get a “digest” of the ocean view!
19. Why was the heart sad? It couldn’t find its “beat”!
20. Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t have enough backbone!

1. Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of “bone-tired” syndrome!
2. Why don’t we ever trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something, and that’s not good for our cardiovascular health!
3. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. What did one tonsil say to the other? “Better watch out, here comes the dentist’s drill!”
6. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
7. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
8. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
9. Why did the grape stop rolling down the hill? Because it ran out of juice!
10. What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hey, bud!”
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
12. What did one eye say to the other eye? “Between you and me, something smells!”
13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
14. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
15. What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Between you and me, something smells fishy!”
16. Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!
17. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
18. Why was the broom late? Because it swept through traffic!
19. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
20. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

1. Why did the broccoli go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of “veggie-itis”!
2. What did the apple say to the doctor? “Don’t worry, I’m not the one with a bad core!”
3. Why did the carrot refuse to play hide and seek? Because it always ended up getting found, and that’s not good for its vitamin C!
4. What did the orange say to the banana? “Stop peeling down on yourself, you’re appealing just the way you are!”
5. Why did the banana go to the nurse? Because it wasn’t feeling very a-peel-ing!
6. What did the thermometer say to the flu? “You’re heating up the competition!”
7. Why did the milk go to school? Because it wanted to be pasteurized!
8. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste? “Stop brushing me off, we make a great team!”
9. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, and that made it blush!
10. What did the nurse say to the bandage? “Stick with me, and everything will heal up just fine!”
11. Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open!
12. Why was the ice cream sad? Because it was feeling a bit Rocky Road!
13. What did the stomach say to the snack? “You’re really hitting the spot!”
14. Why did the grape stop rolling down the hill? Because it ran out of steam!
15. What did the doctor say to the bee? “Buzz off, we’ve got enough patients already!”
16. Why was the chicken soup so popular? Because it never got tired of being souper!
17. What did the apple say to the orange? “You’re a-peeling to me!”
18. Why did the bicycle go to school? Because it wanted to learn to balance!
19. What did the tissue say to the sneeze? “You can’t just blow in here without warning!”
20. Why was the broom late? Because it got swept up in something!

1. Why did the gym close down? Because it just couldn’t seem to lift its spirits!
2. What did the yoga instructor say to the stressed-out client? “Take a deep breath and remember, it’s called ‘practice’ for a reason!”
3. Why did the celery break up with the carrot? Because it felt like it was always being stalked!
4. What did the marathon runner say to the sore muscles? “You may ache now, but tomorrow you’ll thank me for the memories!”
5. Why did the apple and the pear never get along? Because they were always in a crunch for space!
6. What did the scale say to the dieter? “Hey, at least gravity still likes you!”
7. Why did the banana break up with the orange? Because it couldn’t peel with the pressure!
8. What did the treadmill say to the runner? “You’re going places, but you’re not getting anywhere fast!”
9. Why did the grape go to therapy? Because it had issues with self-esteem, always feeling like it was raisin’ the bar too high!
10. What did the doctor prescribe to the insomniac? “Some quiet time and a healthy dose of Netflix!”
11. Why did the lettuce break up with the tomato? Because it felt like it was being chopped up in their relationship!
12. What did the nutritionist say to the chocolate cake? “You’re sweet, but you’re not exactly what the doctor ordered!”
13. Why did the chicken soup go to therapy? Because it felt like it was always being simmered down!
14. What did the salad say to the fridge? “Quit chillin’ on the job and help me leaf this place!”
15. Why did the gym equipment file for divorce? Because it couldn’t handle the weight of the relationship!
16. What did the cough syrup say to the sore throat? “Let’s stick together and get this phlegm outta here!”
17. Why did the bicycle refuse to exercise? Because it didn’t want to get too tired of life!
18. What did the doctor say to the patient who swallowed a coin? “No change yet? Keep checking your stool portfolio!”
19. Why did the salad break up with the crouton? Because it felt like it was just a little too rough around the edges!
20. What did the chiropractor say to the spine? “You’re the backbone of this operation!”

1. Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? Because it had a case of the “bone-chos”!
2. Why did the grape go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
3. Why did the carrot go to the doctor? Because it needed a vitamin “see”!
4. Why was the doctor always calm? Because they had a lot of patients!
5. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
6. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? “Let’s hang out, we’re in the same boat!”
7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
8. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
9. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
10. Why don’t bicycles ever get sick? Because they have good wheels!
11. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case she needed to draw blood!
12. Why did the doctor carry a red marker? In case they needed to highlight something important!
13. Why did the doctor carry a watch? To keep track of their “patients”!
14. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
15. Why did the apple go to the doctor? It felt rotten to the core!
16. Why did the germ refuse to go to school? It didn’t want to catch anything!
17. Why did the germ cross the playground? To get to the slide faster!
18. Why did the skeleton sit alone at lunch? It had no body to sit with!
19. Why did the doctor carry a ladder? To check their patients’ “heights”!
20. Why did the chicken go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of “egg-shaustion”!

1. Why did the cheese go to the doctor? Because it was feeling bleu!
2. Why did the cheese refuse to exercise? It didn’t want to strain itself!
3. What did the cheese say to the treadmill? “I’m lactose intolerant, I can’t handle this whey-ght!”
4. Why did the cheese go to the therapist? It was having an identity crisis – “Am I cheddar or Swiss?”
5. Why did the cheese have such good posture? It had a grate backbone!
6. What did the cheese say to the X-ray machine? “You’ve got me all whey-ved up!”
7. Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. What’s a cheese’s favorite exercise? Curd-lifts!
9. Why did the cheese take up meditation? To find its inner piece!
10. Why was the cheese so confident? It was sharp!
11. What did the cheese say to the knife? “That’s not gouda for me!”
12. Why did the cheese break up with the baguette? It was too crumby!
13. Why did the cheese try yoga? It wanted to be more flexible, not so stringy!
14. What did the cheese say to the thermometer? “Please don’t make me melt!”
15. Why did the cheese fail the health exam? It had too much whey-ting!
16. What did the cheese say to the doctor? “I’m feeling grate, but my joints are a little stiff!”
17. Why did the cheese refuse to go to the gym? It didn’t want to get shredded!
18. What did the cheese say to the salad? “Lettuce be friends!”
19. Why was the cheese afraid to go to the doctor? It was lactose intolerant!
20. What did the cheese say to the treadmill? “I’m not running, I’m just curdling along!”

Share a laugh !