240+ Guitar jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Guitar jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the guitar go to therapy? Because it had too many frets about its problems!
  2. What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend? Homeless.
  3. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A minor in public.
  4. How does a guitarist communicate with dolphins? With a whale-o-caster!
  5. Why did the guitar break up with the ukulele? It couldn’t handle the small strings attached.
  6. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of car? A chord Mustang!
  7. Why don’t guitarists ever become pharmacists? Because they can’t handle the scales!
  8. Why did the guitar player get kicked out of the library? Because he was jamming too loud!
  9. What do you call a guitar player who only knows two chords? A music critic.
  10. Why was the guitar late for the gig? It got caught up in a string of bad luck.
  11. How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but twenty to say they could have done it better.
  12. Why did the guitar player get in trouble at school? Because he was caught plucking strings during class!
  13. What do you call a guitarist who doesn’t have a girlfriend? Home alone.
  14. Why don’t guitarists ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always fretting!
  15. Why did the guitar player go to jail? Because he got caught fingering minors.
  16. How do you know if a guitarist is at your door? They don’t stop knocking even when you tell them to rest for a bar.
  17. What’s a guitar player’s favorite type of footwear? Strings attached boots!
  18. Why did the guitar player break up with his girlfriend? She said his strumming was too shallow.
  19. Why was the guitar player always calm during a crisis? Because he knew how to handle frets.
  20. What’s a guitarist’s favorite movie? Fret Club!
  1. Why did the guitar player go to the doctor? Because he had too much treble!
  2. What do you call a guitar player who’s also a doctor? A chordiologist!
  3. Why did the guitar player cross the road? To get to the next fret!
  4. How do you fix a broken guitar? With a guitar-antee!
  5. Why was the guitar player always so positive? Because he knew how to stay in tune with himself!
  6. What did the guitar say to the musician? “Pick me up and play me like you mean it!”
  7. Why don’t guitars ever get lost? Because they always know their way back home to the chord!
  8. What’s a guitar’s favorite snack? Strings and chips!
  9. Why was the guitar player always so calm? Because he knew how to strum away his worries!
  10. What’s a guitar’s favorite drink? Cordial!
  11. Why did the guitar player get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he couldn’t stop plucking the menu!
  12. Why don’t guitars ever go to school? Because they already know how to string along!
  13. How do you make a guitarist’s day? Give them a fret-tastic compliment!
  14. Why did the guitar player take a ladder to the gig? Because he heard the music was going to be off the charts!
  15. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of plant? A strumming succulent!
  16. Why don’t guitars ever get lonely? Because they always have their strings attached!
  17. What did the guitar say to the bass? “Stop fretting, I’ve got your back!”
  18. Why did the guitar player bring a map to the gig? Because he didn’t want to fret about getting lost in the music!
  19. What’s a guitar’s favorite game? String Seek!
  20. Why was the guitar player so good at math? Because he knew how to count his frets!

  1. Why did the guitar refuse to play in the rain? Because it didn’t want to fret about getting wet!
  2. What do you call a guitar that’s also a detective? A strumming sleuth!
  3. Why did the guitar player join the circus? Because he wanted to master the art of string balancing!
  4. How does a guitar player greet people in the morning? With a chordial “Good morning!”
  5. Why was the guitar player such a great chef? Because he knew how to shred lettuce and shred solos!
  6. What did the guitar say to the violin? “Stop stringing me along!”
  7. Why did the guitar player become an astronaut? Because he wanted to play among the stars!
  8. How do you make a guitar laugh? Tell it a fretful joke!
  9. What’s a guitar’s favorite place to shop? The string section of the music store!
  10. Why did the guitar player bring a ladder to the concert? Because he wanted to reach new heights of musical genius!
  11. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of fruit? A strum-berry!
  12. Why did the guitar player become a teacher? Because he wanted to share his chord of knowledge!
  13. What’s a guitar’s favorite dance move? The string-strut!
  14. Why was the guitar player always so popular at parties? Because he knew how to chordially invite everyone to join in the fun!
  15. What did the guitar say to the piano? “You’re looking sharp today!”
  16. Why was the guitar player so good at solving mysteries? Because he knew how to pick out clues!
  17. What’s a guitar’s favorite dessert? Fret-achio ice cream!
  18. Why did the guitar player bring a pillow to the gig? Because he wanted to rest his chords between sets!
  19. What did the guitar say when it won the talent show? “I knew I could string it together!”
  20. Why did the guitar player go to the art museum? Because he wanted to brush up on his strumming techniques!
  1. Why did the guitar break up with the piano? Because it couldn’t handle the keys!
  2. What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend? Homeless.
  3. Why did the guitar player get in trouble at school? Because he was caught plucking strings during class!
  4. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of car? A chord Mustang!
  5. Why don’t guitars ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always fretting!
  6. Why did the guitar player get kicked out of the library? Because he was jamming too loud!
  7. What’s a guitar player’s favorite type of footwear? Strings attached boots!
  8. Why did the guitar player go to jail? Because he got caught fingering minors.
  9. Why did the guitar player bring a ladder to the gig? Because he heard the music was going to be off the charts!
  10. How do you fix a broken guitar? With a guitar-antee!
  11. Why was the guitar player always so calm? Because he knew how to strum away his worries!
  12. What did the guitar say to the musician? “Pick me up and play me like you mean it!”
  13. What’s a guitar’s favorite snack? Strings and chips!
  14. Why don’t guitars ever get lost? Because they always know their way back home to the chord!
  15. Why did the guitar player take a ladder to the gig? Because he heard the music was going to be off the charts!
  16. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of plant? A strumming succulent!
  17. Why don’t guitars ever get lonely? Because they always have their strings attached!
  18. What did the guitar say to the bass? “Stop fretting, I’ve got your back!”
  19. Why was the guitar player so good at math? Because he knew how to count his frets!
  20. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of movie? A string quartet!

  1. Why did the guitar player bring a ladder to the concert? Well, you see, it all started when he heard about this legendary gig happening in the tallest tower in the city. He was so excited to go because the lineup was stacked with his favorite bands. But as he arrived at the venue, he realized it was so packed that there wasn’t an inch of space left on the ground. So, being the resourceful guitarist he is, he thought, “Why not climb up and get a bird’s eye view of the show?” So, he fetched a ladder from a nearby construction site and started his ascent. After a few minutes of climbing, he finally reached the top and secured a prime spot on the tower’s ledge. From there, he enjoyed the concert, strumming along to the music with the city skyline as his backdrop. And that’s how the guitar player ended up bringing a ladder to the concert!
  2. Once upon a time in a bustling city, there was a guitar player who dreamed of becoming the greatest musician the world had ever seen. But there was just one problem – he couldn’t seem to find the perfect guitar to match his talent. He searched high and low, from dusty pawn shops to glamorous music stores, but none of the guitars felt right in his hands. Determined not to give up, he embarked on a quest to seek out the legendary Golden Guitar, rumored to possess magical powers and unmatched sound quality. His journey took him through treacherous forests, across vast deserts, and over stormy seas. Along the way, he faced numerous challenges and encountered strange creatures, but he pressed on, fueled by his passion for music. Finally, after months of relentless pursuit, he reached the hidden temple where the Golden Guitar was said to be kept. With bated breath, he entered the temple and beheld the majestic instrument shimmering in the dim light. Without hesitation, he picked up the Golden Guitar and strummed a chord – and in that moment, he knew he had found his destiny. From that day forward, the guitar player enchanted audiences far and wide with his extraordinary music, all thanks to the legendary Golden Guitar.
  3. Picture this: it’s a bright and sunny day, and a group of friends decides to have a picnic in the park. As they unpack their sandwiches and snacks, one of them pulls out a guitar and starts strumming a catchy tune. Before long, they’re all singing along and tapping their feet to the music. But as they’re enjoying their impromptu jam session, they suddenly hear a loud rumbling noise in the distance. Confused, they look around and spot a stampede of wild animals heading straight for them – lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! Panic ensues as they scramble to gather their things and run for safety. But just when all hope seems lost, the guitar player has a brilliant idea. He quickly changes the tune he’s playing to a calming melody, and miraculously, the animals come to a halt, mesmerized by the music. As the guitar player continues to play, the once-fierce creatures start swaying to the rhythm, their roars and growls transforming into harmonious roars and growls. And so, thanks to the power of music, the friends are able to escape unscathed, with a newfound appreciation for the magic of the guitar.
  4. Imagine a world where guitars can talk – not just any guitars, but guitars with personalities as colorful as their paint jobs and voices as smooth as their strings. In this whimsical world, there’s a bustling guitar community where instruments gather to gossip, share stories, and, of course, make music together. At the heart of this community is a legendary guitar named Melody, known far and wide for her soulful tunes and wise counsel. Melody is like the matriarch of the guitar world, always ready with a word of advice or a comforting chord for her fellow instruments. One day, a young guitar named Strummer arrives in town, eager to make a name for himself and learn from the best. With Melody as his mentor, Strummer embarks on a musical journey unlike any other, encountering quirky characters, facing unexpected challenges, and discovering the true power of music along the way. Through triumphs and tribulations, Melody guides Strummer with her gentle wisdom and unwavering support, teaching him not only how to play the guitar but also how to listen to his heart and find his own voice. And so, with Melody’s guidance, Strummer becomes a true virtuoso, spreading joy and harmony wherever his strings take him.
  5. It was a dark and stormy night, and the small town of Rocksville was buzzing with excitement as the annual Battle of the Bands competition was about to begin. Bands from far and wide had gathered to showcase their talent and vie for the coveted title of Rocksville’s best band. Among the contenders was a ragtag group of misfits called The Guitar Heroes, comprised of an eccentric lead guitarist, a laid-back bassist, a fiery drummer, and a mysterious frontman known only as The Maestro. Despite their differences, The Guitar Heroes shared a deep bond forged by their love of music and their desire to rock the stage like never before. As they took to the stage and began to play, the crowd was spellbound by their electrifying performance, with each member shining in their own unique way. But just when it seemed like victory was within their grasp, disaster struck – The Maestro’s guitar suddenly went out of tune, threatening to derail their set and crush their dreams. With seconds ticking away, the lead guitarist sprang into action, unleashing a flurry of riffs and solos to cover up the mistake while the bassist and drummer held down the rhythm with unwavering precision. Miraculously, The Maestro managed to retune his guitar on the fly, and together, The Guitar Heroes finished their set with a flourish, leaving the audience cheering for an encore. In the end, it wasn’t just their talent that won them the competition – it was their resilience, camaraderie, and sheer love of music that made them true Guitar Heroes.
  1. Why did the guitar go to school? Because it wanted to be a little sharper!
  2. What did the baby guitar say to its mommy? “I love you chord-ially!”
  3. Why was the guitar so good at sports? Because it knew how to play in tune!
  4. How do you make a guitar laugh? Just tickle its strings!
  5. Why did the music teacher bring a ladder to the classroom? To reach the high notes on the guitar!
  6. What did the guitar say to the violin? “Quit stringing me along!”
  7. Why did the guitar break up with the banjo? Because it couldn’t handle the twang!
  8. What’s a guitar’s favorite subject in school? String theory!
  9. Why was the guitar teacher always so happy? Because he knew how to pick out the good notes!
  10. What do you call a bear playing a guitar? A strum bear!
  11. Why don’t guitars ever get lost? Because they always know how to find their way home to the chord!
  12. What do you call a group of guitars playing together? A strum-pet ensemble!
  13. Why was the guitar player always so popular? Because he knew how to pluck the right strings!
  14. What did the guitar say to the cheeseburger? “You’re the pick of the lunch!”
  15. Why did the guitar player bring a map to the gig? Because he didn’t want to fret about getting lost in the music!
  16. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of candy? Rock candy!
  17. Why did the guitar go to the doctor? Because it had a bad case of the frets!
  18. What’s a guitar’s favorite movie? Fret Club!
  19. Why did the guitar player go to jail? Because he got caught fingering minors.
  20. Why was the guitar late for the concert? It got stuck in a jam session!

  1. Why did the guitarist get kicked out of the bar? Because he couldn’t handle the frets!
  2. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of wine? Chardonnay G-string!
  3. Why don’t guitars ever make good lawyers? Because they always fret the case!
  4. What did the guitar say to the bass player? “You’re always playing second fiddle!”
  5. Why did the guitarist get banned from the casino? Because he kept stringing people along!
  6. What’s a guitarist’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a guitar? Because you’re plucking my heartstrings!”
  7. Why did the guitar player get fired from the brewery? Because he couldn’t handle the bar chords!
  8. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of dessert? Strum-berry pie!
  9. Why did the guitar player get in trouble at work? Because he was caught riffing on company time!
  10. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of coffee? A double shot of espresso with a side of string beans!
  11. Why did the guitar player get kicked out of the yoga class? Because he kept strumming in downward dog!
  12. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of sandwich? A riff on rye!
  13. Why did the guitarist break up with his girlfriend? Because she couldn’t handle his solo career!
  14. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of fruit? A jam-berry!
  15. Why did the guitar player go to the doctor? Because he had a serious case of the blues!
  16. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of seafood? Plaice with a side of pickled strings!
  17. Why did the guitar player get kicked out of the orchestra? Because he couldn’t resist shredding during the symphony!
  18. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of soup? Strum-boli!
  19. Why did the guitarist get thrown out of the library? Because he was caught tuning the bookshelves!
  20. What’s a guitarist’s favorite type of pasta? Fettuccine Strumfredo!
  1. Why did the guitar go to school? Because it wanted to be a little sharper!
  2. What do you call a guitar player who’s also a dad? A fret-her figure!
  3. Why was the guitar player always so forgetful? Because he kept losing track of his picks!
  4. What’s a guitar’s favorite snack? Strings and chips!
  5. Why did the guitar player go to the beach? To catch some waves… of music!
  6. Why don’t guitars ever get lost? Because they always know their way back home to the chord!
  7. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of coffee? A double shot of espresso with a side of string beans!
  8. Why did the guitar player bring a ladder to the gig? Because he heard the music was going to be off the charts!
  9. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of sandwich? A riff on rye!
  10. Why was the guitar player always so popular? Because he knew how to pluck the right strings!
  11. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of tree? A strum-pine!
  12. Why was the guitar player so good at math? Because he knew how to count his frets!
  13. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of seafood? Plaice with a side of pickled strings!
  14. Why did the guitar player bring a map to the gig? Because he didn’t want to fret about getting lost in the music!
  15. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of pasta? Fettuccine Strumfredo!
  16. Why did the guitar player get thrown out of the library? Because he was caught tuning the bookshelves!
  17. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of bird? A strummingbird!
  18. Why did the guitar player go to jail? Because he got caught fingering minors.
  19. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of weather? Strum-y weather!
  20. Why did the guitar player get kicked out of the orchestra? Because he couldn’t resist shredding during the symphony!

  1. Why did the guitar break up with the ukulele? Because it couldn’t handle the small strings attached!
  2. What did the guitar say to the musician? “I’m really picky about who I string along with!”
  3. Why did the guitar player go to the farmer’s market? To find some fresh jams!
  4. What do you call a guitar that’s also a doctor? A chordiologist!
  5. Why did the guitar player go to the bakery? To get some strum-buns!
  6. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of pizza? Extra cheesy with a side of strings!
  7. Why was the guitar player always so emotional? Because he was always strung out!
  8. What did the guitar say to the amplifier? “You really amp up my sound!”
  9. Why did the guitar get in trouble at school? Because it was caught fretting about the test!
  10. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of sandwich? A plucky-doughnut!
  11. Why did the guitar go to the party? Because it heard there would be plenty of strumming and humming!
  12. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of dance? The string shuffle!
  13. Why was the guitar always so hungry? Because it had an insatiable appetite for chords!
  14. What do you call a guitar player who’s also a pirate? Captain Strum-hook!
  15. Why was the guitar player always so confident? Because he knew how to fret his stuff!
  16. What did the guitar say to the piano? “Quit keying in on my territory!”
  17. Why did the guitar go to the beach? To catch some waves… of music!
  18. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of cheese? String cheese, of course!
  19. Why did the guitar player bring a ladder to the gig? Because he heard the music was going to be off the charts!
  20. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of movie? A string quartet!

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