- Why do flat earthers avoid social media? Because they can’t deal with the sphere of influence.
- Why don’t flat earthers believe in gravity? They can’t seem to get around it.
- Why was the flat earth debate team so bad? They lost every round.
- How do you throw a party for a flat earther? You make it a surprise party at the edge.
- Why are flat earthers bad at playing cards? They think all the global hints are just bluffs.
- Why did the flat earther get a job at the pizza place? Because he believed in a flat crust.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite movie? “Around the Block in 80 Days.”
- Why can’t flat earthers play chess? Because they can’t handle the concept of a bishop moving diagonally around the globe.
- Why do flat earthers avoid drinking soda? They’re afraid of the bubbles proving spherical geometry.
- How do flat earthers travel? In a straight line, until they loop around to their own disbelief.
- Why did the flat earther break up with his girlfriend? She said she needed space, and he couldn’t believe in it.
- Why don’t flat earthers like to go to school? Because they think all the lessons are too well-rounded.
- Why are flat earthers terrible at hide and seek? Because they think everyone is hiding just over the edge.
- How do flat earthers solve a puzzle? Edge pieces first, ignoring the rest because they don’t believe they fit.
- What do you call a flat earther with a PhD? A professor of disbelief.
- Why do flat earthers hate playing sports? Because there’s too much talk of global competition.
- How do flat earthers view the ocean? As the ultimate end of the line.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite game? “Edge of the Empire.”
- Why did the flat earther refuse to fly in an airplane? He was afraid of seeing the curve and having his worldview upended.
- How do flat earthers decorate their homes? With flat-screen TVs and pictures of the horizon, to prove their point.
- Why did the flat earther never take risks? Because he lived on the edge.
- How do flat earthers go on vacation? They don’t, they’re afraid of falling off the end.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite type of music? Anything, as long as it’s not globally popular.
- Why are flat earthers bad at basketball? They can’t grasp the concept of shooting around the globe.
- Why don’t flat earthers believe in fast food? Because they can’t understand how a round pizza comes in a square box and has triangular slices.
- What do you call a flat earth seminar? A flat chat.
- How do flat earthers explain day and night? As the universe’s way of blinking.
- Why can’t flat earthers play pool? Because they think the world’s biggest cue ball has corners.
- Why did the flat earther bring a ladder to the beach? He wanted to see over the edge.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite board game? Risk, but they never attack Kamchatka because they’re not sure it exists.
- Why don’t flat earthers like to cook? Because they can’t stomach the idea of a spherical onion.
- How do flat earthers explain global warming? “The edge is getting too hot; we’re all going to slide off!”
- What do you call an undecided flat earther? Sphere-curious.
- Why did the flat earther get excited at the art gallery? He thought he’d finally found the edge of the canvas.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite hobby? Spreading thin theories.
- Why did the flat earther break his compass? He got frustrated that every direction was just leading him in circles.
- Why don’t flat earthers like globes? They can’t figure out how to hang them on their walls.
- How do flat earthers tell time? With a sundial, because they’re convinced everything else is too round.
- What’s a flat earther’s least favorite candy? Orbit gum.
- Why was the flat earther a bad actor? Because he could never see the other side of the story.
- Why do flat earthers excel at map reading? Because they always refuse to look at the bigger picture.
- What did the flat earther say at the art museum? “Finally, some realistic landscapes!”
- Why do flat earthers hate playing basketball? Because they can’t handle the idea of a three-dimensional sphere being so central to success.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite way to travel? By plane, because it’s as flat as they think the Earth is.
- How do flat earthers break up with someone? “It’s not you, it’s the edge of the world. I need my space.”
- Why was the flat earther a poor investor? He couldn’t grasp the concept of global markets.
- What do flat earthers and cats have in common? Both are terrified of vacuum cleaners for fear of being sucked into space.
- Why are flat earthers bad at secrets? Because they think everything is on the surface.
- Why don’t flat earthers believe in depth perception? Because to them, everything is superficial.
- How do flat earthers describe their perfect relationship? No curves, just straight lines.
- Why do flat earthers avoid spicy food? They can’t handle anything that adds too much dimension to their palette.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite computer hardware? The flat-screen monitor, for its lack of depth.
- Why do flat earthers struggle with cooking recipes from around the world? They can’t acknowledge the globe’s variety of ingredients.
- How do flat earthers organize a meeting? “Let’s all gather at the edge of reason.”
- What’s a flat earther’s least favorite carnival ride? The globe-trotting Ferris wheel.
- Why do flat earthers dread laundry day? Because they can’t reconcile with the spin cycle’s implication of rotation.
- Why was the flat earther calm during the storm? He believed thunder was just the sound of people bumping into the sky’s edge.
- What do flat earthers and skeptics have in common? An unshakable belief that there’s more surface to scratch.
- Why don’t flat earthers like to dive into pools? They’re afraid of diving off the edge into the unknown.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite snack? Anything as long as it’s not globe grapes or spherical chocolates.
- Why don’t flat earthers ever play soccer? They’re afraid the ball might fall off the edge.
- Flat Earth dating advice: If they say your love has no bounds, make sure they don’t mean literally.
- Why did the flat earther break up with his girlfriend? She said she needed space.
- Flat earthers don’t fear global warming—they’re worried about edge heating.
- Why do flat earthers have poor internet? Because it’s hard to get good coverage on the edge.
- Why don’t flat earthers ever climb mountains? They don’t want to accidentally flip the earth over.
- What do you call a flat earth conference? A global gathering of round skeptics.
- Why did the flat earther get lost at sea? He took a wrong turn at the edge of the map.
- Why can’t flat earthers play chess? Because they can’t handle any talk of the globe.
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite movie? “Around the Block in 80 Days.”
- How do flat earthers travel? On a plane. Literally.
- Why did the flat earther refuse to fly? He was afraid of over-sailing the world.
- What’s a flat earther’s biggest fear at a beach? Tsunamis tipping over the edge.
- Why are flat earthers bad at basketball? They’re used to defending a flat court.
- Why don’t flat earthers trust elevators? Because they can’t comprehend going up on a flat surface.
- How do you confuse a flat earther? Ask them to explain time zones without using a globe.
- Why did the flat earther bring a ladder to the debate? He heard the discussion was on a whole new level.
- What do flat earthers and computers have in common? They both shut down when they can’t find the drivers for a globe.
- Why did the flat earther stay home from school? He heard they were going to cover geography.
- How do flat earthers explain gravity? “What goes up must come… sideways?”
- Why did the flat earther bring a ladder to the edge of the world? Because he wanted to see what was on the other side but was afraid of falling off!
- How does a flat earther navigate on the ocean? With a protractor and a hope that they don’t sail off the edge!
- Why did the flat earther refuse to go on a round-the-world trip? Because they were afraid they’d end up back where they started on the other side of the “disc”!
- How do flat earthers view global warming? They think it’s just the edges of the world melting!
- Why did the flat earther fail math class? Because they couldn’t wrap their head around the concept of spheres!
- What did the flat earther say when asked about gravity? “It’s just the Earth’s way of keeping us from floating off into space!”
- How does a flat earther explain lunar eclipses? They think it’s just the moon taking a break from shining its light on the “disc”!
- Why don’t flat earthers believe in satellite imagery? Because they think it’s all just CGI created to hide the truth!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite movie? “The Truman Show” – because they relate to Truman trying to discover the truth about his world!
- Why did the flat earther refuse to use GPS? Because they believe satellites are just a conspiracy to make them believe the Earth is round!
- How do flat earthers explain time zones? They think it’s just a clever way to distract people from realizing the truth!
- Why did the flat earther bring a telescope to the beach? Because they wanted to see if they could spot the edge of the world!
- What did the flat earther say to the astronaut? “Come back when you’ve found the edge of the world!”
- Why did the flat earther start a cooking show? Because they wanted to prove the world is as flat as a pancake!
- How does a flat earther explain mountains? They think they’re just giant wrinkles in the Earth’s fabric!
- Why don’t flat earthers believe in flying to other continents? Because they’re afraid the plane might accidentally fly off the edge!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite board game? “Flat-opoly” – because it’s all about buying up properties on the flat “disc”!
- Why did the flat earther join a circus? Because they wanted to perform their gravity-defying act on the “edge”!
- How does a flat earther explain the aurora borealis? They think it’s just the Earth’s way of putting on a light show at the edge of the world!
- Why did the flat earther become a philosopher? Because they wanted to ponder the mysteries of the flat universe!
- Why did the flat earth kid bring a ruler to school? Because they wanted to measure how flat the globe looks on the map!
- How does a flat earth kid make friends? By asking if they’ve ever fallen off the edge of the world!
- Why did the flat earth kid refuse to play basketball? Because they were afraid the ball might roll off the flat court!
- What did the flat earth kid say when asked about geography? “I’m a pro at finding the center of the flat universe!”
- Why did the flat earth kid think they were in trouble when they got sent to the principal’s office? Because they thought they were being sent to the edge of the world!
- How does a flat earth kid explain why they can’t see certain countries on a map? They think those countries are just hiding behind the curve!
- Why did the flat earth kid bring a compass to show and tell? Because they wanted to prove that all directions lead to the edge!
- What’s a flat earth kid’s favorite subject in school? Geography – because they love exploring the flatness of the world!
- Why did the flat earth kid refuse to go on a field trip to the museum? Because they were afraid the exhibits might reveal the truth about the round earth!
- How does a flat earth kid explain why they can’t see the other side of a hill? They think it’s because it’s too far away, not because of curvature!
- Why did the flat earth kid become a detective? Because they wanted to solve the mystery of what lies beyond the edge!
- What did the flat earth kid say when asked about space? “It’s just a big empty void beyond the edge of our flat world!”
- Why did the flat earth kid think they could see the Eiffel Tower from their backyard? Because they believed in the power of flat perspective!
- How does a flat earth kid explain why ships disappear on the horizon? They think it’s because they’ve reached the edge of the world!
- Why did the flat earth kid think they were on a never-ending road trip? Because they believed the road just loops around the flat disc!
- What did the flat earth kid say when asked about climate change? “It’s just the weather patterns shifting around the flat surface!”
- Why did the flat earth kid think the sky was a dome? Because they thought it was holding in all the flatness!
- How does a flat earth kid explain why airplanes fly straight? They believe it’s because they’re following the flat curvature of the earth!
- Why did the flat earth kid bring a telescope to the beach? Because they wanted to see if they could spot the edge of the world from there!
- What’s a flat earth kid’s favorite game? “Ring Around the Flat Earth” – because they love imagining the world as a flat disc!
- Why did the flat earther refuse to go skydiving? Because they were afraid they’d plummet straight off the edge!
- How does a flat earther explain sunsets? They think it’s just the sun dipping below the flat horizon!
- Why did the flat earther get kicked out of the astronomy club? Because they kept insisting that all the planets were just flat discs!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite pickup line? “Are you the edge of the world? Because you’ve got me falling head over heels!”
- Why did the flat earther bring a level to the beach? Because they wanted to make sure the horizon was perfectly flat!
- How does a flat earther explain airplanes flying in circles? They think it’s just the pilots trying to navigate around the flat disc!
- Why did the flat earther start a cooking show? Because they wanted to prove that the world is as flat as a pancake!
- What did the flat earther say when asked about satellite TV? “It’s all just signals bouncing off the dome covering the flat earth!”
- Why don’t flat earthers believe in downhill skiing? Because they think it’s just an illusion caused by the flat slope!
- How does a flat earther explain lunar eclipses? They think it’s just the moon passing behind the flat earth’s shadow!
- Why did the flat earther become a philosopher? Because they wanted to ponder the mysteries of the flat universe over a flat cup of coffee!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite genre of music? “Flat Rock” – because they love the steady beat that matches the flatness of the world!
- Why did the flat earther get fired from their job as a pilot? Because they kept insisting on flying in a straight line off the edge of the world!
- How does a flat earther explain time zones? They think it’s just a conspiracy to hide the fact that the world is flat!
- Why did the flat earther start a DIY channel? Because they wanted to show everyone how to build their own flat earth model!
- What did the flat earther say when asked about space exploration? “It’s all just a hoax to distract us from the truth about the flat earth!”
- Why did the flat earther refuse to use a globe as a decoration? Because they didn’t want any reminders of the false round earth model!
- How does a flat earther explain mountain ranges? They think they’re just big wrinkles in the flat earth’s surface!
- Why did the flat earther become a comedian? Because they wanted to joke about the flatness of the world until they reached the edge of laughter!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite cocktail? “The Flat-tini” – because it’s as smooth and level as the horizon they believe in!
- Why did the flat earth dad refuse to buy a globe for his kids? Because he didn’t want them rolling around with the wrong idea!
- How does a flat earth dad find the best fishing spots? He looks for the spots where the water’s edge is closest to the edge of the world!
- Why did the flat earth dad bring a level to the barbecue? Because he wanted to make sure the grill was perfectly flat!
- What did the flat earth dad say when his kids asked about the North Pole? “It’s just the center of our flat universe, where all compasses point!”
- Why did the flat earth dad refuse to watch movies about space? Because he didn’t want his kids getting any round earth ideas!
- How does a flat earth dad explain the seasons? He says it’s just the sun moving closer and farther away from the flat earth’s surface!
- Why did the flat earth dad become a gardener? Because he wanted to plant evidence of the flatness of the world!
- What did the flat earth dad say when his kids asked about astronauts? “They’re just actors pretending to float in space to fool us about the flat truth!”
- Why did the flat earth dad get a job as a painter? Because he wanted to make sure every horizon he painted was perfectly flat!
- How does a flat earth dad explain why planes fly? He says they’re just gliding along the flat surface of the earth!
- Why did the flat earth dad start a DIY channel? Because he wanted to teach people how to build their own flat earth models!
- What did the flat earth dad say when asked about the curvature of the earth? “It’s just a trick of the light, son!”
- Why did the flat earth dad take his kids to the beach at sunrise? Because he wanted to show them the flatness of the horizon before it got too crowded!
- How does a flat earth dad explain why ships disappear over the horizon? He says they’re just sailing off the edge of the flat earth!
- Why did the flat earth dad refuse to buy a telescope? Because he didn’t want to see any round planets!
- What did the flat earth dad say when his kids asked about gravity? “It’s just the flat earth pulling everything straight down!”
- Why did the flat earth dad start a podcast? Because he wanted to spread the word about the flat truth to the whole world!
- How does a flat earth dad explain why the sky is blue? He says it’s just the reflection of the flat earth’s surface!
- Why did the flat earth dad bring a level on a family hike? Because he wanted to make sure they were walking on perfectly flat ground!
- What did the flat earth dad say when his kids asked about the shape of the moon? “It’s just a flat circle in the sky, like a big glowing pancake!”
- Why did the flat earther bring a ladder to the edge of the world? To reach new heights in their beliefs!
- How does a flat earther navigate? With a GPS (Flat Earth Positioning System) that always points to the center!
- Why did the flat earther become a musician? They wanted to play flat notes on a flat planet!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite type of pizza? Extra flat with a side of conspiracy theories!
- Why don’t flat earthers get lost? Because they always know which way is flat!
- Why did the flat earther refuse to use a globe? They couldn’t handle the curvature!
- How does a flat earther measure time? With a flat clock, of course!
- Why did the flat earther go to school? To learn about the flat-ulations of the universe!
- What did the flat earther say to the sphere? “You’re not my type, I prefer things on the level.”
- Why was the flat earther always calm during turbulence? Because they believed the plane was just flying over a really bumpy pancake!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite dessert? Flat Earth Pie with a crust made of disbelief!
- Why did the flat earther become a gardener? They wanted to cultivate flat flowers in a flat world!
- How does a flat earther go camping? They pitch their tent on the edge of reason!
- Why did the flat earther become a painter? They wanted to capture the flat horizon in every masterpiece!
- What did the flat earther say when asked about space? “I’m sorry, I only believe in the space between my ears!”
- Why did the flat earther join a band? They wanted to rock out on a flat stage!
- How does a flat earther organize their books? In a flat library, of course!
- Why did the flat earther become a comedian? They wanted to keep their jokes as flat as the Earth!
- What’s a flat earther’s favorite movie genre? Flat-ure films with plots that never curve!
- Why did the flat earther become a tailor? They wanted to make clothes that fit the flat Earth lifestyle!