240+ First aid jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ First aid jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the bandage go to the party? Because it wanted to be a wrap star!
  2. Why did the first aid kit break up with the medicine cabinet? It found someone who could heal its heart.
  3. Why was the first aid book so confident? Because it knew it had all the right covers.
  4. Why did the CPR dummy break up with its girlfriend? She kept saying, “You take my breath away” too literally.
  5. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
  6. Why did the first aid kit apply for a job? Because it wanted to work in a healing environment!
  7. Why did the bandage blush? Because it saw the wound it had to cover!
  8. Why did the first aid kit become a comedian? It had a lot of band-aids for its punchlines!
  9. Why did the ambulance break up with the hospital? It found someone who could drive its heart faster!
  10. Why did the EMT break up with their partner? They just couldn’t find the right rhythm.
  11. Why did the aspirin break up with the bandage? It just couldn’t stick together anymore.
  12. Why did the medical student bring a ladder to class? Because the professor said the test would be on a higher level!
  13. Why did the bandage bring a map? It wanted to find its way around the wound!
  14. Why did the doctor carry a watch? To keep track of the patient’s pulse of course!
  15. Why did the first aid manual break up with the encyclopedia? It found someone with more current information.
  16. Why did the ambulance break up with the fire truck? They couldn’t handle the siren song of another.
  17. Why was the first aid kit always calm? It knew how to keep its composure under pressure.
  18. Why did the CPR instructor break up with their partner? They kept giving them the kiss of life at inappropriate times.
  19. Why did the gauze roll its eyes? Because the situation was too wound up!
  20. Why did the doctor carry a map? In case they needed to find the quickest route to the heart!
  1. Why did the bandage go to school? It wanted to stick around for some education!
  2. Why did the first aid kit get promoted? Because it was outstanding in its field!
  3. Why did the CPR dummy get a speeding ticket? It was caught doing chest compressions in a 60-zone!
  4. Why did the ambulance break up with the bicycle? It just couldn’t keep up with its pace!
  5. Why did the first aid manual become a comedian? It had the best punchlines for emergencies!
  6. Why did the bandage bring a suitcase? It was ready for a wound-erful journey!
  7. Why did the medical student carry a ladder? To reach the highest grades, of course!
  8. Why did the aspirin refuse to fight? Because it was a pain reliever, not a troublemaker!
  9. Why did the bandage bring a camera to the party? To capture the memories, one wound at a time!
  10. Why did the ambulance go to the party? It heard there would be a lot of emergencies!
  11. Why did the first aid kit get an award? Because it knew how to stick together in tough situations!
  12. Why did the EMT bring a broom? To sweep away the competition!
  13. Why did the bandage bring a flashlight? To shed light on the darkest wounds!
  14. Why did the doctor carry a baseball bat? In case they needed to hit home runs for health!
  15. Why did the first aid kit break up with the suitcase? It wanted a relationship that wasn’t so packed!
  16. Why did the bandage get a job at the bakery? It was great at wrapping things up!
  17. Why did the CPR dummy refuse to play cards? It was tired of always being dealt a bad hand!
  18. Why did the ambulance driver bring a pillow to work? For those emergency nap times!
  19. Why did the first aid manual become a teacher? It had all the right answers for health!
  20. Why did the bandage bring a parachute? In case it needed to make a wound-erful escape!

  1. Why did the bandage win the marathon? Because it knew how to stick to the course!
  2. Why did the first aid kit win the spelling bee? Because it knew all the right bandages!
  3. Why did the CPR dummy win the dance competition? Because it had the best chest moves!
  4. Why did the ambulance win the talent show? Because it knew how to siren-g!
  5. Why did the first aid manual win the math contest? Because it could solve problems in a heartbeat!
  6. Why did the bandage win the art competition? Because it knew how to wrap things up artistically!
  7. Why did the EMT win the cooking competition? Because they knew how to handle the pressure cooker!
  8. Why did the first aid kit win the debate? Because it had all the right arguments to mend!
  9. Why did the CPR dummy win the singing contest? Because it had the best breath control!
  10. Why did the ambulance win the science fair? Because it had the fastest response time!
  11. Why did the bandage win the comedy show? Because it had everyone in stitches!
  12. Why did the first aid manual win the puzzle competition? Because it could piece things together in a snap!
  13. Why did the CPR dummy win the fashion show? Because it knew how to breathe life into any outfit!
  14. Why did the ambulance win the geography contest? Because it always knew the quickest route!
  15. Why did the bandage win the race? Because it had a good grip on the situation!
  16. Why did the first aid kit win the music competition? Because it had the perfect tempo to heal!
  17. Why did the CPR dummy win the trivia contest? Because it had a wealth of life-saving knowledge!
  18. Why did the ambulance win the chess tournament? Because it knew how to make strategic moves!
  19. Why did the bandage win the gardening contest? Because it knew how to cultivate healing!
  20. Why did the first aid kit win the film festival? Because it had the best reel of remedies!
  1. Why did the bandage go to school? To get stuck in class!
  2. Why was the first aid kit always calm? It knew how to keep its composure!
  3. Why did the CPR dummy break up with its girlfriend? She kept saying, “You take my breath away” too literally.
  4. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
  5. Why did the first aid kit apply for a job? It wanted to work in a healing environment!
  6. Why did the bandage blush? It saw the wound it had to cover!
  7. Why did the first aid kit become a comedian? It had a lot of band-aids for its punchlines!
  8. Why did the ambulance break up with the hospital? It found someone who could drive its heart faster!
  9. Why did the EMT break up with their partner? They just couldn’t find the right rhythm.
  10. Why did the aspirin break up with the bandage? They just couldn’t stick together anymore.
  11. Why did the bandage bring a ladder to class? Because the professor said the test would be on a higher level!
  12. Why did the bandage bring a map? It wanted to find its way around the wound!
  13. Why did the doctor carry a watch? To keep track of the patient’s pulse, of course!
  14. Why did the first aid manual break up with the encyclopedia? It found someone with more current information.
  15. Why did the ambulance break up with the fire truck? They couldn’t handle the siren song of another.
  16. Why was the first aid kit always calm? It knew how to keep its composure under pressure.
  17. Why did the CPR instructor break up with their partner? They kept giving them the kiss of life at inappropriate times.
  18. Why did the gauze roll its eyes? Because the situation was too wound up!
  19. Why did the doctor carry a map? In case they needed to find the quickest route to the heart!
  20. Why did the bandage bring a suitcase? It was ready for a wound-erful journey!

  1. Why did the bandage apply for a job at the hospital? Well, you see, it had been feeling a bit stuck in its current situation, and it figured it was time for a change. So, it went to the hospital and said, “I’d like to be part of your team.” The hospital looked at the bandage and asked, “What can you bring to the table?” The bandage replied, “I have a strong adhesive personality and I’m very good at covering things up!” Needless to say, the hospital hired the bandage on the spot!
  2. Once upon a time, there was a first aid kit who wanted to be more than just a box of supplies. It dreamed of being a hero, of saving lives, of being the first thing people turned to in an emergency. So, one day, it packed itself up and went out into the world. It traveled far and wide, offering its services to anyone in need. Along the way, it encountered all sorts of situations – from paper cuts to broken bones. And through it all, the first aid kit was there, ready to lend a helping hand. And you know what? In its own special way, it did become a hero. Because sometimes, all it takes to save the day is a little bandage and some antiseptic spray.
  3. Why did the CPR dummy decide to take up painting? Well, you see, it had been feeling a bit deflated lately. Every time it practiced CPR, it just couldn’t seem to get the breaths right. So, it thought to itself, “Maybe I need a new hobby, something that doesn’t involve mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.” And that’s when it discovered painting. With a brush in hand, the CPR dummy found a new way to express itself. It painted landscapes, portraits, still lifes – you name it. And you know what? It turned out to be pretty good! In fact, its paintings were so lifelike that people often mistook them for the real thing. So, in the end, the CPR dummy found its true calling – bringing art to life in more ways than one.
  4. There once was a doctor who was so dedicated to his patients that he carried his medical bag with him everywhere he went. One day, while on vacation, he decided to go for a hike in the mountains. As he was walking along a narrow trail, he heard a cry for help. He rushed to the source of the sound and found a hiker who had fallen and injured his leg. Without hesitation, the doctor sprang into action. He opened his medical bag and began to treat the hiker’s wounds. He bandaged the leg, gave him pain medication, and even fashioned a makeshift splint out of nearby branches. When the hiker asked how the doctor happened to have all these supplies with him, the doctor simply smiled and said, “A true healer is always prepared, no matter where they may roam.”
  5. Why did the ambulance driver decide to become a comedian? Well, you see, it had been driving around all day, rushing from one emergency to the next, and it was starting to feel a bit stressed out. So, it thought to itself, “Maybe I need to lighten up a bit, find some humor in the chaos.” And that’s when it discovered stand-up comedy. With a mic in hand, the ambulance driver took to the stage and began to tell jokes about life on the road. It joked about traffic jams, about sirens, about the strange things people do when they’re in a panic. And you know what? It turned out to be pretty funny! In fact, people loved its jokes so much that they started calling the ambulance just to hear them. So, in the end, the ambulance driver found a new way to bring joy to people’s lives – one punchline at a time.
  1. Why did the bandage go to school? To stick to its studies!
  2. Why did the first aid kit get an award? Because it knew how to heal the competition!
  3. Why did the CPR dummy get invited to all the parties? Because it knew how to breathe life into the celebration!
  4. Why did the ambulance break up with the taxi? It wanted someone with more sirens!
  5. Why did the first aid manual get a standing ovation? Because it knew how to cover all the basics!
  6. Why did the bandage bring a backpack to the picnic? In case there was a wrap emergency!
  7. Why did the medical student bring a calculator to class? Because they wanted to multiply their knowledge!
  8. Why did the aspirin refuse to play hide and seek? Because it didn’t want to be taken for granted!
  9. Why did the bandage bring a camera to the playground? To capture all the boo-boos and smiles!
  10. Why did the ambulance driver bring a map to work? To find the quickest route to the heart of the emergency!
  11. Why did the first aid kit get promoted? Because it knew how to stick with the job!
  12. Why did the EMT bring a broom to the hospital? To sweep away the pain!
  13. Why did the bandage bring a flashlight to the sleepover? In case it got wrapped up in the dark!
  14. Why did the doctor carry a baseball bat? To hit home runs for health!
  15. Why did the first aid kit break up with the suitcase? It found someone with less baggage!
  16. Why did the bandage get a job at the bakery? It was great at wrapping things up!
  17. Why did the CPR dummy refuse to play cards? It was tired of always being dealt a bad hand!
  18. Why did the ambulance driver bring a pillow to work? For emergency nap times!
  19. Why did the first aid manual become a teacher? It had all the right answers for health!
  20. Why did the bandage bring a parachute? In case it needed to make a wound-erful escape!

  1. Why did the bandage break up with its partner? Because it was tired of being wound up all the time!
  2. Why did the first aid kit go to therapy? It had too many emotional bandages!
  3. Why did the CPR dummy join a dating app? It was looking for someone to give it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!
  4. Why did the ambulance driver get a speeding ticket? Because it was too siren-g around town!
  5. Why did the first aid manual break up with the encyclopedia? It found more up-to-date information on Google!
  6. Why did the bandage bring a flask to the party? In case it needed some liquid courage!
  7. Why did the doctor carry a stress ball? To keep their patience!
  8. Why did the EMT bring a yoga mat to work? To stay flexible in emergencies!
  9. Why did the aspirin break up with the headache? It just couldn’t deal with the pressure anymore!
  10. Why did the bandage start a band? Because it had some serious wrapping skills!
  11. Why did the ambulance driver bring a pillow to work? For those long, exhausting shifts!
  12. Why did the first aid kit refuse to lend money? It was tired of being taken for bandages!
  13. Why did the CPR instructor break up with their partner? They kept giving them mouth-to-mouth when it wasn’t necessary!
  14. Why did the bandage bring a GPS to the picnic? It wanted to find its way around the cuts and bruises!
  15. Why did the doctor carry a stethoscope to the party? To listen to the heartbeat of the fun!
  16. Why did the first aid manual become a bartender? It knew how to mix up some serious remedies!
  17. Why did the bandage go to therapy? It had too many emotional scars!
  18. Why did the ambulance driver bring a compass to work? To always find the right direction in emergencies!
  19. Why did the first aid kit get a job in sales? Because it had the perfect pitch for healing!
  20. Why did the bandage bring a snorkel to the beach? In case it got wrapped up in the waves!
  1. Why did the first aid kit break up with the bandage? It felt too wrapped up in itself.
  2. What do you call a first aid instructor who loves to gamble? A betting bandage!
  3. Why don’t first aid kits ever get lost? Because they have a strong sense of pulse!
  4. Why was the first aid kit always calm during emergencies? It had a lot of bandage control.
  5. How does a first aid kit greet its friends? “Hey, are you feeling woundedful today?”
  6. Why don’t first aid kits ever win at hide and seek? Because they’re always in plain sight!
  7. Why did the bandage break up with the adhesive tape? It couldn’t stick around for commitment.
  8. Why don’t first aid kits ever get lonely? They always have plenty of bandages for company!
  9. What’s a first aid kit’s favorite type of music? Band-aid!
  10. Why don’t first aid kits make good comedians? Their jokes are always too “corny-copia.”
  11. Why did the first aid kit enroll in a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to heal and sauté!
  12. Why don’t first aid kits ever get tired? They always have a lot of stamina-gauze!
  13. What did the bandage say to the wound? “Let’s stick together through thick and thin!”
  14. Why did the first aid kit go to school? It wanted to become a better band-aid!
  15. Why don’t first aid kits play hide and seek with scissors? They always get cut out of the game!
  16. Why did the first aid kit bring a ladder to the party? It heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
  17. Why don’t first aid kits ever get lost in the forest? They always know how to find their way back to the first-aid post!
  18. What did the bandage say to the wound at the party? “You’re really sticking out tonight!”
  19. Why was the first aid kit afraid of the dark? It was scared it wouldn’t be able to find its way around!
  20. Why don’t first aid kits ever win at poker? Because they always fold too easily!

  1. Why did the first aid kit go to school? To learn how to heal with cheesy puns!
  2. What did the bandage say to the wound? “I’m sticking with you till the cheesy end!”
  3. Why don’t first aid kits ever get into arguments? They always prefer to “patch” things up!
  4. What’s a first aid kit’s favorite movie genre? Rom-antics!
  5. Why don’t first aid kits ever go on diets? They believe in embracing their cheesy contents!
  6. What did the first aid kit say to the injured person? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered in cheesy goodness!”
  7. Why did the first aid kit break up with the cheese? It felt too emotionally wrapped up!
  8. Why don’t first aid kits ever feel lonely? They always have a cheesy companion!
  9. Why did the bandage blush? It was feeling a bit cheesy around the wound!
  10. What did the cheesy first aid kit say to the paramedic? “You’re the whey to my heart!”
  11. Why did the first aid kit go to the party? It heard there was going to be a cheese platter!
  12. Why don’t first aid kits ever get nervous? They’re always well-prepared and have a cheesy grin!
  13. Why did the bandage enroll in a cheese-making class? It wanted to learn how to wrap things up in style!
  14. What’s a first aid kit’s favorite type of cheese? Band-aid Cheddar!
  15. Why don’t first aid kits ever play hide and seek? They’re too cheesy to hide!
  16. What did the bandage say to the cheese? “You’re grate!”
  17. Why did the first aid kit bring a cheese grater to the picnic? It wanted to shred some cheese!
  18. Why don’t first aid kits ever get cold? They always have plenty of cheesy blankets!
  19. What did the cheesy first aid kit say to the broken arm? “Let’s stick together, we make a gouda team!”
  20. Why did the bandage refuse to go to the cheese festival? It was afraid it would get stuck in a cheesy situation!

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