240+ Duck walks into a bar jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Duck walks into a bar jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. A duck walks into a bar wearing a sombrero and orders a quackarita.
  2. So, a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you serve ducktails?”
  3. This duck walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a bill, please.”
  4. A duck walks into a bar and says, “Put it on my bill.”
  5. So, a duck walks into a bar, waddles up to the bartender, and says, “Got any quacks?”
  6. There’s this duck who walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. Bartender says, “Sure thing, just quacking?”
  7. A duck walks into a bar with a frog on its head. Bartender asks, “What can I get you?” The frog says, “Anything but a water, please.”
  8. So, a duck walks into a bar and orders a round for the whole pond.
  9. This duck walks into a bar and starts doing the disco dance. Bartender says, “What’s with the moves?” Duck replies, “Just quackin’ it up!”
  10. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Got any grapes?” Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve snacks.”
  11. So, a duck walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. Bartender says, “That’ll be one duck buck.”
  12. There’s a duck who walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. Bartender says, “What’s your bill?”
  13. A duck walks into a bar wearing sunglasses. Bartender asks, “Why the shades?” Duck says, “Just trying to keep my bills straight.”
  14. So, a duck walks into a bar and asks, “Got any duck-sized stools?”
  15. This duck walks into a bar with a steering wheel down its pants. Bartender says, “What’s with the wheel?” Duck replies, “I don’t know, but it’s driving me quackers!”
  16. A duck walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. Bartender says, “What’s your quack?”
  17. So, a duck walks into a bar and starts tap dancing on the counter. Bartender asks, “What’s with the fancy footwork?” Duck says, “Just getting my webbed feet moving!”
  18. There’s this duck who walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
  19. A duck walks into a bar with a chicken on its head. Bartender says, “Can I help you?” Chicken says, “Yeah, can you get this duck off my back?”
  20. So, a duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “You got any grapes?” Bartender says, “No, and if you ask me again, I’m going to nail your bill to the floor!”
  1. A duck walks into a bar wearing a tutu and asks the bartender, “Got any quacks on tap?”
  2. So, a duck waddles into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a bill on the rocks, please.”
  3. This duck strolls into a bar with a tiny umbrella and orders a “Duckarita.”
  4. A duck marches into a bar, looks around, and says, “I’m here to shake my tail feathers!”
  5. There’s a duck who walks into a bar and orders a “fowl” play of drinks.
  6. So, a duck waltzes into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you serve duck confit here? Just kidding, give me a quacktail!”
  7. This duck stumbles into a bar and exclaims, “I’m feeling a little ‘ducky’ tonight! Time to quack up the party!”
  8. A duck wobbles into a bar and requests a “feather-ruffle fizz.”
  9. So, a duck saunters into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m feeling peckish. Got any duck snacks?”
  10. This duck wiggles into a bar and orders a round for the whole pond, saying, “Put it on my bill!”
  11. A duck hops into a bar, looks around, and asks the bartender, “Is this where the ducktails happen?”
  12. So, a duck flutters into a bar and declares, “Tonight, we quack!”
  13. This duck sashays into a bar and challenges the bartender to a game of “Duck Duck Booze!”
  14. A duck glides into a bar wearing sunglasses and says, “I’m just here to make a splash!”
  15. So, a duck pirouettes into a bar and orders a “pond punch.”
  16. This duck trots into a bar and announces, “I’m on a mission to find the ultimate quacktail!”
  17. A duck stumbles into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m not drunk, I’m just ‘duckted’!”
  18. So, a duck struts into a bar and asks the bartender, “Got any duck-sized stools?”
  19. This duck wiggles into a bar and orders a “web-footed wobbler.”
  20. A duck hops into a bar with a frog on its back. Bartender asks, “What’s with the frog?” Duck says, “Oh, he’s just my designated hopper!”

  1. A duck waddles into a bar and orders a “Bill-ionaire’s Brew.”
  2. So, a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you serve ducktails? I’m feeling quite ‘fowl’ tonight.”
  3. This duck strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a ‘beak-on’ and soda, please.”
  4. A duck struts into a bar and requests a “Quack Shot.”
  5. There’s a duck who walks into a bar and orders a “Ducktini.”
  6. So, a duck waltzes into a bar and says, “I’m not here to ‘wing’ it; I’m here for the drinks!”
  7. This duck glides into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any ‘pond water’ for us waterfowl?”
  8. A duck marches into a bar and orders a “Web-footed White Russian.”
  9. So, a duck saunters into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m feeling ‘downy’ today. Got any brews to lift my spirits?”
  10. This duck wiggles into a bar and asks, “Do you have any ‘duck-tails’ with a twist?”
  11. A duck hops into a bar and orders a “Duck and Stormy.”
  12. So, a duck flutters into a bar and says, “I’m here to ‘bill’ it up! What’s your finest ‘webbed’ wine?”
  13. This duck sashays into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you serve ‘quack-on-the-rocks’?”
  14. A duck glides into a bar and orders a “Pond Punch.” Bartender says, “How about a ‘feather-tini’ instead?”
  15. So, a duck pirouettes into a bar and says, “I’m ready to ‘duck’ into the night. What’s on tap?”
  16. This duck trots into a bar and orders a “Mallard Mule.”
  17. A duck stumbles into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any ‘duck-brews’ that’ll ‘quack’ me up?”
  18. So, a duck struts into a bar and orders a “Bill and Tonic.”
  19. This duck wiggles into a bar and says, “I’m looking for something to ‘duckify’ my evening. Any suggestions?”
  20. A duck hops into a bar with a chicken on its back. Bartender asks, “What’s with the chicken?” Duck says, “Oh, just showing him the ‘pecking’ order!”
  1. A duck waddles into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’ll it be?” Duck says, “Just water, thanks. I’m the designated driver.”
  2. So, a duck walks into a bar. Bartender says, “What’s your poison?” Duck replies, “Anything with a ‘quack’ of flavor!”
  3. This duck struts into a bar. Bartender says, “What can I get you?” Duck says, “Just a quick ‘bill’ for now.”
  4. A duck wiggles into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’s your fancy?” Duck replies, “Something light and ‘pond’rous.”
  5. So, a duck hops into a bar. Bartender says, “You seem eager.” Duck says, “Just quackin’ for a good time!”
  6. This duck saunters into a bar. Bartender says, “What’s the scoop?” Duck says, “Just ‘duck’tails and tales.”
  7. A duck flutters into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’s the rush?” Duck says, “Just winging it!”
  8. So, a duck strolls into a bar. Bartender says, “What’ll it be?” Duck says, “Something to ‘bill’d me up!”
  9. This duck waddles into a bar. Bartender says, “What’s on your mind?” Duck says, “Just looking to quack a smile.”
  10. A duck walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’s the occasion?” Duck says, “Just ‘duck’tails and relaxation!”
  11. So, a duck hops into a bar. Bartender asks, “What brings you here?” Duck says, “Just following the ‘quack’.”
  12. This duck wiggles into a bar. Bartender says, “What’s shaking?” Duck says, “Just my tail feathers!”
  13. A duck struts into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’ll it be?” Duck says, “Something to ‘duck’tate over.”
  14. So, a duck waddles into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’s your story?” Duck says, “Just winging it, as usual!”
  15. This duck strolls into a bar. Bartender says, “What’s the occasion?” Duck says, “Just a ‘quack’tacular day!”
  16. A duck flutters into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’s the rush?” Duck says, “Just feeling ‘fly’.”
  17. So, a duck saunters into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’ll it be?” Duck says, “Something to ‘bill’d me up!”
  18. This duck waddles into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’s on your mind?” Duck says, “Just looking to quack a smile.”
  19. A duck walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “What’s the occasion?” Duck says, “Just ‘duck’tails and relaxation!”
  20. So, a duck hops into a bar. Bartender asks, “What brings you here?” Duck says, “Just following the ‘quack’.”

  1. A duck walks into a bar wearing a top hat and monocle. The bartender looks up and says, “Well, well, well, what’s the quack, sir?”
  2. A duck waddles into a bar and hops onto a stool. The bartender asks, “What can I get for you?” The duck replies, “Just put it on my bill.”
  3. So, a duck saunters into a bar with a suitcase. The bartender, curious, asks, “What’s with the luggage?” The duck responds, “I’m here to stay. I heard this place is ‘quacking’!”
  4. There’s this duck, right? And he strolls into a bar, orders a drink, and puts down a picture of his duck family. The bartender asks, “Are they proud of you?” The duck says, “Well, they should be. I’m the breadwinner.”
  5. Once, a duck walks into a bar, hops on the counter, and orders a round for everyone. The bartender, astonished, asks, “What’s the occasion?” The duck replies, “Just celebrating my latest pond conquest.”
  6. Picture this: a duck walks into a bar, looks around, and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender sighs and says, “No, we don’t serve grapes here.” The next day, the duck returns and asks the same question. This goes on for a week until the bartender snaps, “No, and if you ask me one more time, I’ll nail your beak to the bar!” The duck pauses and asks, “Do you have any nails?” Confused, the bartender responds, “No.” The duck grins and says, “Good. Got any grapes?”
  7. So, there’s this duck who struts into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks at him and says, “Where’d you find the pig?” The duck rolls his eyes and mutters, “It’s a parrot.”
  8. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any duck food?” The bartender, taken aback, says, “Sorry, we don’t serve duck food here.” The duck nods and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any duck food?” The bartender, now irritated, snaps, “I told you yesterday, we don’t serve duck food!” The duck nods again and leaves. The following day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any duck food?” The bartender, furious, shouts, “No, and if you ask me again, I’ll nail your beak to the floor!” The duck nods calmly and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender, puzzled, says, “No.” The duck grins and asks, “Do you have any duck food?”
  9. A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a beer, please, and put it on my bill.” The bartender, amused, asks, “How are you going to pay for it?” The duck proudly responds, “Just put it on my bill.”
  10. Once upon a time, a duck waddles into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender, surprised, asks, “How do you plan to pay for that?” The duck confidently replies, “Just put it on my bill.”
  11. There’s a duck who walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a drink, but I don’t have any money. Can I put it on my bill?”
  12. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender, puzzled, says, “No, we don’t have grapes. This is a bar.” The next day, the duck returns and asks again, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender, annoyed, replies, “No! And if you ask me again, I’ll nail your beak to the floor!” The duck leaves. The following day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender, confused, says, “No, we don’t have nails.” The duck grins and asks, “Got any grapes?”
  13. A duck strolls into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender, noticing the duck’s attire, asks, “Are you here for a special occasion?” The duck replies, “Yes, it’s my hatch-day!”
  14. There’s a duck who waddles into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. He sets it on the counter and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a drink, please, and one for the road.”
  15. Once, a duck walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” The duck replies, “That’s alright, I’ll just quack on something else.”
  16. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Got any bread?” The bartender, puzzled, says, “No, this is a bar.” The duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Got any bread?” The bartender, annoyed, says, “No, and if you ask me again, I’ll nail your beak to the wall!” The duck leaves. The following day, the duck returns and asks, “Got any nails?” The bartender, confused, says, “No.” The duck grins and asks, “Got any bread?”
  17. So, a duck walks into a bar, orders a drink, and sits there quietly. The bartender, intrigued, asks, “Why so glum?” The duck responds, “I’m just feeling a little down.”
  18. A duck saunters into a bar, wearing a trench coat and sunglasses. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and says, “You’re not here for trouble, are you?” The duck replies, “Nah, just quackin’ jokes.”
  19. There’s this duck who waddles into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender asks, “How’s your day going?” The duck replies, “Splendid! Just ducky.”
  20. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you serve ducktails?” The bartender, amused, replies, “Certainly! What’s your favorite kind?” The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”
  1. Why did the duck cross the road? To get to the quack-tastic bar on the other side!
  2. What did the duck say when it walked into the bar? “Put it on my bill, please!”
  3. How does a duck pay for its drinks at the bar? With its duck bill!
  4. Why was the duck banned from the bar? Because it kept telling fowl jokes!
  5. What drink did the duck order at the bar? Just a quack-tail, please!
  6. What did the bartender say when the duck walked in? “Welcome, duck! What’s the feather today?”
  7. Why was the duck so excited to go to the bar? It heard they had a pond-erful selection!
  8. What did the duck say to the bartender? “I’m not a sitting duck; I’m a drinking duck!”
  9. Why did the duck bring a map to the bar? Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
  10. How did the duck get to the bar? By web-foot!
  11. Why did the duck bring a ladder to the bar? To reach the top shelf, of course!
  12. What did the duck wear to the bar? A feather boa!
  13. Why did the duck go to the bar alone? Because all its friends were too chicken!
  14. What did the duck say when it got to the bar? “This place really quacks me up!”
  15. Why did the bartender give the duck a discount? Because it was a loyal quack-tomer!
  16. What did the duck do when it got tipsy at the bar? It started to waddle a little sideways!
  17. Why did the duck ask for a straw at the bar? Because it wanted to drink like a duck!
  18. What did the duck say after a few drinks? “I’m feeling ducky!”
  19. Why did the duck refuse to leave the bar? Because it was having too much fowl play!
  20. What did the duck say before leaving the bar? “I’ll quack you later!”

  1. A duck walks into a bar wearing a trench coat and whispers to the bartender, “Got any quack? I’m feeling a bit ducky tonight.”
  2. A duck waddles into a bar and orders a round of shots for the whole pond. The bartender asks, “What’s the occasion?” The duck replies, “Just celebrating another successful migration.”
  3. So a duck walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “How do you like it?” The duck says, “Just like my feathers—lightly shaken.”
  4. A duck saunters into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve grapes here.” The duck nods and waddles out. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender, annoyed, says, “No, and if you ask me again, I’ll nail your beak to the bar!” The following day, the duck comes back and asks, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender sighs and says, “No.” The duck grins and asks, “Got any grapes?”
  5. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any ducktails?” The bartender responds, “Sure, but I’ll need to see some ID.” The duck pulls out a feather and says, “Will this do?”
  6. Two ducks walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, “Are you two related?” One duck quacks, “No, we’re just fowl friends.”
  7. A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender asks, “How are you going to pay for that?” The duck reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bill, saying, “Put it on my bill.”
  8. So a duck walks into a bar with a duck under each wing. The bartender asks, “Where did you find those?” The duck replies, “I picked them up at the billiards table.”
  9. A duck strolls into a bar and asks the bartender, “Got any crackers?” The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.” The duck shrugs and says, “That’s quackers.”
  10. A duck waddles into a bar and orders a sandwich. The bartender says, “Sorry, we’re out of bread.” The duck replies, “That’s okay, I’ll just have a quacker.”
  11. Three ducks walk into a bar and order three shots of tequila each. The bartender asks, “Celebrating something?” One duck replies, “Just trying to get our feathers ruffled.”
  12. A duck walks into a bar wearing a top hat and monocle. The bartender says, “Well, aren’t you dapper?” The duck responds, “Indeed, good sir. I’m here for the finest pond water you have.”
  13. So a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” The bartender sighs and says, “No, and if you ask me again, I’ll spank you with this paddle.” The duck nods and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, “Do you have any paddles?”
  14. A duck walks into a bar and orders a double bourbon. The bartender looks at him and says, “You seem troubled, what’s the matter?” The duck replies, “I’ve been trying to break up with my girlfriend, but she keeps telling me we’re ‘ducky’ together.”
  15. Two ducks walk into a bar and order a round of shots. The bartender asks, “What’s the occasion?” One duck says, “We just finished migrating. It’s time to get our feathers ruffled!”
  16. A duck walks into a bar wearing a sombrero. The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t get many ducks in here wearing sombreros.” The duck replies, “Well, at these prices, it’s no wonder!”
  17. So a duck walks into a bar and sits down next to a beautiful swan. The duck says, “You’re quite elegant, may I buy you a drink?” The swan responds, “Why, certainly. But I must warn you, I have expensive taste.” The duck chuckles and says, “Don’t worry, I can handle the bill.”
  18. A duck walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour. The bartender asks, “What’s got you down?” The duck replies, “Just dealing with some pond drama. I need a quack-tail to ease the stress.”
  19. Three ducks walk into a bar and order a round of beers. The bartender asks, “What brings you here tonight?” One duck responds, “We heard this place was the ‘beak’ of the town.”
  20. A duck walks into a bar and hops onto a stool. The bartender says, “That’s quite a feat.” The duck responds, “Well, when you’ve got webbed feet, everything’s a stool.”
  1. A duck waddles into a bar and asks the bartender, “Got any quacks on tap?”
  2. So a duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a bill please, and put it on my tab.”
  3. Two ducks waddle into a bar and order a round of “quacktails.”
  4. A duck strolls into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you serve duck soup here? I’m feeling a bit broth-y.”
  5. So a duck waddles into a bar and says, “I’ll have a drink, but nothing too ‘fowl’.”
  6. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any specials for webbed feet?”
  7. Three ducks walk into a bar and the bartender asks, “What’s with the entourage?” One duck replies, “We’re just ‘winging’ it.”
  8. A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The duck replies, “I’m just ‘feathered’ out.”
  9. So a duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m feeling a bit down. Can you cheer me up?” The bartender hands him a rubber ducky and says, “Here, have a ‘quack’ me up toy.”
  10. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any duck-sized stools?”
  11. Two ducks walk into a bar and one says to the other, “Looks like we’re in for a ‘quacking’ good time.”
  12. A duck walks into a bar and orders a “beak”on and soda.
  13. So a duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m here to ‘duck’ out of the rain.”
  14. A duck walks into a bar and orders a “pond”ka cocktail.
  15. A duck waddles into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any duck-shaped snacks?”
  16. So a duck walks into a bar and orders a “wing” and tonic.
  17. A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says, “What can I get you?” The duck replies, “Just some ‘bill’ and water, please.”
  18. A duck walks into a bar and orders a “quack”tail with extra feathers.
  19. Two ducks walk into a bar and one says to the other, “I hope they have a ‘duck’ happy hour.”
  20. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any duck-themed jokes?” The bartender replies, “Sure, they’re all ‘ducky’.”

  1. A duck waddles into a bar and says to the bartender, “Quack open the good times, I’m here for a ‘cheese and quackers’ party!”
  2. So a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Got any ‘quackamole’ for these nachos?”
  3. A duck waddles into a bar and orders a “cheddar on the rocks.”
  4. Two ducks waddle into a bar and one says to the other, “Let’s make this place quack with laughter.”
  5. A duck walks into a bar and orders a “cheese platter,” but the bartender says, “Sorry, we’re all out of ‘gouda’ cheese.”
  6. So a duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m feeling a bit ‘blue,’ do you have any ‘quack-erel’ for that?”
  7. A duck strolls into a bar and orders a “cheeseburger” without the burger, just the cheese.
  8. A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Got any ‘ducking’ good wine?”
  9. So a duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m here to quack open a cold one.”
  10. A duck waddles into a bar and orders a “quackamole” quesadilla.
  11. Two ducks walk into a bar and order a “cheddar-tini” each.
  12. A duck walks into a bar and orders a “cheese fondue” for the table.
  13. So a duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m here for the ‘quack and cheese’ special.”
  14. A duck waddles into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any ‘duckleberry’ wine?”
  15. A duck walks into a bar and orders a “quack-potato” with extra cheese.
  16. A duck strolls into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m in the mood for some ‘brie-lly’ good drinks.”
  17. Two ducks walk into a bar and one says to the other, “Let’s ‘quack’ open the good stuff.”
  18. A duck walks into a bar and orders a “cheeseboard” to share with the whole pond.
  19. So a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any ‘quack-aroni and cheese’?”
  20. A duck waddles into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m here for the ‘gouda’ times.”

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