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1. Why did the cheapskate bring string to the grocery store? To tie up the loose ends on his budget!
2. How does a cheapskate organize a yard sale? With a “pay what you think it’s worth” sign, secretly hoping no one thinks anything is worth anything.
3. What do you call a cheapskate’s favorite dessert? “Free”zers burn.
4. Why did the cheapskate refuse to play cards? He couldn’t stand the thought of raising the stakes.
5. How does a cheapskate stay warm in winter? By standing close to someone who actually paid their heating bill.
6. What did the cheapskate say to his coffee? “Do you come with a free refill?”
7. Why did the cheapskate bring a ladder to the bar? To get to the bottom rung of happy hour prices.
8. How do cheapskates celebrate birthdays? With a cake made of day-old bread and candles from last year’s cake.
9. Why did the cheapskate wear a belt and suspenders? He couldn’t afford to lose his pants to wear and tear.
10. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite type of movie? Anything that’s “on the house.”
11. Why did the cheapskate go to the beach? To collect seashells and avoid buying souvenirs.
12. How does a cheapskate make a call? He whistles for the nearest pigeon and attaches a note.
13. Why did the cheapskate’s car always look clean? He only drove it in the rain.
14. What do you call a cheapskate’s favorite exercise? Bargain hunting.
15. Why did the cheapskate bring a spoon to the dollar store? To scoop up the best deals.
16. How did the cheapskate avoid paying for parking? By always being “just picking someone up.”
17. Why don’t cheapskates ever get lost? They can’t afford to be off-track and pay for the extra gas.
18. What did the cheapskate name his dog? Freebie, because he never paid for it.
19. Why did the cheapskate refuse to buy new shoes? He was waiting for his feet to grow into the old ones.
20. How does a cheapskate deal with stress? By counting the pennies in his piggy bank to calm his nerves.

1. Why did the cheapskate bring a ladder to the supermarket? To reach the higher discounts.
2. What do you call a cheapskate’s pet? A budget terrier.
3. Why did the cheapskate sit on his watch? To save on time.
4. How do you make a cheapskate happy? Tell him there’s a sale on free samples.
5. What did the cheapskate name his boat? The SS Frugal.
6. Why did the cheapskate go to the orchestra? To hear the free concert in the park next door.
7. How does a cheapskate plan a vacation? He visits his backyard and calls it a staycation.
8. Why did the cheapskate refuse to buy new socks? He said the holes were for ventilation.
9. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite game? Hide and save.
10. Why did the cheapskate bring a rake to the bank? To collect all the fallen coins.
11. How does a cheapskate clean his house? By having a garage sale and making the buyers do it.
12. What do you call a cheapskate’s calendar? A free promotional planner from the local pizza place.
13. Why did the cheapskate wear two watches? One was a free giveaway, and he wanted to make sure it worked.
14. How does a cheapskate make his coffee? With reused coffee grounds and imagination.
15. Why did the cheapskate refuse to buy a smartphone? He couldn’t find a pay-as-you-go plan for zero dollars.
16. How does a cheapskate enjoy fine dining? By watching cooking shows while eating instant noodles.
17. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite type of music? Free jazz.
18. Why did the cheapskate bring a spoon to the office? To save on buying disposable stirrers for his coffee.
19. How does a cheapskate celebrate New Year’s Eve? By reusing last year’s confetti.
20. What do you call a cheapskate’s wardrobe? A thrift shop’s finest.

1. Why did the cheapskate install a solar panel on his calculator? To save on battery costs.
2. What do you call a cheapskate’s autobiography? “Penny Wise: My Life of Savings.”
3. Why did the cheapskate bring a pencil to the bank? To draw interest.
4. How did the cheapskate propose? With a ring from a keychain, for a symbolic union.
5. Why do cheapskates love the library? It’s the only place where they can find free “change” of scenery.
6. What do you call a cheapskate’s garden? A pennywise paradise.
7. Why did the cheapskate refuse to get a haircut? He was waiting for a recession.
8. How does a cheapskate make a splash at parties? By bringing tap water with a lemon twist.
9. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite type of social media post? Anything with a “share” button.
10. Why did the cheapskate go to night school? To save on daytime electricity costs.
11. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite type of sandwich? One made at a free sample counter.
12. Why did the cheapskate start a diary? To jot down his savings account growth, penny by penny.
13. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite exercise? Window shopping—burning calories without burning cash.
14. How does a cheapskate handle laundry day? By washing clothes during a rainstorm for a free rinse.
15. Why did the cheapskate visit the cemetery? To see how the cost of living was affecting the dead.
16. What’s a cheapskate’s dream job? A coupon tester.
17. Why did the cheapskate buy a one-way ticket? He heard it was half price.
18. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite mathematical operation? Division—splitting the bill.
19. Why did the cheapskate attend a speech on recycling? To learn how to reuse old excuses.
20. What do you call a cheapskate’s favorite holiday? Free-for-all Friday.

1. Why did the cheapskate carry a ladder? To reach new heights in saving.
2. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite exercise? Budget crunches.
3. Why did the cheapskate sit in the dark? To save on light bulbs.
4. How does a cheapskate travel? In the cheapest fare lane.
5. What do you call a cheapskate’s party? A BYOE—Bring Your Own Everything.
6. Why did the cheapskate get a pet rock? No feeding required.
7. How do cheapskates make friends? By sharing coupons.
8. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite type of music? Free downloads.
9. Why did the cheapskate buy a broken watch? It was half price.
10. How does a cheapskate enjoy the beach? By collecting free sand.
11. Why did the cheapskate plant a money tree? To grow his savings.
12. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite game? Monopoly on clearance.
13. Why did the cheapskate become a comedian? Free laughs.
14. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite color? Sale-green.
15. How do cheapskates stay cool? With homemade fans.
16. Why did the cheapskate buy used batteries? For the remaining charge.
17. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite animal? A penny-pinching pig.
18. Why did the cheapskate wear a scarf indoors? To save on heating costs.
19. How does a cheapskate propose? With a ring pop.
20. What do you call a cheapskate’s hobby? Coupon clipping.

1. Why did the cheapskate sit on the TV? Because he wanted to watch the remote rerun.
2. A cheapskate walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender asks for payment, he says, “Can I just wash the glasses for a month instead?”
3. A cheapskate bought a broken alarm clock. When asked why, he said, “Who needs time when you’re saving a dime?”
4. A cheapskate threw his pennies into the wishing well. When he didn’t hear a splash, he asked for a refund.
5. A cheapskate’s favorite part of a meal? The free toothpick at the end!
6. Why did the cheapskate get excited about the broken scale? Because it said, “Try again later.”
7. A cheapskate went to the beach and brought his own sand to avoid renting a spot.
8. How did the cheapskate teach his dog to fetch? He told it bones were on sale two miles away.
9. A cheapskate entered a marathon just to get the free water at the stations along the route.
10. Why did the cheapskate stare at the orange juice container? Because it said “Concentrate.”
11. A cheapskate took his date to the park for a picnic. When she asked for a napkin, he handed her a leaf.
12. Why did the cheapskate bring string to the movie theater? So he could tie a knot in the middle and have twice as much popcorn.
13. A cheapskate bought a broken pencil. When asked why, he said, “It was pointless to spend more.”
14. Why did the cheapskate sit on his money? He wanted to feel rich without spending a cent.
15. A cheapskate ordered a one-cent stamp and then mailed it to himself just to see what a letter would cost.
16. Why did the cheapskate bring a ladder to the bar? Because the drinks were on the house.
17. A cheapskate’s family reunion was so cheap, they held it at the free sample section of the supermarket.
18. Why did the cheapskate buy a round trip ticket? Because it was a steal even if he never intended to go back.
19. A cheapskate refused to play cards because he heard that the deck was stacked against him.
20. Why did the cheapskate bury his money? He thought he’d save a fortune on bank fees by creating his own underground bank.

1. Why did the cheapskate bring a ladder to the store? To buy things on the top shelf and avoid asking for help!
2. How did the cheapskate fix their broken bike? They used duct tape and a prayer!
3. What did the cheapskate say when asked for a penny for their thoughts? “Can I pay in IOUs?”
4. Why did the cheapskate only eat cereal for dinner? Because milk was on sale, but everything else wasn’t!
5. How does a cheapskate apologize? They offer you expired coupons!
6. Why did the cheapskate refuse to play hide and seek? Because they didn’t want to waste energy hiding!
7. What did the cheapskate do when they found a hole in their sock? They turned it into a fingerless glove!
8. Why did the cheapskate take a flashlight to bed? To save money on electricity while reading under the covers!
9. How did the cheapskate celebrate their birthday? By re-gifting the same card every year!
10. Why did the cheapskate become a musician? Because they heard you can make a lot of dough!
11. What did the cheapskate do when their phone broke? They downloaded the repair manual instead of paying for a fix!
12. Why did the cheapskate only tell knock-knock jokes? Because they’re too cheap to buy punchlines!
13. How did the cheapskate propose? With a ring they found in the couch cushions!
14. Why did the cheapskate refuse to use GPS? Because they’d rather get lost than pay for directions!
15. What did the cheapskate bring to the potluck? A spoonful of ketchup packets!
16. Why did the cheapskate avoid the dentist? Because they believed in the tooth fairy’s free dental plan!
17. How did the cheapskate decorate for Halloween? They recycled last year’s cobwebs!
18. Why did the cheapskate go to the library? To borrow a book on how to save money!
19. What did the cheapskate wear to the beach? A swimsuit made from recycled grocery bags!
20. How did the cheapskate propose a toast? With water, because they refused to buy champagne!

1. Why did the cheapskate bring a ladder to the bar? To get to the “high” spirits for free.
2. What do you call a cheapskate’s ideal date? A Netflix password and chill.
3. How does a cheapskate get rid of old furniture? He sells it as “vintage” to hipsters.
4. Why did the cheapskate become a baker? He heard they made a lot of dough without spending much.
5. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite exercise? Penny pinches.
6. How do cheapskates stay warm in the winter? They stand next to their “old flames” without rekindling.
7. Why did the cheapskate refuse the free sample? He didn’t want to start any expensive habits.
8. How did the cheapskate get rich? He invested in “stock” photos.
9. Why did the cheapskate go to a nudist beach? To save on laundry costs.
10. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite type of movie? A free-runner film.
11. Why don’t cheapskates use deodorant? They think it’s a waste of scents.
12. How does a cheapskate make a phone call? Collect-ively.
13. Why did the cheapskate sit in the middle of the highway? To get a free roadside assistance plan.
14. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite holiday destination? Free-domland.
15. Why did the cheapskate only write half a novel? He couldn’t afford the whole story.
16. How do cheapskates propose? With a ring tone.
17. What did the cheapskate call his thrift shop? “Good as Old.”
18. Why did the cheapskate break up with his girlfriend? She expected him to pay attention.
19. How do you spot a cheapskate at a buffet? They’re the ones sneaking Tupperware in.
20. What do cheapskates and ghosts have in common? They love free boos.

1. Why did the cheapskate dad bring string to the grocery store? To tie up a good deal.
2. What do you call a cheapskate dad’s favorite car? A “coupon” car.
3. Why don’t cheapskate dads ever play hide and seek? Because good things don’t come to those who wait.
4. How does a cheapskate dad cut costs on Father’s Day? He re-gifts last year’s cards.
5. Why did the cheapskate dad start a garden? To grow his own free-range kids.
6. What’s a cheapskate dad’s favorite type of music? Discount-o.
7. Why do cheapskate dads never get lost? Because they refuse to pay for gas to drive around.
8. How does a cheapskate dad fix a broken clock? He waits for the free time.
9. Why did the cheapskate dad bring a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains.
10. What do you call a cheapskate dad who loves the ocean? A penny wave-er.
11. Why did the cheapskate dad become a magician? To make his bills disappear.
12. How do cheapskate dads do laundry? In the dishwasher to save water.
13. Why did the cheapskate dad buy a house? It was on sale for a steal.
14. What’s a cheapskate dad’s favorite movie? Free Willy.
15. How does a cheapskate dad make lemonade? With the neighbor’s lemons.
16. Why don’t cheapskate dads tell secrets? They don’t want to pay for a confidant.
17. What do cheapskate dads call a night out? An early night in.
18. Why did the cheapskate dad buy a broken vacuum? Because it was a great deal and it didn’t suck.
19. How does a cheapskate dad enjoy fine dining? By taking the family to Costco for samples.
20. What do you call a cheapskate dad’s favorite exercise? Bargain hunting.

1. Why did the cheapskate keep a broken pencil? Because it was a good deal, even if it had no point.
2. How did the cheapskate make his coffee? With grounds for savings.
3. Why did the cheapskate stare at the orange juice carton? Because it said “concentrate.”
4. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite type of flower? A bargain-et.
5. Why did the cheapskate sleep with a ruler? To see how long he could sleep for free.
6. How do cheapskates stay cool in the summer? They stand next to fans of good deals.
7. Why did the cheapskate keep a ladder in his wallet? For his high-interest savings.
8. What do cheapskates call a concert? A gathering of free notes.
9. Why did the cheapskate bring a spoon to the store? To dig into the discounts.
10. How do cheapskates write a novel? One coupon at a time.
11. Why did the cheapskate cross the road? To avoid the toll bridge.
12. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite dessert? A penny-cotta.
13. Why don’t cheapskates use the internet? Because they don’t want to get billed.
14. How did the cheapskate fix his broken lamp? With a bright idea and no extra charge.
15. What do cheapskates call a lazy afternoon? A free time.
16. Why did the cheapskate put his money in the blender? To make liquid assets.
17. How do cheapskates travel the world? Through free virtual tours.
18. What’s a cheapskate’s favorite instrument? The cash register, because it makes cents.
19. Why did the cheapskate keep a calendar? To save all his dates.
20. How do cheapskates play cards? With a deck they got for a steal.

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