Share a laugh !

1. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? Because she didn’t like his taste in relationships.
2. How do cannibals make decisions? They take a vote – it’s always a bite-by-bite process.
3. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
4. What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He went out for a bite.
5. Why did the cannibal go to therapy? He had a craving for self-improvement.
6. What do you call a cannibal who is always on time? Punctual-munch.
7. Why did the cannibal turn vegetarian? He got tired of eating people with a lot of beef.
8. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of game? Swallow the leader.
9. Why did the cannibal become a chef? He wanted to put his heart and soul into his cooking.
10. What do cannibals eat for dessert? Finger food.
11. Why did the cannibal go broke? He bit off more than he could chew.
12. How does a cannibal make soup? He starts by adding a little bit of himself.
13. Why was the cannibal so good at math? He knew how to divide and conquer.
14. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
15. Why don’t cannibals play hide and seek? Because good players are hard to find.
16. What’s a cannibal’s favorite board game? Hungry Hungry Hippos.
17. Why did the cannibal get a job at the bakery? He wanted to make a killing in dough.
18. Why did the cannibal go to school? He wanted to learn how to put his best foot forward.
19. What do you call a cannibal who is a terrible dancer? A meal that can’t shake it.
20. Why did the cannibal become a comedian? He wanted to take a bite out of the stand-up scene.

1. Why did the cannibal bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard the buffet was on the roof!
2. What did the cannibal say after eating a comedian? “That guy really had me in stitches!”
3. Why did the cannibal refuse to play cards with his friends? Because he was afraid of getting dealt a bad hand.
4. What did the cannibal do when he got a sore throat? He gargled with salted water… and a few vocal cords.
5. Why did the cannibal open a restaurant? He wanted to take a bite out of the competition!
6. How did the cannibal propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a finger… literally!
7. Why did the cannibal go to the dentist? Because he needed a bite adjustment!
8. What do cannibals eat on a hot day? Popsicles… made from their neighbors!
9. Why did the cannibal become a gardener? He heard it was a great way to grow his own food.
10. What did the cannibal say to his friend at the buffet? “I hope you saved me a seat… and a leg!”
11. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? Because she told him he was too needy… for limbs!
12. What did the cannibal get his mom for Mother’s Day? A heart-felt card… and a side of ribs!
13. Why did the cannibal go to the doctor? He was feeling a bit under the weather… and his neighbors.
14. What’s a cannibal’s favorite dessert? Ladyfingers… and toes!
15. Why was the cannibal a terrible baseball player? He kept trying to steal bases… and basements!
16. What did the cannibal say when he saw his ex? “Looks like you’ve lost some weight… and a few fingers!”
17. Why did the cannibal go to culinary school? He wanted to learn the art of tenderizing meat… and people!
18. What’s a cannibal’s favorite movie? “The Silence of the Hams.”
19. Why did the cannibal go to the beach? He heard it was a great place to find some snacks… and sunbathers!
20. What did the cannibal do at the comedy club? He laughed so hard he almost lost his lunch… and his audience!

1. Why did the cannibal become a vegetarian? He realized he could get all the nutrients he needed from his friends.
2. How did the cannibal become a successful entrepreneur? He started a meal delivery service with a real personal touch.
3. What do cannibals do when they’re feeling charitable? They donate blood… to themselves.
4. Why did the cannibal go to therapy? He wanted to get to the heart of the matter.
5. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of art? Finger painting.
6. How do cannibals stay in shape? They have a strict diet and exercise regime… mostly chasing their meals.
7. Why did the cannibal join the circus? He wanted to learn how to juggle… his meals.
8. What do cannibals do when they’re feeling romantic? They have a candlelit dinner… with a side of candlemaker.
9. Why did the cannibal become a teacher? He wanted to impart some wisdom… and marinade recipes.
10. What do cannibals call their family reunion? A potluck.
11. Why did the cannibal start a band? He heard they were great at eating up the competition.
12. What’s a cannibal’s favorite exercise? Cross chewing.
13. Why did the cannibal get a pet snake? He wanted something that would appreciate his sense of taste.
14. What do cannibals do on Halloween? They go trick-or-treating… for body parts.
15. Why did the cannibal get a job at the morgue? He heard it was a dead-end job… in more ways than one.
16. What’s a cannibal’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Munching.”
17. Why did the cannibal become a detective? He had a knack for solving cold cases… and keeping them cold.
18. What did the cannibal say to the waiter? “I’ll have the chef’s special… and make it rare.”
19. Why did the cannibal become a fashion designer? He had a taste for haute couture.
20. What’s a cannibal’s favorite song? “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor… for obvious reasons.

1. Why did the cannibal become a chef? He wanted to put some heart into his cooking.
2. What’s a cannibal’s favorite snack? Finger food.
3. Why was the cannibal expelled from school? He kept trying to eat the classmates.
4. Why did the cannibal visit the doctor? He had a bad case of indigestion… from swallowing his pride.
5. What do cannibals eat before a race? Fast food.
6. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She just didn’t cut it.
7. What did the cannibal say after eating a clown? “That tasted funny.”
8. Why did the cannibal go to the beach? He heard it was a great place to find seafood.
9. What’s a cannibal’s favorite game? Swallow the leader.
10. Why did the cannibal become a musician? He wanted to play his heart out.
11. What did the cannibal say to the fortune teller? “You can’t predict my future… but I can.”
12. Why did the cannibal go to church? He heard it was a good place to get some soul food.
13. What’s a cannibal’s favorite TV show? “The Walking Fed.”
14. Why did the cannibal start a blog? He wanted to share his bite-sized thoughts.
15. What did the cannibal bring to the potluck? Just dessert.
16. Why did the cannibal get a job at the bakery? He wanted to rise to the occasion.
17. What did the cannibal say after eating his friend? “Thanks for being a good sport.”
18. Why was the cannibal always the life of the party? He brought the main course.
19. What do cannibals do when they’re sick? They call the GrubHub.
20. Why did the cannibal become a gardener? He wanted to cultivate his taste.

1. Two cannibals were sitting around the fire, enjoying a quiet evening. One turns to the other and says, “You know, I really can’t stand my mother-in-law.” The other cannibal nods and says, “Well, just eat the vegetables then.”
2. A cannibal was walking through the jungle when he came across a missionary deep in prayer. The cannibal sneaks up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. As the missionary turns around, the cannibal says, “Sorry to interrupt, but do you mind if I join you for dinner?”
3. Three cannibals were captured by a tribe of rival cannibals. The leader of the rival tribe gives them a chance to escape by completing a task. He says, “If you can go into the forest and bring back ten pieces of fruit, we’ll let you go.” The first cannibal returns with ten apples. The leader says, “Now, for the second part of the task. You must shove all ten pieces of fruit up your backside without showing any emotion, or we’ll eat you.” The first cannibal manages to get five apples in before crying out in pain. The rival tribe eats him. The second cannibal returns with ten cherries. The leader gives him the same task. The second cannibal gets to nine cherries before bursting out laughing. The rival tribe eats him too. In the afterlife, the first cannibal says to the second, “Why did you laugh? You were so close!” The second cannibal replies, “I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples.”
4. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?”
5. Three cannibals are discussing their diets. The first one says, “I hate my mother-in-law.” The second one says, “Then just eat the vegetables.” The third one says, “But I’m a vegan.”
6. Why did the cannibal go to the beach? He wanted to surf the net.
7. Why did the cannibal become a chef? He loved to cook with a dash of personality.
8. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She wasn’t his type, but he figured he’d give her a try anyway.
9. Why did the cannibal go to the dentist? He wanted a bite-sized smile.
10. Why did the cannibal become a politician? He wanted to take a bite out of crime.
11. Why did the cannibal join the circus? He heard they had a great sense of humor.
12. Why did the cannibal go to the doctor? He had a stomachache from eating his feelings.
13. Why did the cannibal become a comedian? He wanted to put a little laughter in people’s lives… before eating them.
14. Why did the cannibal start a bakery? He wanted to rise to the occasion.
15. Why did the cannibal become a teacher? He wanted to share his love of learning… and human anatomy.
16. Why did the cannibal go to space? He heard it was the final frontier… for new flavors.
17. Why did the cannibal become a lifeguard? He wanted to save lives… for dessert.
18. Why did the cannibal go to the museum? He wanted to feast his eyes… before feasting on something else.
19. Why did the cannibal become a musician? He wanted to play with his food.
20. Why did the cannibal go to the therapist? He had a lot of issues to chew on.

1. Why did the cannibal kid bring a ladder to school? Because he heard the cafeteria was serving “top shelf” students!
2. What did the cannibal kid say before starting a game of tag? “You’re it… for dinner!”
3. Why did the cannibal kid refuse to play hide and seek? Because he always ended up finding his friends before dinner!
4. Why did the cannibal kid get sent to the principal’s office? Because he kept taking a bite out of his classmates’ homework!
5. How did the cannibal kid make friends? By giving them a big hug… with extra seasoning!
6. Why did the cannibal kid bring a fork to school? Because he wanted to be prepared for lunchtime!
7. What did the cannibal kid do when he lost a tooth? He put it under his pillow and hoped the tooth fairy would leave him a snack!
8. Why did the cannibal kid join the school band? Because he heard they played some “killer” tunes!
9. What did the cannibal kid say when he saw his friend covered in ketchup? “You look saucy today!”
10. Why did the cannibal kid get detention? Because he kept trying to eat the teacher’s pet!
11. What did the cannibal kid say when he saw a rainbow? “I wonder if there’s a pot of stew at the end!”
12. Why did the cannibal kid bring a fishing rod to school? Because he heard it was a great way to catch some “brain” food!
13. What did the cannibal kid pack for lunch? A sandwich with his classmates… on the side!
14. Why did the cannibal kid get excited during science class? Because they were learning about the food chain!
15. Why did the cannibal kid always do well in math? Because he knew how to “count” on his fingers!
16. What did the cannibal kid say when he got a present? “I wonder what’s on the menu!”
17. Why did the cannibal kid bring a napkin to school? Because he knew his lunch would be finger-licking good!
18. Why did the cannibal kid bring a map to school? Because he heard there was treasure buried under the playground!
19. What did the cannibal kid say to his friend at lunchtime? “I’m glad you’re here… you really hit the spot!”
20. Why did the cannibal kid become a detective? Because he loved solving “mystery meat” cases!

1. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She said she needed space… but he misunderstood and thought she meant personal space.
2. How does a cannibal tell if someone is rich? They taste like they’re well-marbled.
3. Why did the cannibal go to therapy? He had a bad case of “eating disorder.”
4. What’s a cannibal’s favorite dish to cook? Slow-cooked stew… with a hint of irony.
5. Why did the cannibal go to the beach? He heard the sunbathers were seasoned to perfection.
6. Why did the cannibal refuse to play poker with his friends? He didn’t trust anyone not to hold their cards close to their chest… and then eat them.
7. Why did the cannibal start a podcast? He wanted to share his recipes with the world… one bite at a time.
8. What do cannibals eat on a diet? Low-calorie meals… with a high protein count.
9. Why did the cannibal become a lawyer? He loved a good legal tenderloin.
10. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of wine? Red… with a hint of irony and a side of finger sandwiches.
11. Why did the cannibal become a chef? He had a passion for exotic cuisines… and an insatiable appetite.
12. What did the cannibal say after finishing a meal? “That hit the spot… but I could really go for seconds.”
13. Why did the cannibal get a job at the morgue? He wanted to work with fresh ingredients.
14. What’s a cannibal’s favorite movie genre? Horror… with a side of suspense.
15. Why did the cannibal get into gardening? He wanted to grow his own salad… and garnishes.
16. Why did the cannibal become a therapist? He had a knack for “eating” disorders.
17. What did the cannibal say to the chef? “This is delicious… but I’ve had better.”
18. Why did the cannibal get a pet snake? He wanted something to help with portion control.
19. Why did the cannibal go to the art museum? He heard they had some “finger-licking good” exhibits.
20. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of music? Anything with a little bit of “meat” to it.

1. Why did the cannibal dad take his son to work? He wanted to show him the ropes… and the intestines.
2. Why was the cannibal dad always so calm? He knew how to keep a cool head… in the freezer.
3. Why did the cannibal dad go to the doctor? He had a bad case of “snack attacks.”
4. What’s a cannibal dad’s favorite TV show? “The Walking Bread.”
5. Why did the cannibal dad bring a fork to the picnic? He wanted to make sure he had the “upper hand.”
6. Why did the cannibal dad become a chef? He had a taste for adventure… and his family.
7. Why did the cannibal dad go to school? He wanted to learn how to “school” his meals.
8. Why did the cannibal dad start a band? He wanted to rock out… with his crock out.
9. Why did the cannibal dad take up gardening? He wanted to grow some fresh herbs… and limbs.
10. Why did the cannibal dad become a doctor? He had a passion for “internal medicine.”
11. Why did the cannibal dad go to the beach? He heard the sandcastles were finger-licking good.
12. Why did the cannibal dad bring a map to dinner? He wanted to make sure they were on the right “taste track.”
13. Why did the cannibal dad get a job at the bakery? He wanted to knead some dough… and his family.
14. Why did the cannibal dad start a blog? He wanted to share his recipes… and his jokes.
15. Why did the cannibal dad become a teacher? He had a knack for “eating” into students’ minds.
16. Why did the cannibal dad bring a compass to the jungle? He didn’t want to lose his way… to the nearest buffet.
17. Why did the cannibal dad start a podcast? He wanted to share his thoughts… and his dinner plans.
18. Why did the cannibal dad become a lifeguard? He wanted to save lives… for dessert.
19. Why did the cannibal dad go to the museum? He heard they had some “finger-licking good” exhibits.
20. Why did the cannibal dad become a comedian? He had a knack for “eating” up the stage.

1. Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too “meat-headed.”
2. What do cannibals call their favorite love songs? “Tender-lovin’ tunes.”
3. Why did the cannibal become a comedian? He wanted to tickle people’s funny bones… before eating them.
4. Why did the cannibal bring a ladder to the party? He heard the buffet was “high-class.”
5. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of cheese? Limb-burger.
6. Why did the cannibal go to the dentist? He had a “bite” problem.
7. Why did the cannibal join the orchestra? He wanted to play “rib-cage” music.
8. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of movie? “Chomp-romance.”
9. Why did the cannibal become a baker? He loved to “devour” his creations.
10. Why did the cannibal go to the gym? He wanted to work on his “meal-tality.”
11. What do cannibals call their favorite board game? “Snack and Ladders.”
12. Why did the cannibal become a magician? He wanted to “disappear” his dinner.
13. Why did the cannibal go to the comedy club? He heard they had a “gut-busting” lineup.
14. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of weather? Chewing rain.
15. Why did the cannibal become a gardener? He wanted to grow some “finger-licking good” veggies.
16. What do cannibals bring to a potluck? Their appetites… and a side dish.
17. Why did the cannibal get a job at the bakery? He wanted to “dough” his best.
18. What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of TV show? “Cooking with Cannelle.”
19. Why did the cannibal go to the music concert? He heard it was a “mouth-watering” performance.
20. What do cannibals call their favorite restaurant? “The Meat-Up.”

Share a laugh !