240+ Bloody mary jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

|

In
In

240+ Bloody mary jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

Share a laugh !

  1. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw Bloody Mary naked!
  2. What do you call a vampire’s favorite drink? Bloody Mary, of course!
  3. Why did the celery break up with Bloody Mary? It couldn’t handle her saucy attitude!
  4. How does Bloody Mary like her drinks? Bloody cold!
  5. What’s a vampire’s favorite part of a Bloody Mary? The bloody good taste!
  6. Why don’t tomatoes ever get lost? Because they always have Bloody Mary to guide them!
  7. Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get a Bloody Mary with a ghost pepper twist!
  8. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite holiday? Halloween, because it’s the one day she fits right in!
  9. Why did the tomato refuse to play cards with Bloody Mary? Because she always had aces up her sleeve!
  10. What do you call it when Bloody Mary throws a party? A bloody good time!
  11. How does Bloody Mary like her steak? Bloody rare!
  12. Why did Bloody Mary bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were to die for!
  13. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite sport? Volleyblood!
  14. Why did the tomato turn red? It overheard Bloody Mary’s spicy gossip!
  15. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite movie genre? Horror, of course!
  16. Why did the tomato go to therapy? It had a bloody Mary complex!
  17. What did one Bloody Mary say to the other at the bar? “You look bloody fantastic!”
  18. Why was Bloody Mary so good at singing? She had a bloody good voice!
  19. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite song? “Bloody Sunday” by U2!
  20. Why did the tomato call Bloody Mary a superhero? Because she always saved the day with her zesty flavor!
  1. Why did Bloody Mary bring a straw to the bar? Because she wanted to sip on her tomato-y goodness with style!
  2. What do you call a tomato that tells jokes? A bloody hilarious fruit!
  3. Why did Bloody Mary break up with her boyfriend? He couldn’t handle her spicy personality!
  4. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite dance move? The tomato twist!
  5. Why did the celery refuse to go into Bloody Mary? It said, “I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment!”
  6. What did the tomato say to Bloody Mary at the party? “You’re a bloody legend!”
  7. Why did the tomato go to school? To become a certified Bloody Mary mixologist!
  8. What did the bartender say to Bloody Mary when she ordered a drink? “Coming right up, you saucy thing!”
  9. Why did the ghost refuse to haunt Bloody Mary’s house? Because she always had a bloody mary ready to calm the spirits!
  10. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of music? Salsa, because it’s spicy just like her!
  11. Why did Bloody Mary bring a tomato to the beach? Because it wanted to catch some vitamin sea!
  12. What did the tomato say when it saw Bloody Mary? “You’re looking ripe today!”
  13. Why did the vampire join Bloody Mary’s fan club? Because he loved anything with a bloody good taste!
  14. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite hobby? Playing ketchup with her friends!
  15. Why did the tomato blush at the bar? Because Bloody Mary was giving it the eye!
  16. What did the tomato say to Bloody Mary’s secret recipe? “You’re a saucy little thing, aren’t you?”
  17. Why did Bloody Mary bring a ladder to the party? Because she heard the drinks were on a higher level!
  18. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary? “You’re the pit’s knees!”
  19. Why did the celery get jealous of Bloody Mary? Because it couldn’t handle her stalk-ing all the attention!
  20. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite game? Spin the celery!

  1. Why did Bloody Mary win the marathon? Because she was ahead by a tomato’s pace!
  2. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of literature? Bloody Mary Shelley novels!
  3. Why did the tomato refuse to swim with Bloody Mary? It didn’t want to end up as a salsa ingredient!
  4. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Tomato”!
  5. Why did the celery envy Bloody Mary? Because she always had a stalk-ing good time!
  6. What did the tomato say to Bloody Mary during the debate? “You make some valid points, but I still think you’re a bit saucy!”
  7. Why did Bloody Mary become a detective? Because she always knew how to uncover the juiciest mysteries!
  8. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Bloody”!
  9. Why did the ghost compliment Bloody Mary’s cooking? Because it was to-die-for!
  10. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite subject in school? History, because she loves to ketchup on the past!
  11. Why did the tomato blush around Bloody Mary? Because she always knew how to make it red with envy!
  12. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite holiday destination? The Virgin Islands, because she loves a good mix!
  13. Why did the vampire join Bloody Mary’s book club? Because he heard they were reading “Draculata”!
  14. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary’s garnish? “You really know how to top things off!”
  15. Why did the celery feel inadequate around Bloody Mary? Because it couldn’t handle her being the stalk of the town!
  16. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite board game? “Clue” – because she always knows who did it, in the kitchen, with the spices!
  17. Why did the tomato bring sunglasses to Bloody Mary’s party? Because it knew things were about to get spicy!
  18. What did the lemon say to Bloody Mary? “When life gives you tomatoes, make a cocktail!”
  19. Why did the ghost follow Bloody Mary around? Because it wanted to learn the art of haunting from the master!
  20. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite mathematical concept? Multiplication – she loves adding more ingredients to her mix!
  1. Why did Bloody Mary break up with the celery? It just couldn’t handle her tangy personality!
  2. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of music? Salsa!
  3. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw Bloody Mary naked!
  4. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary? “You’re the pit’s knees!”
  5. Why did the ghost refuse to haunt Bloody Mary’s house? She had too much spirit!
  6. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite movie genre? Horror – she loves a good scare with her sip!
  7. Why did the celery feel inadequate around Bloody Mary? Because it couldn’t handle her being the stalk of the town!
  8. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of literature? Bloody Mary Shelley novels!
  9. Why did the tomato bring sunglasses to Bloody Mary’s party? Because it knew things were about to get spicy!
  10. What did the lemon say to Bloody Mary? “When life gives you tomatoes, make a cocktail!”
  11. Why did the ghost follow Bloody Mary around? Because it wanted to learn the art of haunting from the master!
  12. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite board game? “Clue” – because she always knows who did it, in the kitchen, with the spices!
  13. Why did the vampire join Bloody Mary’s book club? Because he heard they were reading “Draculata”!
  14. What did one Bloody Mary say to the other at the bar? “You look bloody fantastic!”
  15. Why was Bloody Mary so good at singing? She had a bloody good voice!
  16. Why did the tomato blush at the bar? Because Bloody Mary was giving it the eye!
  17. Why did the celery refuse to go into Bloody Mary? It said, “I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment!”
  18. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite hobby? Playing ketchup with her friends!
  19. Why did Bloody Mary bring a ladder to the party? Because she heard the drinks were on a higher level!
  20. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite game? Spin the celery!

  1. Why did Bloody Mary go to the doctor?
    Because she was feeling a little under the weather. She told the doctor, “Doc, I think I might have a case of the reds.” The doctor, intrigued, asked her what she meant. She replied, “Well, every time I look in the mirror, I’m turning tomato-red!” The doctor chuckled and said, “Ah, sounds like you’re just too spicy for your own good!”
  2. One day, Bloody Mary decided to try her hand at gardening.
    She planted tomatoes, celery, and even some ghost peppers. But no matter what she did, her garden just wouldn’t grow properly. Frustrated, she asked her neighbor, “What’s the secret to a successful garden?” Her neighbor replied, “Well, Bloody Mary, it’s all about the right mix of soil, sunlight, and a dash of magic!” Mary sighed, “I guess I’ll have to stick to mixing drinks instead of growing veggies.”
  3. It was Halloween night, and Bloody Mary was hosting a costume party.
    All her friends came dressed up as their favorite monsters – vampires, ghosts, and even zombies. But Bloody Mary showed up wearing her usual red dress, carrying a pitcher of her famous concoction. When asked why she didn’t dress up, she replied with a smirk, “Who needs a costume when you’re already bloody terrifying?”
  4. Once upon a time, Bloody Mary decided to try her hand at cooking.
    She invited her friends over for dinner and served them her special tomato soup. Her friends took one spoonful and immediately turned red. Concerned, they asked, “Mary, what did you put in this soup?” She replied with a grin, “Oh, just a dash of my famous Bloody Mary mix – it adds a kick to everything!”
  5. One summer day, Bloody Mary decided to go on a camping trip.
    As she set up her tent in the forest, she noticed something strange – the trees seemed to be whispering secrets to each other. Intrigued, she asked the trees, “What are you gossiping about?” The trees replied, “Oh, just sharing the latest rumors about how spicy your Bloody Marys are!” Mary laughed, “Well, I’m glad my reputation precedes me!”
  6. It was a hot day, and Bloody Mary was craving something refreshing.
    She decided to make herself a tall glass of her signature drink. As she took a sip, she felt a chill run down her spine. Confused, she looked around and saw a ghost hovering nearby. The ghost grinned and said, “Sorry to interrupt, but I couldn’t resist – your Bloody Marys are to die for!” Mary chuckled, “Well, I’m glad you approve!”
  7. One winter evening, Bloody Mary decided to host a cozy gathering at her house.
    She invited her closest friends over for drinks by the fireplace. As they sat around, sipping on her famous concoction, they started sharing ghost stories. Suddenly, they heard a strange noise coming from the kitchen. Mary got up to investigate and found her tomatoes chattering away. She sighed, “Looks like even my veggies can’t handle the heat!”
  8. Once upon a time, Bloody Mary entered a cooking competition.
    She whipped up her best dish – a spicy tomato stew infused with her secret ingredients. The judges took one bite and immediately broke into a sweat. Impressed, they asked Mary, “What’s your secret?” She replied with a wink, “Oh, just a pinch of magic and a whole lot of flavor!” And with that, she walked away with the first-place trophy.
  9. It was Valentine’s Day, and Bloody Mary was feeling lonely.
    She decided to throw herself a singles party, complete with her signature drinks and spicy snacks. As she danced the night away, she couldn’t help but feel a little blue. But then, she remembered something – she didn’t need a partner to have a bloody good time. And with that realization, she raised her glass and toasted to herself, “Here’s to being single and spicy!”
  10. One day, Bloody Mary decided to go on a road trip.
    She packed up her car with snacks, drinks, and her favorite tunes. As she drove through the countryside, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of freedom. But then, she saw a sign for a tomato festival up ahead. Excited, she pulled over and joined in the festivities. And as she sampled all the tomato-inspired dishes, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for her love of all things red.
  1. Why did the tomato go to school? To learn how to become a Bloody Mary!
  2. What did the celery say to Bloody Mary? “Stalk to me, I’m all ears!”
  3. Why did Bloody Mary bring a spoon to the bar? Because she wanted to stir up some fun!
  4. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite game? Tomato tag!
  5. Why did the ghost ask Bloody Mary for a drink? Because it heard she makes the best boo-zy cocktails!
  6. What did one Bloody Mary say to the other? “You’re a real tomato-tastic friend!”
  7. Why did the tomato blush when it saw Bloody Mary? Because it couldn’t ketchup with her beauty!
  8. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite bedtime story? “The Tale of the Juicy Tomato!”
  9. Why did the lemon join Bloody Mary’s party? Because it heard things were about to get citrus-sational!
  10. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary? “Olive you a lot!”
  11. Why did the celery get invited to Bloody Mary’s party? Because it knew how to stalk properly!
  12. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite subject in school? Mixology!
  13. Why did the tomato volunteer at Bloody Mary’s charity event? Because it wanted to give back to the Bloody community!
  14. Why was Bloody Mary’s garden so popular? Because it always had the freshest ingredients!
  15. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite day of the week? Thirst-day!
  16. Why did the ghost ask Bloody Mary for cooking advice? Because it wanted to learn how to make spooky snacks!
  17. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite part of Halloween? Dressing up as a spooky cocktail!
  18. Why did the lemon blush at Bloody Mary’s party? Because it was squeezed to be there!
  19. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite sport? Tomato tossing!
  20. Why did the tomato turn red at the bar? Because it couldn’t handle the thought of being in a drink with Bloody Mary!

  1. Why did Bloody Mary break up with her ex? Because he couldn’t handle her spicy personality – he was more of a bland martini kind of guy.
  2. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a tomato? Because you’ve got my juices flowing.”
  3. Why did Bloody Mary start a band? Because she heard they were looking for a lead singer with a killer taste!
  4. What’s Bloody Mary’s secret to a perfect cocktail? A little bit of spice, a dash of sass, and a whole lot of vodka!
  5. Why did the bartender refuse to serve Bloody Mary after midnight? Because her drinks were so good, they were keeping everyone awake!
  6. Why did the tomato blush around Bloody Mary? Because she knew how to make it red in all the right places!
  7. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of party? A bloody good one!
  8. Why did the celery feel intimidated by Bloody Mary? Because it knew it couldn’t handle her being the star of the show!
  9. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite way to spice things up? A little bit of tabasco and a lot of attitude!
  10. Why did Bloody Mary start her own business? Because she knew how to mix things up and make a splash!
  11. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite accessory? A celery stick – because it’s both stylish and practical!
  12. Why did the ghost keep coming back to Bloody Mary’s bar? Because it couldn’t resist her hauntingly good drinks!
  13. What’s Bloody Mary’s motto? “Life’s too short for bland drinks!”
  14. Why did the lemon ask Bloody Mary out on a date? Because it heard she knew how to add some zest to life!
  15. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary’s garnish? “You really know how to top things off!”
  16. Why did Bloody Mary bring a ladder to the party? Because she heard the drinks were on a higher level!
  17. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of music? Salsa – because it’s as spicy as her personality!
  18. Why did the celery get jealous of Bloody Mary? Because it knew it couldn’t handle her stalk-ing all the attention!
  19. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite way to relax? Soaking in a hot tub filled with her own spicy concoction!
  20. Why did the vampire join Bloody Mary’s fan club? Because it heard her drinks were bloody good!
  1. Why did Bloody Mary go to school? To learn how to mix things up!
  2. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite vegetable? The tomato, of course – it’s the star of the show!
  3. Why was Bloody Mary late to the party? She got stuck in a tomato jam!
  4. What did Bloody Mary say to the bartender? “I’ll have a bloody good time, please!”
  5. Why did the celery feel left out around Bloody Mary? Because it knew it couldn’t handle her being the stalk of the party!
  6. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of weather? Spicy – it’s always perfect for a drink!
  7. Why did the tomato blush around Bloody Mary? Because she knew how to turn up the heat!
  8. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite hobby? Stirring up trouble!
  9. Why did the ghost order a Bloody Mary? Because it heard they were to die for!
  10. Why was Bloody Mary so popular at the bar? Because she always knew how to make a splash!
  11. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite movie? “The Shining” – she loves a good bloody mary!
  12. Why did the lemon join Bloody Mary’s crew? Because it heard she was the zest in town!
  13. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary? “You really know how to pit on a show!”
  14. Why did Bloody Mary bring a ladder to the party? Because she heard the drinks were on a higher level!
  15. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite holiday? Halloween – it’s the one day she fits right in!
  16. Why did the vampire join Bloody Mary’s club? Because it heard she was the queen of the night!
  17. Why did the celery refuse to go into Bloody Mary? It said, “I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment!”
  18. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite game? Spin the celery!
  19. Why was Bloody Mary so good at singing? She had a bloody good voice!
  20. Why did the tomato go to therapy? It had a bloody mary complex!

  1. Why did Bloody Mary become a chef? Because she wanted to stir up some cheesy tomato goodness!
  2. What did the tomato say to Bloody Mary? “You’re the zest thing that ever happened to me!”
  3. Why did the celery fall for Bloody Mary? Because she was the stalk of the party!
  4. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite cheese? Gouda – because it goes great with her spicy flavor!
  5. Why did the ghost ask Bloody Mary for a drink? Because it heard she could conjure up some gouda spirits!
  6. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary’s garnish? “You’re grate!”
  7. Why was Bloody Mary always the life of the party? Because she knew how to cheddar up the atmosphere!
  8. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite romantic movie? “You’ve Got Mail” – because she loves a cheesy love story!
  9. Why did the tomato blush around Bloody Mary? Because she was too gouda to be true!
  10. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite type of music? Mozzarella – it’s cheesy and she loves it!
  11. Why did the lemon ask Bloody Mary out? Because it heard she was a real cheesy catch!
  12. What did the olive say to Bloody Mary? “You’re the cheese to my crackers!”
  13. Why did the celery feel nervous around Bloody Mary? Because she knew she was in for a gouda time!
  14. What did the ghost say to Bloody Mary’s drink? “You’re so cheesy, it’s spooky!”
  15. Why was Bloody Mary always the center of attention? Because she had a gouda sense of humor!
  16. What’s Bloody Mary’s favorite game? “Cheese it or lose it!”
  17. Why did the vampire ask Bloody Mary for a drink? Because it heard she had some bloody gouda cocktails!
  18. What did the olive say when it saw Bloody Mary’s drink? “You’ve really aged cheddar-ly!”
  19. Why did the tomato bring a friend to Bloody Mary’s party? Because it wanted to share the cheesy goodness!
  20. What did the lemon say to Bloody Mary? “You’re so cheesy, I can’t brie-lieve it!”

Share a laugh !

Hit me up on socials :

Leave a Comment