240+ Blonde jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Blonde jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? Because it said, “concentrate!”
  2. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
  3. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
  4. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills!
  5. Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in six months? Because the box said 2-4 years!
  6. What did the blonde say when she saw the “Suits for Sale” sign? “Well, they better not be charging for the pants!”
  7. How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
  8. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said, “concentrate!”
  9. Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
  10. Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? Because she wanted to draw her own conclusions!
  11. Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing out all the W’s!
  12. Why did the blonde stare at the can of juice? Because it said “concentrate”!
  13. Why did the blonde take a spoon to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
  14. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the roof!
  15. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
  16. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said “concentrate”!
  17. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
  18. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the roof!
  19. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
  20. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said “concentrate”!
  1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were “top shelf”!
  2. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!
  3. Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said “concentrate”!
  4. Why did the blonde put her iPhone in the blender? She wanted to make Apple juice!
  5. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side!
  6. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? She was trying to make it concentrate!
  7. Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
  8. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind!
  9. Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? She wanted to draw her own conclusions!
  10. Why did the blonde try to steal a police car? She saw “911” and thought it was a Porsche!
  11. Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? She wanted to measure how long she slept!
  12. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? She wanted to see butterfly!
  13. Why did the blonde sit on the TV? She wanted to watch “The X-Files”!
  14. Why did the blonde try to drown a fish? She wanted to see if they really needed water!
  15. Why did the blonde wear a helmet at the dinner table? She heard it was a crash course!
  16. Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
  17. Why did the blonde go to the dentist? She heard she could get a Bluetooth!
  18. Why did the blonde try to steal a train? She heard it had a caboose!
  19. Why did the blonde put her phone in the blender? She wanted to make Apple juice!
  20. Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were “top shelf”!

  1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the cocktails were “elevated”!
  2. How did the blonde win at chess in one move? She unplugged the opponent’s computer!
  3. Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the interview? So she could reflect on her qualifications!
  4. Why did the blonde take a shopping cart to the library? She heard it was a check-out system!
  5. Why did the blonde bring a GPS to the desert? She didn’t want to get lost in her thoughts!
  6. Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to the cinema? To shed light on the plot holes!
  7. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the marathon? She wanted to reach new heights in running!
  8. Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the restaurant? So she could draw her own conclusion about the menu!
  9. Why did the blonde take a map to the gym? She heard you needed directions to get ripped!
  10. Why did the blonde bring a sponge to the beach? To soak up the sun!
  11. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the concert? She wanted to climb the charts!
  12. Why did the blonde take a calculator to the party? To divide and conquer the dance floor!
  13. Why did the blonde bring a shovel to the office? She wanted to dig deep into her work!
  14. Why did the blonde bring a tape measure to the movie theater? She wanted to see if it measured up to her expectations!
  15. Why did the blonde bring a dictionary to the bar? So she could define her own happy hour!
  16. Why did the blonde bring a magnifying glass to the beach? To have a “sun”-sational time!
  17. Why did the blonde bring a parachute to the job interview? To demonstrate her ability to “fall” into any role!
  18. Why did the blonde take a ruler to the concert? To measure the decibels of the music!
  19. Why did the blonde bring a telescope to the park? To have a “stellar” view of the scenery!
  20. Why did the blonde take a compass to the fashion show? She wanted to navigate through the trends!
  1. Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice? It said, “concentrate!”
  2. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
  3. Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in six months? The box said 2-4 years!
  4. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? She was trying to make it concentrate!
  5. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She wanted to make up her mind!
  6. Why did the blonde take a pencil to the bar? She wanted to draw her own conclusions!
  7. Why did the blonde try to steal a police car? She saw “911” and thought it was a Porsche!
  8. Why did the blonde sit on the TV? She wanted to watch “The X-Files”!
  9. Why did the blonde try to drown a fish? She wanted to see if they really needed water!
  10. Why did the blonde wear a helmet at the dinner table? She heard it was a crash course!
  11. Why did the blonde go to the dentist? She heard she could get a Bluetooth!
  12. Why did the blonde put her phone in the blender? She wanted to make Apple juice!
  13. Why did the blonde try to steal a train? She heard it had a caboose!
  14. Why did the blonde throw butter out the window? She wanted to see butterfly!
  15. Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? She wanted to measure how long she slept!
  16. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side!
  17. Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
  18. Why did the blonde go to the airport with a ladder? She heard the ticket prices were sky-high!
  19. Why did the blonde put her iPad in the oven? She wanted to make hot apple pie!
  20. Why did the blonde take a ladder to the gym? She heard it had a stairmaster!

  1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Well, you see, there was this legendary bartender known for crafting the most exquisite cocktails, ones that would transport you to another dimension with just a sip. And this bartender, he had a peculiar habit of placing the finest drinks on the highest shelf, almost as if he wanted to challenge his patrons to reach for the stars, or in this case, the top shelf. Now, our blonde friend, she had heard rumors about these mystical libations, whispered amongst the town’s elite. Determined to taste the magic herself, she decided to take matters into her own hands, quite literally. Armed with nothing but a ladder and sheer determination, she marched into the bar, ready to conquer any obstacle that stood between her and the elixirs of legend. So, you see, it wasn’t just about getting free drinks; it was about reaching new heights of taste and experience!
  2. Once upon a time, there was a blonde who decided to embark on a journey of self-discovery. She read books, attended seminars, and even went on a spiritual retreat in the mountains. But despite her efforts, she still felt lost. One day, while wandering through the forest, she stumbled upon a wise old sage meditating by a tranquil pond. Intrigued, she approached him and poured out her heart, explaining her quest for enlightenment. The sage listened intently, nodding thoughtfully as she spoke. When she finished, he opened his eyes and said, “My dear child, the answers you seek are not found in the pages of a book or the words of a guru. They lie within you, waiting to be discovered.” The blonde was taken aback by his words but felt a glimmer of hope ignite within her. From that day on, she stopped searching for answers outside herself and instead turned inward, embracing her own wisdom and intuition. And in doing so, she found the enlightenment she had been seeking all along.
  3. Imagine this: a bustling city street, filled with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Among the crowd walks a blonde, her head held high, a determined glint in her eye. She’s on a mission, you see – a mission to prove that blondes are just as capable as anyone else. But as she struts down the sidewalk, disaster strikes – her heel snaps, sending her tumbling to the ground in a spectacular fashion. Gasps echo through the air as concerned onlookers rush to her aid. But instead of accepting defeat, the blonde simply dusts herself off, flashes a charming smile, and quips, “Well, I guess that’s what they mean by a ‘blonde moment’!” The crowd erupts into laughter, and suddenly, the blonde realizes that she’s not just proving herself to others – she’s proving it to herself, one witty comeback at a time.
  4. It was a dark and stormy night, the kind that sends shivers down your spine and makes you question your very existence. In the midst of this tempest, a blonde finds herself stranded on a deserted road, her car sputtering to a halt as if on cue. With no other option, she sets out on foot, determined to find shelter from the raging storm. As luck would have it, she stumbles upon a spooky old mansion nestled among the trees, its windows glowing like beacons in the night. Summoning her courage, the blonde approaches the door and knocks, praying for sanctuary from the elements. To her surprise, the door swings open to reveal a butler with a sinister grin, who ushers her inside with a flourish. Little does she know, she’s just stepped into the most hair-raising adventure of her life, one filled with twists, turns, and enough thrills to make even the bravest soul tremble. But through it all, our fearless blonde never loses her sense of humor, facing each spine-chilling encounter with a quick wit and a hearty laugh. And as the storm rages on outside, she discovers that sometimes, the scariest moments can also be the most exhilarating – especially when you have a blonde joke or two up your sleeve.
  5. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a blonde with a heart of gold and a head full of dreams. She longed to explore the world and experience all it had to offer, from the majestic mountains to the sparkling seas. But alas, fate had other plans, and the blonde found herself stuck in a mundane existence, surrounded by the same familiar faces and the same dull routines day after day. Determined to break free from her monotonous life, she hatched a daring plan – she would become an adventurer, a trailblazer, a modern-day pioneer! With nothing but a backpack and a sense of adventure, she set out into the great unknown, ready to conquer whatever challenges lay ahead. Along the way, she faced fearsome beasts, treacherous terrain, and even the occasional bout of homesickness. But through it all, she never lost sight of her goal, drawing strength from the knowledge that she was blazing a trail for blondes everywhere. And though her journey was long and arduous, the blonde emerged victorious in the end, a true heroine in every sense of the word.
  1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the playground? She heard the slides were for “high” achievers!
  2. How did the blonde fix her toy boat? She used blonde glue – it never sticks!
  3. Why did the blonde bring a spoon to school? She heard they were having a spelling bee!
  4. Why did the blonde take a pencil to the birthday party? She wanted to draw attention!
  5. Why did the blonde put her crayons in the freezer? She wanted to draw something cool!
  6. Why did the blonde take a ruler to the zoo? She heard they had “measuring” lions!
  7. Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to the picnic? She heard they were playing hide and seek!
  8. Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the art class? She wanted to see her reflection in the masterpiece!
  9. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the beach? She wanted to climb the “sand”castle!
  10. Why did the blonde take a calculator to the playground? She heard they were learning “math”ematics!
  11. Why did the blonde bring a sponge to the park? She heard they were having a water fight!
  12. Why did the blonde take a tape measure to the circus? She wanted to see how “high” the tightrope was!
  13. Why did the blonde bring a compass to the amusement park? She wanted to navigate the “rides”!
  14. Why did the blonde bring a shovel to the sandbox? She heard they were digging for treasure!
  15. Why did the blonde take a telescope to the farm? She wanted to see the “milky” way!
  16. Why did the blonde bring a hammer to the school play? She heard they were nailing the performance!
  17. Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the movie theater? She heard they were showing a “dreamy” film!
  18. Why did the blonde bring a magnifying glass to the science fair? She wanted to see things “up close”!
  19. Why did the blonde take a ladder to the basketball game? She heard they were raising the “hoop”!
  20. Why did the blonde bring a snorkel to the pool? She wanted to dive into the “deep” end!

  1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the nightclub? She heard the drinks were on the top shelf – and so were the tall, dark, and handsome men!
  2. How did the blonde become a millionaire? She married for love and her husband happened to be a billionaire!
  3. Why did the blonde take a selfie at the wine tasting? She wanted to capture the moment before she got too “wine-d” up!
  4. Why did the blonde bring a feather to the casino? She heard it was good luck – especially when playing blackjack!
  5. Why did the blonde bring a deck of cards to the bar? She wanted to shuffle up and deal with her boredom!
  6. Why did the blonde take a flashlight to the lingerie store? She wanted to shed some light on her choices!
  7. Why did the blonde take a shovel to the singles’ mixer? She heard it was a great way to dig up some dates!
  8. Why did the blonde bring a telescope to the beach? She wanted to get a closer look at the “scenery”!
  9. Why did the blonde take a map to the gym? She heard it was easy to get lost in the muscle maze!
  10. Why did the blonde bring a calculator to the nightclub? She wanted to calculate her chances of finding Mr. Right!
  11. Why did the blonde bring a snorkel to the bar? She heard it was a dive worth exploring!
  12. Why did the blonde take a ruler to the dance floor? She wanted to measure up to the competition!
  13. Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the concert? She wanted to rest her head on the beat!
  14. Why did the blonde take a dictionary to the speed dating event? She wanted to define her options!
  15. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party? She heard the best conversations happen at the highest levels!
  16. Why did the blonde take a mirror to the wine tasting? She wanted to see if she could “reflect” the flavors!
  17. Why did the blonde bring a tape measure to the nightclub? She wanted to size up the dance floor!
  18. Why did the blonde take a parachute to the rooftop bar? She wanted to make a grand entrance – and a quick escape!
  19. Why did the blonde bring a compass to the singles’ cruise? She wanted to navigate her way to love!
  20. Why did the blonde take a pillow to the cocktail party? She heard it was a “cushy” affair!
  1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on a “high” shelf!
  2. Why did the blonde take a spoon to the restaurant? In case she wanted to “stir” up some trouble!
  3. Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the beach? She heard there were “drawings” in the sand!
  4. Why did the blonde take a map to the amusement park? So she wouldn’t get “lost” in the fun!
  5. Why did the blonde bring a shovel to the party? She wanted to “dig” the vibe!
  6. Why did the blonde take a flashlight to the movie theater? To “brighten” up the film!
  7. Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the concert? So she could “reflect” on the music!
  8. Why did the blonde bring a ruler to the picnic? To “measure” her enjoyment!
  9. Why did the blonde take a calculator to the bakery? To “count” the calories in the pastries!
  10. Why did the blonde bring a sponge to the car wash? To “soak up” the experience!
  11. Why did the blonde take a tape measure to the zoo? To “size up” the animals!
  12. Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the gym? So she could take a “nap”ercise class!
  13. Why did the blonde take a compass to the mall? To “navigate” through the sales!
  14. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the soccer game? To “climb” the ranks!
  15. Why did the blonde take a map to the library? To “explore” new worlds!
  16. Why did the blonde bring a snorkel to the pool? To “dive” into the fun!
  17. Why did the blonde take a telescope to the party? To “spot” the best snacks!
  18. Why did the blonde bring a calculator to the party? To “add” up the fun!
  19. Why did the blonde bring a ruler to the bar? To “measure” her drinks!
  20. Why did the blonde bring a shovel to the beach? To “dig” the sandcastles!

  1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the cheese factory? She wanted to climb to the top of the brie-lliant flavors!
  2. Why did the blonde take a ruler to the cheese shop? To measure the “grate”ness of the selection!
  3. Why did the blonde bring a flashlight to the cheese tasting? She wanted to shed some “light” on the sharp flavors!
  4. Why did the blonde take a pillow to the cheese party? She heard it was going to be a “gouda” time!
  5. Why did the blonde bring a snorkel to the cheese buffet? She didn’t want to drown in the “cheese-melt” of flavors!
  6. Why did the blonde take a map to the cheese festival? She didn’t want to get “cheddar” lost in the varieties!
  7. Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the cheese-making class? She wanted to “dip” into the cheesy goodness!
  8. Why did the blonde bring a magnifying glass to the cheese display? She wanted to see the “brie” details!
  9. Why did the blonde take a pillow to the cheese convention? She wanted to have “cheesy” dreams!
  10. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the cheese tower? She wanted to reach the “peak” of flavor!
  11. Why did the blonde take a telescope to the cheese market? She wanted to “brie” able to see all the options!
  12. Why did the blonde bring a calculator to the cheese party? She wanted to “count” the curds!
  13. Why did the blonde take a tape measure to the cheese auction? She wanted to “measure” the worth of each wheel!
  14. Why did the blonde bring a sponge to the cheese fondue? She wanted to “soak up” all the gooey goodness!
  15. Why did the blonde take a compass to the cheese maze? She wanted to “navigate” her way to the tastiest cheese!
  16. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the cheese mountain? She wanted to “climb” to the summit of flavor!
  17. Why did the blonde take a pillow to the cheese castle? She wanted to “rest” in the kingdom of cheese!
  18. Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the cheese fountain? She wanted to “dive” into the creamy goodness!
  19. Why did the blonde take a snorkel to the cheese ocean? She didn’t want to get “feta” of drowning in flavor!
  20. Why did the blonde bring a compass to the cheese forest? She wanted to “whey” her options!

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