240+ Andrew jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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240+ Andrew jokes – Funny, Short, Dirty, Long…

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  1. Why did Andrew bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
  2. What did Andrew say to the computer? “You make me byte-sized happy!”
  3. Why was Andrew always calm during math class? Because he knew his problems were ‘integer’esting!
  4. Why did Andrew take a pencil to bed? Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
  5. How does Andrew organize a fantastic party? He planet ahead!
  6. Why did Andrew become an astronaut? Because he wanted to find the space bar!
  7. Why did Andrew become a gardener? Because he wanted to ‘grow’ on people!
  8. What did Andrew say to the cheese that looked sad? “You gouda brie happy!”
  9. Why did Andrew bring a ladder to the soccer game? He heard the stakes were high!
  10. Why did Andrew take a clock to the dentist? To ‘tooth’ the time!
  11. Why did Andrew go to the art gallery? Because he wanted to draw some inspiration!
  12. How does Andrew stay cool during summer? He’s chill-Andrew!
  13. Why did Andrew bring a mirror to the party? Because he heard it was a reflection of a good time!
  14. Why did Andrew take a hammer to bed? Because he wanted to hit the hay!
  15. Why did Andrew take a ladder to school? Because he heard the principal was high up!
  16. What did Andrew say to the banana? “You peel me up when I’m down!”
  17. Why did Andrew become a chef? Because he wanted to whisk it all!
  18. Why did Andrew bring a map to bed? In case he got lost in his dreams!
  19. Why did Andrew become a DJ? Because he wanted to mix things up!
  20. What did Andrew say to the coffee? “You brew-tiful thing!”
  1. Why did Andrew bring a ladder to the dance? Because he heard the party was going to be off the charts!
  2. What did Andrew say when he won the marathon? “I guess you could say I really ‘ran’-drew the competition!”
  3. Why did Andrew wear sunglasses to the art museum? Because he wanted to see the ‘sun’drews!
  4. What did Andrew say to the bee who wouldn’t stop buzzing around him? “Bee-have yourself, Andrew’s got this under control!”
  5. Why did Andrew bring a dictionary to the party? Because he wanted to ‘define’ the atmosphere!
  6. How does Andrew keep his cool during a heatwave? He just turns on the ‘fan’-drew!
  7. Why did Andrew become a musician? Because he wanted to ‘orchestra’-te some laughter!
  8. What did Andrew say when he accidentally stepped on a grape? “I guess I’m now the ‘vine’drew of grape stomping!”
  9. Why did Andrew take a suitcase to the park? Because he heard it was going to be a ‘trunk’-ated adventure!
  10. How does Andrew take his coffee? Very, very seriously!
  11. Why did Andrew take a pillow to the cinema? Because he wanted to ‘cushion’ the impact of the movie!
  12. What did Andrew say when he found a dollar on the sidewalk? “Looks like I just ‘andrew’ed some money!”
  13. Why did Andrew bring a map to the desert? In case he got ‘sand’-rewed!
  14. What did Andrew say to the tree? “You’re barking up the wrong Andrew!”
  15. Why did Andrew take a magnifying glass to the beach? He wanted to find some ‘sand’drews!
  16. What did Andrew say when he saw a clown on a unicycle? “Now that’s ‘wheel’-y funny, even for Andrew!”
  17. Why did Andrew bring a shovel to the party? He heard they were digging the music!
  18. What did Andrew say when he saw a rainbow? “Looks like even the sky knows how to ‘andrew’se us!”
  19. Why did Andrew become a comedian? Because he wanted to ‘crack’ everyone up!
  20. What did Andrew say when he saw a snail on the sidewalk? “You’re ‘slo’-drewing down the pace, little buddy!”

  1. Why did Andrew bring a GPS to the library? Because he wanted to navigate through all the plot twists!
  2. What did Andrew say to the inventor? “You’re creating waves, but I’m here to make them ‘andrew’volutionary!”
  3. Why did Andrew take a compass to the park? To find his true ‘north’!
  4. What did Andrew say when he saw a blank canvas? “Looks like a masterpiece waiting for an ‘andrew’tist!”
  5. Why did Andrew bring a tape measure to the concert? To ensure he’s in the ‘right’ measure of music!
  6. What did Andrew say to the cloud? “You’re raining on my parade, but I’ll ‘andrew’tually see the sunshine!”
  7. Why did Andrew bring a microscope to the party? To ‘focus’ on the finer details!
  8. What did Andrew say to the crossword puzzle? “You may have clues, but I’ve got ‘andrew’swers!”
  9. Why did Andrew take a ruler to the beach? To measure the ‘waves’ of excitement!
  10. What did Andrew say to the clock that struck midnight? “Time to ‘andrew’stand the magic of a new day!”
  11. Why did Andrew bring a telescope to the picnic? To see ‘andrew’ the horizon!
  12. What did Andrew say to the moon? “You may be distant, but you still ‘andrew’spire me!”
  13. Why did Andrew take a notepad to the zoo? To ‘capture’ all the wild thoughts!
  14. What did Andrew say to the echo? “You may mimic, but I’ll ‘andrew’ the original voice!”
  15. Why did Andrew bring a calculator to the concert? To ‘compute’ the rhythm!
  16. What did Andrew say to the light bulb? “You shine bright, but I’ll ‘andrew’ the light in my own way!”
  17. Why did Andrew take a protractor to the party? To measure the ‘angles’ of fun!
  18. What did Andrew say to the river? “You may flow, but I’ll ‘andrew’navigate through the currents!”
  19. Why did Andrew bring a magnifying glass to the chess game? To see ‘andrew’ the next move!
  20. What did Andrew say to the telescope? “You may see far, but I’ll ‘andrew’ the stars within reach!”
  1. Why did Andrew bring a spoon to the desert? Because he heard there was a sand-wich!
  2. What did Andrew say to the broken pencil? “No point crying over spilled ink, Andrew!”
  3. Why did Andrew wear sunglasses? Because he couldn’t find his ‘shade’ of humor!
  4. Why did Andrew take a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to ‘high’ school!
  5. What did Andrew say to the cloud? “Stop raining on my ‘andrew’rade!”
  6. Why did Andrew take a map to bed? In case he got lost in his dreams!
  7. Why did Andrew take a mirror to the party? He heard it was going to be a ‘reflective’ experience!
  8. What did Andrew say to the computer? “You make me byte-sized happy, Andrew!”
  9. Why did Andrew take a hammer to bed? Because he wanted to hit the hay!
  10. Why did Andrew bring a pillow to the beach? In case he wanted to take a ‘sand’-nap!
  11. What did Andrew say to the banana? “You peel me up when I’m down, Andrew!”
  12. Why did Andrew become a gardener? Because he wanted to ‘grow’ on people!
  13. Why did Andrew take a clock to the dentist? To ‘tooth’ the time!
  14. What did Andrew say to the coffee? “You brew-tiful thing, Andrew!”
  15. Why did Andrew bring a ladder to the soccer game? He heard the stakes were high!
  16. What did Andrew say to the cheese? “You gouda brie happy, Andrew!”
  17. Why did Andrew become an astronaut? Because he wanted to find the space bar!
  18. What did Andrew say to the tomato? “Ketchup, Andrew?”
  19. Why did Andrew take a magnifying glass to the beach? To find some ‘sand’-drews!
  20. What did Andrew say to the calendar? “Dates are important, Andrew!”

  1. Andrew walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender, intrigued by Andrew’s peculiar attire, asked, “Why are you wearing a suit of armor?” Andrew replied, “I’m preparing for battle.” The bartender chuckled, “Battle? What battle?” Andrew grinned mischievously, “The battle of wits. And I never leave home unprepared!”
  2. Once upon a time, Andrew decided to embark on a quest to find the fabled treasure of Witlandia. Armed with his trusty map and boundless enthusiasm, Andrew ventured into the unknown wilderness. Along the way, he encountered riddles, puzzles, and challenges that tested his intellect. After days of relentless pursuit, Andrew finally reached the treasure chamber. To his surprise, the treasure wasn’t gold or jewels but a book titled “The Wit and Wisdom of Andrew.” And so, Andrew realized that the greatest treasure was the laughter and joy he brought to others.
  3. Andrew was renowned for his legendary sense of humor, but few knew the secret behind his comedic brilliance. One day, a curious admirer asked, “Andrew, how do you come up with such hilarious jokes?” With a twinkle in his eye, Andrew replied, “It’s simple, really. I have a special room in my mind called the ‘Humor Hall.’ Whenever I need a laugh, I stroll down its corridors, where puns and punchlines dance around like jesting jesters. And there, amidst the laughter, I find inspiration.”
  4. Andrew fancied himself a master of disguise and decided to test his skills at the annual masquerade ball. He donned elaborate costumes and assumed various personas, from a suave spy to a dashing pirate. However, no matter how intricate his disguises, Andrew’s unmistakable laughter gave him away every time. Undeterred, Andrew declared, “Who needs disguises when you can charm the crowd with a hearty chuckle?” And so, Andrew became the life of the party, his laughter echoing through the halls long after the masks came off.
  5. One day, Andrew stumbled upon a genie who offered him three wishes. After much contemplation, Andrew declared, “I wish for endless laughter, boundless joy, and an infinite supply of puns!” The genie, taken aback by Andrew’s unconventional requests, granted his wishes with a flick of his wrist. From that day forth, Andrew’s laughter echoed across the land, spreading mirth and merriment wherever he went. And so, Andrew realized that the true magic lay not in wishes granted but in the laughter shared.
  6. Andrew’s love for humor knew no bounds, so he decided to open a comedy club unlike any other. Instead of traditional stand-up routines, Andrew’s club featured interactive performances where the audience became part of the act. With quick wit and clever wordplay, Andrew turned everyday situations into uproarious adventures, leaving patrons in stitches night after night. And so, Andrew’s comedy club became a beacon of laughter, a place where joy reigned supreme and laughter was the currency of the realm.
  7. Legend has it that Andrew once challenged a renowned jokester to a duel of puns. For hours on end, they traded quips and jests, each trying to outdo the other in a battle of wits. As the sun dipped below the horizon, Andrew delivered the final punchline, leaving his opponent doubled over with laughter. With a gracious bow, Andrew declared, “Humor knows no victor, for laughter is the ultimate prize.” And so, Andrew’s name became synonymous with comedic prowess, his jokes cherished for generations to come.
  8. Andrew’s passion for humor led him to the far corners of the earth in search of the world’s funniest joke. He traversed mountains and crossed oceans, seeking wisdom from sages and jesters alike. Along the way, he collected tales of laughter and joy, weaving them into a tapestry of mirth and merriment. And when he finally returned home, empty-handed but hearts full of laughter, Andrew realized that the greatest joke was life itself.
  9. Andrew had a knack for turning the mundane into the extraordinary with a single quip or jest. His friends often marveled at his ability to find humor in the most unlikely of places. One day, as they watched the sunset, Andrew pointed to the horizon and exclaimed, “Look! The sky is telling us a joke!” His friends, puzzled, gazed at the crimson sky until Andrew burst into laughter. “You see,” he chuckled, “the punchline is that we’re all part of the greatest comedy show on Earth!” And so, Andrew’s friends joined in the laughter, knowing that with him, every moment was an opportunity for mirth.
  10. Andrew’s laughter was like a beacon in the night, guiding weary souls through life’s darkest moments. With a joke and a smile, he lit up the world, illuminating the path to joy and happiness. And though storms may rage and shadows may fall, Andrew’s laughter remained a steadfast companion, a reminder that even in the bleakest of times, there is always a reason to smile.
  1. Why did Andrew bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to ‘high’ school!
  2. What did Andrew say when he found a dollar on the sidewalk? “Looks like I just ‘andrew’ed some money!”
  3. Why did Andrew take a magnifying glass to the playground? To find some ‘ant’-drews!
  4. What did Andrew say to the banana? “You peel me up when I’m down, Andrew!”
  5. Why did Andrew take a pillow to the zoo? In case he wanted to take a ‘cat’-nap!
  6. What did Andrew say to the cloud? “Stop raining on my ‘andrew’rade!”
  7. Why did Andrew bring a map to bed? In case he got lost in his dreams, Andrew!
  8. Why did Andrew take a mirror to the park? Because he heard it was going to be a ‘reflective’ day!
  9. Why did Andrew take a hammer to bed? Because he wanted to hit the hay, Andrew!
  10. Why did Andrew take a notepad to the beach? To ‘capture’ all the memories, Andrew!
  11. What did Andrew say to the clock that struck midnight? “Time to ‘andrew’stand the magic of a new day!”
  12. Why did Andrew become a gardener? Because he wanted to ‘grow’ on people, Andrew!
  13. Why did Andrew take a compass to school? To find his true ‘north’, Andrew!
  14. What did Andrew say to the computer? “You make me byte-sized happy, Andrew!”
  15. Why did Andrew take a ladder to the party? Because he heard the stakes were high, Andrew!
  16. Why did Andrew take a suitcase to the park? Because he heard it was going to be a ‘trunk’-ated adventure, Andrew!
  17. What did Andrew say to the tomato? “Ketchup, Andrew?”
  18. Why did Andrew become an astronaut? Because he wanted to find the space bar, Andrew!
  19. What did Andrew say to the coffee? “You brew-tiful thing, Andrew!”
  20. Why did Andrew bring a pillow to the cinema? Because he wanted to ‘cushion’ the impact of the movie, Andrew!

  1. Why did Andrew bring a pillow to the bar? Because he wanted to rest his head after all those shots!
  2. What did Andrew say when he saw a sign that read, “Drink responsibly”? “I’m responsible, I only drink when my name is Andrew!”
  3. Why did Andrew take a map to the wine tasting? Because he wanted to explore new territories of flavor!
  4. What did Andrew say when his friend asked if he wanted another drink? “I’m not sure, let me ‘andrew’ the situation!”
  5. Why did Andrew become a mixologist? Because he wanted to ‘blend’ in at parties!
  6. What did Andrew say when someone asked if he preferred red or white wine? “I prefer ‘andrew’ged wine!”
  7. Why did Andrew bring a straw to the cocktail party? Because he heard the drinks were going to be ‘andrew’tising!
  8. What did Andrew say to the bartender who asked if he wanted his martini shaken or stirred? “Just ‘andrew’nate between the two!”
  9. Why did Andrew bring a bottle opener to the wedding? Because he wanted to ‘un’cork the celebration!
  10. What did Andrew say when he accidentally spilled his beer? “Looks like I just ‘andrew’ed up!”
  11. Why did Andrew become a wine connoisseur? Because he wanted to ‘grape’ knowledge!
  12. What did Andrew say when someone asked if he preferred beer or wine? “I’m more of an ‘andrew’hol guy!”
  13. Why did Andrew bring a corkscrew to the concert? Because he heard it was going to be a ‘pop’ular event!
  14. What did Andrew say when his friend asked why he always ordered the same drink? “Why fix what’s not ‘andrew’ken?”
  15. Why did Andrew take a bottle of whiskey to the picnic? Because he wanted to ‘pour’ on the charm!
  16. What did Andrew say when his friend asked if he wanted another round? “I never say no to an ‘andrew’venture!”
  17. Why did Andrew become a bartender? Because he wanted to ‘mix’ things up in life!
  18. What did Andrew say when someone asked if he was a wine snob? “I prefer the term ‘andrew’noisseur!”
  19. Why did Andrew take a cocktail shaker to the beach? Because he wanted to make waves!
  20. What did Andrew say when his friend asked if he was drunk? “I’m not drunk, I’m just ‘andrew’nimated!”
  1. Why did Andrew bring a ladder to the barbecue? Because he heard the steaks were high!
  2. What did Andrew say when his kid asked for a sandwich? “Sure, but it’s going to be a ‘ham’-drew down!”
  3. Why did Andrew take a map to the amusement park? Because he wanted to ‘navigate’ the fun!
  4. What did Andrew say when his kid asked if they could go to the movies? “Sure, but I’m the ‘andrew’ctor of what we watch!”
  5. Why did Andrew bring a shovel to the beach? To dig ‘sand’-drew castles!
  6. What did Andrew say when his kid asked for a bedtime story? “Once upon a time, in a land called ‘Andrew’…”
  7. Why did Andrew become a gardener? Because he wanted to ‘grow’ on his kids!
  8. What did Andrew say when his kid asked for ice cream? “Sure, but it’s going to be an ‘andrew’-tastic scoop!”
  9. Why did Andrew take a magnifying glass to the park? To look for ‘ant’-drews!
  10. What did Andrew say when his kid asked how to spell “fun”? “F-U-Andrew-N!”
  11. Why did Andrew take a pillow to the picnic? In case he wanted to take a ‘rest’-drew!
  12. What did Andrew say when his kid asked if they could get a dog? “Sure, but you’ll have to ‘paw’-suade me first!”
  13. Why did Andrew bring a camera to the family reunion? Because he wanted to ‘capture’ the memories!
  14. What did Andrew say when his kid asked if they could go to the zoo? “Sure, but it’s going to be a ‘wild’-drew adventure!”
  15. Why did Andrew become a chef? Because he wanted to ‘cook’ up some family fun!
  16. What did Andrew say when his kid asked why the chicken crossed the road? “To get to the ‘andrew’-side!”
  17. Why did Andrew take a ruler to the playground? To measure the ‘heights’ of fun!
  18. What did Andrew say when his kid asked if they could go swimming? “Sure, but remember, safety first, ‘andrew’ foremost!”
  19. Why did Andrew bring a flashlight to the camping trip? Because he wanted to ‘shine’ a light on the adventure!
  20. What did Andrew say when his kid asked why the tomato was red? “Because it ‘andrew’ the sun!”

  1. Why did Andrew bring a slice of cheese to the party? Because he wanted to ‘brie’ng some flavor!
  2. What did Andrew say when he saw a cheese sculpture? “That’s grate art, don’t you ‘cheddar’ see?”
  3. Why did Andrew take a cheese grater to the beach? Because he wanted to ‘shred’ some waves!
  4. What did Andrew say when his friend asked why he was eating so much cheese? “I’m just ‘whey’ too cheesy!”
  5. Why did Andrew become a cheese maker? Because he wanted to be ‘whey’ ahead of the competition!
  6. What did Andrew say when someone asked if he liked cheese? “I’m ‘gouda’ lover, through and through!”
  7. Why did Andrew take a wheel of cheese to the game? Because he wanted to ‘roll’ with the punches!
  8. What did Andrew say when his friend asked if he wanted some cheese? “I’ll take it ‘brie’zy!”
  9. Why did Andrew bring a cheese platter to the picnic? Because he wanted to ‘cheddar’ some memories!
  10. What did Andrew say when someone asked if he was cheesy? “I’m just ‘brie’ing myself!”
  11. Why did Andrew take a cheese knife to the party? Because he wanted to ‘slice’ up the fun!
  12. What did Andrew say when his friend asked if he had any cheese puns? “I’m ‘dairy’ excited to share them!”
  13. Why did Andrew bring a cheese board to the office? Because he wanted to ‘spread’ some joy!
  14. What did Andrew say when his friend asked why he loved cheese so much? “It’s just ‘grate’!”
  15. Why did Andrew take a cheese wheel to the gym? Because he wanted to ‘wheel’ out some gains!
  16. What did Andrew say when his friend asked if he wanted extra cheese on his pizza? “I’ll take it ‘cheddar’ than sorry!”
  17. Why did Andrew become a cheese enthusiast? Because he wanted to be the ‘big cheese’!
  18. What did Andrew say when someone asked if he could eat just one type of cheese? “I’m ‘feta’lly committed to them all!”
  19. Why did Andrew take a cheese board to the barbecue? Because he wanted to ‘grill’ up some cheesy goodness!
  20. What did Andrew say when his friend asked if he had tried a new cheese? “I’m always up for a ‘gouda’ adventure!”

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